Trabia Garden

It Seems For A Moment Like This Won't Be A Goes Wrong Entry, But Don't Fall For It.

Tue, 14 Apr 2026 09:03:59 GMT

Taskmaster is back, and I enjoyed the new episode a lot; it looks like it's shaping up to be a fun series! Here, in honour of the occasion, are a couple of Goes Wrong/Taskmaster questions I've been asked on Tumblr.

the-red-thread-that-strangles: If you could pick a lineup of contestants from The Goes Wrong Show to participate in Taskmaster, who would you pick, how would they do, and who do you think would win?

I’d love to see Annie, Chris, Dennis, Robert and Vanessa as a Taskmaster lineup!

I don’t imagine anyone’s surprised that I’ve chosen Robert. He’d throw himself into every task with great determination, but he’d swiftly get frustrated and start complaining. He’d argue passionately against every poor score he receives, no matter how obviously warranted.

Vanessa would approach every task with an air of brisk but slightly nervous competence and fall apart immediately.

Dennis would misunderstand more or less every task and do something completely different. His general air is ‘wandered onto the set by accident, confused and scared, doesn’t entirely know what Taskmaster is and seems to believe that something terrible will happen if he doesn’t complete these tasks’. Greg and Alex are increasingly baffled by him. Over the course of the series, Greg’s responses to Dennis’s task attempts go from making fun of him to 'you okay, mate?’

Annie would be having an incredible time; she’d have a blast with the tasks and would cheer the others on enthusiastically in the studio. She’d probably win the series.

Chris would consider the affair undignified and would sigh deeply after reading every task. He’d start out putting in a half-hearted effort, then get increasingly angry as his efforts fail and end up throwing his entire being into getting the task done.

The teams are Annie/Vanessa/Dennis, who muddle disastrously through tasks together but occasionally manage to do something surprisingly well, and Chris/Robert, who never get anything done because they’re so busy arguing about the correct approach.

Trevor, despite not being a contestant, is inexplicably there, running around in the background of tasks and putting out fires.

Anonymous: ok but who would win in a fight between robert grove and greg davies?

I think both Greg and Robert would shrink from a serious physical fight! If you forced them to battle, however, Robert is strong as hell ~~and it’s hot~~; he unintentionally knocks Chris flat with a backhand in The Lodge, and he’s able to pick Annie and Dennis up with apparently very little effort. (This five-second clip in particular, where he grabs Dennis and zooms offstage, left me thinking a lot about Robert's capacity to throw people around.)

So my answer is that they’ll both try to run away from the fight. If a battle did take place, Robert would theoretically win. However, because he is a member of the Cornley Drama Society, he’s going to trip over and knock himself out in the first five seconds of the fight, and Greg will be left to claim slightly confused victory.

That or they’d make out, obviously.

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You've Put Me In A Very Difficult Position.

Mon, 13 Apr 2026 09:52:12 GMT

Last night, I took my mum to see The Play That Goes Wrong on stage for her birthday! She really seemed to enjoy herself; she commented that it was lovely to see a play where the audience was so clearly really into it. I'm very pleased.

We had a different Robert and Dennis from the last time I went to see The Play That Goes Wrong, on the eighth of February! What, yes, it's normal to see the same play again nine weeks later, don't give me that look.

( The Play That Goes Wrong on stage, 12 April 2026. )

Before the play, Trevor goes around asking if anyone's seen a dog; in the end, with nothing to play the role of the dog, the actors simply pretend an invisible dog is present. As we left the theatre, Trevor's actor was collecting for charity, so I had the opportunity to speak briefly to Trevor as I donated:

Riona: The dog never turned up?
Trevor: Yeah, well, there's always... not tomorrow, 'cause we've got a day off. There's always Tuesday, isn't there?
Riona: Well, if it's still missing by then, you could ask Robert to play the dog. I'm sure he'd be happy to have more stage time.
Trevor, deadpan: Yeah, he's got basically no lines. I'll just play it myself.

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You're Weak, Chris.

Sun, 12 Apr 2026 08:12:10 GMT

Another instalment of Goes Wrong questions I've been asked on Tumblr! I've been having a great time with these.

Anonymous: Do you think Chris would have felt self-conscious about being called 'weak' by Robert? Would Robert like that Chris is 'weak' or want him to be a more even match? (I am imagining a (disastrous) Cornley training montage.)

I think Chris probably hated being called weak by Robert; it bothered him more than he'd like to admit. From anyone else, he'd have been able to shrug it off; his strength isn't usually something he's particularly insecure about! From Robert, though, the accusation of weakness gets under his skin.

For his part, Robert disapproves of Chris's weakness and feels a responsibility to fix it. This might actually be part of why he's constantly pushing against Chris's decisions; in his head, he's helping Chris learn to stand up for himself. They can't have a weak director, either in mind or in body; it puts the whole drama society at risk. What if someone stronger comes along and forces Chris to make the wrong casting decision?

Robert should ideally be the director, of course. But, if he can't be, he can at least make Chris stronger. (Cue the disastrous training montage.)

Anonymous: DO YOU THINK ANY OF CORNLEY WOULD BE TUMBLR USERS? AND IF THEY ALL WERE THEN WHAT WOULD THEIR BLOGS LOOK LIKE?

