rionaleonhart | Derren Brown Would Make A Fabulous Merlin Villain-Of-The-Week.

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Derren Brown Would Make A Fabulous Merlin Villain-Of-The-Week.

Once again, Twitter provides the best theories:

[Derren Brown] didn't hypnotise you last night! Rather he stopped time, came round to your house and applied glue to your chair. cad!

Apparently his time-stopping powers did not work for quite long enough for him to get around to me, which was a shame, but at least three people on my flist have fallen victim to Derren's chair-gluing ways.

And now I am going to talk about Merlin!

Merlin is so delightful and I don't know why! (I think what I missed most about Merlin in its absence was Bradley James' ridiculous faces. They are a joy.)

I was very amused that, a mere couple of minutes into the episode, Merlin was going 'HMMM, BETTER INVESTIGATE THIS MYSTERIOUS TOMB AWAY FROM WHICH GROWN MEN WERE JUST RUNNING AWAY IN TERROR'. Merlin, you are such a Gryffindor.

I was also amused by the fact that it took even less time for the episode to have Merlin and Arthur together in Arthur's chambers at night, Arthur shirtless. (This episode had a great deal of gratuitous shirtless Arthur. Merlin is not a story; it is a big pile of fanservice on a plate.)

To return to the running in terror from the tomb, here is a thought: as the sorcerer presumably wants to be released from the glowy blue heart, why did he set up those traps to kill people who disturbed his tomb? NOT REALLY THE BEST PLAN THERE, SIGAN. You may be able to turn day into night and bring gargoyles to life, but I find your powers of logic wanting.

In spite of Sigan's self-sabotage, he managed to be freed, and thus we learnt that Merlin uses black irises to indicate possession! Not quite the completely-black-eyes effect of Supernatural, but close enough to please me. SIGAN HAS RETURNED. CALL IN THE WINCHESTERS.

I thought the scene in which Merlin first sees Cedric post-possession was hilarious. MERLIN FACES THE GREATEST AND MOST TERRIFYING SORCERER EVER. WHAT WILL HAPPEN? If you guessed 'there will be a very silly slap-fight and Merlin will chase the terrifying sorcerer under a bed', you are correct!

I liked that Merlin had the presence of mind to magic himself out of the dungeon. Merlin, you are not a complete idiot! And then, as

_afterism points out, nobody wonders how he escaped. But I can forgive Merlin all its plot holes. Merlin is not supposed to be a triumph of storytelling; Merlin is silly and fanservicey and fun, and watching it makes me happy no matter how fragile the thread holding the plot together is.

Speaking of the fragile thread holding the plot together: that ending was not entirely solid. Merlin is possessed OH WAIT NO Sigan's soul is back in the jewel! As far as I can tell, the fact that Merlin was carrying the jewel with him wasn't even indicated beforehand, which would have made it make at least a little more sense. Such a cop-out, Merlin! (I still love you anyway.)

And I see that Merlin is beginning to steer in the direction of Arthur/Gwen. On the one hand, I am sort of intrigued by the pairing. He is the crown prince! She is a handmaiden! On the other hand, I 'ship both Merlin/Arthur and Morgana/Gwen so much that I can't help being a tiny bit sad. (Merlin does seem quite aware of its fanbase, though, so I'm sure the Merlin/Arthur and Morgana/Gwen subtext is here to stay.) If the writers develop Arthur/Gwen properly, I am sure I shall be entirely in favour.

I smirked a little when Arthur said 'You always surprise me' to Gwen during their little bonding moment. Arthur, if memory and Google serve, says 'You never cease to surprise me' to Merlin during 'The Labyrinth of Gedref'. Therefore, Arthur is in love with Merlin. My logic is flawless. (Everything Merlin does is for Arthur! Aww. Awwwwww.)

On the subject of the series trailer (or at least I assume it was a trailer for the entire series, because otherwise next week's episode is going to be an extremely action-packed forty minutes)

Arthur: Nothing can ever happen between us!
Merlin: When you're king, you can change that.

Totally, totally deliberate. Oh, Merlin.

(I still want an episode in which Morgana and Gwen do all the day-saving. Arthur and Merlin are both unconscious due to the latest mysterious ailment besetting the kingdom, and so the episode is all about Morgana and Gwen, being adorable and awesome. It will be great.)

