Riona (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rionaleonhart) wrote2013-11-09 01:18 pm
rionaleonhart) wrote2013-11-09 01:18 pm
Fanfiction: With These Signs Upon Our Souls, Chapter Four (FFVIII/FFXIII)
I'M THE SLOWEST WRITER ON THE PLANET. Here is Chapter Four of the fic I, you know, started posting back in April and started writing a year and a half ago. I hope someone's still interested!
Title: With These Signs Upon Our Souls, Chapter Four
Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII/Final Fantasy XIII
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 3,300 (this chapter; 8,600 cumulative)
Summary: The exam brief is simple enough: protect the fal'Cie from the Timber resistance. Squad B are about to get the mission as wrong as humanly possible.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Winhill isn’t exactly accessible. There are no trains or roads there; it’s cut off completely by mountains. No ships run there from Balamb. Rinoa has assured them that there are ships from Timber, though, and so they’re on a train there, Selphie looking out of the window – despite the fact that they’re in the undersea tunnel – and humming happily.
“I love trains,” she says, wistfully. “Like half the reason I took that exam was ’cause I wanted to see the SeeD private cabin.”
Quistis stifles a laugh. “Well, you’re not missing too much.”
Squall is only half-listening, his mind elsewhere, but he still tenses when he hears footsteps approaching from behind – no GF; still getting used to magic; gunblade under seat, need at least three seconds to retrieve it – before he registers that it’s just Rinoa.
“Thought you looked pretty lonely, sitting here on your own,” she says, dropping down onto the seat opposite him.
“I’m fine,” he says.
“It’s silly, isn’t it?” she asks, sitting back. “There’s space here for six people to sit facing each other. And instead it’s me and Seifer back there, Quistis and Selphie over there, and then you and Zell off by yourselves.”
“I’m fine,” he says again, but something in what she just said makes him glance along the carriage.
She’s right; Zell is sitting on his own. He’s not talking or getting pissed off or picking fights with the air; he’s just staring out of the window at the blackness of the tunnel.
Rinoa lowers her voice. “That’s actually why I came over to talk to you.”
He looks at her. “Zell?”
“He’s been quiet since he went to visit his mom. You hadn’t noticed? I mean, I haven’t known him for long, but it’s not exactly hard to tell he’s upset.”
Squall hadn’t noticed anything. Now that he thinks about it, though, things have seemed quieter since Zell came back from his house. “What do you expect me to do about it?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know, look out for him? He respects you. I think you could help.”
“It sounds like you’re looking out for him already.”
“I can’t always watch out for him,” Rinoa says. She lowers her voice even further, with a mock-furtive glance over Squall’s shoulder. “Someone’s gotta keep Seifer in line, right?”
Squall looks over at Zell again. It’s strange to see him so subdued. But it’s not like Squall’s going to be able to help.
“Just go and sit with him,” Rinoa suggests. “He’ll feel better if he’s not alone.”
Or maybe he wants some time alone to think. Either way, Squall’s not going to be able to cheer him up; it’s just not something he’s good at. “He’ll be fine.”
Rinoa frowns a little. “Hmm. Well, okay; you’ve known him longer than I have. But I’d still keep an eye on him, just in case.”
“I’m not responsible for Zell.”
“That’s a pretty cold thing to say,” Rinoa says, after a moment.
Squall looks out into the darkness. “Whatever.”
There’s a pause, and then the rustling of Rinoa standing up and footsteps as she makes her way back up the carriage. Squall doesn’t turn to look.
When the train eventually pulls into Timber, he stands and turns, and pauses. He’d assumed that Rinoa would have gone back to sit with Seifer, but she’s with Zell. The two of them are laughing about something, so maybe Zell did just need company.
Rinoa was probably a lot better at cheering him up than Squall would have been, though. Why didn’t she just go to talk to him in the first place? Why try to push him onto Squall?
Things feel a little more normal now that Zell’s smiling again, at least.
When Squall raises his head, he sees that Seifer is watching the two of them as well.
-
Rinoa, it turns out, neglected to mention that the ships to Winhill don’t run every day.
“That’s very unfortunate timing,” Quistis says, looking over the departures at Timber. “Still, I think it’s best to travel by water. We’ll need to find somewhere to stay.”
Seifer gives her an incredulous look. “You’re planning to be stuck here for a day and a half?”
“I don’t imagine going by foot will get us there any faster.”
Seifer shakes his head and gets to his feet. “Do what you want. I’m walking.”
“Don’t be foolish,” Quistis says. “You’re planning to cross those mountains on your own? Do you even have any supplies?”
“Thank you for your concern, Instructor, but I can make my own decisions.”
“I can cover your room for the night, if that’s the issue.” She shrugs, with a half-smile. “One way or another, I suppose I won’t need my gil for much longer.”