Chris created a Tumblr in the hope of promoting the drama society, but he gave up on it very quickly. It contains four posts: a photograph of the set for one of their plays, a photograph of the poster for one of their plays, and two photographs of birds he reblogged.

Robert is not really an Internet person and does not have a Tumblr. However, if he did have one, it would be entirely filled with black-and-white photographs of himself in dramatic poses, each captioned with a quotation from a play.

Sandra's Tumblr is all selfies, all the time. She never reblogs anything or communicates with anyone else on the platform. (Chris and Robert might communicate with other Tumblr users, but a) rarely, and b) only to get into arguments.)

Max posts photographs multiple times per day. Pictures of rehearsals, friends, family, animals, landscapes, plants, food. Sometimes he'll post a photograph that leaves people going 'why did you even take this?': a paving slab, the corner of a desk, a blurry close-up of his own sleeve. He follows all the others and likes everything they post, but he never reblogs.

Annie actually uses Tumblr properly! She reblogs pictures she likes and text posts that make her laugh, she keeps up with her mutuals, and she posts a lot of ask memes to encourage people to talk to her. She's definitely at least peripherally aware of fandom and may well be actively in fandom.

Dennis originally just used his Tumblr for liking animal pictures and videos, but then he saw a post scolding people for not reblogging and panicked. He now reblogs everything he sees out of a confused sense of obligation.

Vanessa created a Tumblr at Annie's insistence, spent a long time carefully setting it up and finding the perfect layout, and then got too intimidated to actually use it and left it untouched. If she did use it, she would exclusively reblog, rather than making any posts of her own, and would tag everything meticulously; she and Annie are the only members of the drama society who actually use tags.

Jonathan exclusively makes short text posts about his everyday life like he thinks he's on Twitter.

Trevor's Tumblr has never been used; it has a default icon and no posts. The blog name is 'trevor' and the blog description is 'stop telling me to make one of these annie'.

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I'm Not Particularly A Chris/Trevor Person, But Robert's Meltdown Over It Would Be Fun.

Fri, 10 Apr 2026 21:09:10 GMT

A couple more questions about The Goes Wrong Show I've been asked on Tumblr!

Anonymous: what sort of (modern) music do you think robert and/or chris enjoy? i find them both hard to pin down music taste wise! i agree that robert seems like a classical music type of guy, but does he have any guilty pleasure pop music when nobody is looking?

Interesting question! I think they’re both classical music fans, but, thinking about the modern side:

Robert: Bombastic songs, lively songs, anything that tells a story; I’ve got Thin Lizzy’s 'Whiskey in the Jar' stuck in my head right now, and I think he’d enjoy it. He doesn't confine himself to a particular genre and likes some songs you might not expect, but he does have certain prejudices, e.g. not thinking of videogame music as 'real music'. I definitely think he listens to some pop, but not guiltily; he'll blast 'Call Me Maybe' or 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' from his dressing room while the other drama society members go '????' at each other. He broadly favours music from the seventies and earlier, but he does still enjoy later releases. Such as, naturally, 'Stacy's Mom'.

Chris: We already know that Chris's favourite Christmas song is 'White Christmas', and from that I'm inclined to extrapolate that he tends to prefer music on the slow and sedate side. Music from the sixties and earlier; unlike Robert, he's unwilling to give more modern music a chance.

kestrel-wylde: Your thoughts on the robchristrev dynamic? I've been chewing on it an awful lot - in either platonic/romantic/loathful contexts

The interesting thing about Robert and Trevor's dynamic is the fact that Robert doesn't respect Trevor's work - he considers stage management inherently less worthwhile than acting - while simultaneously trusting and relying on Trevor completely. When Robert catches fire in Peter Pan, he calls for Trevor in a panic; when Robert asks for his line in Haversham Manor, he faithfully repeats Trevor's response without considering for a moment that it might not be the line, and he's shocked and outraged to realise it isn't.

Chris also has a bit of a tendency to take Trevor's work for granted, come to think of it, piling tasks on him that aren't in his job description.

So I think an interesting thing you could do with the Robert/Chris/Trevor dynamic is rip Trevor out from under their feet: if he's injured or otherwise out of action somehow, it could force Chris and Robert to realise how much they rely on him. Chris will feel bad for taking him for granted; Robert will go 'that stupid man, getting injured when he knows we need him', because good luck getting Robert to acknowledge he's in the wrong about anything.

Possibly Chris and Robert team up and attempt to nurse Trevor back to health. The experience is extremely stressful for poor Trevor, who, on top of trying to recover, now has to put up with Chris and Robert constantly arguing over the best way to help.

Finally, some thoughts on how each of them would react if the other two were in a relationship:

- If Chris and Trevor started dating, Robert would be furiously jealous and would quite possibly start trying to steal Chris away.

- If Chris and Robert started dating, Trevor's reaction would very much be 'oh, Christ, I'm going to have to clean up the mess when this whole thing explodes, aren't I?'

- If Trevor and Robert started dating, Chris would be confused and upset and wouldn't understand why. He might start trying to argue that it's inappropriate to have romantic relationships within the society.

- If all three of them start dating, God help us all.

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The Sole 'Robert' At The End Of The First Message Cracks Me Up Every Time I See It.

