Riona (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rionaleonhart) wrote2006-04-12 01:01 pm
rionaleonhart) wrote2006-04-12 01:01 pm
I Do Not Have Gay Jungle Fever!
Back from Vienna! There was a tragic lack of wacky hijinks, possibly because it was a school trip and so I was not travelling with my wonderfully hijinksical family.
I must say, there’s nothing quite like being welcomed back with JD/Cox fic written especially for you by the wonderful and talented![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
thegreatesthits. Seriously, I can’t thank her enough. The world needs more Scrubs fanfiction, and it definitely needs more Scrubs fanfiction with the line ‘“Hey hey hey, J.D!” Turk said to me, bouncing, as we sat in the cafeteria – me sadly spooning out my mashed potato into the shape of a stickman J.D. and Dr. Cox holding hands under a big yellow-y mashed potato sun.’
On the topic of excellent Scrubs fanfiction – which, by the way, you should all write so I can squeal over it and hug it and leave stupidly long feedback of joy – you should definitely take a look at My Thing, an absolutely fantastic Cox/Ben and JD/Cox fic. I don’t care what your excuse is, you’re going to read it.
And now, the answers to the character-number questions! These were a huge amount of fun to answer, I must say. Thank you all!
Sherlock Holmes, JD, Dr. Cox and Phineas Nigellus have decided to make a low budget film together. What's the title, the genre, and who plays what character in it?
Well, Dr. Cox doesn’t care what the film is: he was roped into doing this by JD and he sure as hell isn’t going to actually put any effort into it if he can’t avoid doing it altogether. Phineas Nigellus didn’t have a choice, because JD stole him, thinking DUDE TALKING PORTRAIT AWESOME, and it’s difficult to run away when you’re just a portrait. JD admires Sherlock completely and is prepared to go along with whatever he suggests, so they end up doing a production of the Hound of the Baskervilles. JD plays Watson and follows Sherlock around like a puppy at every opportunity. Cox, very reluctantly and with much sarcasm, plays Henry Baskerville. Phineas hangs on the wall of the Baskerville mansion and sabotages the performance by loudly announcing the solution to the mystery at the beginning of the film.
Between JD and Seifer Almasy which one is most likely to be famous 100 years after their death?
Definitely Seifer Almasy. Sorry, JD, but in the end you’re a random doctor. Seifer became the prominent sidekick of the Sorceress. Generally, people tend to be more remembered for killing other people than for trying to save them. I think that JD should be eternally famous for his sheer adorability, though.
Who would you rather have over to dinner – Dr. Cox, James Sunderland or Squall Leonhart?
Right, James Sunderland is right out straight away. You don’t want to have dinner with him. He’s just going to plunge you into deep depression and/or make you laugh nervously and back slowly away.
Squall Leonhart might be quite a good choice, because conversations with people I don’t know incredibly well tend to make me uneasy, and he probably wouldn’t be up for conversation either. He’s very similar to me in some ways. The dinner would be completely silent, but at least there wouldn’t be any hideously awkward talking.
Dr. Cox is freaking awesome, and I’d love to meet him, but I think he’d probably think that I’m a bit of an idiot. Squall it is, then.
Your best friend has to marry one of these characters, who do you pick for him/her – whole list?
...okay, I’m going to look at this character-by-character.
I can’t ever see Sherlock Holmes marrying. Envy is murderous and psychopathic. JD is a possibility, because he is adorable and a good person and yes, I think that JD could work. Pyramid Head – no. Just no. I don’t know whether Zell would be able to settle down well. Elliot would drive my friends crazy (I’m going to ignore any issues of gender). Dr. Cox, awesome as he is, is too emotionally screwed-up. Seifer Almasy would not work. James Sunderland, although he would probably be a loving husband, is three thousand different kinds of crazy. Rinoa is too clingy. Ben... I have absolutely no idea how my friends would get on with Ben. I think they’d probably like him, but I don’t think they’d be up for marriage. Captain Jack Harkness can’t be tied down. Phineas Nigellus is a portrait of a dead person, and already married. The Janitor is far too strange, and also too smitten with Elliot (eee adorable!). Squall Leonhart is another emotional screwup.
Wow, practically all of the people on my list are fundamentally unmarriable. I’d have to say JD, I think.