“The issue,” Seifer says, “is that I’m tired of travelling with a bunch of idiots, but thanks for the offer.”
“What are you doing?” Rinoa asks.
Seifer glares at her. “What does it sound like?”
“Well, it sounds like you’re being a horrible person,” Rinoa says, folding her arms. “But I know that can’t be right, ’cause I like you, and I’m a great judge of character. So why don’t you tell me what I’m missing?”
Seifer opens his mouth, then closes it again, then looks away from her, back at the departures board. “I just don’t want to sit around waiting.”
“Okay,” Rinoa says. “Then I’ll go with you.”
He gives her a hard look. “Oh? Don’t you want to stay here with Dincht?”
“Hey, whoa, what?” Zell asks.
“Are you serious?” Rinoa asks. “You’re throwing a tantrum because I talked to someone?”
Seifer shakes his head. “Forget it,” he says. “I don’t need help. And I definitely don’t need people dragging me back.”
“I don’t need you being a big jerk,” Rinoa says, “but I’ll still go with you, ’cause that’s what friends are for.”
“Do what you want,” Seifer mutters, stalking past her. “But don’t expect me to help out if you run into a Grendel.”
“You don’t mean that!” Rinoa calls after him, but he’s already out of the departure lounge and there’s no answer. She sighs.
This might actually be for the best, Squall is thinking. If Seifer clashes with everyone, he’s a danger; the tension he creates might accelerate their l’Cie brands. But something about this makes him uneasy.
“Sorry, guys,” Rinoa says, with a quick smile, “but I’m gonna have to go after him. Don’t think it’s a great idea to leave him on his own. I mean, you’re his friends, aren’t you? You’ll know what he’s like.”
Friends? Squall thinks. (Behind him, Zell breaks into incredulous laughter.) That’s... not exactly how he would have put it.
But he does know what Seifer’s like. He doesn’t know many people, but he knows Seifer. A lot of people in Garden said that Raijin and Fujin were just tools Seifer used to further his bullying, but Squall has seen that Seifer has been calmer under their influence, less prone to dangerous decisions. She’s right; it’s best not to leave him alone.
He nods. “All right.” And then, because she’s a civilian, he adds, “Be careful.”
“Hey, uh,” Zell cuts in, “we’ve all got the same Focus, right? So if you and Seif complete it on your own, is that gonna count for us as well?”
Rinoa pauses, looking thoughtful. “Oh, hey, that’s a good question.”
It’s not a question that had occurred to Squall, and even now that it’s been brought up he doesn’t find himself that curious. Monster or crystal: what difference does it make, ultimately? Neither seems like any sort of life.
Selphie doesn’t seem especially concerned either, although she has a different reason. “Does it really matter? I always thought it’d be kind of cool to be a Cie’th.” She begins lunging around, making demonstrative growling noises. “They can get really strong, you know? And I hear some of them can fly.”
Zell stares wide-eyed at her, looking as if he expects her to turn into a Cie’th and bite his head off then and there.
“It’s certainly possible to complete another person’s Focus for them,” Quistis says after a moment, crossing her arms. “I don’t know whether things change if the person completing the Focus is a l’Cie with that Focus themselves, though. I don’t see why it would make any difference, but there’s an awful lot at stake if we get this wrong.”
Rinoa nods. “I guess I’ll see if I can get him to come back.”
Before she leaves, Rinoa hugs Selphie and Zell and Quistis (Quistis looks slightly taken aback), then taps Squall on the shoulder and says quietly into his ear, “Watch out for Zell, okay?”
-
“I’ve got it!” Selphie exclaims. “Okay, first we break into one of the trains, right?”
“I don’t know about this,” Quistis says.
“One of the trains that’ve been put away for the night, obviously, because otherwise it’s not really breaking in. Or I guess we could just get on a train like normal and sleep there and see where we are when we wake up!”
“Uh,” Zell says, “not that that doesn’t sound like a great idea, but we’re meant to be catching this boat tomorrow, right?”
“That’s the best part: when we wake up, we get to take the train back!”
There’s a pain building in Squall’s head, slowly but steadily. He presses two fingers hard against his scar.
“No,” Quistis says. “I’m sure there must be rooms available somewhere.”
“Oh, you’re no f... oh, hey, whoa.” A soft thud. “Guess I am pretty tired.”
“Selphie?” Zell’s voice. He sounds alarmed, but Squall can’t see his expression, can’t see what’s happened; everything in his field of vision seems to be melting into static. “Selph, you okay?”
“Squall?” Quistis asks.
“Wha? Squall, not you, too!”
Squall is vaguely aware of hitting the flagstones before he passes out.
