rionaleonhart: final fantasy x-2: the sun is rising, yuna looks to the future. (eeeeeeevil)
Riona ([personal profile] rionaleonhart) wrote2009-09-25 10:06 pm

And Apparently He Wears A Magnetic Bra.

So, tonight was Derren Brown's intriguingly-named How to Be a Psychic Spy. Sadly, this was not Derren Brown's debut as the next James Bond, although I am hoping that fanfiction about Mr Brown's putting his abilities to more dramatic uses than causing people to think of an image will appear before too long. Nobody can quite remember why Agent Brown was permitted a licence to kill. He was very persuasive.

My immediate reaction to the end, and to the results of my subsequent scramble for a newspaper: Derren Brown! You are such a liar, but you certainly put effort into your lies. I love it when you conceal your true methods beneath layers of confusion and misdirection.

I also love it when you manipulate people into committing crimes. You are so fascinatingly attractive when you're being completely evil. Should you ever decide to take over the world, we wouldn't stand a chance; half of us would be stuck to our seats, and the other half would be unwittingly working for you. (Members of my flist were actually too afraid to watch How to Control the Nation for fear that Derren Brown would implant subconscious commands to turn them into murderers, so I was quite amused when he brought up the concept this week. (AMUSED AND ALARMED. I watched How to Control the Nation! How can I be certain that I have not already stabbed somebody?))

I like to think that Derren goes out to cafés and mirrors-and-leads strangers into falling asleep to amuse himself whenever he gets bored. According to interviews he is (or at least was pre-boyfriend) in the habit of going to restaurants on his own, which is presumably because any companion would say, "So, did you think... Derren? Derren. Derren, I know the service hasn't been great, but can't you just look at me instead of subliminally manipulating that woman over there into punching the waiter?"

One more Event to go! I will be quite sad when Derren Brown is no longer shamelessly deceiving us every Friday.
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[identity profile] littlemoose.livejournal.com 2009-09-25 10:25 pm (UTC)(link)
If Derren Brown ever attempts to take over the world (If? When!) it seems that the people of Northern Ireland will be your last hope. Why? Because the NI version of the Mirror doesn't have the classifieds on a Friday. *g*
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[identity profile] littlemoose.livejournal.com 2009-09-25 10:36 pm (UTC)(link)
I was going to counter that with 'but I'm a really light sleeper!' but that only really is an argument if we're dealing with anybody but Derren Brown, isn't it? Ah well, on the plus side, at least I'd have sexy dreams that night ;)

[identity profile] dracothelizard.livejournal.com 2009-09-25 11:49 pm (UTC)(link)
So, er, we need an insomniac who doesn't read newspapers to fight against Derren Brown now?
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[identity profile] littlemoose.livejournal.com 2009-09-25 11:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Hee! (*doesn't mention she usually fits that description*)

[identity profile] dracothelizard.livejournal.com 2009-09-26 12:09 am (UTC)(link)
You're our only hope!

[identity profile] amy-wolf.livejournal.com 2009-09-25 11:56 pm (UTC)(link)
I volunteer!

Also, I am in Fiji, where his reach is confined to Air New Zealand flights in and out of the country (he stares at you through the entertainment magazine).

[identity profile] dracothelizard.livejournal.com 2009-09-25 11:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, so far I haven't seen Derren Brown in any magazines over here yet, so I'm guessing the Dutch Line of Defence against Derren will be all right for some time.

[identity profile] amy-wolf.livejournal.com 2009-09-26 12:05 am (UTC)(link)
Although, if he's using Riona's journal to defeat the resistance even as it's formed, with subliminal messages, we may both be doomed.

[identity profile] dracothelizard.livejournal.com 2009-09-26 12:08 am (UTC)(link)
...Damn.

[identity profile] serriadh.livejournal.com 2009-09-26 10:18 am (UTC)(link)
Riona's his sleeper agent. Even Riona doesn't know she's secretly fighting FOR him.

(I haven't seen it yet. I was feeling very slightly tipsy by 9 o'clock and decided I'd continue with Strictly and save Derren for a time when I wasn't likely to be even more susceptible than normal)

[identity profile] uk-sef.livejournal.com 2009-09-26 07:52 am (UTC)(link)
I fit the first parts of that description; but I'm not much of a fighter and someone would probably have to point out which one was Derren Brown (because I don't watch that sort of stuff either and I'm not very good at recognising humans anyway).

[identity profile] amy-wolf.livejournal.com 2009-09-26 08:14 am (UTC)(link)
He appears on Riona's icons frequently, so it should be easy to provide you with a picture in case of emergency.

[identity profile] zeitheist.livejournal.com 2009-09-25 10:27 pm (UTC)(link)
(or at least was pre-boyfriend)

... Derren Brown is gay?