Wed, 08 Apr 2026 09:30:02 GMT

Part two of my responses to questions about The Goes Wrong Show from Tumblr!

solspeak: What elements of Robert's character/voice do you try to keep in mind when you're writing him? Why are you so weird about Robert? Are these two things connected? robert

The main things I bear in mind when writing fanfiction about Robert Grove:

- Robert is always acting. The world's a stage, and he takes that very literally. He's always looking for opportunities to give some sort of performance to some sort of audience, in the theatre or out of it.

- Robert is always correct. Whatever he says, no matter how ridiculous, he says it with perfect confidence. He'll also refuse to take the blame for anything, because that would mean admitting that his actions were wrong, and he is, as mentioned, always correct.

- Robert enjoys giving advice and assistance. His efforts to help will probably make things worse, but he's convinced he knows how to solve your issue, and good luck persuading him otherwise.

- Robert is a very genuine and serious person, but he's not an honest person, which is an interesting combination. He says what he means, he's not in the habit of playing pranks (I'm struggling to think of times he even makes jokes), and, when he lies, it tends to be either because he's panicking or because he believes the lie is necessary for the greater good. (Not everyone will agree with Robert's interpretation of 'the greater good'. For example, he believes that, for the sake of theatre, he should play the lead role at any cost.)

- Following on from that thought, Robert expects other people to be genuine in return; he's a trusting person, I think! He doesn't necessarily expect them to be competent, but he expects them to mean what they say.

- Robert's speech is always a little too grand. He doesn't speak like a person; he speaks like someone acting from a script. His choice of phrasing tends to be on the elaborate or old-fashioned side, and it's rare for him to hesitate or stumble over his words.

- Robert is selfish and has questionable morals, but it's rare for him to act maliciously. When he hurts people, it tends to be because the consequences of his words or actions simply did not occur to him, often because he was too focused on his goal to consider that he'd be hurting someone in the process. The people around him end up just as hurt, of course! But, for characterisation purposes, I think it's important to remember that Robert isn't a cackling villain; he's an inconsiderate friend.

- Although Robert is often rude in his thoughtless bluntness, he thinks of himself as polite, so he’ll follow surface-level rules of politeness like saying 'please’ and 'thank you’.

- Robert is a slightly lonely person, although he may not consciously acknowledge it, and enjoys the company of the drama society.

- Robert is extremely goddamn weird about Chris. Are you writing a Robert/Chris fic? No? Doesn't matter. He is still thinking about Chris two hundred percent of the time.

- Fundamentally, all of Robert's actions proceed logically from the belief that nothing is more important than acting. He's very weird, but he's weird in a way that makes internal sense.

As for why I'm so weird about Robert... well. In part, it's because he's such a fun character! He's dramatic and ridiculous and in-your-face in a way that I find an absolute blast to write, and I have a lot of fun exploring his insane dynamic with Chris.

In part, it's... I'll be honest: it's because Robert Grove, as played by Henry Lewis, is ridiculously hot. I've always had a weakness for a large, imposing man with a loud and aggressive persona, and he's extremely handsome on top of that. The first episode of The Goes Wrong Show I watched was 'The Lodge', which features one of Robert's most attractive roles, and my two main reactions were 'this is very silly and pretty fun' and 'this show contains the hottest man in the world???'

In conclusion, Robert Grove is hot as hell and twice as unbearable, and I find him deeply compelling.

the-red-thread-that-strangles: How is the practice that somehow was scheduled on Valentine's Day going?

It sounds to me like this is a question for the Cornley Drama Society themselves, so I've sent it their way!

Dennis: We've got a question from someone called... the-red-thread-that-strangles? Bit violent. Um, she wants to know how the Valentine's Day rehearsal is going.
Chris: Fine. It's going fine, obviously. We're professionals; I don't know why you'd expect anything else.
Robert: You're being needlessly defensive, Chris; all she asked was how it's going. Thank you for your interest, Ms Strangles. It's going very well.
Chris: We're professionals. It's going very professionally.
Dennis: Annie kissed everyone. And Max.
Chris: In a – in a professional fashion.
Dennis: I liked it. I thought it was nice. And I made everyone Valentine's Day cards.
Robert: Absolutely illegible.
Dennis: But you knew what they meant, right? Because you know what day it is.
Robert: I suppose that's undeniable.
Chris: (very reluctantly) The cards were a nice touch.

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A Question Still Awaiting My Response Is 'Why Are You So Weird About Robert?'

Tue, 07 Apr 2026 09:17:36 GMT

I put out a call on my Tumblr for people to ask me questions about the Goes Wrong Show; here's the first batch of my responses!

enter_doctor_frog: what's robert's ideas about musicals? does he like them, would he ever put one on, does he look down upon them, etc

By beautiful coincidence, I was thinking about Robert’s attitude to musicals just before I received this question.

I think Robert likes musicals! My instinct is that he has a slight preference for classic rather than contemporary theatre, but he enjoys both, and he’s not particularly snobbish about genre; he sees value in theatre in all its forms. He’s happy to embrace Peter Pan being a pantomime, for example, whereas Chris insists on presenting it as a Serious Adult Play.