-
Is this a dream? It feels too real. But it can’t be anything else; the alternative is that Squall has transformed into a completely different person, which seems extremely unlikely.
The person Squall seems to be is a Galbadian soldier, judging by his uniform, travelling through a forest with two others. Squall has never seen any of these people before. There are familiar voices, though, when he concentrates, flashing through his mind: Seifer, angry, asking what the hell’s going on, and a confused but cheerful voice Squall takes a moment to place as Selphie’s.
The Selphie in Squall’s mind apparently thinks that Squall, or at least the guy Squall currently inhabits – ‘Laguna’, according to the other men – is ‘cute’. For an instant, Squall is almost glad he’ll never be a SeeD; at least there’s no chance that this will ever come up in a mandatory post-mission psychological assessment.
The three men have managed to get themselves attacked by monsters. Squall tries to focus on that instead.
He still seems to have his l’Cie powers, even as this Galbadian. When he casts Fire on a Funguar, though, Laguna suddenly seems as confused as he is.
“Something you’re not telling us?” asks one of Laguna’s companions, a dark-skinned man who fights with twin blades.
Laguna stares at his hand. “I seriously have no idea how I did that. Oh, man, am I a l’Cie? Oh, man.”
“Pretty sure that’s the kind of thing you’d notice,” the third man says.
The blade-user shrugs. “Yeah, but if anyone could be chosen by a fal’Cie and not notice...”
“Guys, this isn’t funny!” Laguna exclaims. “I don’t know anything about my Focus! I’m gonna be a Cie’th!”
“Let’s get this over with, then,” the third man says, hefting his harpoon. “If you’re about to turn into a monster, we’ll make sure you can spend all the time you’ve got left staring at the piano lady.”
“Yeah, what else are friends for?” the blade-user asks, smirking.
“You guys are jerks,” Laguna mutters.
-
“Squall? Squall, you hearing me?”
Squall opens his eyes.
Own body. Not own bed, he thinks, before remembering that he’s been expelled from Garden; he doesn’t have a bed of his own any more. No immediate danger, as far as he can tell. He tries to think back to how he got here, wherever ‘here’ is, but all he can think of is the painfully drawn-out awkward flirtation he’s just had to endure in his dreams.
Zell sits back in the chair next to the bed, letting out a long breath. “You okay? Man, you guys really scared me.”
“Guys?” Squall asks, sitting up stiffly. His head hurts.
“You and Selphie, you both just collapsed in the middle of the street. What the hell happened?”
Squall blinks and frowns. Now that he really tries to remember... what did happen? “You’ll have to ask her.”
“Already did,” Zell says, with a shrug. “She came round just before you. Says she doesn’t know.”
Squall looks around. This doesn’t look like a hotel; it looks like a house. There are pictures of foxes all over the walls, for some reason. “You found somewhere to stay?”
“Only ’cause you passed out when the nicest woman in Timber was walking by,” Zell says. “This is her place. She helped me carry you in here, too. Quistis keeps trying to pay her.” He lowers his voice. “I think she might be part of the resistance. Makes me feel kind of bad about helpin’ Galbadia out in the exam.”
Not that they really ended up helping anyone, Squall thinks.
It’s good that they don’t have to worry about accommodation, but something’s bothering him. He collapsed in the street. And not just him; Selphie too, so it can’t have just been fatigue. Were they hit by some kind of sleep-weapon? A spell?
“Where’s Selphie?” he asks, pushing himself off the bed.
“Pretty sure she’s upstairs with Quistis,” Zell says. “Tell me if you figure out what happened. I...” He hesitates. “I think I’ll stay here for a while.”
-
“Squall!” Quistis exclaims, when she sees him. “Good to see you’re awake. Have you come to hear about the exploits of Sir Laguna? I’m afraid you might be hearing about them either way.”
Squall hesitates mid-step. “Wh-what?”
“I had such a great dream!” Selphie says, beaming. “And it felt so real! I was this guy called Kiros, and—”
“Selphie,” Squall says. What’s going on? This is impossible. “Was there a Ward in your dream as well? Were they all Galbadian soldiers?”
Selphie pouts. “Awww, I told you already?”
“You can’t have,” Quistis says, giving Squall a strange look. “Squall was unconscious the last time we saw him, and I’ve been with you since then. Squall, have you been listening in?”
Squall shakes his head. “I dreamt about the same guys,” he says.
“Hey, I heard you!” Selphie exclaims. “I remember hearing your voice in my dream! So you were actually there?”
It can’t be a coincidence, can it? He heard Selphie’s voice in his head as well. “I was Laguna.”
“Oh, lucky,” Selphie mutters. “So it was you casting that Thunder? You know, when he freaked out about using magic?”
“Fire,” Squall says.
She grins. “Yeah, I know; I was testing you. This is so cool!”
