rionaleonhart | He Is Full Of Compassion, Like A Snake.

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He Is Full Of Compassion, Like A Snake.

So. Derren Brown's How to Take Down a Casino.

...oh, Derren. That must be tremendously embarrassing. I suppose that's the risk of doing stunts live.

(He was only one off, though! I, for one, am very impressed. Shame it doesn't count for anything money-wise. Poor bewildered Ben.)

In a way, his failure actually makes me love him more. Derren Brown is still a massive freaky genius (those parts where he determined car speeds and predicted trajectories were amazing), but he is not an infallible massive freaky genius. He took a gamble in more ways than one by performing this live, and sometimes gambles fail. He was still dapper and charming and frighteningly intelligent, so, you know, thumbs up! It was just a shame that it was the last of The Events; as an overall ending, it's a bit of a 'wait, what?' moment.

In any case, in spite of the slightly anticlimactic ending, that was a very interesting show! Derren's mind is bizarre. I would very much like to take a holiday there. ALSO DERREN BROWN CAN STEAL YOUR MONEY AND THEN MAKE YOU FORGET HE DID IT. TERRIFYING MAN.

How much do I want fanfiction about Derren Brown and Paul Wilson, travelling bearded con artist duo? The answer is 'very much indeed'.

EDIT: A few people are wondering whether perhaps he deliberately got it one off, and I have to confess the thought has crossed my mind. This amuses me. Even when Derren Brown apparently fails, we have such faith in him and his tricksiness that we are convinced he meant to do that. Perhaps the trick wasn't deliberately getting it one off; perhaps the trick was manipulating us all into thinking the outcome was deliberate. In the eyes of his audience, he cannot lose!

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I really want to give Derren a hug now. :(

Me too! I felt mortified just watching that, so I can't imagine how embarrassing it must be for Derren himself.

I sort of love, even despite that, the whole thing. His job is essentially just SHOWING OFF.

(also, did you catch the being sprayed in the face 'not being used to standing up during it' bit? maybe my mind is in the gutter, or Derren is getting pervier during the shows)

'not being used to standing up during it'

...I HEARD IT, BUT I DID NOT UNDERSTAND IT UNTIL YOU REPEATED IT JUST NOW. I am shocked, Derren.

I swear, every episode has just been an excuse for him to go 'BTW, GAY NOW'

I think he was just stockpiling gay jokes whilst he was in the closet and absolutely dying to use them.

My dad reckons he wasn't actually in a real casino and therefore had to fail, otherwise he'd have had to give Ben a large amount of money, whereas this way, he just has to give him back his own. Cynic.

YOUR DAD'S THEORIES HAVE NO PLACE IN THIS JOURNAL OF DISBELIEF-SUSPENSION.

In all honesty, the possibility of its being deliberate did cross my mind, but then Derren would have made the conscious decision to end The Events on a failure, which would be quite a surprising thing to do. (Of course, he could deliberately have made that decision because he knew nobody would believe he would deliberately end the series on a failure, which would be quite cunning.) I almost want to believe it was deliberate, because otherwise, well, it must be so embarrassing.

I want to believe it actually happened like that (even though it's embarrassing and I want to join the queue to hug him), but choosing to end the events on that strange note would be totally the sort of thing he'd do.

This was exactly I how felt at the end! But, it's still Derren, and I'm beginning to think that, once again, he just outright lied to us for an hour.

Quite possible! It would be an unusual decision to deliberately end the series on such a low note, but, of course, he could be counting on people to think just that. You have made us all into such suspicious souls, Derren; even when you apparently fail we think you have succeeded. Which may have been what you intended us to think all along. You cannot not win in our minds!

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I think that is certainly a possibility! (Possibly not just for the sake of his face, but I do think the loss could have been deliberate.) WE BELIEVE IN DERREN BROWN. Or, well, more accurately, we believe that Derren Brown is lying to us. Derren's programmes tie my mind into such confusing knots!

"those parts where he determined car speeds"

I feel that somehow this needs to be tied into a Top Gear crossover.

I feel that you should write it.

Walked right into that one, didn't I?

Well, they end up with crappy cars all the time, and half the time the speedometer doesn't work. So there'd be some sort of challenge where going at the right speed is important, and Jeremy will be all 'right, in order to win this challenge, even though I haven't got a speedometer, I've got the next best thing: Derren Brown'.

Derren will be a bit miffed at being called the next best thing.

Although it'd probably be easier if I actually watch the Casino event.

Derren will be a bit miffed at being called the next best thing.

He would! He would be enormously offended by the implication that he is not as good as an actual speedometer. OBVIOUSLY DERREN'S SPEED CALCULATIONS ARE FAR SUPERIOR.

James will agree with him, because obviously James has done calculations to show how unreliable proper speedometers are.

And then, er, Derren and James have a massive geekfest over their calculations and Jeremy will still lose the challenge because his replacement speedometer is off talking about maths with James.

Please write this! There needs to be a Top Gear/Derren Brown crossover that isn't about Derren trying to do kinky and/or alarming things to Richard Hammond!

He did the speed thing by SOUND based on the make of the car and then went 'oh, it was probably a Ford from '93 or '94' and he was right too!

This has GOT to become a crossover, he can be in communication with Jeremy via a walkietalkie, and then halfway James will distract him by geeking out over maths and Jeremy will fail the challenge!