(I think Chris does look down upon musicals; he’s occasionally willing to include a musical number, but I suspect he does it with a pained look. I headcanon that Chris wrote The Spirit of Christmas himself, which might seem strange when I also think he doesn't like musicals, but this is why it's a bad musical! Most of the songs delay the plot rather than moving it forward, because Chris has no respect for the art of the musical; he just thinks 'give each character a song, done.')

Therefore, Robert would absolutely put a musical on. In fact, he’d probably try to write the songs himself, and his castmates would desperately have to prevent him; the results would not be good.

Anonymous: if robert got a persona 5 calling card, how do you think he and the rest of the society would react?

Oh, interesting question! I think Robert would be outraged by the aspersions the card cast on his character, but I don’t think he’d be worried about it; he wouldn’t really expect the Phantom Thieves to succeed in stealing his heart.

Chris, on the other hand, would worry a lot; he’d lie awake, wondering whether Robert’s personality is suddenly going to change. In many ways, it would probably be more convenient! And yet the thought bothers him in ways he can’t pin down.

mygoeswrongblog: Robert is invited to a halloween costume party: What is he wearing and how does he want everyone to react? (bonus if you wanna think about how people would actually react)

Robert dresses as a famous stage actor or playwright for Hallowe'en, and he responds with absolute scorn if anyone asks what his costume is; he’s obviously Richard Burton. Everyone goes ‘how were we supposed to know that?? you’re just wearing normal clothes!’ with the exception of Dennis, who sees Robert and immediately goes 'oh, nice Richard Burton costume.’

mygoeswrongblog: Do you think Robert likes to gamble?

I don’t think Robert habitually gambles; he doesn’t seek out opportunities to gamble. However, if you invite him to play a game with financial stakes, he will promptly lose all his money to you.

mygoeswrongblog: What sorta thing do you think Robert likes to listen to if anything?

I think Robert mainly listens to classical music and audio dramas. The fact that he did a show on the radio makes me think he’s a radio listener.

mygoeswrongblog: Do you have any idea what Robert's favourite play is?

Robert's favourite play is Summer Once Again, a self-penned masterpiece tragically cut short in its first performance. (I firmly believe that Robert wrote Summer Once Again himself.)

For plays by other people: I think he likes both classic and modern theatre, but I think his favourite is likely something Shakespearean. Maybe something on the dense and difficult side, like King Lear, or a comedy that he takes bizarrely seriously. He puts on Much Ado About Nothing but insists on playing it like he's playing Hamlet.

mygoeswrongblog: What do you think Robert's driving motivation is?

Robert is driven, at all times, to put on a performance and get a warm reception from his audience. When I say 'at all times', I mean at all times. If you're in bed with Robert Grove, he's still thinking of it as putting on a performance for you, his audience.

Whether Robert is on the stage or off it, he's always in the actor's mindset; he is overwhelmingly, all-encompassingly passionate about theatre. Theatre's a significant aspect of all the characters' lives, but theatre is Robert's entire life. The only other significant interest he canonically has (or the only one I can think of, at least) is teaching, and most of the teaching he does is teaching others to act: leading the Cornley Youth Theatre, writing acting books, running acting courses.

It’s only just hit me that my 'Robert likes to cook’ headcanon (which is admittedly based on very little; he mentioned that he likes to make crêpes on Christmas Day, and I took that and ran with it) also fits into his love of performing: cooking a meal is a performance, and then you serve it to your audience and get their reactions!

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And Only Two Of Them Feature Robert Grove. Which Is Admittedly Fifty Percent Of The Dreams Here.

Sat, 28 Mar 2026 13:44:20 GMT

Dream roundup time! It's only been three weeks since the last one, but I've had some convoluted dreams lately.

( Dreams from March. )

Finally: I think I dreamt last night that Robert of The Goes Wrong Show turned into a small aeroplane and Chris turned into an engine? They were indoors - in a restaurant or something, rather than a hangar - so it was a very small aeroplane: still larger than a person, certainly, but able to fit in a room. It was strangely intimate, because Chris was nestled against Robert's aeroplane 'neck', where the forward edge of the wing met the fuselage, and rumbling/purring.

I am now weirdly emotionally invested in aeroplane/engine slash, and I don't know what to do with this feeling.

Wait, did this happen because I was talking yesterday about what it would be like to be next to Robert Grove on a flight?

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When The Plane Landed, He Would Invoice Me For My Attendance.

Fri, 27 Mar 2026 12:05:30 GMT

Here are a handful of little things I've posted elsewhere recently!

Firstly, I received an anonymous ask about writing on Tumblr, which I thought I'd share here with my response:

How do you write for a variety of fandoms, especially ones you're new to? I can't do that without obsessively reviewing the source material, and consequently don't get any writing done. I want your ability!

My writing process is essentially:

- get into a canon
- devour the canon until I have a good sense of the characters’ voices
- get a fic idea
- OKAY NOW WRITE WRITE WRITE, WRITE BEFORE IT’S GONE

The trouble is that, although there’s a period in which I can hear the characters’ voices clearly, that sense of voice fades very quickly! I have to get the fic written in the narrow window in which I have the characters’ voices in my head, or I’ve missed my opportunity and the fic will forever languish unfinished.

Because writing fanfiction is such a time-sensitive thing for me, my fics tend to be short, and the writing period is often brief and intense; a lot of my fics go from conception to completion over just a few days. Some of my writing takes longer, but, the longer it takes, the greater the risk that I’ll lose my ability to write for those characters. I’ll sometimes go back to a shelved fic and finish it the next time I revisit the canon.

