Let's Go Back To Wandering Aimlessly; It Made More Sense.

[rionaleonhart]

Right now, dracothelizard is writing a fanfic in which James Sunderland, James May, James Wilson, James Norrington and James of Team Rocket are all stuck in Silent Hill.

I love her.

I do not, however, love her for sending me an e-mail with the following sentence in:

James Sunderland looks a bit like an older Chase.

AND THEN MY BRAIN EXPLODED.

The thing that frightens me the most about this is that it actually makes sense. James could easily be an older Chase. They certainly share qualities (the ever-so-slight incompetence, a certain degree of selfishness and oh, it is so, so difficult to resist making a huge and confusing post about Chase's actions in Hunting and his possible motives and how they compare to Sunderland), and they do look alike, but I cannot think about this because it is an insane and terrifying concept that makes me want to cry. Also because I actually really sort of want to write fanfiction about Chase's slow descent into becoming the man we see in Silent Hill 2 and his thoughts on the parallels between Mary and Cameron, and I shouldn't because it would be insane.

Although, perhaps, not quite as insane as James, James, James, James and James in Silent Hill.

I love that I can seem relatively normal next to Draco. Fic-writing-wise, she is the Clarkson to my May.

Comments

[cryforthemoon.livejournal.com]

Norrington, May and Team Rocket James?! ...OMG. I'll be over here, dying.

[rionaleonhart]

YES. IT IS RIDICULOUSLY AWESOME. Team Rocket James has actually leapt into May's arms, which was adorable in the oddest way ever. JAMES MAY/ROCKET JAMES FOR EVER.

[cryforthemoon.livejournal.com]

Yay! I should find that wrong, I really should. I can't help liking it, though!

[anazri.livejournal.com]

Re: James/James/James/James - what Ness said. Only more so, because I have died and come back to life again and now really want to read this.

[rionaleonhart]

Well, I am encouraging her Quite A Lot, so hopefully it will be finished at some point and I can show it to people and go 'LOOK! FIVE-WAY-CROSSOVER! AWESOME."

Of course, now it's difficult to stop thinking of more and more fictional Jameses (James Potter! James Bond! James Moriarty!), but, er, a fic with eight characters called James would probably be hellishly confusing.

[rionaleonhart]

Did I just imply that James May was fictional? I did, didn't I? Sorry, Mr May.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

Thank God I don't know who Moriarty is, or I might be tempted to put them in. James Bond could work, if only because he'd be suave towards the nurses BEFORE THEY KILL HIM TO DEATH HAHAHA. I MAY have to throw him in just to have him die. Die, Mr. Bond! Die!

I think fic with 4 is already hellishly confusing, and I haven't thrown Norrington in yet!

There are too many people called James, dammit.

[rionaleonhart]

Moriarty is a criminal mastermind, Sherlock Holmes' arch-nemesis. So obviously he must be behind the whole of Silent Hill! Oh, yes.

[rionaleonhart]

Also, the mental image of James Bond chatting up a faceless monster-nurse is priceless.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

I will CONTINUE not to put Moriarty in, because I have never read a Sherlock Holmes book and would get him all wrong!

I rather like the image of him getting killed by a monster nurse. I like Bond and all, but every now and then he just needs to be killed.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

I'm being hated AND loved at the same time? Wow, I really am like Clarkson In A Way... Also, you calling yourself May only means your insanity is deeper below the surface and less obvious but at least as big as mine!

In other words: Write the Chase-as-James-fic! No matter how weird or twisted!

Also, if you want Silent Hill crossover fic with more Jameses, you can write it yourself.

[rionaleonhart]

But but but it would have Chase/Cameron and Mary as a sort of substitute for Cameron and then that would do really weird things to the whole Maria business and Chase slowly going insane and perceiving Pyramid Head as a sort of manifestation of his thoughts on House and it would be the weirdest thing ever and I really, really, really shouldn't write it.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

"Pyramid Head as a sort of manifestation of his thoughts on House"

Ooooh! He could think the spear was a cane!

"it would be the weirdest thing ever"

Also the most awesome.

"I really, really, really shouldn't write it."

I really shouldn't write 'a whole bunch of people called James end up in Silent Hill for some reason and there is awkward flirting' but I am!

[darthfi.livejournal.com]

Personally, I think that if you could distill essence of Draco and essence of you, you could get the *best* recreational drug ever.

[rionaleonhart]

I... honestly don't know whether to be flattered or disturbed. I think I'll go with both. Thank you!

(I would sneakily make people take it and then bask in the resulting crackfic. It would be glorious.)

[darthfi.livejournal.com]

Going with both is probably a good idea. Since I think you're both fantastic writers and completely insane. In the nicest possible way, of course.

And I've never written anything disturbed in my entire life, of course.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

I, er...

I shall take it as a compliment.

And you haven't even *read* snippets of it, and you already want my essence!

[darthfi.livejournal.com]

You think that's bad? I have *no* idea who most of the Jameses are (I only recognise May and Norrington) and I *still* want to read it.

Your essence won't make me pregnant, will it? Because my husband might get upset. And I already used the "look, it was a mad Cloggie" excuse too many times.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

"Your essence won't make me pregnant, will it?"

Well, I don't want any children myself, so I should hope not. It *might* give you a tendency to go 'awwr!' over kittens and puppies and give you a desire to get pets. And, of course, a desire to write crack!fic.

