"i'll just walk there" it's 31C you are wearing plastic flipflops and you have a limited timeframe so you can't take it easy what actual part of your brain thought this was an acceptable idea you flay-footed fuck
"just walk to tottenham court road we have plenty of time" (at least we got to visit the museum of the order of st john while the garden was actually open: https://www.instagram.com/p/BVmsvViBBan/?taken-by=derekdesanges
it is a beautiful tiny oasis in clerkenwell)
charlie decided we needed a large bottle of gin and i decided we needed a small bottle of gin and what with the two bottles of wine we went through before chris arrived and the half a bottle of pimms, i was right and he wasn't
definitely very allergic to grass my entire torso looks like someone's been firing angry cats at it
we did not feed the parakeets because we were too drunk and i am 500% delighted that i do not remember the majority of the conversation i am only very annoyed that i remember having to pee in the trees
went back to chris's in a valiant attempt to sober up a bit. how this actually worked: charlie drank a litre of water and threw up five times and was still incomprehensibly drunk. chris arbitrarily smashed a glass, i was directed to drink about half a bottle of gin and hung out of a majillionth floor window of a tower block in paddington watching the sun set over london on midsummer's day while waxing aggressively
we tried to go to g-a-y late, which somehow involved being in a restaurant on wardour street briefly which i largely remember because i have a receipt; chris informs me they both started nicking stuff the minute my back was turned but thankfully i was concentrating too hard on trying to understand salad to really notice
g-a-y late wouldn't let us in. not because *i* was monumentally drunk. not because charlie couldn't remember his own face. no, because chris, probably the most sober of us (who'd also had to put my nose piercing back in for me) "was too drunk"; we decided the bouncer was actually just wildly prejudiced against slavs and complained loudly about this all the way to Heaven, which was shut; we ate the peanuts we'd bought for the parakeets all the way to the RVT, which was also shut. Union briefly tried to tell me my PASSPORT WASN'T VALID ID? but we got in, which seems like a waste of time because it was almost empty and at least three of the people who *were* in there were straight; we left in the hopes of making an entire last hour in XXL / Pulse @ SE1 (bear night) but didn't get there (would probably have been fucking empty anyway WHAT IS WRONG WITH LONDON does NO ONE go midweek clubbing anymore) and found ourselves, eventually, in Bar Italia (Charlie demanded we go because he's never been and the Pulp song).
Bar Italia is very expensive. We sat there eating a cheese melt and yelling at Genesis videos in absolute delight before making our way home.
Oh you think the evening is over? Stopped for chicken from Hardies, AKA "how not to have a hangover" (the other part of not having a hangover is to drink water every time you wake up and take a paracetamol the FIRST time you wake up, then keep sleeping until you're not ill, I am pretty sure at least 50% of hangover is just being tired), and on the way back to the house ended up in a lengthy conversation about the overall shitness of men with a junkie-in-remission who was wearing a rainbow bra and accidentally killed her boyfriend's cactus.
My brain politely decided to wake me up repeatedly to inform me that I "probably have eye herpes now and will go blind" but I recognise "alcohol panic" when i see it (more or less) and just went back to bed.
here i am regretting my choice to remove all the skin from the tops of my feet and foolishly thinking this was the dumbest injury i was going to get this week (i have since SUNBURNT MY MOUTH): https://www.instagram.com/p/BVms6cdBl6f/?taken-by=derekdesanges
here is charlie consuming his fourth or fifth glass of wine: https://www.instagram.com/p/BVo8S8nhWkX/?taken-by=derekdesanges
Anyway it took me until about four to start on the test writing and I've had to bow out of a social engagement this evening (partly because I don't want to go anywhere further away than the pub on the corner and partly because it is like standing inside a boiled bollock today - about 10C cooler but also 100% more humid - and partly because the friend I was meant to be seeing subluxed her knee this morning - she has EDS - and I didn't think we'd get the best out of socialising while one of us was sweating gin and the other was having pain sweats), but I've done it, so here it is:( Read more... )
... I started trying to fix the font on that but it involves removing so much crap it's really not worth it.