Who is more likely to sing ‘The Hills are Alive’ at a random moment – Envy or the Janitor?
Why do I capitalise the Janitor’s title? I suppose it’s because that’s how I imagine JD thinks of him. He’s not just the janitor. He’s ‘the Janitor’! *dramatic chord*
Anyway, I’d say that the Janitor would be more likely to burst into song. Envy doesn’t strike me as the ‘Hills are Alive’ type, while I can imagine the Janitor dancing around and singing it and JD seeing him and becoming rather unnerved. Also, the Janitor can sing. I... don’t think I’ve actually heard Envy sing, but I’m not sure he’d be all that good at it.
Pyramid Head and Elliot Reid have a baby. What will be the name and how are they (roughly) going to raise it?
...oh dear God.
Okay, I kind of doubt that the father’s going to stick around. Elliot, utterly traumatised, is going to name the bloodstained half-metal baby Hellspawn and desperately try to get rid of it before it kills anyone. Eventually she will throw it in a river, but it will crawl out and a series of mysterious patient deaths will occur, culminating in the death of Dr. Cox. Elliot, thinking the entire affair her fault, will wander numbly into Silent Hill.
It would be awful. The thought distresses me deeply.
Sherlock Holmes, Rinoa Heartilly, Dr. Cox and Phineas Nigellus go drinking and do karaoke. Who gets drunk quickest, and who sings what song?
Rinoa excepted, these four don’t strike me as terribly karaoke-ish. Anyway, Dr. Cox has excellent alcohol tolerance, and I imagine that Sherlock probably would too. Phineas probably wouldn’t drink. Rinoa gets drunk fairly quickly and begins singing – of course! – ‘Eyes On Me’. Dr. Cox and Phineas mock her about this for years afterwards. Phineas doesn’t sing. Sherlock, rather than singing, whips out his violin from nowhere and starts playing it. Cox, after a considerable amount of alcohol, is pressured by Rinoa into joining in her ‘Eyes on Me’ rendition to Holmes’ accompaniment, but starts laughing about three words into it and refuses to sing any more. He makes a mental note to call JD ‘Rinoa’ the next time he sees him.
Envy and JD swap bodies for some reason. What's gonna happen?
Well, a lot of Sacred Heart patients are going to be dying, I can tell you that. Also, Dr. Cox is going to get killed the second he starts lecturing ‘JD’, which is an enormous pity.
JD is going to be utterly smitten with his newfound shapeshifting abilities and use them mostly to confuse Turk.
When Envy eventually tracks JD down, he will almost kill him before worrying that damaging his body could have repercussions, and will instead kidnap and torture him. This will achieve nothing in the way of reversing the change: it’s just stress-relief. JD, when he learns of Dr. Cox’s death, will attack Envy wildly – and he might even succeed in defeating him, with Envy’s body. As Envy’s body can shapeshift, JD wouldn’t have to worry so much about damaging his original adorable form.
James Sunderland and Captain Jack Harkness are dancing the forbidden dance. Who leads and who is accidentally kicked in the groin?
I can’t believe I’ve actually already written this pairing.
Captain Jack leads, of course. He’s probably the one who gets accidentally kicked in the groin as well, because James is hardly graceful.
I’d probably be able to expand on this answer more if I actually knew what on Earth the forbidden dance was.
If Elliot Reid and Dr. Cox were characters from the board game Clue (or Cluedo, as I know it), which one would be Miss Scarlet and which one would be Mrs. White?
Hmmm. I always imagined Mrs. White to be rather snarky (I don’t know what the characters are like in the movie, which I have never seen), which would seem to fit Dr. Cox, but that would leave Elliot to be Miss Scarlet, whom I imagine to be a rather smooth, seductive, decidedly un-Elliot-ish type. Still, the Coxinator isn’t all that seductive either, and Elliot does try sometimes, so I’m going to stick with that. Coxy is Mrs. White.
If Sherlock Holmes, James Sunderland, and the Janitor were on a road trip across the United States, who would drive, who would ride shotgun and fiddle with the stereo, and who would fall asleep in the backseat? Also, who would pay for gas?
