rionaleonhart | Sadly, Delaware Singer Is Not On The List.

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Sadly, Delaware Singer Is Not On The List.

My father has come up with 'Shoot Your Shopping', a rather brilliant idea for revolutionising online supermarket shopping. You travel down virtual aisles, shooting at objects you want. Special offers occasionally appear at the top of the screen, and if you are the first to shoot an offer you get it. You have the opportunity, at the end of your shopping trip, to pay five pounds for a minigame in which you try to fight your way past the security guards; if you succeed, your shopping is free (your odds are better on smaller purchases). My brother made the suggestion that you have to avoid other trollies in the virtual aisles, because if you crash into one you will receive a box of broken eggs.

Seriously, if there were an online shopping system like that, you can't tell me you wouldn't use it.

AND NOW TO THE TRUE PURPOSE OF THIS ENTRY. This is a meme I did a while ago, and it was a lot of fun then.

shizuka_blooms has reminded me of it by posting a variation, and I think it's time to give it another go, as I have acquired a number of new fandoms since I last tried it. Hurrah!

1) Make a list of ~~fifteen~~ twenty-one (yeah, I've got no self-discipline at all) characters first, and keep it to yourself for the moment. (That way you're not leading the questions asked to fit the characters.)

2) Ask your flist to post questions in the comments.

For example:

'One, Nine, Fifteen and Twenty-One are chosen by a prophecy to save the world from Four. Do they succeed?'
'Under what circumstances might Five and Seven fall in love?'
'Which character on the list would you most want on your side in a zombie invasion?'
'What would Two experience in Silent Hill?'
'What Pokémon would Eight have?'
'Write a drabble in which Sixteen and Nineteen FIGHT CRIME.' (...possibly not technically a question.)

3) After your flist has asked enough questions, round them up and answer them using the twenty-one (augh) characters you selected beforehand, then post them.

Ask away! (And please feel free to ask as many questions as you would like.)

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7 is trapped in Silent Hill, trying to find 14, who may or may not be dead. 21 is accompanying 7, and is either a real person or a Silent Hill-generated illusion, a la Maria. Go!

10 and 20 are the Star in a Reasonably-Priced car on Top Gear. 10 is flirting with Jeremy throughout the interview, which is interrupted after the Stig breaks in, sweeps 20 up in a passionate embrace (no actual kissing necessary), and carries him-her-or-otherly-gendered-being off the set.

"For our Star in a Reasonably-Priced Car tonight, we couldn't get anyone. No one at all! So I'm going to be boring and interview Richard and James. Stop them sneaking out for a smoke while I'm up here working."

---

"So, James, how long have you been a homosexual?"

"How long have you been fantasizing about me being one?"

"I'm assuming the motorcycle is so you have an excuse to swan about in leather trousers. Does you get many blokes checking out your arse? Particularly Richard, under drunk and embarrassing circumstances I can get you to repeat on national television?"

"I have not!"

"Well, there's one man I know who always seems to notice. Every time I ride my motorcycle around him, he stares at my bottom and makes remarks. He's constantly insinuating that I'm a homosexual, and can't stop talking about men, male attractiveness, and who is or isn't gay. Rather a blatant closet-case, but I think he could be a nice boyfriend once he grows out of it."

"Oh, God. You did not just say that. Jeremy, tell me he did not just say that. Oh, God, why are you smiling?"

"And in the meantime, you can always have another drunken summer romance with Oz Clarke."

"Actually, the principle problem of summers with Oz is that he doesn't let me drink enough."

"I would give anything not to be in this conversation right now."

---

"Well, that was unexpected."

"Jezza, did you know about Richard and the Stig?"

"Not a clue, mate. I didn't even know the helmet came off, let alone that Hamster would want to snog what was underneath."

"He did look happy."

"True. Want to shag? The entire audience collapsed in shock when the Stig opened his visor."

"I suppose."

"Homosexualist."

"Pikey."

"We'll find him, Jeremy."

"You keep saying that." Jeremy tucked the rifle into the back-holster he'd rigged up out of belts (actually just several belts, but it made the rifle look cool sticking out like that). "What if he's dead?"

"Don't be daft." Richard stopped and rested his chin on his plank. "It's James May. What are the chances that he would ever do anything dangerous enough to cause an early death? He'll be alive."

"Like you?" Jeremy didn't want to start that argument again, but he couldn't help himself.

Richard, predictably, glared. "What's that supposed to mean? I'm not sodding dead!" He punched Jeremy in his uninjured shoulder. "See, alive!"

