rionaleonhart: final fantasy viii: found a draw point! no one can draw... (you're a terrible artist)
(No Linkin Park in this entry (well, apart from this line), but I might stick with Linkin Park lyrics in my entry titles for a while, as a small tribute.)


Last night I dreamt that Connor and Michaela from How to Get Away with Murder had sex, because Michaela was complaining that her boyfriend couldn't get her off and, well, Connor is gay, but he does like a challenge.

I'm now really sad that I can't write this on three different levels (I can't write sex, I can't write the characters and it would get me into terrible trouble with the fandom), because I desperately want it to exist. I could actually see it happening; they get along very well, they've been through such intense things together that they're well beyond 'can't make weird propositions in case it damages our friendship', and I really wouldn't put it past Connor to suggest it.

I probably shouldn't rewatch How to Get Away with Murder for the sole purpose of writing something that's going to make a lot of people very angry with me.


Here are the stupidest events from this weekend:

- My mum could barely get out of bed on Saturday. Apparently she'd had trouble sleeping the night before, so she'd taken two Natrasleep tablets - but, whoops, turned out that actually she'd accidentally taken some epilepsy medication that was lying around instead. Nobody in the family has epilepsy. I don't understand how this happened. (She is fine.)

- We drove out to my aunt and uncle's house to celebrate their fiftieth wedding anniversary. At one point, my uncle called for silence and began making a speech about their marriage to the sixty or seventy assembled guests. He had failed to notice that my aunt was not present at the time. She showed up halfway through his speech and wasn't terribly impressed.

- There wasn't enough space in the house, so a fair few of the guests, me included, had to camp in the pouring rain. (Camping is horrendous and I am owed a personal apology from whoever invented the commercial tent, thus leading people to think it was somehow acceptable.) At four in the morning, lying in my tent, I heard voices outside; apparently one of my cousins had got rather drunk and forgotten which tent was his. 'Is this your tent, this little one here?' asked the exasperated other cousin trying to guide him. 'Is this your tent?'

- Eventually, my cousin found his tent and crawled in, and then I heard very annoyed voices and an odd hissing noise. It turned out the next day that he'd somehow immediately deflated the air bed his girlfriend was sleeping on.

- We ran out of petrol on the way back and got stuck on the side of the road for an hour. Apparently our petrol gauge is broken, so my dad was just guessing how much petrol we had left, and his guesswork was not spot-on. A policeman showed up and said that one of us had to get into his car, but he wasn't clear on why. It felt like we were being arrested for poor planning. The police just ended up towing us onto a slightly less busy road (rather than actually usefully towing us to a petrol station), but I still don't understand why my brother had to be in the police car.

- Once we'd got home, my mum told me a story that delighted me: apparently, my aunt's parents did not approve of her relationship with the ruffian who would later marry her and become my uncle. One day, my aunt smuggled my uncle into her bedroom at her parents' house. When they heard her father approaching, my uncle hid in the wardrobe. Her father entered the room, immediately opened the wardrobe and said, 'Who do you think you are: James Bond?'
rionaleonhart: kingdom hearts: riku, blindfolded and smiling slightly. (we'll be the darkness)
I don't have much experience of large music events. I've been to see the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain a few times, mainly in small rooms, once at the Royal Albert Hall. I saw a Paul Simon concert in my teens, in a well-lit room with a largely middle-aged audience. I saw Glee Live! at the O2 six years ago.

Linkin Park is not quite like any of those things.

But I saw Linkin Park at the O2 last night, and it was great. Extremely loud! Which probably shouldn't be a surprise. But great. I'm glad I've now belted out 'Crawling' with an arena full of people to the accompaniment of lovely piano music. It took me a while to grasp that going to a screaming rock concert is not at all like going to a Paul Simon concert and singing along is encouraged. We all made very dramatic gestures during 'In the End'.

They did everything I could have hoped for! 'Castle of Glass', 'Breaking the Habit', 'Crawling', 'Leave Out All the Rest', 'Faint', 'What I've Done', 'In the End'. At the end I was going 'wow, what a great setlist, but I wish they'd done "Numb",' and then they came back on and did it for the encore.

(A part of me was a little sad they didn't do the one cover I've ever heard Linkin Park do, which, to my absolute bewilderment, is 'Rolling in the Deep'. I DON'T KNOW WHY THIS EXISTS, BUT I'LL TAKE IT.)

'It's weird when they're polite,' my friend whispered to me, after lead singer Chester called 'Thank you!' to the enthusiastic audience. Moments later he launched into 'One Step Closer', which required him to scream 'SHUT UP WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU' at us for a full twenty seconds. I could see what she meant.

