The dialogue in Kingdom Hearts is such a cringeworthy disaster, and I love it so passionately anyway. Try to get through a sentence without the words 'darkness', 'light', 'door' or 'heart', Kingdom Hearts. I promise it's possible.

Ellie! One of my all-time favourite characters. I'm pretty nervous about this game - what if it goes in directions that make me unhappy? (it is guaranteed to go in directions that make me unhappy) - but I'm looking forward to it anyway.