The Janitor is driving - they're all in his van. Sherlock’s in the front, fiddling with the stereo, extremely curious about this modern technology. He disapproves of pop music, I have decided. James reminisces about Mary in the back seat, and eventually falls asleep all curled up and hugging his jacket. When they need petrol, the Janitor carefully sneaks James’ wallet out of his jacket pocket without waking him. James never realises that it’s gone missing. Not the most observant of people, our James.
All of the prime numbers gather for a dinner party. Who handles the grill, and who spikes the punch?
Envy spikes the punch... WITH POISON. JD is almost the first to die, because it’s free drink and he’ll take whatever he can get, but Zell alerts Dr. Cox, who carries JD at a run from the party and manages to save him. Ben, who was at the grill with Cox, also leaves to see what happens. Envy takes over the grill, but Zell looks nervously at him and refuses to eat anything he’s offered, and Phineas just stays in a corner and wonders what on Earth he’s doing there.
Captain Jack Harkness, Envy and Pyramid Head decide to have a threesome, when OMG SHOK HORRAR Dr. Cox walks in on them. What's the result?
Excuse me, I just have to take a moment to boggle at the sheer terrifying insanity of that threesome.
The man with hair like a palm tree changes, takes the form of the Doctor, and walks towards him with a feral grin. Jack’s seen shapeshifting species before, and the sex was always great. The pyramid-headed creature is violent and powerful, and he likes that, but he always keeps one eye on the Knife in its hand. The literal Knife. A big metal Knife that could cut a person in two isn’t what he’d generally look for in a bedfellow.
Suddenly the door slams open, and the doctor is standing there. Not the Doctor, the doctor. The one who’s looking after him. Dr. Cox.
Dr. Cox stares.
“Okay, Mr. Harkness,” he says eventually, “when I said ‘back injury, no strenuous exercise’, what exactly did you think that I meant? Seriously, I really want to know.” He looks from the man who isn’t the Doctor to the bloodstained pyramid creature and back again. “Then again, you’ve clearly got mental problems if these are your preferred partners, so maybe I should just see if I can get you transferred to a different hospital. For future reference, ‘no strenuous exercise’ does not mean ‘no strenuous exercise unless it involves hellish creatures from another dimension’.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” not-the-Doctor snarls, reverting to his green-haired form and stalking towards the doctor.
Dr. Cox looks around the room again, shakes his head despairingly and leaves.
James Sunderland, Zell Dincht and Sherlock Holmes walk into a bar, and...
...the universe implodes.
Zell tries desperately to get James to cheer up as they drink, without much success. James has just got onto the topic of Mary’s eyes and doesn’t look as if he’ll be leaving it any time soon when Sherlock notices something shifty about the bartender, and the evening turns into a wacky mystery-solving adventure.
Pyramid Head, Elliot Reid, Captain Jack Harkness and Squall Leonhart are starting a band together, what is their name and what kind of music do they play? Also, who's the lead singer, and what instruments do the others play? HEE HEE HEE.
Pyramid Head plays the triangle. Obviously. Captain Jack Harkness is lead singer, because THE ACTOR SINGS AND SO OBVIOUSLY THE CHARACTER DOES OH YES I AM WITH THE MAKING OF SENSE. Squall plays the guitar, because I say so, and Elliot plays the bagpipes because one of them has to.
The band is called ‘SKREEEARKAKSAGF’. Harkness wanted ‘The Innuendo Squad’, but Pyramid Head wanted ‘SKREEEARKAKSAGF’, and you just don’t argue with Pyramid Head.
Captain Jack Harkness, Elliot Reid, and JD go on a crazy roadtrip together full of adventures and hijinks! What kind of vehicle do they take? Where are they headed? What lame roadside attraction do they stop for? Who gets kicked out of the vehicle first?
THEY TAKE A SPACESHIP
AN INVISIBLE SPACESHIP
AND OH BOY THERE IS SHAGGING LIKE WHOA.
Elliot’s the first to get kicked out, because she can be incredibly irritating. The actual kicking-out is unintentional, though: JD gives her an affectionate shove, and she falls out of the spaceship door far above the Pacific. They have to travel quickly back in time in order to rescue her.
