Riona (
rionaleonhart) wrote2009-09-25 10:06 pm
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And Apparently He Wears A Magnetic Bra.
So, tonight was Derren Brown's intriguingly-named How to Be a Psychic Spy. Sadly, this was not Derren Brown's debut as the next James Bond, although I am hoping that fanfiction about Mr Brown's putting his abilities to more dramatic uses than causing people to think of an image will appear before too long. Nobody can quite remember why Agent Brown was permitted a licence to kill. He was very persuasive.
My immediate reaction to the end, and to the results of my subsequent scramble for a newspaper: Derren Brown! You are such a liar, but you certainly put effort into your lies. I love it when you conceal your true methods beneath layers of confusion and misdirection.
I also love it when you manipulate people into committing crimes. You are so fascinatingly attractive when you're being completely evil. Should you ever decide to take over the world, we wouldn't stand a chance; half of us would be stuck to our seats, and the other half would be unwittingly working for you. (Members of my flist were actually too afraid to watch How to Control the Nation for fear that Derren Brown would implant subconscious commands to turn them into murderers, so I was quite amused when he brought up the concept this week. (AMUSED AND ALARMED. I watched How to Control the Nation! How can I be certain that I have not already stabbed somebody?))
I like to think that Derren goes out to cafés and mirrors-and-leads strangers into falling asleep to amuse himself whenever he gets bored. According to interviews he is (or at least was pre-boyfriend) in the habit of going to restaurants on his own, which is presumably because any companion would say, "So, did you think... Derren? Derren. Derren, I know the service hasn't been great, but can't you just look at me instead of subliminally manipulating that woman over there into punching the waiter?"
One more Event to go! I will be quite sad when Derren Brown is no longer shamelessly deceiving us every Friday.
My immediate reaction to the end, and to the results of my subsequent scramble for a newspaper: Derren Brown! You are such a liar, but you certainly put effort into your lies. I love it when you conceal your true methods beneath layers of confusion and misdirection.
I also love it when you manipulate people into committing crimes. You are so fascinatingly attractive when you're being completely evil. Should you ever decide to take over the world, we wouldn't stand a chance; half of us would be stuck to our seats, and the other half would be unwittingly working for you. (Members of my flist were actually too afraid to watch How to Control the Nation for fear that Derren Brown would implant subconscious commands to turn them into murderers, so I was quite amused when he brought up the concept this week. (AMUSED AND ALARMED. I watched How to Control the Nation! How can I be certain that I have not already stabbed somebody?))
I like to think that Derren goes out to cafés and mirrors-and-leads strangers into falling asleep to amuse himself whenever he gets bored. According to interviews he is (or at least was pre-boyfriend) in the habit of going to restaurants on his own, which is presumably because any companion would say, "So, did you think... Derren? Derren. Derren, I know the service hasn't been great, but can't you just look at me instead of subliminally manipulating that woman over there into punching the waiter?"
One more Event to go! I will be quite sad when Derren Brown is no longer shamelessly deceiving us every Friday.
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Also, I am in Fiji, where his reach is confined to Air New Zealand flights in and out of the country (he stares at you through the entertainment magazine).
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(I haven't seen it yet. I was feeling very slightly tipsy by 9 o'clock and decided I'd continue with Strictly and save Derren for a time when I wasn't likely to be even more susceptible than normal)
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... Derren Brown is gay?
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This...this means something! Someone has to cross over something in some way!
Unfortunately, I have no idea how to RPF Neil Patrick Harris without him turning into the Harold and Kumar version, who definitely isn't gay, and probably isn't a magician.
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Clearly the most sensible idea here is that Neil Patrick Harris and Derren Brown meet at a magician's convention. However, I propose a wacky, improbable AU where Derren Brown is an EVIL MACIGIAN trying to TAKE OVER THE WORLD and Neil Patrick Harris has to stop him. Doctor Who crossover optional, of course.
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Okay it would be Nick. HOW WOULD THAT GO DOWN.
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So Derren, realising this, is going to make Nick forget all his unease à la the paying with paper stunt, with a story about persuading his friend to make the frivolous purchase of a wide-screen television.
"So I told him it was fine, it's fine, you're so caught up in so-called moral issues" (and Nick isn't sure what about buying a TV qualifies as a 'moral issue', but Derren is looking right at him and it's getting hard to think) "when there's really no issue at all. You want what you see in front of you, so take it. It'll make you happy. That's all that matters here."
All of a sudden, Nick finds himself intensely attracted to the man in front of him, and, unable to think of any particular reason why he shouldn't jump him there and then, does just that.
Then Derren decides that, actually, it'll be so much more fun if he can see this clash of faith and desire happening, and suddenly Nick's really in trouble.
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And I like Hot Dog Man. I think it's funny that it was the cheapest item where he got caught.
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"We use the motorcycle to jump onto the boat, fight the guards, pretend to get knocked into the water and drowned, use the magnetic shoes to secretly cling to the side of the boat as it pulls away from shore, climb on board, use the blow-gun to incapacitate whoever's on guard at night, break into the computer room with the cufflink lock-picks, attach the wristwatch-computer to their mainframe, seduce the beautiful female computer technician, download all of their information, then plant the C-4 concealed in my tie and blow it up while making our escape on the life-raft I have hidden in my hair!"
"I'm fairly sure I could talk the computer technician into getting the information for us, with no need for gratuitous explosions or motorbikes. I have mental manipulation skills."
"I should. Seducing beautiful women is my specialty."
"Really?" *Derren gets every woman in the room hanging off him in five minutes* "Are you better than that?"
"No. Have fun with a dozen women."
"Actually, I'm gay. They're to keep you out of trouble while I accomplish the mission without needless pyrotechnics. I'll be spending the rest of the evening getting intimate with that young man in the corner, and a pile of broken glass."
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