I AM SUFFERING SO MUCH AND I LOVE IT. "Oh my God, it's Richard Hammond" shrieked Jeremy, flailing. UTTER GLORIOUS HILARITY. JEREMY, YOU BASTARD. That is so one of the first things he'd do if he were changed into a teenage girl.

I'm so glad I've at least found a friend in Top Gear Dog. And hee, thinking about Jeremy/Top Gear Dog! And my family would probably be slightly concerned if they saw me being bundled into a car and driven off by Top Gear presenters. And 'the worst teenage girl ever' is exactly what I'd say.