Their ultimate destination is wherever the Doctor is: Captain Jack was looking for him, and he encountered JD and Elliot on the way and was immediately rather taken with them. They travel through time and space, looking for the Doctor and Rose! Also, they stop for every lame attraction ever, because JD wants to see them all.
I totally want to read that crossover.
Seifer Almasy, Pyramid Head, and Envy decide to rob a bank together! What kind of disguises do they wear? Who's the brains of the operation? How much cash do they get away with?
Okay, Pyramid Head and Envy are there. They get as much money as they want. Seriously, I think that those three make the most incredible bank-robbing trio ever.
Envy’s the brains, I think, because he’s just so devious. As he’s a shapeshifter, he can disguise himself as anything he damn well wants to. He’d probably disguise himself either as an important worker of the bank (if he wants to be sneaky), or as a loved one of one of the people working there (if he wants to be absolutely horrible, which I think is fairly likely).
Disguises for Pyramid Head are both impossible and unnecessary. I mean, what are the police going to do? You steer well clear of Pyramid Head if you know what’s good for you, no matter how many banks he robs.
Seifer disguises himself as Squall and snickers about the idea of Leonhart being arrested for the rest of the evening. He hopes that nobody was paying too much attention to the direction of his scar or the make of his gunblade. Even if they did realise that it was him, though, he was with Pyramid Head. What are they going to do to him?
James Sunderland, JD, Zell Dincht, the Janitor, and Sherlock Holmes are all forced into the same cheerleading squad. What is the resulting chaos like, and what game would they perform at?
Oh, JD and Zell would get on so well. It would be glorious and adorable. They would be such enthusiastic cheerleaders, too. James would be dreadful. Sherlock Holmes would probably be an excellent cheerleader, but he’d pretend not to be; Watson would lurk in the background and record his cheerleading escapades. The Janitor would continually sabotage the routine, but Holmes would quickly figure out what he was up to and put a stop to it.
I’m just going to ignore the ‘what game would they perform at’ part of the question, because I’m not actually sure I know what it means. Is this something to do with sport? I don’t have a clue about sport, or, for that matter, cheerleading.
Sherlock Holmes, Envy, JD, Pyramid Head and Zell Dincht are trapped in an elevator. Who dies first?
EVERYONE BUT PYRAMID HEAD and possibly Envy, who then carry on duking it out for the rest of time or until they team up, break out of the elevator and kill everyone in the world.
Who's most likely to defenestrate Rinoa Heartilly?
There are a lot of people who might defenestrate Rinoa. A huge number of people seem to hate her. If all the Squall/Zell and Squall/Seifer fans got their hands on her, she wouldn’t have a chance. I’m not saying that all Final Fantasy VIII slash fans despise Rinoa – I’m very fond of Squall/Zell, and the amount of Rinoa-bashing drives me mad – but the vast majority of them seem to.
Squall Leonhart and Captain Jack Harkness get into an argument about what "defenestrate" means. Who wins, or does something catastrophic happen before a resolution can be reached?
Well, in a way they’re both correct: languages change over the course of time, and by the 51st century ‘defenestrate’ has become a sexual euphemism. Because they’re both right, nobody can win and the argument doesn’t end until a meteor crashes into the planet and hideous alien lifeforms begin pouring out of it. So yeah, something catastrophic happens first.
Dr. Cox ate James Sunderland. Describe Elliot Reid’s reaction. (I feel I should mention that the original question was ‘Seven ate nine. Describe six's reaction.’ and made me giggle more than it should have.)
Elliot would probably stare in disbelief, then babble incoherently for five minutes, and then she would hide from Dr. Cox, take some time to think it all over, assume that she was seeing things (probably the case; I can’t see Dr. Cox literally eating people) and go to panic at JD about the sudden onset of insanity.
Ben Sullivan and Squall Leonhart, sitting in a tree. Complete this paragraph.
...annoying his companion and becoming very annoyed indeed respectively. This is another thing that I would rather like to read.
Phineas Nigellus wakes up to find himself in a compromising position with Envy and James Sunderland. Does he assume it's a setup? Who does he blame?
