Oh you know you're weirdly attracted to Zombie Piers Morgan. Deep, deep down inside.

Really deep down.

(The problem is, I would have to research the shit out of NLP etc were I to feel at all comfortable writing it. AND THEN I WOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE YOU GIVE ME YOUR PURSE. (Which, I could probably already do, thinking about it. I did make you put a sock on your head, after all.))