Chester steadily stripped off more and more items of clothing as the evening went on. He was shirtless by the encore. I was really curious to see whether he'd lose the trousers. Alas, no. He also inexplicably (but delightfully) spent most of the first couple of songs spin-jumping on the spot and waving his arms.

As mentioned, this was a pretty new experience for me, so some things really caught me by surprise. You can feel the drums vibrating through your chest, like a heartbeat. Some irrational part of me was struck by the fear that the drums had somehow replaced or taken control of my heartbeat, and that my heart would stop when the drums did. (It did not. I am fine and have not been forced to hire Linkin Park's drummer to follow me around for my continued survival.)

I wish I could go back in time and tell thirteen-year-old me about this; she'd be awed.

(I briefly wondered which icon to use for this entry. Riku. Of course it's Riku. Riku is by far the most Linkin Park character in my icon collection and is possibly the most Linkin Park character of all the characters I love.)
rionaleonhart: final fantasy x-2: the sun is rising, yuna looks to the future. (Default)


It's been a rough few days. We've just learnt that Mabel, the little tabby here pictured wrapped around her enormous brother Dipper's shoulders, has a heart condition that means she's unlikely to see her second birthday. If we're lucky, we might have a few more months with her. She's home from the hospital, at least, and she seems happy enough now that she's on medication.

She's a good cat, and she loves me more than anyone could possibly deserve to be loved. I'd like someone to know she was here for a while.




(I say 'she's a good cat', but this is her usual position: sitting in front of my computer when I'm trying to work, yelling in my face. She's a nightmare. I love her so much.)
rionaleonhart: okami: amaterasu is startled. (NOT SO FAST)
SOMEONE BROKE INTO THE HOUSE WHILE I WAS IN IT. I was in the sitting room downstairs and they came in through an upstairs window. I heard someone moving around and thought Rei had come home and called up to her and there was a sudden scuffling noise and I went upstairs and SURPRISE, ALL THE BEDROOMS WERE RANSACKED. I don't think they've taken anything important - I think they were specifically looking for cash, so all I've lost is a £5 note that was in my purse - so it's a very mild break-in as break-ins go, but I'm a bit shaken. I was in the house!

It's sort of hilarious because there wasn't really anything of value upstairs, so our thief has gone to a great deal of effort for very little return. 'A jewellery box! Finally! ...containing a pair of cheap Bulbasaur earrings.' Also, one of the bedrooms here contains a lot of sex toys carefully stowed out of sight. I love the idea of the thief going, 'Okay, here's a box hidden behind shoes in the back of the wardrobe, there must be something good in here,' and then... no, just more sex toys. Sorry.

Not looking forward to a full day of work after about four hours of troubled sleep, but we'll see how it goes. Couldn't this person have broken in when I had a less important deadline?

On a lighter note, a conversation between me and Rei this morning:

'Hello?'
'?'
'Did you just make a noise?'
'...I just farted.'
'Oh. It sounded like you were trying to attract my attention.'
'I was. I do that by farting.'

Interesting facts and/or terrible jokes would be a welcome distraction, if you have any to hand!


Here are the latest results from our terrible game of reproducing lyrics in fridge poetry:

'Everyone give it up for America's favourite fighting Frenchman' (Hamilton, 'Guns and Ships'): 'abandon it for the energetic knife man of eastish west the unfree world adores'. ('Unfree world' isn't a political comment on modern America; this song is set during the American Revolution!)

'God bless Mother Nature, she's a single woman too' (The Weather Girls, 'It's Raining Men'): 'sublime king please be gracious to grass mum she's at most one lady'.

Rei gave me the challenge 'love is kinda spooky with a spooky little boy like you', ostensibly from Dusty Springfield's 'Spooky'. I've looked it up now, and it seems this is not the actual lyric! (Love is kinda crazy, apparently.) But it's what I tried to reproduce. I ended up with 'love is discomforting with you the little fear boy'.

'Turn around, bend over, I'll show you where my shoe fits' (Hamilton, 'Cabinet Battle #1'): 'look behind moon me see the landscape my shoe needs to be in'.
rionaleonhart: final fantasy versus xiii: a young woman at night, her back to you, the moon high above. (nor women neither)
I think I slightly alarmed my neighbours by accosting them as they came out of their door with 'Excuse me! Hello. Sorry, I think there's a mouse on my back. Can you see... is there...? Yes. Don't hurt it, but, er, please could you remove it?'

I was in love with that mouse, guys. It was so small and cute. It let me put it on my arm and stroke it. I wanted to keep it as a pet. Probably not a great idea to adopt a mouse that invades your house, particularly as we're likely to get cats before long, but it was what my soul cried out for.

