Also, while "I'm going to answer the door now, but I'm coming back for your cock" was impressively slashy, "He's an idiot, but he's my idiot" managed to be even slashier.

And I'm quite convinced Johnson would sleep with Mark if Mark ever managed to avoid coming off as overly dorky or painfully sincere. At the very least, he'd do it to spite Jeremy.

ETA: As I was typing, Johnson said Mark could be Camilla to his Charles, and patted him on the face. He wants Mark to be his royal mistress! And Jeremy and Johnson are giving each other death glares!