Every time you segue with "Speaking of giant mechanical spiders" you give me the horrible urge to stick gratuitous giant mechanical spiders in one of my fic. I hope you know that. And we really don't need "Top Gear meets the Gunpowder Plot with added gay sex and giant mechanical spiders", thank you very much.

Although, Mad Jeffrey would quite possibly have a few giant mechanical spiders in his basement, because he thought they were interesting. Possibly cyborgs; he grew enormous spiders, and to help them with the ensuing health problems, he added on all kinds of cyborg features.

Dammit!

And I love Derren Brown meets the sparklepires.