I hope you’re able to get more writing done! I don’t know exactly what things you’re aiming to write, but, if you’re struggling with long things, I can suggest giving shorter fics a try. Everyone’s different, of course, but that’s what works for me!

Secondly, abyssal_sylph tagged me for a meme on Tumblr: The last fictional character in your photo library is the person you gonna sit next to on a 8 hour flight!

My reaction was very much 'oh, God, I hope it’s not Robert Grove, please don’t let it be Robert Gr—'

(GIF by CornleyPolyTechnicDramaSociety on Tenor)

It’s Robert Grove, of course, and I am his captive audience. I suppose I’d better brace myself for eight hours of him performing monologues at me and expecting applause. At least the experience might cure me of my terrible attraction to him. (Let’s be honest: it will probably make it worse.)

Finally, a tiny Goes Wrong Show ficlet, in response to a prompt from JennyC on Discord: Robert's point of view after Summer Once Again.

( The Goes Wrong Show, Robert and Dennis, 250 words, set after Summer Once Again. )

If you have any Goes Wrong ficlet requests of your own, send them my way! I am, of course, going to be biased towards suggestions involving Robert; I am willing to have a crack at non-Robert-centric concepts, but I can't guarantee that Robert won't sneak in there.

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I Can't Help It If I Have Immaculate Taste.

Thu, 26 Mar 2026 10:41:24 GMT

Every so often, I post an analysis of how I chose my recent fic titles! I wasn't expecting to be posting another roundup only three months after the last, but I've launched into this year with a startling quantity of writing.

In reverse chronological order, my fic titles so far this year:

( Rambling about why I chose fic titles. )

My last couple of Goes Wrong Show fics have been less popular than my others on AO3; it's a small fandom, so nothing gets a huge readership, but the drop from around fifteen kudos to two kudos still caught my attention. I'm not panicking about this - they got a lovely response here on Dreamwidth, so I'm happy! - but it did make me wonder whether there was a reason. Did people drift away from the fandom after Christmas Carol Goes Wrong ended its run in theatres? Did I mess up the summaries somehow?

It took me an embarrassingly long time to realise the answer: my last two fics heavily reference Robert banging Chris's mother, and it simply had not occurred to me that this may not be a selling point for the majority of Robert/Chris shippers. I forget sometimes that not everyone is as delighted by this as me.

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Fanfiction: The Verge (The Goes Wrong Show, Robert/Chris)

Tue, 24 Mar 2026 23:25:21 GMT

Yet more Robert/Chris Goes Wrong fanfiction! And, yet again, I have managed to sneak Robert banging Chris's mother in here. It's my favourite thing.

Title: The Verge
Fandom: The Goes Wrong Show
Rating: 14
Pairing: Robert/Chris, with some Robert/Celia
Wordcount: 3,500
Summary: Chris steels himself. “Do you ever feel something might... happen between us?”

( The Verge )

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Unhand Me, You Fiend.

Sun, 22 Mar 2026 13:21:57 GMT

By wordcount, The Goes Wrong Show is now my fifth most written fandom of all time, even discounting the fifty-plus Goes Wrong fills I wrote for the Three-Sentence Ficathon. This is an insane development; I started writing for this fandom two and a half months ago. Everything else in the top five is something I've been into for a decade or more.

I wonder what's made me fall so hard into writing for this fandom; slapstick stage plays are not my usual fandom fare! My best guess is that it's a combination of factors:

- There's enough Goes Wrong canon for me to get to know and care about the characters, but, at the same time, there is not enough Goes Wrong canon to satisfy me, so I'm uncontrollably driven to create more.

- In particular, there's very little Goes Wrong canon that shows the characters offstage! There's enough to get me interested in what happens offstage, and a couple of fascinatingly insane canonical details about the characters' personal lives (I am never going to be over the fact that Robert has canonically slept with both Chris and Dennis's mothers), but their offstage lives are left as a largely blank canvas that I can't resist painting on. There's a very obvious stretch of unexplored territory, and that sort of thing is always going to invite fanworks.

- Although this is a small fandom and my fics for it don't generally get a large readership, it's got enough life and passion in it to feel like I'm sharing with an enthusiastic small community, rather than dropping my work into a void. I've received a lot of really lovely comments, which have been very encouraging ♥

- I find Robert and Chris's voices very easy to get into. They're both middle-class, English and inclined towards slightly pretentious and/or old-fashioned phrasing, and, let's be honest, so am I.

- I'm very attracted to Robert Grove (as played by Henry Lewis), which is a fun novelty; it's pretty rare for me to find anyone seriously attractive. As a consequence, my writing about him has a refreshingly genuine horniness that I hadn't realised was lacking in a lot of my shipfic! It's very easy for me to write about Chris being attracted to Robert, and to believe wholeheartedly in that attraction, however unhappy Chris might be about it.

- Robert Grove is just a very fun character to write. I think a large part of it is as simple as that. He's loud, he's imposing, he's larger-than-life, he blithely causes problems for everyone, and everything he says or does is ridiculous. Plus he's straightforward in a way that proves extremely handy when writing shipfic; I've often had to struggle with characters who refuse to acknowledge their own feelings or dance endlessly around each other, so it's refreshing to write a character who will decide 'we should have sex' and then make that opinion very clear.