"The caravans don't attack you, though." And his hair was all wrong. And his dress-sense was...off, like someone who didn't know him that well going for vaugely Hammond-ish. "If you're real, if you're alive, why don't they go after you? You've killed at least as many as I have."

Richard shook his head. "I don't know, okay! I don't bloody know! They just don't."

"Neither do the...dogs." The dog-things were murder when Jeremy was on his own, but all Richard had to do was take one look at them and they fled.

"You're getting paranoid, Jes. Trust me, I understand. It's this place, this blasted fog! It's getting to you. Look, we'll find James, leave this sodding town, and it'll all be okay. You'll see. I'm me, James is alive, and you..." Richard gave Jeremy a look. "You just need to get out of the fog."

Jeremy had heard that before. He was becoming less and less sure he believed it.

Still, he nodded and carried on. Because whoever or whatever Richard really was, he was keeping Jeremy safe from everything else out there.

And it wasn't like Jeremy had anywhere else to go. Not anymore.

Aww! I demand that this be extended. Poor Jeremy! Is Richard really Richard? Is James alive? Is Jeremy really Jeremy?

The other one was pretty funny as well.

Thanks, but I'm not continuing. No one would like how it turned out.

I've worked out that it'll be Dean Winchester looking for James Sunderland in Silent Hill with some guy I've never heard of, and The Master flirting with Jeremy Clarkson before some guy I never heard of runs off with the Stig, so I'm very excited about Riona's versions. Although I rather wish I'd managed to work Pyramid Head in, because Pyramid Head/Stig would be an astounding couple.

I'd want to see how it turns out! *pouts*

Yeah, I've worked out that I've got Jack Harkness and Sharpay Evans and some guy I've never heard of discovering tgs, which should be interesting, and Pyramid Head getting attacked by a giant squid while visiting Phineas Nigellus and (asdflgjk! I've just realized that there's a squid at Hogwarts where PN is!) his only hope for rescue is either a loon or a murderer, which I cannot wait to see what comes of that.

(bytheway, have you managed to cath this (http://bubbles-san.livejournal.com/16492.html) post yet?)

It wouldn't end well.

And Jack, Sharpay, and Mystery Man finding TGS should be fun. And you've just made me feel sorry for the Hogwarts squid, picturing it going up against Pyramid Head.

Awesome poll! I'm going to have to stick with you/Stig.

*puppy dog eyes*

I know! He's not even going to need the crazy guy or the murderer! (the really sad part is that I've not even heard of SH before meeting Riona. Is this what she does to people?)

Everyone's doing that! It has apparently become bubbles!fic *canon* that I keep him in one of my closets (actually, he's not happy with me right now, as I have been abusing my GR icon today and he rather suspects I might fangirl him as well and I'm not entirely sure he's wrong help.)

Riona does this to everyone! It's what she does!

The downside of abusing the Gordon Ramsey icon is that I tend to visualize people as their icons. The upside is that it makes me want to nudge you into writing Gordon Ramsey/James May.

Er here? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTOfhQ_SZEg

I was digging through this box of old notebooks and loose paper and found this massive crossover I started a few years ago so at least I know it's not entirely her fault.

I've only been abusing it today, because I got up super early this morning and was too incoherent to pick out specific icons for each comment, so I started using it and decided that I would only use that one today. (Does that mean you picture me as an abrasive chef with a pet Sandshrew?)

(I've already seen that, but have no problems watching it again) ARGH That didn't help! But now I may actually may decide to write it. (The only problem I have with writing GR is that I don't really like to write swearing.) But seriously! I don't want to fangirl Gordon Ramsay! I meant help as in help me stop! And watching that again it is rediculously slashy. Why didn't I notice before?

Yes, I do. In my head you swear a lot (out loud, not typing), cook nearly as well as James May, and have a Sandshrew Pokemon sitting on your shoulder.

You only get one kind of help around here, and it isn't help to stop. And I do hope you write it; it's unbelievably slashy. He touches James a lot, practically molests him with a hairnet, has this bizarre excited nervous vibe, and gets James to eat cock!

That's odd, because I don't really like swearing. There are numerous reasons (one of them involving a dictionary and another involving soap and yet another! involving "A Christmas Story"), but my favorites are that I would be rubbish at it anyway, and that when you don't swear you get to use all the most creative exclams. Plus, you don't have to check yourself in polite company.

I"m still a bit stuck on the oven bit where James says he'll be on the bottom. My brain may have actually short-circuited at that point, as I didn't actually have the video up and was merely listening to it.

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Sadly, Delaware Singer Is Not On The List.

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As I am slightly bored and insane, I am going to fill this in with random Top Gear Presenters.

This probably shouldn't be read.

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