Yes, I do. In my head you swear a lot (out loud, not typing), cook nearly as well as James May, and have a Sandshrew Pokemon sitting on your shoulder.

You only get one kind of help around here, and it isn't help to stop. And I do hope you write it; it's unbelievably slashy. He touches James a lot, practically molests him with a hairnet, has this bizarre excited nervous vibe, and gets James to eat cock!