Just as well it climbed up my arm and onto my back, I suppose. If I hadn't had to ask the bewildered neighbours for help, I might never have been able to bring myself to evict it.


I have been reading George RR Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series! I'm a few chapters into A Storm of Swords. (I haven't seen the Game of Thrones television adaptation, so I have no idea what awaits; please don't allude to future events!)

These books are frustrating because I'll get invested in a character or a storyline, and then that storyline will be abandoned for a hundred pages, and by the time it's picked up again I've completely forgotten what was going on. During A Clash of Kings, in particular, I was far more interested in the Arya and Sansa storylines than I was in anything else, so I was sad when I had to slog through endless war and Wall-guarding to get to the next instalment of 'Arya has crossdressing adventures!' or 'the Hound tries to be nice to Sansa but is terrible at it because he doesn't know how'. But I'm enjoying the series enormously, all the same.

Below the cut are some thoughts on A Song of Ice and Fire. Major spoilers for A Game of Thrones; mentions of minor plot details up to the start of A Storm of Swords.


Notes on 'A Song of Ice and Fire' )


Looking up some of the above notes in my diaries, I've been reminded that I once saw the following sign on the wall of a French villa:

CLOSE ALL DOORS AND SHUTTERS WHEN YOU GO OUT
you engaged your responsibility to avoid a spooky
rionaleonhart: kingdom hearts: sora, riku and kairi having a friendly chat. (and they returned home)
I had a really lovely afternoon! It was an unexpectedly sunny day, so on a whim I went to Kensington Gardens to see the fairy village by the Peter Pan statue. Said fairy village is there because GISHWHES, Misha Collins's big ridiculous scavenger hunt, is going on this week, and one of the items is 'build a fairy house out of natural materials in Kensington Gardens'. I'm not participating, but I couldn't resist going to have a look.

I met some scavengers there, building their own houses! One had flown over from Germany to build a fairy house in Kensington Gardens; apparently she was the only non-US-based member of her team, so she'd gone, 'Er, well, I suppose I'm the closest.' She's planning to go to Wales and climb Mount Snowdon for another item tomorrow, so she didn't fly over exclusively for the fairy house, but I still have to admire her dedication.

(When I searched Twitter for 'kensington gardens' later, wondering whether anyone would be talking about the fairy houses, I found she had taken a stealthy photograph of me. (I'd love to show you photographs of the village, but I didn't have a camera myself, and participants aren't allowed to post their pictures publicly until the hunt is over. I imagine pictures will be everywhere soon enough!))

Later I met a couple of girls who'd come from slightly less far afield, and then a pair from another team came over to join us (one of them, for complicated reasons, dressed as Peter Pan). I can see that GISHWHES is a great way to make friends, because there's such an immediate point of bonding: lamenting how difficult some items are to complete. 'There's no kale anywhere! How are we supposed to make a throne out of it?' 'All the churches are closed, and I'm not sure I even know how to play "Carry On Wayward Son" on an organ.'

It was great to see the way passers-by reacted to the fairy village. Some kids tried to build their own fairy houses. While the GISHer from Germany was working on her house, a little girl came tentatively over to her and asked, 'Excuse me, are fairies real?'

It's a good thing it's too late to sign up for GISHWHES this year, because the people I met made it seem really fun. With any luck I'll be able to resist next year. I don't think I have the nerve to participate seriously.
rionaleonhart: harry potter: extremely poorly-drawn dumbledore fleeing and yelling NOOOOOOOOO. (NOOOOOOOOO)
Hello! Sorry I went quiet for a while; I've actually been on holiday in Italy with my family for the past couple of weeks. It was good fun, although it turns out that it only takes finding one scorpion in your bedroom for you to start thinking of your bedroom as a seething nest of scorpions.

Tradition has it that I write up things that amused me during the holiday, so here you go! Cast: Harriet (me), Mum (my mother), Dad (my father), Joseph and Fred (my two younger brothers), Eleanor (Joseph's girlfriend), my uncle Tim, my aunt Pat, my cousin Patrick and Patrick's girlfriend Lily.

Alarmingly, my last entry of family holiday adventures had a couple of readers 'shipping my brothers. I fear this one will do nothing to deter them.


Out-of-Context Theatre:

Harriet: (to Eleanor) What I'm saying is that there's absolutely no need for you to worry about your weight, and also that I keep accidentally stealing your pants.


Family adventures in Italy! )


My family and associates were aware that a write-up of the holiday would appear on my blog, so whenever I started writing in my notebook they'd all go 'wait, why are you writing? Is this going on your blog? Have we been funny?'

