my mother, who is wonderful and one of the few people from my Real Life in front of whom I can discuss Holmes/Watson mpreg and a Voldemort/Dobby fic containing the line 'Dobby has been a naughty house-elf and needs to be punished'* completely unselfconsciously.

Your mother sounds ace! Can I have one?

I'm rather envious as mine is only slightly mad (example of a genuine text message: No soggy moggy, puss in boots who can see the darkness! Microwaved chopstick. E.P. In dahouse! Return to sender!) and doesn't slash anybody.