Possibly the thing I love most about that: Derren Brown can't even drive. BUT THAT'S NO REASON NOT TO LEARN HOW TO IDENTIFY CARS AND THEIR SPEEDS BY SOUND.

He can't drive?! There goes my hope for him being a Star In A Reasonably Priced Car any time soon. LEARN TO DRIVE, DERREN.

On the other hand, him not being able to drive will lead to much mockery from Jeremy in the fic, meaning that Derren will feel very little remorse about making Jeremy lose his challenge.

It took Sienna Miller what, a week?

Derren could probably learn it faster.

Now there's a Top Gear challenge: Team Top Gear will teach three celebrities to drive.

When he said "I will be ringing one of you shortly. There will be a camera crew outside your house" I had a momentary panic of 'oh my, what if it's me? I'm in my pyjamas', and then I remembered that I don't have £5,000. But then I thought 'but what if Derren Brown made me forget that I did?' and then I told myself to shut up.

The phone started ringing immediately after the first advert break. My brother and I exchanged an odd look before I answered it.

There was nobody there.

I'm still wondering.

That's why the trick didn't work! He'd prepared himself for you (...no innuendo intended...), and then the phone line went wrong, so he had to pick someone else to do it with, thus the failure. It's all your fault really, Riona.

Quick summary, if it's not too much bother? I didn't watch it tonight.

Derren Brown stole £5,000 from a member of the public and bet it on a number at a roulette table, having mentally calculated the speed and trajectory of the ball and wheel!

His calculation was one out. Which, whilst impressive, was not right and meant he had lost the money.

Whoops.

The ending was a rather awkward, 'Sorry, guy, we'll give your money back. Let's, er, let's roll the credits.'

.....And I won't be watching it at a later date either. HRMMM.

You are getting me more curious about Derren Brown by the day.

He is such a fascinating man! I'd show you YouTube videos, but it's difficult for me to find them, because most Derren Brown videos on YouTube are blocked in the UK. A few on metacafe, though: Derren Brown can confuse you into happily handing over your possessions! Derren Brown can mess with your perception! (I love the evil delight he is clearly taking in the poor man's fear here.) Derren Brown can make you forget important facts! Derren Brown can make you accept blank paper as payment! (Half his stunts are just shamelessly committing crime on television. Let us hope he never turns to evil for non-entertainment purposes.)

Edited 2009-10-03 11:23 (UTC)

I love the invisible man one! It makes me want to write some sort of mad dub-con invisible!sex thing between Derren and someone who's been talked into not seeing him! Or possibly work this into a follow-up for the whole Creepy Doll fic I did for TGS!

Except I'm having one of those "I can't actually finish anything right now!" phases, where I get into something, get nearly a chapter done (or, if it's not a WIP, three-quarters of a fic), and then have to start/continue something else. Too distracted. No focus. So don't expect any "Derren Brown gives the creepy blood-drinking doll of following you around back to Richard and then has invisible sex with him while the doll makes personal remarks, bares shiny needle-teeth, and insists it be fed soon," fic soon.

(My brain's a horribly disturbing place, isn't it?)

I just watched all of them -- woah. He seems really awesome! I'll have to look around for more videos sometime. :)

I find your status racist, my dear. How do you know that snakes aren't full of compassion?

My title clearly indicates that snakes are full of compassion! I don't know whence you're getting this idea that I think they're not.

(It is actually a quote from this interesting Harry Potter fic:

Dally looked into Drake’s [Draco's] eyes and saw that he cared, he was ful of compassion like a snake.)

I thought you were being cunningly sarcastic. IN A RACIST SORT OF WAY. DUE TO THE NEGATIVE STEREOTYPE PROPAGATED BY OUR CULTURE WITH REGARDS TO THE COMPASSION OF YOUR AVERAGE SNAKE.

(Already this site is telling me to "click belly to read the story". Um.)

If you look under 'charecters', there's a very odd mixture of people from different works of fiction (including Edward Cullen), people who are probably her real-life friends, and 'Malcolm Dumbledore' ('Age: prolly like 800 no one knows, House: Hogwarts, Status: pedofile'), who, in an embarrassing coincidence, looks just like Albus Dumbledore!

Jut then Mystique came out of the fire she was naked but she didn’t have nipples.

“now that you are a wizad I can give you my powers” said mystique. She handed me an orb and suddenly the room turned colors

“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH” screamed Della. She was in a lot of pain and sufferage.

Then mystique disappeared leaving dally with a belt with an X on it. She was now a mutant.

Okay, Riona, this may be the best fic ever!

Poor Della. Only in the fic for one sentence. Still, at least she got the vote!

I just read the entire thing. I think a small part of my brain has turned blue and dropped off. I especially like the part where Edward Cullen and Hiei combine to become the lead singer from Good Charlotte.

My favorite bit so far is when they throw Snape's penis out the window.

...I. I don't think I've ever seen anything quite that... I don't even have a word for this. I could never come up with something like this even if I tried REALLY REALLY HARD.

A rare parrot has sex with a cameraman's head while an amused Stephen Fry watches! And then it goes on Derren Brown's blog!

http://derrenbrown.co.uk/blog/2009/10/parrot-amorous-cameramans-head/

I think the universe just imploded there. Although the parrot seemed to enjoy himself.

ETA: And the comments go straight for "Derren, have your parrots ever tried that on you?"

Edited 2009-10-03 11:59 (UTC)

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He Is Full Of Compassion, Like A Snake.

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