Eleanor: What are you writing? Have we done something amusing now? Shall I dance up and down like a monkey? I can lick you.

Towards the end of the holiday, I expressed the concern that I might not have enough material.

Eleanor: Harriet says we might not have been entertaining enough to appear on her blog.
Mum: Oh no!
Eleanor: Although, to be fair, I think we're at least more entertaining than Final Fantasy fanfiction.
Joseph: Yeah, Harriet, some of the stuff that appears on your blog...

Speaking of which, I spent quite a bit of the holiday working on a Final Fantasy VIII/Final Fantasy XIII crossover AU. It's going to have to be chaptered, I think. My record for finishing chaptered fanfiction is notoriously poor, but I've already written the ending, so at least I know what I'm aiming for. Fingers crossed!
rionaleonhart: final fantasy xv: prompto, the best character, with a touch of swagger. (looking ahead)
Here is an entry of scattered points:


– Out and about last night, I caught a fleeting glimpse of a young man who looked a bit like Robert Pattinson. He could conceivably, given that Pattinson grew up around here, have been Robert Pattinson. Was he Robert Pattinson? I suppose I'll never know.


– I've been sort of half-watching the current series of Strictly Come Dancing; my mother's been watching it and, although I have no real interest in or understanding of dance, I've often hung around while it's been on. I am even half-supporting a particular couple: Alex and James. I told my mum that I'd just arbitrarily picked a couple to support, but yesterday I confessed to the real reason:

Riona: I think they first caught my attention because I think he fancies her.
Riona's Mum: It's funny you should say that, because his partner last year was Pamela Stephenson, and she was quite old, and it definitely seemed like he fancied her. Maybe he just gives that impression.
Riona: Or maybe he just fancies everyone.

You're lucky I don't have any grasp of James' voice at all, because otherwise I'd be writing terrible angstfic about how he constantly contrives to fall in love with his partners, thus improving the chemistry of their dances but breaking his own heart. YOU'RE LUCKY.

(The other reason to watch Strictly is Bruno Tonioli, one of the judges, who is gloriously barking mad.)


– Curious scene in our sitting room recently: Joseph, wearing no trousers, leap-piggybacked onto Fred, whose trousers fell down in the process. At this point Dad entered the room, wearing an enormous furry hat and no trousers.

My family.

(Er, I should probably point out that they were all wearing boxers, so their nethers weren't entirely unclad. Also, Joseph is about six foot two, so having him leap onto your back is quite an event.)


– Yesterday I had to e-mail a company that had sent me some work to ask whether we could agree on a per-word rate, rather than their usual per-page, because it was set in a considerably larger page size than usual and so I'd have been paid a third less than my usual rate (I'd be losing about £170). I feel weirdly awful and guilty about asking, even though it's an entirely reasonable thing to request. And it was on Friday evening so I probably won't know whether they'll agree until Monday, augh.


– Whoops, every single image in my Misfits picture folder is of Seth. In my defence: his face.
rionaleonhart: final fantasy xiii: lightning pays intense attention to you. (speak carefully)
Am I the last person in the world to discover 3D photographs? These are so cool. The viewing technique reminds me a bit of Magic Eye pictures, so if you know how to see those you may have a head-start. Human vision is crazy!


On a less positive note: why is there so much Final Fantasy XIII fanart in which Hope is a big manly man and Lightning is blushingly submitting to him? No, seriously, I do not understand. This Hope? This Lightning? Really?


Hope Seduces Lightning: A Fic

Hope: Uh... Light? I was wondering - is it okay if I ask you something?
Lightning: Hm?
Hope: ...uh, never mind.


I learnt recently that Hope's voice actor also voices Phineas Flynn in Phineas and Ferb. This is delightful to me. I want Phineas to meet Hope and teach him about making the most of every day. There's a hundred and four days of Focus-pursuing; Cie'thhood comes along just to end it...

In subsequent poking through voice credentials, I also discovered that Snow's voice actor is voicing James Sunderland in an HD rerelease of Silent Hill 2. I don't know whether to be terrified or laugh forever. Has anyone written fanfiction in which Snow heads into Silent Hill to find Serah? Do it now; I'll wait. (I went to see if I could find anything about the remake on YouTube, and I found this preview, if anyone's curious about the new voices.)

Come to think of it, Cie'th wouldn't be at all out of place in Silent Hill. (Those Seekers? The monsters that basically consist of a head and an arm? I freaked out when one dropped a Cie'th Tear and I realised it had been a person once.) It's generally tougher to write Silent Hill crossovers with a character that already has experience of the horrific. Plus, although Snow certainly has psychological weak spots into which the town could twist a sharpened paperclip, I'm having trouble imagining why it would want to. Not a man with much darkness in his soul, Snow Villiers.

