This is a ridiculously lovely comment; thank you so, so much!
I was sorry that there wasn't really space to put focus on everyone, so characters like Hagakure and Yamada and Celes didn't get much of a role (and Ishimaru, which I was particularly sad about because I adore Ishimaru), but I did try to make sure there was at least a sense that everyone was present and involved. I'm glad you picked up on that! And I worry endlessly about getting characterisation right, so it's a huge relief to hear you think it's worked.
(I think you're absolutely right about the honorifics. The problem was that this was originally posted in multiple instalments as I wrote it; at first I was going 'well, as this is from Naegi's point of view, I suppose I'll write characters' names as he'd say them', and by the time I started thinking 'actually, the honorifics everywhere look a bit strange' I'd already been locked into using them by previously-posted instalments, unfortunately, because suddenly switching the way I used them would have looked a lot stranger. I won't use them in the narration if I write anything else for this fandom!
I do think I thought of my teachers as 'Miss Doe' etc. at school (the only equivalent I can really think of from my life), but no honorifics in narration still seems like a better choice than HONORIFICS EVERYWHERE. If this had been from Yamada's point of view, I'd never have considered writing 'Naegi Makoto-dono' every time Naegi was mentioned; it would have looked absolutely ridiculous.)
I'm so happy you enjoyed it! Seriously, I can't express how much you've made my day. Thank you again!
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I was sorry that there wasn't really space to put focus on everyone, so characters like Hagakure and Yamada and Celes didn't get much of a role (and Ishimaru, which I was particularly sad about because I adore Ishimaru), but I did try to make sure there was at least a sense that everyone was present and involved. I'm glad you picked up on that! And I worry endlessly about getting characterisation right, so it's a huge relief to hear you think it's worked.
(I think you're absolutely right about the honorifics. The problem was that this was originally posted in multiple instalments as I wrote it; at first I was going 'well, as this is from Naegi's point of view, I suppose I'll write characters' names as he'd say them', and by the time I started thinking 'actually, the honorifics everywhere look a bit strange' I'd already been locked into using them by previously-posted instalments, unfortunately, because suddenly switching the way I used them would have looked a lot stranger. I won't use them in the narration if I write anything else for this fandom!
I do think I thought of my teachers as 'Miss Doe' etc. at school (the only equivalent I can really think of from my life), but no honorifics in narration still seems like a better choice than HONORIFICS EVERYWHERE. If this had been from Yamada's point of view, I'd never have considered writing 'Naegi Makoto-dono' every time Naegi was mentioned; it would have looked absolutely ridiculous.)
I'm so happy you enjoyed it! Seriously, I can't express how much you've made my day. Thank you again!