[identity profile] zeitheist.livejournal.com 2009-09-26 10:58 am (UTC)(link)
I NEVER KNEW THIS! How come I never knew this? Is this like when I didn't know that Neil Patrick Harris was gay?

[identity profile] bubbles-san.livejournal.com 2009-09-27 05:49 am (UTC)(link)
WAIT WAIT NEIL PATRICK HARRIS IS GAY VTF? I'm sure I read on the cover of a tabloid in Wally World that he was married to someone of the female persuasion.

[identity profile] zeitheist.livejournal.com 2009-09-27 09:57 am (UTC)(link)
He is! He's been dating actor David Burtka since 2004. He is also a magician (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neil_Patrick_Harris#Personal_life).

[identity profile] amy-wolf.livejournal.com 2009-09-29 07:03 am (UTC)(link)
Neil Patrick Harris is a magician? He and Derren Brown are both gay magicians?

This...this means something! Someone has to cross over something in some way!

Unfortunately, I have no idea how to RPF Neil Patrick Harris without him turning into the Harold and Kumar version, who definitely isn't gay, and probably isn't a magician.

[identity profile] zeitheist.livejournal.com 2009-09-29 08:03 am (UTC)(link)
He is indeed! Have you seen Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. He does this wavy thing with his fingers during one of the songs which is actually a trick that magicians use to keep their hands limber. (It is also UNF UNF UNF HOT).

Clearly the most sensible idea here is that Neil Patrick Harris and Derren Brown meet at a magician's convention. However, I propose a wacky, improbable AU where Derren Brown is an EVIL MACIGIAN trying to TAKE OVER THE WORLD and Neil Patrick Harris has to stop him. Doctor Who crossover optional, of course.

[identity profile] th-esaurus.livejournal.com 2009-09-25 10:41 pm (UTC)(link)
THIS ONE MADE ME PROPER ANGRY.

[identity profile] th-esaurus.livejournal.com 2009-09-25 10:50 pm (UTC)(link)
If Derren Brown were to seduce one of the Jonas Brothers, who would it be and how would that go down. Let us keep in mind here that Nick believes in aliens, I feel that he would be easily swayed by Derren's evil mind tricks.





Okay it would be Nick. HOW WOULD THAT GO DOWN.

[identity profile] dracothelizard.livejournal.com 2009-09-25 11:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Based on the TV show, I feel that Kevin and Joe are right out, because while they would be initially seduced, they'd then get distracted by something shiny.

[identity profile] amy-wolf.livejournal.com 2009-09-26 08:25 am (UTC)(link)
DERREN BROWN IS SUCH A MASTER CRIMINAL!!!

And I like Hot Dog Man. I think it's funny that it was the cheapest item where he got caught.

[identity profile] th-esaurus.livejournal.com 2009-09-26 10:01 am (UTC)(link)
I like that you used actual logic in this answer. I hate that I keep thinking about Derren Brown/Nick Jonas, now.

[identity profile] amy-wolf.livejournal.com 2009-09-26 12:40 am (UTC)(link)
Now I'm picturing Derren Brown meets James Bond.

"We use the motorcycle to jump onto the boat, fight the guards, pretend to get knocked into the water and drowned, use the magnetic shoes to secretly cling to the side of the boat as it pulls away from shore, climb on board, use the blow-gun to incapacitate whoever's on guard at night, break into the computer room with the cufflink lock-picks, attach the wristwatch-computer to their mainframe, seduce the beautiful female computer technician, download all of their information, then plant the C-4 concealed in my tie and blow it up while making our escape on the life-raft I have hidden in my hair!"

"I'm fairly sure I could talk the computer technician into getting the information for us, with no need for gratuitous explosions or motorbikes. I have mental manipulation skills."

"I should. Seducing beautiful women is my specialty."

"Really?" *Derren gets every woman in the room hanging off him in five minutes* "Are you better than that?"

"No. Have fun with a dozen women."

"Actually, I'm gay. They're to keep you out of trouble while I accomplish the mission without needless pyrotechnics. I'll be spending the rest of the evening getting intimate with that young man in the corner, and a pile of broken glass."

[identity profile] amy-wolf.livejournal.com 2009-09-26 08:16 am (UTC)(link)
I suspect that, at some point, James Bond is going to say something about homosexuality being grounds for having your security clearance removed, and then Derren will explain that it is, in fact, the twenty-first century, not the early sixties, and James Bond will get deeply confused and need Derren to find him another dozen women to console himself with.

[identity profile] newbie1990.livejournal.com 2009-09-26 07:10 pm (UTC)(link)
DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU, RIONA. BECAUSE I DID.