“How is this possible?” Quistis asks, looking back and forth between them.
“I don’t know,” Squall says.
“We all saw the same thing before, didn’t we?” Selphie asks. “How is this different?”
Quistis shakes her head. “I’ve never heard of l’Cie having shared visions after they’re first branded. And why wouldn’t the fal’Cie show it to all of us, if it’s important?”
“I hope it’s about our Focus,” Selphie says, gazing up at the ceiling with a little smile. “Maybe it’s my Focus to steal Sir Laguna away from that piano lady.”
-
The mystery of the shared dream at least gives Squall something to think about; without distractions he’d just end up dwelling on the future, if there’s anything that can be called a ‘future’ left for them. It doesn’t last, though, and by the time their ship sets off he’s almost pushed Laguna out of his mind. There’s no way of knowing what the dream really was. They’ll probably never find out.
He’s crossing the deck, thinking about Cie’th, when something catches his eye. Zell.
Zell is standing at the side with one hand on the railing, looking out over the ocean. Squall hesitates for a moment, watching him.
Rinoa told him to watch out for Zell. He hadn’t really thought Zell needed watching out for, he’d thought maybe Rinoa had helped him through whatever was bothering him already, but seeing him like this... something doesn’t feel right. Squall doesn’t remember ever seeing him this quiet and still at Garden. If there are people around, Zell will talk to them; that’s just who he is. It’s why Squall didn’t want to be teamed up with him for the field exam; unnecessary talk is hard enough for him to deal with at the best of times, and he knows it’s taken into account in SeeD evaluation. This is the guy who kept trying to engage Squall in conversation long after everyone else had given up the effort. And now they’re on a boat full of people, and he’s standing on his own.
But what’s Squall supposed to do?
Selphie would probably be more helpful. She seems to have a lot of energy; maybe she can... impart it, somehow.
Squall glances back to see if she’s nearby.
“Oh... hey, Squall.”
Oh. Oh, no. Zell’s spotted him.
“Zell,” Squall says.
“Guess we’ll be there soon, right?”
It’s a pointless question, so Squall doesn’t answer. They both already know they’ll be there soon.
He walks up beside Zell, though, and leans on the railing next to him. He tries to think of something to say, but nothing comes. Is he even supposed to be getting Zell’s mind off things or getting him to talk about them?
“Sorry, man,” Zell says, after a moment. “I guess I’ve been kind of quiet.” He pauses. “Well, I probably still seemed pretty loud to you.”
What’s that supposed to mean? “Rinoa was worried about you.”
He laughs a little. “Yeah, well, same to her. I hope Seifer’s not driving her crazy out there. What about you?”
“What about me?”
“I don’t know, are you okay?” Zell asks. “You’re here with me. You’re not on your own somewhere. I figured maybe you wanted to talk.”
Squall looks away from him, out at the slowly-approaching coastline. “That’s not why I’m here.” He hesitates. Maybe it’d be easiest just to ask, now that Zell’s brought the subject up. “Did you?”
Zell goes quiet. Squall can hear him shifting next to him.
What if the reason Zell’s upset is that he’s a l’Cie? Of course that’s the reason; what else could it be? And it’s Squall’s fault that he was branded.
This was a mistake. He can’t stand here and listen to this.
“I’m worried about Ma,” Zell says, suddenly.
Squall looks over at him, startled. That wasn’t what he was expecting. “Did something happen to her?”
Zell shakes his head. “I couldn’t tell her what happened to me,” he says. “I tried, but... I couldn’t, y’know? I said I’d become a SeeD instead. Said I was going on a long mission.”
What is Squall supposed to say to that?
“And I just keep thinking... if I end up one of those monsters, she might never know what happened to me. But she’ll have to find out if I’m a crystal. And I don’t know which would be worse for her. I should’ve just told her when I had the chance.” He shifts uneasily, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles. “But she’ll be okay without me, right? I mean... I don’t know anyone stronger than my ma.”
They’re both silent for a while.
“We’ll be there in a few minutes,” Squall says. “You should make sure you have your equipment.”
“Yeah, ’course,” Zell says. “Hey, thanks for listening, man. Feels good to talk about it.”
Squall nods, although he finds it hard to believe he’s done any good by just standing there.
Chapter Five
Title: With These Signs Upon Our Souls, Chapter Four
Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII/Final Fantasy XIII
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 3,300 (this chapter; 8,600 cumulative)
Summary: The exam brief is simple enough: protect the fal'Cie from the Timber resistance. Squad B are about to get the mission as wrong as humanly possible.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Winhill isn’t exactly accessible. There are no trains or roads there; it’s cut off completely by mountains. No ships run there from Balamb. Rinoa has assured them that there are ships from Timber, though, and so they’re on a train there, Selphie looking out of the window – despite the fact that they’re in the undersea tunnel – and humming happily.
