- On the week on which Charlie Brooker is on the show, one of the news stories (probably one of the fake ones, although I suppose one can't be certain) should be about a zombie outbreak during the guests' incarceration. I don't care if it's too implausible; it would be brilliant.
- In the same week, one of the guests should be a clone of David Mitchell.

Can I just put you in charge of the universe for a few years? I mean the inevitable zombie outbreak would be a bit alarming, but the bit where it turned out, rather implausibly, that no one died, would make up for it. And I'm sure we'd all enjoy waking up with surprise Pokemon.