(The very good reason would be; because it is hilarious.)
Oh, that's terrible! I was rather hoping it would exist, and amusing Top Gear-ish things could happen there (um, although hopefully you wouldn't be stuck being embarrassed by Jeremy).
Oh, hurrah, I managed to write innuendo! (This is, er, something I am quite bad at.) And of course she likes you! How could she not?
Eeeeeeee thank you! As ever, I am ridiculously pleased.
horribly well Oh, dear, sorry. I'm pretty dreadful with telephones too, as anything involving the actual use of my voice is utterly terrifying.
Oh, well, laughter is good, reason or no reason.
Once again I am stupidly happy.
Clearly it should exist. Shame on all the... er... place-creators for not thinking of it! (Also, I am usually spectacularly dreadful at coming up with names, and end up warping the names of people I know - for instance, I once called a character Hannoria - so hurrah for coming up with a good name!)
(Hooray for convincing brand names, also!)
Clarkson called up the chirpy woman at FindMe again, and she happily gave him directions to Hogglesbrook, which turned out to be a rather lovely little town with tiny storybook thatched-roofed cottages; cobblestones that shone in the sunlight which was now ebbing away to dusk; ivy that crept around walls, twisting and turning in the manner that Clarkson imagined his fingers would be twisting and turning through Hammond's hair later; and rather lovely little yellow flowers that appeared to be almost everywhere.
"Just the kind of place May would pick for a holiday. Honestly, never thinks of going to Ibiza or Faliraki, does he? Nope, it's some silly little town in the middle of nowhere where he can sleep and read his books and play his piano like the poncy twat he is."
"Well, if you dislike him so much, you can stop trying to drag him into a threesome, then, can't you?" snapped Hammond, whose last nerve was being worked by Clarkson.
"Oh, I never said that, Hammond. I couldn't pass up an oppurtunity to annoy you this much."
Harriet looked slightly perturbed. "Um, you're still me... you know that, right?"
"Oh, I won't be doing a thing before I have my own glorious frame returned to me."
"You won't be doing anything after!" cried Hammond, aghast.
Jeremy grinned. "For God's sake, Hammond, how can you resist the oppurtunity to be with a prime piece of man-meat like me? You'll never do any better." He turned to Harriet. "You know, to pass the time, you could tell me every single thing you love about me. It might help to convince Hammond."
"Not a word!" said Hammond, rounding on her, his eyes now having passed the stage of saucer-wide and reached the stage of dinnerplate-wide.
Harriet seemed strangely amused by the situation.
"Don't you smile!" exclaimed Hammond. "It's not bloody funny! A madman trapped in the body of a teenage girl is trying to seduce me!"
TG moved close enough to Richard to give his hand a snuffly and comforting little kiss.
"May had better bloody hurry up," snapped Hammond.
"Yes," said Jeremy, grinning an entirely evil grin that had no good intentions whatsoever, "May had better hurry up."
Hammond shot him a glare. "I hope you never change back if you're going to do what you're threatening to when you do."
Harriet looked rather alarmed at the idea of being Jeremy Clarkson for the rest of her life. TG cuddled closer to her, attempting to be comforting. TG was quite sure the Stig would be able to reverse the strange bodyswap, although she hoped Harriet would stick around for a while before then.
Richard edged away from Clarkson, who was leering at him horribly, and hoped May wouldn't live up to his nickname for once.
no subject
Oh, that's terrible! I was rather hoping it would exist, and amusing Top Gear-ish things could happen there (um, although hopefully you wouldn't be stuck being embarrassed by Jeremy).
Oh, hurrah, I managed to write innuendo! (This is, er, something I am quite bad at.) And of course she likes you! How could she not?
Eeeeeeee thank you! As ever, I am ridiculously pleased.
horribly well Oh, dear, sorry. I'm pretty dreadful with telephones too, as anything involving the actual use of my voice is utterly terrifying.
Oh, well, laughter is good, reason or no reason.
Once again I am stupidly happy.
Clearly it should exist. Shame on all the... er... place-creators for not thinking of it! (Also, I am usually spectacularly dreadful at coming up with names, and end up warping the names of people I know - for instance, I once called a character Hannoria - so hurrah for coming up with a good name!)
(Hooray for convincing brand names, also!)
Clarkson called up the chirpy woman at FindMe again, and she happily gave him directions to Hogglesbrook, which turned out to be a rather lovely little town with tiny storybook thatched-roofed cottages; cobblestones that shone in the sunlight which was now ebbing away to dusk; ivy that crept around walls, twisting and turning in the manner that Clarkson imagined his fingers would be twisting and turning through Hammond's hair later; and rather lovely little yellow flowers that appeared to be almost everywhere.
"Just the kind of place May would pick for a holiday. Honestly, never thinks of going to Ibiza or Faliraki, does he? Nope, it's some silly little town in the middle of nowhere where he can sleep and read his books and play his piano like the poncy twat he is."
"Well, if you dislike him so much, you can stop trying to drag him into a threesome, then, can't you?" snapped Hammond, whose last nerve was being worked by Clarkson.
"Oh, I never said that, Hammond. I couldn't pass up an oppurtunity to annoy you this much."
Harriet looked slightly perturbed. "Um, you're still me... you know that, right?"
"Oh, I won't be doing a thing before I have my own glorious frame returned to me."
"You won't be doing anything after!" cried Hammond, aghast.
Jeremy grinned. "For God's sake, Hammond, how can you resist the oppurtunity to be with a prime piece of man-meat like me? You'll never do any better." He turned to Harriet. "You know, to pass the time, you could tell me every single thing you love about me. It might help to convince Hammond."
"Not a word!" said Hammond, rounding on her, his eyes now having passed the stage of saucer-wide and reached the stage of dinnerplate-wide.
Harriet seemed strangely amused by the situation.
"Don't you smile!" exclaimed Hammond. "It's not bloody funny! A madman trapped in the body of a teenage girl is trying to seduce me!"
TG moved close enough to Richard to give his hand a snuffly and comforting little kiss.
"May had better bloody hurry up," snapped Hammond.
"Yes," said Jeremy, grinning an entirely evil grin that had no good intentions whatsoever, "May had better hurry up."
Hammond shot him a glare. "I hope you never change back if you're going to do what you're threatening to when you do."
Harriet looked rather alarmed at the idea of being Jeremy Clarkson for the rest of her life. TG cuddled closer to her, attempting to be comforting. TG was quite sure the Stig would be able to reverse the strange bodyswap, although she hoped Harriet would stick around for a while before then.
Richard edged away from Clarkson, who was leering at him horribly, and hoped May wouldn't live up to his nickname for once.