“I love trains,” she says, wistfully. “Like half the reason I took that exam was ’cause I wanted to see the SeeD private cabin.”
Quistis stifles a laugh. “Well, you’re not missing too much.”
Squall is only half-listening, his mind elsewhere, but he still tenses when he hears footsteps approaching from behind – no GF; still getting used to magic; gunblade under seat, need at least three seconds to retrieve it – before he registers that it’s just Rinoa.
“Thought you looked pretty lonely, sitting here on your own,” she says, dropping down onto the seat opposite him.
“I’m fine,” he says.
“It’s silly, isn’t it?” she asks, sitting back. “There’s space here for six people to sit facing each other. And instead it’s me and Seifer back there, Quistis and Selphie over there, and then you and Zell off by yourselves.”
“I’m fine,” he says again, but something in what she just said makes him glance along the carriage.
She’s right; Zell is sitting on his own. He’s not talking or getting pissed off or picking fights with the air; he’s just staring out of the window at the blackness of the tunnel.
Rinoa lowers her voice. “That’s actually why I came over to talk to you.”
He looks at her. “Zell?”
“He’s been quiet since he went to visit his mom. You hadn’t noticed? I mean, I haven’t known him for long, but it’s not exactly hard to tell he’s upset.”
Squall hadn’t noticed anything. Now that he thinks about it, though, things have seemed quieter since Zell came back from his house. “What do you expect me to do about it?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know, look out for him? He respects you. I think you could help.”
“It sounds like you’re looking out for him already.”
“I can’t always watch out for him,” Rinoa says. She lowers her voice even further, with a mock-furtive glance over Squall’s shoulder. “Someone’s gotta keep Seifer in line, right?”
Squall looks over at Zell again. It’s strange to see him so subdued. But it’s not like Squall’s going to be able to help.
“Just go and sit with him,” Rinoa suggests. “He’ll feel better if he’s not alone.”
Or maybe he wants some time alone to think. Either way, Squall’s not going to be able to cheer him up; it’s just not something he’s good at. “He’ll be fine.”
Rinoa frowns a little. “Hmm. Well, okay; you’ve known him longer than I have. But I’d still keep an eye on him, just in case.”
“I’m not responsible for Zell.”
“That’s a pretty cold thing to say,” Rinoa says, after a moment.
Squall looks out into the darkness. “Whatever.”
There’s a pause, and then the rustling of Rinoa standing up and footsteps as she makes her way back up the carriage. Squall doesn’t turn to look.
When the train eventually pulls into Timber, he stands and turns, and pauses. He’d assumed that Rinoa would have gone back to sit with Seifer, but she’s with Zell. The two of them are laughing about something, so maybe Zell did just need company.
Rinoa was probably a lot better at cheering him up than Squall would have been, though. Why didn’t she just go to talk to him in the first place? Why try to push him onto Squall?
Things feel a little more normal now that Zell’s smiling again, at least.
When Squall raises his head, he sees that Seifer is watching the two of them as well.
Rinoa, it turns out, neglected to mention that the ships to Winhill don’t run every day.
“That’s very unfortunate timing,” Quistis says, looking over the departures at Timber. “Still, I think it’s best to travel by water. We’ll need to find somewhere to stay.”
Seifer gives her an incredulous look. “You’re planning to be stuck here for a day and a half?”
“I don’t imagine going by foot will get us there any faster.”
Seifer shakes his head and gets to his feet. “Do what you want. I’m walking.”
“Don’t be foolish,” Quistis says. “You’re planning to cross those mountains on your own? Do you even have any supplies?”
“Thank you for your concern, Instructor, but I can make my own decisions.”
“I can cover your room for the night, if that’s the issue.” She shrugs, with a half-smile. “One way or another, I suppose I won’t need my gil for much longer.”
“The issue,” Seifer says, “is that I’m tired of travelling with a bunch of idiots, but thanks for the offer.”
“What are you doing?” Rinoa asks.
Seifer glares at her. “What does it sound like?”
“Well, it sounds like you’re being a horrible person,” Rinoa says, folding her arms. “But I know that can’t be right, ’cause I like you, and I’m a great judge of character. So why don’t you tell me what I’m missing?”
Seifer opens his mouth, then closes it again, then looks away from her, back at the departures board. “I just don’t want to sit around waiting.”
“Okay,” Rinoa says. “Then I’ll go with you.”
He gives her a hard look. “Oh? Don’t you want to stay here with Dincht?”
“Hey, whoa, what?” Zell asks.
“Are you serious?” Rinoa asks. “You’re throwing a tantrum because I talked to someone?”