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I know! I've got both "Derren Brown is involved in scary mental BDSM with Robbie Williams" and "Derren Brown is Nyarlathotep, and waiting for the day he has enough brainwashed minions to turn all of humanity into slave-warriors in a war against other Elder Gods." Plus, I've got the niggling urge to write glassfic, just because everyone else is. (Riona, look at the genre you've spawned!)

Yeah. You do seem like a "Heavily-armed Jeremy Clarkson is hilarious" person, though, if not a "I will have Jeremy Clarkson shoot you in the face!" one.

I have weird glass!fic and some vague control-issues thing (which is stalled because I don't know who to pair Derren with in it).

to write glassfic, just because everyone else is
EVERYONE SAYS THAT EVERYONE IS WRITING GLASS!FIC and yet how much glassfic is there? Not ENOUGH, that's how much. How can everyone be writing it and yet there be so very little

(Also Riona hasn't written much glass!fic considering it's her idea an' all)

Ooh, psychic spy fic! Hehehehee. Tied-to-a-chair also has... possibilities.

I've got a similar problem. The only actual plot I've got for glassfic is the one where Riona makes the acquaintance of Derren Brown, and gradually works her way up from "sweet girl who bought me a ukulele that time" to "sweet girl who I shall take on as my apprentice" to "sweet girl who has somehow seized control of my world-domination plans, and left me spending my days alternately asphyxiating myself and rolling around on broken glass for her pleasure". And I'm hesitant to write that for obvious reasons.

I think everyone's writing it, and few people have it written. Watch; in a few weeks, the com will be littered with glassfic.

(You're right. What a very good point.)

(It is the best genre ever and I make no apologies. I very much hope you do write it.)

left me spending my days alternately asphyxiating myself and rolling around on broken glass for her pleasure
Well, I can certainly see why you're hesistant to write that bit. Oh no, wait. I don't. (Unless you fear you'll die of HOT). Couldn't you just axe the Riona-bits, if you don't want to write IRL-RPF (or whatever it is).

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Pain/Derren!fic explosion.

(Something should be done...)

I only RPF people I know (who are likely to actually find the fic) by permission. And while Riona is generally good about being RPF'd, there's a point where I suspect limits get in. And if I axe the Riona bits, there's no plot. It becomes either unconvincing "WOMAN WHO IS TOTALLY NOT RIONA I SWEAR bought me a ukulele, became my apprentice, and took over my world-domination plans, leaving me as her asphyxiation-and-glass slave!", or "I bought myself a ukulele, taught my plans to no one in particular, and then took over the world, only to skip ruling it in favor of asphyxiation and broken glass."

Watch. These things will sneak up on you.

(Something should be done. By Riona, preferably.)

*g* that makes sense. I suspect Riona may not enjoy being cast as Derren's asphyxiation-and-glass-mistress. (Or she might enjoy it a bit too much *wink*)

YAY! Sorry, I'll try that reaction again. *scared*

(Unless Derren's reading this - he seems to have a pretty direct link to Riona's mind, so he could make her write it?)

Yeah. And I'm terrible about swapping out characters when I have a picture in my head (part of the reason I never went in for the "Why write RPF and not thinly-disguised RPF with derivative-but-different original characters?" Because it's no longer a workable story in my head if I do.) Unless Riona's all "Make me Derren's glass-mistress!" that idea is out.

I know! Terrifying isn't it?

(If Derren's reading this, I'm sure he's very keen on the glass fic. Possibly running a mini-experiment on how weird the RPF can get?)

If Derren's reading this, I'm sure he's very keen on the glass fic. Possibly running a mini-experiment on how weird the RPF can get?
Possibly, or maybe he's just already used up all the other porn on the internet. (He does seem the type to get off on porn featuring himself... or, well, one version of public-person-Derren does. Oh dear, now we're back at "Derren" and Derren-on-TV and Derren-we-write about, aren't we?)

Edited 2009-09-20 19:34 (UTC)

I'm just going to stare at your icon for a million hours, if that's okay with you.

(She's VERY pretty.)

Fanfic Derren, at least, seems inclined to enjoy porn about himself. Particularly himself/inanimate object scary kinkporn he's persuaded others to write through clever mental manipulation. It gives him the triple satisfaction of getting off at the thought of himself, enjoying his ability to manipulate people, and reveling in the Derren/pain OTP.