I think what I've learnt today is that 'shared voice actors' does not necessarily an unshakable foundation for a crossover make.

But it's still an awfully tempting one.


(EDIT: Today, I asked my brother to put some plates in the washing machine.

He did exactly that.

I really need to think more before I speak.)
rionaleonhart: harry potter: extremely poorly-drawn dumbledore fleeing and yelling NOOOOOOOOO. (NOOOOOOOOO)
Here is the writeup of our family holiday, during which we passed through places with names such as 'Waterley Bottom', 'Giggleswick' and 'Wigglesworth'! The cast are me, my mum, my dad and my two younger brothers, Joseph and Fred. In case you're not sure who 'Harriet' is: that's my real name, which I'm using in this writeup because my family don't call me Riona.


Signs we saw in various pubs:

'This may come as a surprise to you, but your fellow diners do not wish to hear about your colostomy.'

'Husbands and wives do not hold hands or grope each other in public. People having a bit on the side do. It is obvious, embarrassing and silly. Please control your hormones.'

'Should a hand reach up out of the toilet, you are advised not to shake it.'


Professor McGonagall, where's your monocle? )


By the way, if you ever find a golf ball in a blackberry bush in the Lake District, it is ours. Well, sort of ours. Fred found it in a cluster of trees next to a golf course. I suppose it's technically stolen.

(If you missed them and you're interested, most of the limericks we composed on this holiday are in an entry over here.)
rionaleonhart: final fantasy xiii: lightning pays intense attention to you. (speak carefully)
Here are some things I have seen whilst walking through Brighton:

- a vast convoy of people on bicycles being held up by police whilst an exasperated man bellowed 'MOVE TO THE LEFT OR YOU'LL BE HIT BY A CAR AND NOBODY WILL GIVE TWO SHITS' through a megaphone.
- a man covered in live pigeons.
- a man tightrope-walking between the trunks of two trees.
- a very tall man saying 'As far as I'm concerned, Harry Potter is no longer in my life' into his mobile phone.
- a man with what I assume was his significant other's name tattooed on the back of his shaved head, which I think is quite clever placement; if you break up, all you have to do is grow your hair out.
- a man, in tears, saying 'But the thing is I never tell anyone anything' and then, in response to his female companion's 'You can tell me': 'I can't! I literally can't.' There was nobody else around (it was one in the morning and snowing), so, as it would have been too obvious had I stopped to listen, I kept walking. There's a story I'll never know the ending to.
- literally hundreds of nude cyclists. I had to stop at the side of the road and wait for about five minutes for them all to go past so I could cross. This happened twice in one day.

I'm not going to be living in Brighton for much longer, but I don't think I'm going to forget it. (Then again, perhaps I'm wrong; I'm definitely forgetting things I could have included here, after all. The first five of these were all from one walk.)


I've just stumbled across a page in my notebook filled with bad Final Fantasy XIII crossover AU ideas I'd forgotten about.

Final Fantasy XIII/The Mentalist: Patrick Jane is a fal'Cie and accidentally makes Lisbon and her team into l'Cie with the Focus of catching Red John. He is horrified when he realises what he's done.

Final Fantasy XIII/My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: Twilight Sparkle is a l'Cie, having become one after venturing into the Evergreen Forest on a fact-finding mission. OR MAYBE THEY ALL BECOME L'CIE IN EPISODE TWO. Pony l'Cie have their cutie marks fade away over time; if you don't complete your Focus before it completely disappears, that's it. If they're all l'Cie, it's a story of SIX PONIES AGAINST THE WORLD; if only Twilight Sparkle is a l'Cie, it's a heartwarming tale of eventually being accepted by your friends despite being feared by society in general. And then you turn into a monster. No, hang on...

Final Fantasy XIII/Glee: Kurt is a McKinley l'Cie with the Focus of winning Nationals. MCKINLEY L'CIE ARE FEARED BY ALL OF DALTON.


Finally: [livejournal.com profile] th_esaurus has drawn Charles and Erik with their Pokémon! So adorable. I want to see it reblogged all over Tumblr.

(She protested that Magneton was too obvious. I maintain that it is exactly obvious enough. If a Steel-Electric Pokémon is composed largely of magnets and has 'Magneto' in its name, I'm fairly certain that not giving it to Erik Lehnsherr is illegal.)
rionaleonhart: final fantasy x-2: the sun is rising, yuna looks to the future. (three seconds later)
I had a day out with [livejournal.com profile] th_esaurus yesterday! We watched X-Men: First Class in the cinema and ate ice-cream and went to a private art exhibition where I pretended not to be aware of the fact that Matt Berry was standing next to me. It was a wonderful day.

