You're right, that is a lot. He might balance out the dead killers against the lives he's saved, but he clearly doesn't do the same thing for innocent people who die in his place. And that's a lot of dead people needed to keep him alive.

Croatoan fed into the whole annoying "DEAN AND THE REAPER GIRL TOTALLY DID IT BEFORE SHE WAS GOING TO TAKE HIM, AND IT NEEDS TO BE FICCED!" part of my brain (which, inconveniently enough, has taken to speaking in capslock). Because there's them being all chemistryful, Dean's emo manpain, that bit in Croatoan which made me want to reach through the television and hug Dean, and "What is and What Should Never Be", which made it clear why Dean doesn't see stopping as an option as long as he's alive.

Because it's pretty well canon that Dean finds death a somewhat-appealing way out of what he considers his responsibilities, and the stupid capslocky portion of my brain thinks that Dean's deathwish needs to be expressed in creepy porn.

Which is all irrelevant for a bit, at least. I'm on a major "original writing/subjecting innocent magazine editors to my stuff" tear, and will be off fanfic for several days.