(It may have beat out hookers-and-squid for sheer awesomeness. Sadly, the only glassfic I have on my brain right now are the you-and-Derren one of wrongness, and part of a continuing series of comment-fic I'm doing on cenea's journal, on the theme of "Richard Hammond and Robbie Williams would be the scariest couple in the history of forever, were they to somehow hook up". I'm trying to come up with a twist beyond Derren going "Broken glass gets me so hot!", and nothing's emerged yet.)

You could leave the other person out entirely. Perhaps Derren has AMAZING taking-over-the-world plans, but the stress of it gets to him, so he relaxes by rolling in glass and doing asphyxiation, and then he enjoys it so much that he completely forgets about taking over the world.

...mmm, richard hammond/robbie williams.

i love robbie so much. ♥

Leaving the other person out entirely seems to be the typical approach to asphyxiation fic and/or glassfic. And Derren seems controlled enough that it'd be hard to picture him not getting around to taking over the world on account of broken glass and plastic bags unless he was pretty much completely losing it.

Also! You 'ship Morgana/Gwen! I mean, yay you 'ship Merlin/Arthur, but EVERYONE 'ships Merlin and Arthur, so that's a given. THEY ARE SO UNBELIEVABLY CUTE. Apparently they become closer this season! Hopefully this involves a great deal of being awesome and also possibly more hugging.

FEEL FREE TO STARE. Hey, and here is another icon of her out of character! JUST TO OCCUPY YOUR DAY.

(I knowww. I felt so guilty thinking how pretty she was in that scene, because she is clearly ill (the paleness! It rivals Merlin omg) and also GOING SLOWLY MAD, but it is RIGHT THERE how am I supposed to ignore it?

Is - is it enough to convince you to watch Merlin? SHE HAS AN UTTERLY CHARMING RELATIONSHIP WITH HER ADORABLE MAIDSERVANT GWEN, WHO BRINGS HER FLOWERS AND HUGS HER WHEN SHE WAKES UP FROM HER NIGHTMARES. Also she gets to be fierce as hell in spoilery ways. Including swordfighting whilst looking ridiculously good in armour (srsly I am not sure how it is possible).)

Hmm.

Can we blame it on the Stig?

Ooh, more pretty!

I'm tempted, but I'm not in the UK, and getting episodes I can watch over the internet is a headache.

Morgana/Gwen does sound adorable, though. And I have a weakness for pretty women with swords.

I'm not sure how that would work.

(Also, stupid idea or stupidest idea - Jeremy accidentally sets the Stig on fire, and they spend the next thousand days alternately trying to put him out, worrying a bit that it must somehow be a problem even if he's not bothered, and trying to work out how to do the test laps without him burning down the cars.)

I've no idea either.

(Well, the Stig must like being on fire, then, because otherwise he'd have put himself out already.)

(He doesn't particularly object. He's obviously not happy about how they try to keep him out of the really expensive cars, but I don't think he's made the connection. Stig logic is not Earth logic.)

I just have to tell you that my absolute all-time favorite passage of any Top Gear fic, and one thing that makes me laugh like a loon every time I read it is this:

i have just realised that i can probably type a lot faster if i dont use any punctuarion of capitals and actually who cares about spelling mistakes WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT SPEELING MISTAKES ITS A BUGATTI LOOK AT IT ITS RIGHT THERE LOOK AT IT

GOD YOU AWANT A BUGATTI DONT YPU

YES YOOU DO YOU ARE LYIN

BUT YOU CANT HAVE IT BECAUSE IT IS MINE

I WANT A BUGATTI WHY DID VOLKSWAGED TAKE IT WAY THEY TOOK IT AWAY FROM ME

I SHALL NOW WRITE A POEM

OH BUGATTI
PKEASE COME BACK
OH YOUR BODY SO SHINY AND BLACK#
YOU COIULD EVEN MAKE TOWING A CARAVAN SEEM GOOD MAYBE BH UBUT IF Y IF SOMEONE ATTACHED A CARABAN TO YOU I WOULD KILL THEM BECAUSE IT IS A VEYON A BUGATTI VEYRON WHY WOULD YOU SHAME IT BY ASSOCIATING IT WITH A CARAVAN I HATE YOU

I HATE YOU AND I WILL KILL YOU

I WANT A BUGATTI.

Particularly YES YOOU DO YOU ARE LYIN and I HATE YOU AND I WILL KILL YOU.

That fic makes me so happy.

That is all.

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Derren Brown Would Make A Fabulous Merlin Villain-Of-The-Week.

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