Seifer shakes his head. “Forget it,” he says. “I don’t need help. And I definitely don’t need people dragging me back.”
“I don’t need you being a big jerk,” Rinoa says, “but I’ll still go with you, ’cause that’s what friends are for.”
“Do what you want,” Seifer mutters, stalking past her. “But don’t expect me to help out if you run into a Grendel.”
“You don’t mean that!” Rinoa calls after him, but he’s already out of the departure lounge and there’s no answer. She sighs.
This might actually be for the best, Squall is thinking. If Seifer clashes with everyone, he’s a danger; the tension he creates might accelerate their l’Cie brands. But something about this makes him uneasy.
“Sorry, guys,” Rinoa says, with a quick smile, “but I’m gonna have to go after him. Don’t think it’s a great idea to leave him on his own. I mean, you’re his friends, aren’t you? You’ll know what he’s like.”
Friends? Squall thinks. (Behind him, Zell breaks into incredulous laughter.) That’s... not exactly how he would have put it.
But he does know what Seifer’s like. He doesn’t know many people, but he knows Seifer. A lot of people in Garden said that Raijin and Fujin were just tools Seifer used to further his bullying, but Squall has seen that Seifer has been calmer under their influence, less prone to dangerous decisions. She’s right; it’s best not to leave him alone.
He nods. “All right.” And then, because she’s a civilian, he adds, “Be careful.”
“Hey, uh,” Zell cuts in, “we’ve all got the same Focus, right? So if you and Seif complete it on your own, is that gonna count for us as well?”
Rinoa pauses, looking thoughtful. “Oh, hey, that’s a good question.”
It’s not a question that had occurred to Squall, and even now that it’s been brought up he doesn’t find himself that curious. Monster or crystal: what difference does it make, ultimately? Neither seems like any sort of life.
Selphie doesn’t seem especially concerned either, although she has a different reason. “Does it really matter? I always thought it’d be kind of cool to be a Cie’th.” She begins lunging around, making demonstrative growling noises. “They can get really strong, you know? And I hear some of them can fly.”
Zell stares wide-eyed at her, looking as if he expects her to turn into a Cie’th and bite his head off then and there.
“It’s certainly possible to complete another person’s Focus for them,” Quistis says after a moment, crossing her arms. “I don’t know whether things change if the person completing the Focus is a l’Cie with that Focus themselves, though. I don’t see why it would make any difference, but there’s an awful lot at stake if we get this wrong.”
Rinoa nods. “I guess I’ll see if I can get him to come back.”
Before she leaves, Rinoa hugs Selphie and Zell and Quistis (Quistis looks slightly taken aback), then taps Squall on the shoulder and says quietly into his ear, “Watch out for Zell, okay?”
“I’ve got it!” Selphie exclaims. “Okay, first we break into one of the trains, right?”
“I don’t know about this,” Quistis says.
“One of the trains that’ve been put away for the night, obviously, because otherwise it’s not really breaking in. Or I guess we could just get on a train like normal and sleep there and see where we are when we wake up!”
“Uh,” Zell says, “not that that doesn’t sound like a great idea, but we’re meant to be catching this boat tomorrow, right?”
“That’s the best part: when we wake up, we get to take the train back!”
There’s a pain building in Squall’s head, slowly but steadily. He presses two fingers hard against his scar.
“No,” Quistis says. “I’m sure there must be rooms available somewhere.”
“Oh, you’re no f... oh, hey, whoa.” A soft thud. “Guess I am pretty tired.”
“Selphie?” Zell’s voice. He sounds alarmed, but Squall can’t see his expression, can’t see what’s happened; everything in his field of vision seems to be melting into static. “Selph, you okay?”
“Squall?” Quistis asks.
“Wha? Squall, not you, too!”
Squall is vaguely aware of hitting the flagstones before he passes out.
Is this a dream? It feels too real. But it can’t be anything else; the alternative is that Squall has transformed into a completely different person, which seems extremely unlikely.
The person Squall seems to be is a Galbadian soldier, judging by his uniform, travelling through a forest with two others. Squall has never seen any of these people before. There are familiar voices, though, when he concentrates, flashing through his mind: Seifer, angry, asking what the hell’s going on, and a confused but cheerful voice Squall takes a moment to place as Selphie’s.
The Selphie in Squall’s mind apparently thinks that Squall, or at least the guy Squall currently inhabits – ‘Laguna’, according to the other men – is ‘cute’. For an instant, Squall is almost glad he’ll never be a SeeD; at least there’s no chance that this will ever come up in a mandatory post-mission psychological assessment.
The three men have managed to get themselves attacked by monsters. Squall tries to focus on that instead.
He still seems to have his l’Cie powers, even as this Galbadian. When he casts Fire on a Funguar, though, Laguna suddenly seems as confused as he is.