He immediately knows that it’s a setup, because he’s hardly capable of getting into a compromising position of his own accord, being a portrait and all. Possibly it would have made sense to assume that it was still-alive Phineas, but I WILL ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS HOWEVER I WANT TO. He outwardly blames James, because Envy quickly makes it clear that he is very dangerous and so blaming him could be risky. Privately, though, he’s sure that Envy is responsible for this, mainly because of the manic giggle and the fact that James seems to be just as confused as he is.
Seifer Almasy and JD engage in a long, torrid relationship which finally ends when the Janitor draws JD aside, engaging in a meaningful heart-to-heart about true feelings, use, and abuse. (That may well be the most improbable sentence ever written.) JD, realizing that he's been selling himself short for lo these many years, seeks therapy from James Sunderland (GREAT CHOICE OF THERAPIST, JD). Seifer, in a fit of wrath, tries to get revenge on the Janitor and James (now this I can actually see happening), but mixes up the license plate numbers and winds up cutting Captain Jack Harkness's brakes and filling Pyramid Head's glove compartment full of fire ants. (Lots and lots of fire ants.) Meanwhile, JD has gone on to tentatively date Squall Leonhart, who's just recovering from a bad experience with Rinoa Heartilly (OH MY GOD SOMETHING THAT MAKES SENSE TREASURE IT IT WILL BE GONE IN A MOMENT) and certain irreconcilable theological differences. JD and Squall decide to form a barbershop quartet (See? Told you), and rope Dr. Cox and Ben Sullivan into it as well. Now consumed with jealousy, Seifer and Rinoa form their own quartet with Phineas Nigellus and Zell Dincht. (Sorry, guys, but my money’s on the JD/Squall/Cox/Ben quartet, which I think could actually be pretty awesome if they could persuade Cox and Squall to actually sing.) Finally, the two quartets demand arbitration by a neutral party – Elliot Reid – and spar off in a barber shop. (It amuses me that Elliot also actually judges a barbershop face-off in Scrubs canon.) However, all is not resolved! Pyramid Head, stung multiple times by the fire ants, has mutated into Captain FireAnt, and – filled with a fiery anger! – decides to take his revenge for his bitter (burning) transformation on EVERYONE! He charges at Elliot, mandibles ready to rend and tear!
Who steps in front of this ravening beast to save Elliot's life?
Firstly, this is the awesomest question ever.
Secondly: are you freaking kidding me? Nobody would be bold enough to stand up to regular Pyramid Head, let alone fire-ant hybrid Pyramid Head. No, wait, I take that back. The Janitor would do it, to protect Elliot. He’d somehow manage to defeat it, too. The fight scene would be awesome and involve a mop.
Squall Leonhart, Ben Sullivan and James Sunderland are out for a midnight stroll when suddenly OH NOES, they are attacked by zombies. How do they react?
James goes absolutely mad, because of course the zombies spark rather unpleasant memories of the less enjoyable of his trips to Silent Hill. He runs and hides. Ben stares for a moment, and then cracks up laughing. Possibly he tries to mimic the lurching zombie walk, just for the hell of it. Squall just takes out his gunblade. (Some of you need to scrub out your minds with soap, honestly.)
Elliot Reid and Phineas Nigellus have been going out for two years now, and Elliot has decided to pop the question. How does she go about preparing for this, how does the actual scene go, and what is Phineas's reply?
It's really a spur-of-the-moment thing.
“I,” he said slowly, staring at her, “am a portrait of a married man who has been dead for some considerable time. You are an irritating girl who has, for some inexplicable reason, been coming into my office and speaking to me – with very little regard for whether I personally would appreciate your company, which, by the way, I do not – every day for almost two years. You are now... proposing to me. Might I suggest, with all the respect that is due to you – which is very little, in my opinion – that you have recently been on the receiving end of a Confundus Charm?”
“You – ” She swallowed, blinking back tears. “You reminded me of someone I know.”
“And that, of course, explains everything.”
Envy, Seifer Almasy, James Sunderland, and Pyramid Head are all living together. Envy wants to get a dog, but Pyramid Head is strongly against the idea. Seifer and James both couldn't really care less. How does Envy convince everyone to let a dog take up residence in their house?
First, Envy tries to kill Pyramid Head. When that fails, he kills Seifer and James out of frustration, even though they’re not really standing in the way of his getting a dog. Then he begins sneaking dogs into the house. Pyramid Head keeps finding and decapitating them, but Envy continues to bring in more and more dogs. Eventually he collects together as many dogs as he can find, hunts down Tucker and forces him to make them all into a gigantic chimera dog so powerful that it is actually capable of defending itself against Pyramid Head.
