I'm sure Misha would come up with some physics-bending impossibility to make Stig/everyone work (including Stig/other Stigs, Stig/every car on the show except the pink Micra which doesn't deserve him, Stig/Stig, and Stig/Light from Death Note/Light, because Misha reads Riona's mind by accident while he sleeps).

Wossy would just go for the rage apocalypse. Possibly with an epic flounce, and even pseuicide.

Poor Bruce.

Why will you not write that? You need an idea for your big bang anyway! And it has Bruce Campbell, which automatically makes it at least 97% pure awesome!