So! X-Men: First Class!


Thoughts on X-Men: First Class. )


In the post-film discussion (over ice-cream, best day ever):

RD: What I want to read is Erik/Raven fanfiction where she turns into Charles.
Riona: I think I read a Lupin/Tonks fic like that once.
RD: Oh, dear.
Riona: ...where she turned into Charles Xavier.


As we went up the escalator at Liverpool Street, we noticed an advertisement, amongst all the others, saying only 'MIND READING TRICK THIS WAY', with an arrow pointing towards the top of the escalator.

There was no explanation.

We saw nothing unusual at the top.

There is nothing about this on the Internet.

I am a bit afraid that Derren Brown kidnapped us both as we stepped off the escalator and then made us forget about it. (Or maybe Charles Xavier?)

You First.

Jun. 8th, 2011 01:52 pm
rionaleonhart: final fantasy xii: fran glares; tremble with fear! (don't cross me)
And still more Final Fantasy XIII!


Final Fantasy XIII, Chapter Eleven (and the opening of Chapter Twelve). )


So, yes, the entire Chapter Twelve opening cutscene is amazing. I'm usually wary of things that are obviously gratuitously cool, but beyond a certain level of gratuitous coolness you have to get swept up in it.

Also:

Snow: (of the returning fal'Cie) Can't take a hint!
Lightning: You're one to talk.
Snow: ...huh?

I want a reluctant-buddy-cop series about these two.


* Then again, one of my friends looks enough like me to have been mistaken for me by an acquaintance of my father's. She was serving at the pub where said acquaintance was drinking; neither I nor my father was present at the time. He asked, 'You're [Riona's father's] daughter, aren't you?'; because of the weird coincidence of our being friends, she was able to say, 'No, but I know her.' It was a very odd thing to hear about later.
rionaleonhart: final fantasy versus xiii: a young woman at night, her back to you, the moon high above. (nor women neither)
Riona: (no, really, I was actually thinking this yesterday.) Okay, it's been a difficult sixteen months, but I think things are looking up. I've got work, for now; I've got a sort of plan for my near future; the hairdresser said I'd been losing my hair due to stress, but she also said it was growing back, which has to be a good sign. I just need to keep going.
Life: Hello! I've got a present for you.
Riona: Oh, boy! ...wait, it's not food poisoning, is it?
Life: Er, no?
Riona: Great! What is it, then?
Life: Iiiiiit's... food poisoning!
Riona: LIFE
Life: Surprise!
Riona: oh my god when I'm physically capable of leaving this bathroom I'm going to kick your arse

On the bright side, the novel I'm editing at the moment contains a character with severe food poisoning, so perhaps this will help me ensure that it's realistically depicted. It's method editing.


Anyway! In nicer news, [livejournal.com profile] reipan and I have watched the first five episodes of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.

That was an experience. (oh my goodness it is so cute)

A handful of quick thoughts:

- Not only is the main character called Twilight Sparkle, but she initially shares Bella Swan's 'who needs friends? stupid other people being nice to me' attitude. I refuse to believe that this is a coincidence.

- I went 'awww' aloud at Fluttershy's first appearance. She's adorable! And quite like me in several respects, although I've become a little less Fluttershyish in recent years. (Pinkie Pie refuses to prank her because she knows she'll be upset! Pinkie Pie may be ridiculous and overenthusiastic and frequently oblivious, but she knows where to draw the line. Bless her.)

- I spent more or less the entire second episode in tears. LOOK AT ALL THE PONIES BEING FRIENDS AND HELPING EACH OTHER. I am twenty-two years old.

- The ending theme has the lyrics 'My Little Pony! My Little Pony! My Little Pony, frieeeends'. Rei has taken to hissing 'frieeeends' at me in quite a sinister fashion. It's alarming.
rionaleonhart: final fantasy x-2: the sun is rising, yuna looks to the future. (...really?)
So today [livejournal.com profile] reipan introduced me to a friend of hers; let's call her A. I had heard tales of A, but I'm not sure anything could have prepared me for the reality. (Robyn and Helen are other friends of Rei's; 'Hats' is the nickname Rei uses for me.)


Rei: This is A. A, this is Hats.
A: Oh! This is... Brains? Breasts?
Riona: ...erm?
A: This is your friend with the strange name, isn't it?
Rei: Hats?
A: Hats! Yes!
Rei: I like that you got 'Breasts' from that.
A: I like 'Breasts' better. Can I call you Breasts?
Riona: ...okay?

