MY EVIL PLOT IS WORKING. My evil plot to, er, interest people in Derren Brown. Yes. Because then they will watch his programmes, and he will be able to implant his subliminal messages in the minds of more people, and his conquest will be all the faster.

Do not forget: ukuleles are the key! You'll probably need to own one as well for the full soulbonding effect. Perhaps it would work with other musical instruments?