[darthfi.livejournal.com]

Oh well, I'm okay then since I already go "awww" over kittens and puppies, have no desire to have children and may possibly have written much, much crackfic in my time, including quoting Elsie J Oxenham in a spoof mpreg am immune to writing crackfic. Honest, guv, on the last one.

Do horses count as pets?

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

Well, essence de Draco et Riona (it sounds more posh in French) will certainly remove this apparent immunity!

Of course.

[darthfi.livejournal.com]

Well, you're (hopefully) too young to remember, but for some reason the phrase Essence de Draco et Riona makes me think it might be the bastard lovechild of Tramp and Hi Karate.

*runs away*

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

It, er, sounds like I should offended, but in my ignorance, I am not.

Damn you old farts :p.

[darthfi.livejournal.com]

Ehhh, in my day, you young thing, we had to carve our own fic on tablets of stone. Barefoot. In the snow. Uphill. Both ways!

*gets out zimmerframe and bottle of gin*

And as for Hi Karate and Tweed, trust me, you are *glad* that you never encountered either. The only thing Hi Karate was good for was for giving as annoying Christmas presents to male relatives.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

Oh, so Essende de Draco et Riona is being compared to bad Christmas presents? What?

[darthfi.livejournal.com]

Christmas presents that provoke interesting reactions?

*runs away in terror*

*trips up over zimmerframe*

You know, I'm going to blame it all on my advanced age.

*dribbles pathetically*

Oh, but both were highly flammable and probably good for blowing up caravans.

If I annoy you enough, will you write the gender swap fic?

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

"Oh, but both were highly flammable and probably good for blowing up caravans."

Hmm, well, as half of Essence de Draco and Riona I can live with that, although I suspect Essence de Jeremy et Richard would be better for that sort of thing.

"If I annoy you enough, will you write the gender swap fic?"

No. Haha! You can write it.

[rionaleonhart]

The Quick Guide to Jameses Who Are Not May Or Norrington:

James Sunderland (Silent Hill 2): a frightening, frightening man who received a letter from his dead wife saying 'Hey! Go to this hell-town and be attacked by the physical manifestations of your own insanity!' So, er, he did.
James Wilson (House, MD): a doctor who is generally a reasonably nice and competent person but somewhat passive-aggressive and apparently incapable of fidelity.
James of Team Rocket (Pokémon): a thief, but not a very good one and basically a nice person, when he's not being an utter maniac. Has a penchant for crossdressing and lavender hair. Er, that is, the colour is lavender. His hair is not made out of lavender.

As you can probably imagine, sticking all of these Jameses together has interesting results.

[darthfi.livejournal.com]

Have just checked on Sutherland with my husband who, when caught off guard, will occasionally claim he adores me. He does frequently refer to me as "She who must be obeyed" although recently I have been elevated to "She who must not be named", so I've managed a whole new level of terrified compliance there, but he says that no, he most certainly would not do what Sutherland does.

So you're talking about a character who makes the collective Top Gear team seem like a bunch of sane boring blokes who probably took up accountancy.

[rionaleonhart]

AAAAAH, WAY TO PUT A GIGANTIC SPOILER IN MY COMMENTS. HOW WILL I MAINTAIN MY REPUTATION AS A PERSON WITH A LIVEJOURNAL IN THE COMMENTS OF WHICH PEOPLE CAN FROLIC AND PLAY WITHOUT FEAR OF BEING SPOILED? No, hang on, I've never had a reputation like that. I'll just edit a warning into the entry. There we go; all fixed!

I was wondering whether you already knew that. I sort of assumed you did, but I couldn't be sure. Now, though, it's pretty clear.

'a character who makes the collective Top Gear team seem like a bunch of sane boring blokes who probably took up accountancy' is the perfect description of our dear Sunderland and I love it. He is one of the few people who could come in as the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car and effortlessly outcrazy Jeremy.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

The game is five years old! I figured if someone was dead set on playing it they would've played it!

But you can never be too safe.

I did some wikipedia'ing and learned all sorts of exciting things about James!

I am now imagining James Sunderland in the Liana, and I think he would just wildly aim at cameramen and crew, thinking they were monsters.

[darthfi.livejournal.com]

Not bothered by spoilers, since I don't have any interest in playing the game!

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

I deleted the comment and pasted it again and it is now with 50% MORE whited out text!

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

Considering that Sunderland got that letter apparently because

"So you're talking about a character who makes the collective Top Gear team seem like a bunch of sane boring blokes who probably took up accountancy."

Pretty much, yes.

Edit: Now with extra whited-out font that you will need to highlight so you can read it!

[draegonhawke.livejournal.com]

(I would laugh forever* if she added in James T. Kirk.)

*eternal laughter not guaranteed

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

Alas, I have never seen any episode of any Star Trek series. I sort of know he is a big flirting hussy and has subtext with Spock, and I could always throw him in as Random Corpse in the hospital because the Hell Nurses killed him or something.

[draegonhawke.livejournal.com]

[a huge and confusing post about Chase's actions in Hunting and his possible motives and how they compare to Sunderland]

BLARGH.

[rionaleonhart]

YES EXACTLY.

THIS WAS THE THING THAT REALLY MADE ME COMPLETELY FREAK OUT WHEN DRACO SUGGESTED CHASE-IS-JAMES BECAUSE OH GOD ARGH.

[draegonhawke.livejournal.com]

I'm glad that when I was writing out the penultimate arc of the unnamed Chase-is-Sunderland fic I was really rewriting Hunting as an AU. That makes me feel all manner of unsettled.