- It's been a long time since I last got heavily into a comedy fandom, and I'd forgotten how much fun it is to write comedy!

I'm so glad I was introduced to this stupid show. This is the best time I've had in a fandom in years.

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Fanfiction: Mixed Beans (The Goes Wrong Show, Robert/Chris)

Fri, 20 Mar 2026 23:48:03 GMT

I think this is the worst title I've ever given a fic.

Fun fact: I've now officially posted an entire quarter of the Robert/Chris fanfiction on AO3. I think this means there's not enough Robert/Chris fanfiction on AO3.

Title: Mixed Beans
Fandom: The Goes Wrong Show
Rating: 14
Pairing: Robert/Chris, with references to Robert/Celia
Wordcount: 2,700
Summary: Robert books a romantic getaway with Chris's mother. There is a misunderstanding.

( Mixed Beans )

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Fanfiction: Ad Libitum (The Goes Wrong Show, Robert/Chris)

Wed, 18 Mar 2026 12:44:00 GMT

Yet more fanfiction for The Goes Wrong Show!

Here's a game you can play: see if you can guess what Chris named the main characters in his play before you read this, on the assumption that Chris just asked himself 'what names do gay men have?'

Title: Ad Libitum
Fandom: The Goes Wrong Show
Rating: 14
Pairing: Robert/Chris
Wordcount: 1,800
Summary: Chris and Robert play lovers on stage. Things do not go as planned.

( Ad Libitum )

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That Was Not Naturalistic.

Tue, 10 Mar 2026 19:25:07 GMT

I dreamt last night that I followed Robert Grove of The Goes Wrong Show into a bathroom stall in a shopping centre and attempted to solicit sex from him. He just stared at me and left. I can't believe I was rejected when my approach was so normal and irresistible.

As a consequence of this, I have spent a concerning amount of the day thinking about sex with Robert Grove.

My first instinct was that Robert would be a selfish lover, because, well, he's a selfish person. However! What Robert really wants to do, at all times, is put on a performance and get a warm reception from the audience. In bed, you are his audience, and his main interest is getting a good response from you.

This means he will pay attention to your pleasure in bed! If you're not visibly and audibly enjoying yourself, he's not satisfied. Unfortunately, he is ungracious about this; if your response is not to his satisfaction, he will call you a philistine and sulk.

While Robert is likely of the opinion that thrusting harder equals better sex, you can probably get him to do just about anything if you frame it as a role you'd like him to perform. He is willing to perform oral sex, but will grumble that he prefers speaking roles.

My extremely inexpert assessment of the other members of the Cornley Drama Society in bed:

Annie: Great! Bold and enthusiastic, invested in both of you having a good time, introduces you to some fun new fetishes.

Sandra: Sandra and Robert are both very self-absorbed, but, unlike Robert - who seeks to bolster his ego through your reactions - I think Sandra's mainly interested in her own pleasure in bed. She knows what she's doing, though, which is more than can be said for much of the society. You'll probably still have a good time.

Max: Clueless but enthusiastic. Is, like Robert, very invested in you responding well. Probably not bad overall.

Dennis: Clueless and terrified. He's either dreadful or, much to the surprise of both of you, turns out to be the best sex you've ever had.

Vanessa: Has drawn up an agenda for your sexual encounter, assigning time slots for each specific act, and will become very stressed out if you deviate from it. She'd probably be good if she relaxed a little! She will never relax.

Trevor: I have no idea what Trevor is like in bed, and I find it slightly alarming to contemplate. If it's anything like the way he drives, you are in physical danger.

Jonathan: N/A. You will never sleep with Jonathan. You can try! But somehow the two of you will always be prevented from actually performing the deed. He's probably the best lover in the drama society, but you'll never know.

Chris: Terrible. The worst of the lot. He will try! He will fail. Do not sleep with Chris Bean.

I mean, you can if you want to. It's not that bad; he's just deeply repressed in a way that is unlikely to mesh well with 'hey, it's time for a lot of intimacy and physical contact.' The experience is likely to be disappointing, rather than traumatic. But it's going to be so disappointing.

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Hey! Poop!

Sat, 07 Mar 2026 13:20:50 GMT

Here are some dreams I've had lately!

( Dreams from December to March. )

On a final and unrelated note: I forgot to mention the most important part of Lost Records: Bloom & Rage!

At one point, protagonist Swann comes across a little pile of rabbit droppings. The game gives you the opportunity to point this out to Swann's friends with the dialogue option 'Hey! Poop!'

I did not take this option, because I thought Swann's friends might find it offputting. My real-life friends are a different matter. Tem and I have been saying 'Hey! Poop!' to each other at every opportunity ever since.

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Fanfiction: Chekhov's Knife (The Goes Wrong Show, Robert/Chris)

Thu, 05 Mar 2026 12:36:56 GMT

Right! I posted an entry about things that weren't The Goes Wrong Show, and everyone's very proud of me. Time to reward myself with more Goes Wrong fanfiction.

