I hate Derren Brown with my entire soul, but also he is charming and unsettling and amazing at what he does and, you know, not unattractive. I watched An Evening of Wonders the other night, and it was freaking brilliant. But I still hate him.

My housemates and I were wondering what it's like to be his poor boyfriend. DERREN KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE THINKING, MYSTERY BOYFRIEND. ALL THE TIME.