This fic is kind of bugging me. There's clearly something that really, really needs to be done to it in order to make it better. I just... can't figure out what it is.
Also, it's too long to pass the LJ-Comment test, so I'll be posting it in two parts.
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James... Maria! James... Mary - Maria, don't make me do this. James... James... James... ...i'msorry.
James doesn't want her there. He doesn't want to be reminded of what he did every time he sees her.
In my restless dreams... I see that town. Silent Hill. You promised me you'd take me there again someday. But you never did. Well, I'm alone there now. In our 'special place'... Waiting for you to come to see me. But you never do.
"Did you want to come here?"
Laura shrugs, not looking at him. "It's what Mary wanted."
He walks over to stand beside her, looks out of the window. "...I can understand if you hate me." He hates himself, after all.
She shrugs again. "She forgave you." She still doesn't look at him, though, and she still doesn't speak unless he speaks to her. It's not going to be easy, he feels, but he doesn't deserve ease in his life. "If she wants me to be here, I'm happy here."
James is silent.
It's... difficult, looking after Laura.
He and Mary used to discuss having children, before she became ill. Mary had wanted a child. James had always been uneasy about it.
If Mary were here, she would be able to look after Laura. She had always been better with children than James.
...it's a pity she... died.
"You said that you met Mary in the hospital, right?"
"Yeah."
"What were you doing there? Were you ill?" He feels that he should have asked it a long time ago.
"Why do you care?" Laura is always cold to him when he mentions Mary. James doesn't understand why.
"Tell me, Laura." He's never been good at being stern. He can't remember what possessed him to adopt this girl. He can't handle raising a child.
She looks oddly at him for a moment before turning away. "...It was just a cold."
James watches her for some time, and then leans back against the wall and closes his eyes.
He feels that perhaps he's forgotten something, something that could explain why Laura hates him so much. But he never asks.
That evening he turns on the TV, but it's broken and there's nothing but television static, casting a cold flickering light on the walls and ceiling around him.
James stares at it for longer than he should before he turns it off.
HELLO HAVE SOME WEIRD. Silent Hill 2-II: The Joys of Incoherency
This fic is kind of bugging me. There's clearly something that really, really needs to be done to it in order to make it better. I just... can't figure out what it is.
Also, it's too long to pass the LJ-Comment test, so I'll be posting it in two parts.
James...
Maria!
James...
Mary - Maria, don't make me do this.
James... James... James...
...i'msorry.
James doesn't want her there. He doesn't want to be reminded of what he did every time he sees her.
In my restless dreams...
I see that town.
Silent Hill.
You promised me you'd take me there again someday.
But you never did.
Well, I'm alone there now.
In our 'special place'...
Waiting for you to come to see me.
But you never do.
"Did you want to come here?"
Laura shrugs, not looking at him. "It's what Mary wanted."
He walks over to stand beside her, looks out of the window. "...I can understand if you hate me." He hates himself, after all.
She shrugs again. "She forgave you." She still doesn't look at him, though, and she still doesn't speak unless he speaks to her. It's not going to be easy, he feels, but he doesn't deserve ease in his life. "If she wants me to be here, I'm happy here."
James is silent.
It's... difficult, looking after Laura.
He and Mary used to discuss having children, before she became ill. Mary had wanted a child. James had always been uneasy about it.
If Mary were here, she would be able to look after Laura. She had always been better with children than James.
...it's a pity she... died.
"You said that you met Mary in the hospital, right?"
"Yeah."
"What were you doing there? Were you ill?" He feels that he should have asked it a long time ago.
"Why do you care?" Laura is always cold to him when he mentions Mary. James doesn't understand why.
"Tell me, Laura." He's never been good at being stern. He can't remember what possessed him to adopt this girl. He can't handle raising a child.
She looks oddly at him for a moment before turning away. "...It was just a cold."
James watches her for some time, and then leans back against the wall and closes his eyes.
He feels that perhaps he's forgotten something, something that could explain why Laura hates him so much. But he never asks.
That evening he turns on the TV, but it's broken and there's nothing but television static, casting a cold flickering light on the walls and ceiling around him.
James stares at it for longer than he should before he turns it off.
He never tries watching television again.