Is it possible that the things you mentioned are just everything that makes up the Doctor in any incarnation so I take it for granted, and it has to be something on top of that that makes me really sit up and take notice? :D

at times incredibly uncaring

I love how he can be so amazingly PASSIONATE about people and all the potential they have, and at the same time not give a stuff about individuals if they're just unlucky enough to catch him at a bad time. I think it all depends on whether or not you catch and manage to hold his attention at any given moment that makes you worthy or not in his eyes.

He's a conundrum and no mistake.