“Something you’re not telling us?” asks one of Laguna’s companions, a dark-skinned man who fights with twin blades.
Laguna stares at his hand. “I seriously have no idea how I did that. Oh, man, am I a l’Cie? Oh, man.”
“Pretty sure that’s the kind of thing you’d notice,” the third man says.
The blade-user shrugs. “Yeah, but if anyone could be chosen by a fal’Cie and not notice...”
“Guys, this isn’t funny!” Laguna exclaims. “I don’t know anything about my Focus! I’m gonna be a Cie’th!”
“Let’s get this over with, then,” the third man says, hefting his harpoon. “If you’re about to turn into a monster, we’ll make sure you can spend all the time you’ve got left staring at the piano lady.”
“Yeah, what else are friends for?” the blade-user asks, smirking.
“You guys are jerks,” Laguna mutters.
“Squall? Squall, you hearing me?”
Squall opens his eyes.
Own body. Not own bed, he thinks, before remembering that he’s been expelled from Garden; he doesn’t have a bed of his own any more. No immediate danger, as far as he can tell. He tries to think back to how he got here, wherever ‘here’ is, but all he can think of is the painfully drawn-out awkward flirtation he’s just had to endure in his dreams.
Zell sits back in the chair next to the bed, letting out a long breath. “You okay? Man, you guys really scared me.”
“Guys?” Squall asks, sitting up stiffly. His head hurts.
“You and Selphie, you both just collapsed in the middle of the street. What the hell happened?”
Squall blinks and frowns. Now that he really tries to remember... what did happen? “You’ll have to ask her.”
“Already did,” Zell says, with a shrug. “She came round just before you. Says she doesn’t know.”
Squall looks around. This doesn’t look like a hotel; it looks like a house. There are pictures of foxes all over the walls, for some reason. “You found somewhere to stay?”
“Only ’cause you passed out when the nicest woman in Timber was walking by,” Zell says. “This is her place. She helped me carry you in here, too. Quistis keeps trying to pay her.” He lowers his voice. “I think she might be part of the resistance. Makes me feel kind of bad about helpin’ Galbadia out in the exam.”
Not that they really ended up helping anyone, Squall thinks.
It’s good that they don’t have to worry about accommodation, but something’s bothering him. He collapsed in the street. And not just him; Selphie too, so it can’t have just been fatigue. Were they hit by some kind of sleep-weapon? A spell?
“Where’s Selphie?” he asks, pushing himself off the bed.
“Pretty sure she’s upstairs with Quistis,” Zell says. “Tell me if you figure out what happened. I...” He hesitates. “I think I’ll stay here for a while.”
“Squall!” Quistis exclaims, when she sees him. “Good to see you’re awake. Have you come to hear about the exploits of Sir Laguna? I’m afraid you might be hearing about them either way.”
Squall hesitates mid-step. “Wh-what?”
“I had such a great dream!” Selphie says, beaming. “And it felt so real! I was this guy called Kiros, and—”
“Selphie,” Squall says. What’s going on? This is impossible. “Was there a Ward in your dream as well? Were they all Galbadian soldiers?”
Selphie pouts. “Awww, I told you already?”
“You can’t have,” Quistis says, giving Squall a strange look. “Squall was unconscious the last time we saw him, and I’ve been with you since then. Squall, have you been listening in?”
Squall shakes his head. “I dreamt about the same guys,” he says.
“Hey, I heard you!” Selphie exclaims. “I remember hearing your voice in my dream! So you were actually there?”
It can’t be a coincidence, can it? He heard Selphie’s voice in his head as well. “I was Laguna.”
“Oh, lucky,” Selphie mutters. “So it was you casting that Thunder? You know, when he freaked out about using magic?”
“Fire,” Squall says.
She grins. “Yeah, I know; I was testing you. This is so cool!”
“How is this possible?” Quistis asks, looking back and forth between them.
“I don’t know,” Squall says.
“We all saw the same thing before, didn’t we?” Selphie asks. “How is this different?”
Quistis shakes her head. “I’ve never heard of l’Cie having shared visions after they’re first branded. And why wouldn’t the fal’Cie show it to all of us, if it’s important?”
“I hope it’s about our Focus,” Selphie says, gazing up at the ceiling with a little smile. “Maybe it’s my Focus to steal Sir Laguna away from that piano lady.”
The mystery of the shared dream at least gives Squall something to think about; without distractions he’d just end up dwelling on the future, if there’s anything that can be called a ‘future’ left for them. It doesn’t last, though, and by the time their ship sets off he’s almost pushed Laguna out of his mind. There’s no way of knowing what the dream really was. They’ll probably never find out.
