Charlie's first thought (after some fairly impressive swearing) is that everyone was right after all: cannabis and video games really did make you go mad.

David's first thought was that this was just fucking typical. He stared at what had once been Charlie Brooker and went to rub his eyes, which was when he realised he had hooves. And of course he'd have hooves, because for some reason he was now a unicorn. Or was hallucinating he was a unicorn. 'Charlie,' he said tentatively (at least he seemed to be a talking unicorn: that was something), 'do you think you're a unicorn?'

Charlie turned and David noticed, rather sickened, that Charlie hair (mane, he corrected himself) looked rather good. David, even as a unicorn, had a rather odd fringe that kept falling in his eyes. Probably there was some horsey word for fringe that he should use.

'Oh great,' Charlie said. 'I don't know what's worse. That I'm caught in some fucking nightmare bad trip where I think we're both unicorns, or that I seem to have infected you with it as well'