(Hopelessly late commenting due to yet more Things To Do.) Hooray, you liked it! *glee* He is obsessed because he fancies Hammond. Obviously. He probably thought he was being endearingly wacky. Because he is a loon.
Hammond started up the car again, muttering bitterly to himself.
"You know, Jeremy," snapped Richard, eyes focussed entirely on the road, "Harriet could very well decide to embarrass you."
"But she wouldn't," said Jeremy cheerfully, "because she worships the ground I drive on."
Hammond shot him a very dirty look. "I mean it, Jez. Keep it in mind. We could always call good old Piers and the story would be out in seconds."
"You couldn't think of a bad thing to say about me."
"Oh," said Richard, sounding highly amused, "I'm sure there's something."
"You know," said Jeremy suddenly, deciding to change the subject before Harriet could act upon Richard's unpleasant advice, "we should perhaps find out where we are. We might need petrol or food, and May could bring it to us."
"You really want to drag poor May into this? I don't think he deserves to have to put up with you and your ridiculousness."
"Oh, Hammond, I know you want to keep me all to yourself, but we'll be needing the essentials. I'm sure May'll keep out of the way when necessary." Jeremy grinned and elbowed Richard in the ribs. Jeremuy grinned again. "Or maybe he won't." Harriet and TG exchanged glances and returned to listening avidly to the conversation.
"Jeremy," said Richard, attempting to be calm, "I don't fancy you, you egotistical git. I fancy May more than you; I fancy Top Gear Dog more than you. So could this nonsense please just stop, once and for all."
"Is this because I'm a girl?" asked Jeremy. "Because I thought you were more open than that. I'm ashamed of you, Hammond."
Richard banged his head against the steering wheel. "Are you serious? You cannot possibly be serious about this, Jeremy."
"I'll have you know, if I was my usual self, I'd quite happily kiss you; I just don't particularly want to inflict that on our new friend."
Richard lifted his head from the steering wheel and returned his eyes to the road, remembering that they might not be lucky enough to get the World's Most Useless Policeman next time. "Jeremy, this is possibly the worst time you could have picked to discuss this. You're in a different body; the occupant of your body is sitting right behind us; my poor, impressionable dog is sitting right behind us... I think it would be best if you found out where we were and called May."
Jeremy shrugged. "Fine. May's better looking than you, anyway."
Hammond turned to glare at him. "You are not calling May for that. I'll call him if that's what you're going to do."
Jeremy sighed petulantly. "Alright, I'll be bloody boring like you and ask him about food. Honestly, Richard, you could at least try to be an interesting person."
Hammond decided he was better off ignoring him until they found out where they were and James arrived.
(Ahem. I'm not sure how that happened. Er, anyway...)
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Hammond started up the car again, muttering bitterly to himself.
"You know, Jeremy," snapped Richard, eyes focussed entirely on the road, "Harriet could very well decide to embarrass you."
"But she wouldn't," said Jeremy cheerfully, "because she worships the ground I drive on."
Hammond shot him a very dirty look. "I mean it, Jez. Keep it in mind. We could always call good old Piers and the story would be out in seconds."
"You couldn't think of a bad thing to say about me."
"Oh," said Richard, sounding highly amused, "I'm sure there's something."
"You know," said Jeremy suddenly, deciding to change the subject before Harriet could act upon Richard's unpleasant advice, "we should perhaps find out where we are. We might need petrol or food, and May could bring it to us."
"You really want to drag poor May into this? I don't think he deserves to have to put up with you and your ridiculousness."
"Oh, Hammond, I know you want to keep me all to yourself, but we'll be needing the essentials. I'm sure May'll keep out of the way when necessary." Jeremy grinned and elbowed Richard in the ribs. Jeremuy grinned again. "Or maybe he won't." Harriet and TG exchanged glances and returned to listening avidly to the conversation.
"Jeremy," said Richard, attempting to be calm, "I don't fancy you, you egotistical git. I fancy May more than you; I fancy Top Gear Dog more than you. So could this nonsense please just stop, once and for all."
"Is this because I'm a girl?" asked Jeremy. "Because I thought you were more open than that. I'm ashamed of you, Hammond."
Richard banged his head against the steering wheel. "Are you serious? You cannot possibly be serious about this, Jeremy."
"I'll have you know, if I was my usual self, I'd quite happily kiss you; I just don't particularly want to inflict that on our new friend."
Richard lifted his head from the steering wheel and returned his eyes to the road, remembering that they might not be lucky enough to get the World's Most Useless Policeman next time. "Jeremy, this is possibly the worst time you could have picked to discuss this. You're in a different body; the occupant of your body is sitting right behind us; my poor, impressionable dog is sitting right behind us... I think it would be best if you found out where we were and called May."
Jeremy shrugged. "Fine. May's better looking than you, anyway."
Hammond turned to glare at him. "You are not calling May for that. I'll call him if that's what you're going to do."
Jeremy sighed petulantly. "Alright, I'll be bloody boring like you and ask him about food. Honestly, Richard, you could at least try to be an interesting person."
Hammond decided he was better off ignoring him until they found out where they were and James arrived.
(Ahem. I'm not sure how that happened. Er, anyway...)