Title: Chekhov's Knife
Fandom: The Goes Wrong Show
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Robert/Chris
Wordcount: 2,700
Summary: Robert has the perfect plan for making things up to Chris after the Chekhov's Gun incident. Well, maybe 'perfect' isn't the right word.
Warnings: S... sort of self-harm? It's pretty atypical as self-harm goes, but this is a fic about Robert going 'well, I've injured Chris; obviously our relationship will be fixed if I can get Chris to injure me in return.'

( Chekhov's Knife )

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What Was Your Favourite Part About Cocaine?

Thu, 05 Mar 2026 10:48:40 GMT

Okay, I'm going to be very brave and make a post that's not about The Goes Wrong Show. Let's talk about videogames! You wouldn't know it from my determination to talk about Robert Grove five hundred percent of the time, but I have played a couple of interesting games lately.

The games in question are Silent Hill f and Lost Records: Bloom & Rage. They're substantially different in gameplay and tone, but they're both on the theme of 'weird, intense, supernatural coming-of-age stories about young women'.

( Thoughts on Silent Hill f. )

( Thoughts on Lost Records: Bloom & Rage. )

Okay! That's your allotted entry about other things. Let's get back to working on my fifteenth Goes Wrong fic.

Apparently I posted fourteen Goes Wrong fics over the course of two months? Not counting the fifty-two Goes Wrong fills I wrote for the Three-Sentence Ficathon? I'm personally responsible for over 20% of the Chris Bean/Robert Grove fics on AO3. This might be the most severely and swiftly a fandom has ever eaten me.

I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to sustain my Goes Wrong illness, but I'm having a great time while it lasts!

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Fanfiction: By Proxy (The Goes Wrong Show, Robert/Chris)

Sat, 28 Feb 2026 19:54:48 GMT

I'm constantly delighted by how bonkers the dynamic between Chris and Robert is. Robert had a relationship with Chris's mother; Chris had a relationship with Robert's sister; are you two sure you're not just trying to sleep with each other by proxy?

Anyway, here's a fic about that.

Title: By Proxy
Fandom: The Goes Wrong Show (technically the televised version of A Christmas Carol Goes Wrong)
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Robert/Chris, past Chris/Robert's sister, past Robert/Celia
Wordcount: 2,100
Summary: “I wanted to speak to you about your dalliance with my sister.”

( By Proxy )

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No Theatrical Production Is Safe For Me To Post About.

Fri, 27 Feb 2026 10:25:57 GMT

Death Note: The Musical is coming to London this summer, which is pretty exciting news if you're me!

'Wow, is Riona posting an entry about something that's not The Goes Wrong Show?' - bad news, I'm afraid.

Tem: Are you looking forward to seeing your boy Light Yagami?
Rei: Played by Robert Grove.
Riona: That would be a bold casting decision, but I'd watch it.
Tem: Death Note Goes Wrong. Their 'prop Death Note' is an actual Death Note. They need to write in it during the show, so they just use the names of the people who bought tickets. At the end, they're going 'wow, this was our most successful performance ever, can't wait for the applause,' and the lights go up to reveal the entire audience dead, with Ryuk sitting in the front row and applauding.
Rei: They consider writing Jonathan's name in the Death Note, because it's the only way he'll be included in the play, but they decide against it because he's not part of the audience. That's the only reason he survives.
Riona: Or they write his name in the Death Note, but he survives because they misspell it.

Robert Grove also cannot be entrusted with a Death Note if he knows it's real, of course. If Robert sees an opportunity to secure the role he desires, he will take that opportunity immediately and think about it later, if at all.

Basically, Robert has no particular desire for anyone's death, but he will one hundred percent kill people if it's a straightforward way to get what he wants. I give it a week before he kills Chris in order to get the lead role and then goes '...hmm, I might regret that later.'

Dennis might actually be the safest member of the Cornley Drama Society to entrust with a Death Note. He wouldn't use it with the intention of killing anyone. He would almost certainly forget it kills people and start using it like a normal notebook, which is risky, but if he writes anyone's name he's probably going to misspell it.

Aaaaand then Robert would wrestle the notebook off him and use it to kill Chris so he can have the lead. Let's just not give the Cornley Drama Society a Death Note at all.

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Max Was On Almost No Votes And Then Suddenly Jumped Ahead, So Robert Might Point The Finger At Him.

Wed, 25 Feb 2026 18:49:20 GMT

This post will consist of various silly Goes Wrong Show-related things I've posted to Tumblr recently!

I posted a poll to Tumblr, asking people for their favourite member of the Cornley Drama Society. The poll closed at 149 votes with Trevor firmly in first place (27.5%), followed by Chris (21.5%), Max (13.4%), Vanessa (10.7%), Annie and Dennis (8.7%), Jonathan (3.4%), Robert and Sandra (2.7%), and Lucy (0.7%).

(I don't think Lucy is an official member of the drama society, but I created this poll to see how things had changed in the three years since personinthepalace asked the same question, so I thought I'd better make sure I had exactly the same options.)

I'm surprised and a little wounded by my beloved Robert's unpopularity! I'm just going to have to love him hard enough for everyone. (This will not satisfy him.)

Anyway, I wrote a little snippet of the characters reacting to the results:

( The Cornley Drama Society react to my character popularity poll. )

Another poll I've contemplated recently was this one from questions-about-blorbos: Would you let your blorbo tie you up and do whatever they wanted with you?