Rei: She wants to see what breasts look like wrapped in clingfilm.
A: Yes. Oh! (to me) Can I wrap your breasts in clingfilm?
Riona: Erm - erm - no, thank you?
A: Awww. Why not?
Riona: Well, I'm not very - experienced - and I'm not sure I should jump straight into having my naked body wrapped in clingfilm.
A: It wouldn't be your naked body; it'd just be your naked breasts.
Riona: Can't you wrap your own breasts in clingfilm?
A: I tried, but it was kind of boring. They didn't really do anything.
Riona: ...were you expecting them to dance?

A: World War II was a conspiracy. Like Osama Bin Laden dying, or 9/11.
(At this point, I have to turn away so she can't see my expression.)
Helen: Tell Hats about your thoughts on Osama Bin Laden, A.
A: Oh, he's hot. Like Santa. He's like Santa for... Muslims, I guess?
(I've been trying not to laugh, because I don't want to offend her, but this is where I crack and start laughing uncontrollably. For several minutes. I end up in tears. She does not seem particularly offended, although she does ask whether I'm all right.)

A: Santa isn't imaginary; he's just a power that we can't see. There's a difference.

A: Christmas is Santa's day! Everyone knows that! Who cares that Jesus died?
Robyn: ...you think that Jesus died on Christmas?
A: No! Like, two million years ago!

A: You can't masturbate in an exam?
Rei: No!
A: Why not?
Rei: Because it's a public place!
A: No, it's not! You've got, like, a table!


So that was an educational experience! I feel that my perception of the universe has shifted. Somebody get this woman her own chat show. Or introduce her to Karl Pilkington.

(She seemed completely earnest. I think she may have been slightly exaggerating her character, but I don't think it could have been entirely constructed. It was a bizarre social encounter.)
rionaleonhart: kingdom hearts: sora, riku and kairi having a friendly chat. (and they returned home)
Things are a bit stressful at the moment (you know the Mitchell and Webb theory that housemates fall into the categories of 'people who are annoying' and 'people who become annoyed'? I am an annoying housemate; the friend with whom I live is an annoyed housemate, and she is at the moment actively annoyed, and when people are annoyed with me I tend to get very upset and run around trying to cook them meals and buy them chocolates (please do not exploit this knowledge for chocolates)), and so, seeking a distraction, I invite you to share extracts from silly things you wrote in your childhood. (EDIT: Silly things you drew are also very welcome!)

For my part: recently, looking through some of the things I drew and wrote when I was a child, I stumbled across the following poem I'd written about my name:

H is for all of the harvest fruit
A for all the apples on the tree
R is for the redcurrants on the bush
R is rabbits for you and me
I for ice cream
E for eaves
T for Tutancarmoon* the egiptians believed


* lol

I clearly sort of gave up halfway through. Eaves, Little Riona? Eaves? Really? You genuinely couldn't think of another word beginning with 'E'? Tutankhamun was really something you associated strongly with yourself?

There's also a card I've written to my dad. It says, 'Dear Daddy. Happy Birthday! I hope you like your Presents. Love From Reepicheep.'

I had completely forgotten that I used to pretend to be Reepicheep when I was younger. I'd walk up and down the house, pretending that I was on the Dawn Treader and had to keep my balance. (He's a swordfighting mouse; who wouldn't want to be him?) The idea of my dad fathering Reepicheep is a tiny bit alarming, frankly.

Also: 'Daddy has his article that he is reading titled "Becketts Bass ruling proves the fallibility of convential wisdom". It does not seem to make sense at all. Why dosen't he just read the Beano?' I concur, younger self; who needs newspapers when you could be reading comics? Honestly. (Ooh, a search turns up the article in question and therefore allows me to date this particular pearl of wisdom! I would have been just about to turn nine. Bit appalled by the fact that I couldn't spell 'doesn't' at that age, although I'll let 'convential' slide.)

And there are the beginnings of a made-up language! To my amusement, 'fic' meant 'shut up' and, although the language had only thirty-four words, one of them meant 'pretend to be a mouse'. I knew where my linguistic priorities lay.
rionaleonhart: harry potter: extremely poorly-drawn dumbledore fleeing and yelling NOOOOOOOOO. (NOOOOOOOOO)
Two nights ago, I went to see an excellent production of Romeo and Juliet at the Roundhouse Theatre! Where, er, I was to be spurned by Romeo.

Sort of.