He’s crossing the deck, thinking about Cie’th, when something catches his eye. Zell.
Zell is standing at the side with one hand on the railing, looking out over the ocean. Squall hesitates for a moment, watching him.
Rinoa told him to watch out for Zell. He hadn’t really thought Zell needed watching out for, he’d thought maybe Rinoa had helped him through whatever was bothering him already, but seeing him like this... something doesn’t feel right. Squall doesn’t remember ever seeing him this quiet and still at Garden. If there are people around, Zell will talk to them; that’s just who he is. It’s why Squall didn’t want to be teamed up with him for the field exam; unnecessary talk is hard enough for him to deal with at the best of times, and he knows it’s taken into account in SeeD evaluation. This is the guy who kept trying to engage Squall in conversation long after everyone else had given up the effort. And now they’re on a boat full of people, and he’s standing on his own.
But what’s Squall supposed to do?
Selphie would probably be more helpful. She seems to have a lot of energy; maybe she can... impart it, somehow.
Squall glances back to see if she’s nearby.
“Oh... hey, Squall.”
Oh. Oh, no. Zell’s spotted him.
“Zell,” Squall says.
“Guess we’ll be there soon, right?”
It’s a pointless question, so Squall doesn’t answer. They both already know they’ll be there soon.
He walks up beside Zell, though, and leans on the railing next to him. He tries to think of something to say, but nothing comes. Is he even supposed to be getting Zell’s mind off things or getting him to talk about them?
“Sorry, man,” Zell says, after a moment. “I guess I’ve been kind of quiet.” He pauses. “Well, I probably still seemed pretty loud to you.”
What’s that supposed to mean? “Rinoa was worried about you.”
He laughs a little. “Yeah, well, same to her. I hope Seifer’s not driving her crazy out there. What about you?”
“What about me?”
“I don’t know, are you okay?” Zell asks. “You’re here with me. You’re not on your own somewhere. I figured maybe you wanted to talk.”
Squall looks away from him, out at the slowly-approaching coastline. “That’s not why I’m here.” He hesitates. Maybe it’d be easiest just to ask, now that Zell’s brought the subject up. “Did you?”
Zell goes quiet. Squall can hear him shifting next to him.
What if the reason Zell’s upset is that he’s a l’Cie? Of course that’s the reason; what else could it be? And it’s Squall’s fault that he was branded.
This was a mistake. He can’t stand here and listen to this.
“I’m worried about Ma,” Zell says, suddenly.
Squall looks over at him, startled. That wasn’t what he was expecting. “Did something happen to her?”
Zell shakes his head. “I couldn’t tell her what happened to me,” he says. “I tried, but... I couldn’t, y’know? I said I’d become a SeeD instead. Said I was going on a long mission.”
What is Squall supposed to say to that?
“And I just keep thinking... if I end up one of those monsters, she might never know what happened to me. But she’ll have to find out if I’m a crystal. And I don’t know which would be worse for her. I should’ve just told her when I had the chance.” He shifts uneasily, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles. “But she’ll be okay without me, right? I mean... I don’t know anyone stronger than my ma.”
They’re both silent for a while.
“We’ll be there in a few minutes,” Squall says. “You should make sure you have your equipment.”
“Yeah, ’course,” Zell says. “Hey, thanks for listening, man. Feels good to talk about it.”
Squall nods, although he finds it hard to believe he’s done any good by just standing there.
Chapter Five
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I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO READ THIS RIGHT NOW BUT I WILL BE BACK
omgyay
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SELPHIE'S PLAN. I love it. It is surely the best I have ever heard. ... The trains one, not the "YAY CIE'TH" thing, which was kind of alarming but also completely not out of place coming from her.
Rinoa is fantastic and also calling Seifer on his shit! Zell is adorable! Squall is confused! (For an instant, Squall is almost glad he’ll never be a SeeD; at least there’s no chance that this will ever come up in a mandatory post-mission psychological assessment. ahahaha oh lord) THESE THINGS DELIGHT ME.
ALSO YAY PAST ADVENTURES. (Kiros is right, Laguna would be perfectly capable of becoming a l'Cie without noticing.)
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LET US WALLOW IN OUR DELIGHT TOGETHER
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Oh my gosh I am enjoying this so much. And so excited to see how Seifer and Rinoa's relationship actually works. If it does.
“Let’s get this over with, then,” the third man says, hefting his harpoon. “If you’re about to turn into a monster, we’ll make sure you can spend all the time you’ve got left staring at the piano lady.”
Hahahaha FRIENDSHIP <3
the painfully drawn-out awkward flirtation he’s just had to endure in his dreams.
lololol
Oh. Oh, no. Zell’s spotted him.
hahahaha ugh I love everyone. Zellllllll
I am so so excited that you're still working on this!!