Oh, these are SO funny!! I shall now have the image of the Janitor singing "The Hills are Alive" in my head all day long :)

And I was so tickled to see Phineas on the list--I think my very favorite one was:
Elliot Reid and Phineas Nigellus have been going out for two years now, and Elliot has decided to pop the question. How does she go about preparing for this, how does the actual scene go, and what is Phineas's reply?
It's really a spur-of-the-moment thing.
“I,” he said slowly, staring at her, “am a portrait of a married man who has been dead for some considerable time. You are an irritating girl who has, for some inexplicable reason, been coming into my office and speaking to me – with very little regard for whether I personally would appreciate your company, which, by the way, I do not – every day for almost two years. You are now... proposing to me. Might I suggest, with all the respect that is due to you – which is very little, in my opinion – that you have recently been on the receiving end of a Confundus Charm?”
“You – ” She swallowed, blinking back tears. “You reminded me of someone I know.”
“And that, of course, explains everything.”
Now that you mention it, Phineas is rather like Dr. Cox, isn't he?