Riona/Romeo: apparently not an OTP. )


And then I nearly landed myself in hospital whilst making my bed, of all things. It's a top bunk; I backed up too far and toppled backwards over the edge. Sheer 'DO THIS TO NOT DIE' survival instinct kicked in and I just managed to grab the railing in time. Did a sort of backwards somersault and ended up crouched in mid-air, clinging for dear life to the edge of my bed.

I am extremely glad that I didn't manage to kill myself, because - well, for obvious reasons, but also because cracking one's head open whilst making one's bed is one of the most stupid ways to die I can imagine.

(I don't usually bother to make my bed, and what I have learnt from this is that this is entirely the correct approach.)
rionaleonhart: final fantasy x-2: the sun is rising, yuna looks to the future. (not clarkson bidding farewell to his gt)
Exciting Real-Life Adventures:

Riona: Tum ti tum, going to the supermarket.
Man in Supermarket: (looks like Young Tom Clarkson with Older Tom Clarkson's facial hair)
Riona: (walks into a bank of trolleys)

I then apologised to the man who looked like Tom, which, in retrospect, must have been slightly confusing from his point of view.


More of the second series of Waterloo Road! Which I'm actually finding quite difficult to watch, because Lorna's existence is so endlessly miserable. Please cheer up, Lorna, unluckiest woman in the world.

In fact, everyone has a miserable time of it in the early series (serieses!) of Waterloo Road. Whilst life for the characters in the later series certainly isn't easy, it isn't quite as relentlessly awful, thank goodness.

However, there are aspects of the second series that I enjoy very much. Primarily: yeah, so Brett/Davina is pretty hot. He's seventeen; she's around thirty. I was also strangely intrigued by the bullying website putting about the rumour that Tom (a teacher) was shagging Mika (his girlfriend's daughter, a pupil). Waterloo Road appears to be giving me a bit of a penchant for, if not May-December, at least May-August relationships.

[livejournal.com profile] apiphile, who is a terrible person, is not helping with all her talk of Josh/Tom, which a couple of nights ago had me with my head in my hands going 'NOOOO NOOOOOOOO tell me more'.

And then I accidentally wrote a ficsnippet and she sent me a (fabulous) continuation and I even more accidentally sent one back and, look, I'm just saying that, should fic involving Josh, Tom and the concept of genetic sexual attraction show up in the future, it is entirely [livejournal.com profile] apiphile's fault. That's all.

I rather feel I should apologise to the characters by writing lovely father-son bonding fic with no incest at all. Never before has writing something made me feel so guilty.
rionaleonhart: top gear: the start button on a bugatti veyron. (going down tonight)
An entry of bullet points today, some of which are not about Waterloo Road!

- I dreamt a couple of nights ago that I ruffled Kurt Hummel's hair and it was incredibly satisfying.

- I have taken to exclaiming 'OH NOOOO' in delighted horror whenever a terrible plot development comes to light in Waterloo Road. This happens a lot. A pupil develops a crush on a teacher! OH NOOOO. One teacher inadvertently breaks up another's family! OH NOOOO. The exception is when I'm actually seriously emotionally invested in a storyline; I am far too busy wanting to hug Josh unconscious whenever something goes wrong in his relationship with his father to make fun of his pain.

- Waterloo Road is very reluctant to embrace the concept of bisexuality, it seems. Both Ros and Josh, despite having previously shown interest in the opposite sex, are labelled unambiguously as gay after developing an interest in a member of the same sex. Odd.

- Finn, I now know from watching his relationship with Amy progress, is an absolute controlling bastard nutcase. It makes me wonder what poor Josh would have gone through had Finn actually been receptive to his advance. You don't want a relationship with Finn, Josh; he will make you brand his name on your chest and punch your father in the face to prove your love. I do sort of want to read fanfiction about their incredibly unhealthy relationship, though. It could very well make me cry, particularly if Josh's relationship with Tom suffers for it.

- Perhaps I should write fanfiction about Josh and Tom? I haven't written much about parent-child relationships, but I've really fallen for this one. (In case there is any doubt, I am using 'relationship' in a platonic sense.)

- Overheard in my life recently: 'Harry, a sperm bank isn't a bank where you, like, put your sperm up as collateral.' Also, a man on the train whose ringtone was a child saying 'Dad, I'm in your pocket!'

- Rather lonely and bored at the moment, as perhaps evidenced by my incessant updating, but my housemate should be returning over the weekend and I've booked an appointment with an advisor who will hopefully be able to help me find one of those elusive job things. Fingers crossed.

- Just stumbled across the following note to self amongst some of my old university notes:

DEAR RIONA: PLEASE DO NOT POKE YOURSELF IN THE EYE.
PLEASE.
YOU LIKE YOUR EYE.


...sound advice, Past Riona?