My immediate reaction to this was 'oh, GOD.' Awful!! I think the only one of my blorbos who I actually find sexually attractive is Robert Grove of The Goes Wrong Show, but any sexual encounter with him is guaranteed to be regrettable, and involving bondage would be catastrophic. He ties me up and then gets distracted by an argument with Chris and then rehearses without rest for several days straight, and I am left tied to his bed for seventy-two hours.

Whilst I currently answer blorbo-related polls with Robert in mind, on account of being actively insane about him, the character I usually call on for these polls is Light Yagami of Death Note. Also a terrible idea to let him tie you up! I'm not sexually interested in him, he's not going to be sexually interested in me, and, perhaps most crucially: if he does want to tie me up, it's going to be because he wants to either kill me or frame me for murder. All things considered, I'd rather he didn't.

Finally: for Valentine's Day, I posted a Valentine's message from Robert Grove.

Please accept this as an extremely belated token of my affection for all of you.

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Fanfiction: Finding the Way (The Goes Wrong Show)

Tue, 24 Feb 2026 10:17:04 GMT

According to a short in-character promotional video from a while ago, Robert and Chris once got stranded in the Amazon rainforest for several days, and I do love it when characters are stranded together!

Title: Finding the Way
Fandom: The Goes Wrong Show
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: slight Robert/Chris
Wordcount: 3,000
Summary: Chris and Robert are stranded in the Amazon rainforest together. It's not a great experience.

( Finding the Way )

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Apparently This Is What I Do When I Run Out Of Fic Ideas.

Sat, 21 Feb 2026 12:11:34 GMT

It can be a real challenge to characterise the fictional members of the Cornley Drama Society, given that they spend so much of Goes Wrong canon playing other characters. Therefore, I thought I'd see if I could put together a character profile of Robert Grove.

'Are you going to write characterisation guides for the entire drama society?' No. I'll be honest: I just wanted an excuse to talk at length about Robert Grove, because he's perfect.

( Robert Grove: a character summary. )

Robert's best quality as a friend: he will give generously of his time and effort to fix your problem, or at least to fix what he has decided is your problem. This... may not actually be helpful, but it will at least be well-intentioned.

Robert's worst quality as a friend: he will sleep with your mother, insult your acting and throw you under the bus to play the Dane, and he won't even understand why you're annoyed with him afterwards.

In short, Robert is an egotistic and outspoken man with a passion for theatre, an intense sincerity, a vast capacity for self-absorption, a need to be important, a desire for company and an absolute lack of self-awareness. He's relentlessly loud and dramatic. He will refuse to apologise if he doesn't think he's in the wrong, and he will never think he's in the wrong. He's a nightmare. I love him.

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Fanfiction: Cast and Crew (The Goes Wrong Show)

Thu, 19 Feb 2026 23:12:02 GMT

I keep thinking 'okay, I must be out of Goes Wrong ideas now' and then writing more! After seeing The Play That Goes Wrong, I'm really curious about how awkward things were between Annie and the rest of the drama society afterwards.

Title: Cast and Crew
Fandom: The Play That Goes Wrong
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 1,800
Summary: In The Murder at Haversham Manor, Annie finds her calling; she wants to be an actress. After the events of the play, though, her relationship with the drama society might be a little strained.

( Cast and Crew )

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Fanfiction: Backup Heating (The Goes Wrong Show, everyone/everyone)

Tue, 17 Feb 2026 19:54:35 GMT

In the stage version of Christmas Carol Goes Wrong, Chris canonically refuses to keep the Cornley Playhouse heated, and everyone complains about how cold it is. It seemed like a great excuse to write self-indulgent fanfiction!

As this is based on the 2025 stage version of Christmas Carol Goes Wrong, be aware that some details may not match up with the original 2017 television version.

The title's not great, but the only other thing I could think of was Baby, It's Cold Inside, which would be considerably worse.

Title: Backup Heating
Fandom: The Goes Wrong Show (well, technically Christmas Carol Goes Wrong)
Rating: G
Pairing: slight everyone/everyone
Wordcount: 1,600
Summary: During rehearsals for A Christmas Carol, Chris won't allow anyone to use the heating. Clearly, the Cornley Drama Society is just going to have to huddle for warmth.

( Backup Heating )

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I Initially Forgot To Include A Title, Which Is At Least Appropriate For The Fandom.

Mon, 16 Feb 2026 10:50:49 GMT

The 2026 Three-Sentence Ficathon is now at an end! Still open to fills, but there are no new prompts being posted. Here's an eighth and (probably) final roundup of my fills; once again, all of these are for The Goes Wrong Show.

( Assorted ficlets for the Goes Wrong Show, 1,400 words total. )

And that's the end of this Three-Sentence Ficathon! It's my favourite fandom event of the year, and this year in particular I've had an incredible time with it. I ended up writing fifty-six fills, totalling just over ten thousand words; fifty-two of those fills were for The Goes Wrong Show, because I have a problem.

Thank you to everyone for your prompts and comments and fills! Thank you in particular to anyone who read my Goes Wrong Show fics without being familiar with the series; a couple of people even checked the show out because of my fills, which absolutely delighted me. My main goals were to have a good time and spread Goes Wrong propaganda, and I think I've succeeded in both.

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