I actually really want someone to write this now. Doubtful, confused, manipulative, incredibly screwed-up sex? Cuddy would work out what House was up to eventually and be absolutely horrified. Wilson would just go "...you did what?" And Jeremy, James and Richard would end up desperately trying to repair their friendship, thwarted at every turn by House, who thinks that friendship is so much more fun when it's been twisted out of all recognisability, and this could be such an intriguing fic.

I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO WRITE TOP GEAR ANGST.