JD and the Janitor are eating at an ice cream parlour. What kind of ice cream do they get? Now, Zell Dincht drops in and joins them. What kind of ice cream does Zell get? What do they start talking about, as they eat their ice creams?
JD is very enthusiastic about getting ice-cream at first, but then he realises that the Janitor is there and that, whatever he gets, he’s probably not going to be able to eat it because he’ll be too worried that the Janitor’s doused it with bleach or done something similarly horrible. Ever the optimist, however, he eventually chooses a chocolate ice-cream with chocolate chips, hides it under the table and pretends that he didn’t get anything.
JD somehow manages to offend the Janitor about three seconds into their conversation by implying that he’s a janitor. Never mind that he is a janitor: he’s offended, dammit, and when JD tries to start up a reasonably sane conversation by asking what kind of ice-cream he chose, he says that it’s mop flavour, obviously, he’s just a stupid janitor with no life. JD shuts up fairly quickly.
When Zell enters and chooses a chocolate chocolate-chip ice-cream, JD, forgetting that he’s supposed to be pretending that he doesn’t have an ice-cream, happily says that hey, he got that too, and also that tattoo is awesome and where did he get it? (cue fantasy sequence of tattoo-covered super-cool JD.) Zell happily joins them, and he and JD start rambling at each other about assorted TV programmes and the hero-worshipping of aloof people. The Janitor immediately despises Zell and begins plotting ways of making the lives of both of them a misery.
To end on a completely random note, I am very much enjoying the first Sly Cooper game! I am very, very bad at it, and at the moment I'm completely stuck on a stupid lorry race, but I am enjoying it nevertheless! I particularly like making Sly scamper up ladders and along ropes, because HE PUTS HIS SICKLE THING IN HIS MOUTH IT IS ADORABLE.
I must say, there’s nothing quite like being welcomed back with JD/Cox fic written especially for you by the wonderful and talented
thegreatesthits. Seriously, I can’t thank her enough. The world needs more Scrubs fanfiction, and it definitely needs more Scrubs fanfiction with the line ‘“Hey hey hey, J.D!” Turk said to me, bouncing, as we sat in the cafeteria – me sadly spooning out my mashed potato into the shape of a stickman J.D. and Dr. Cox holding hands under a big yellow-y mashed potato sun.’On the topic of excellent Scrubs fanfiction – which, by the way, you should all write so I can squeal over it and hug it and leave stupidly long feedback of joy – you should definitely take a look at My Thing, an absolutely fantastic Cox/Ben and JD/Cox fic. I don’t care what your excuse is, you’re going to read it.
And now, the answers to the character-number questions! These were a huge amount of fun to answer, I must say. Thank you all!
Sherlock Holmes, JD, Dr. Cox and Phineas Nigellus have decided to make a low budget film together. What's the title, the genre, and who plays what character in it?
Well, Dr. Cox doesn’t care what the film is: he was roped into doing this by JD and he sure as hell isn’t going to actually put any effort into it if he can’t avoid doing it altogether. Phineas Nigellus didn’t have a choice, because JD stole him, thinking DUDE TALKING PORTRAIT AWESOME, and it’s difficult to run away when you’re just a portrait. JD admires Sherlock completely and is prepared to go along with whatever he suggests, so they end up doing a production of the Hound of the Baskervilles. JD plays Watson and follows Sherlock around like a puppy at every opportunity. Cox, very reluctantly and with much sarcasm, plays Henry Baskerville. Phineas hangs on the wall of the Baskerville mansion and sabotages the performance by loudly announcing the solution to the mystery at the beginning of the film.
Between JD and Seifer Almasy which one is most likely to be famous 100 years after their death?
Definitely Seifer Almasy. Sorry, JD, but in the end you’re a random doctor. Seifer became the prominent sidekick of the Sorceress. Generally, people tend to be more remembered for killing other people than for trying to save them. I think that JD should be eternally famous for his sheer adorability, though.
Who would you rather have over to dinner – Dr. Cox, James Sunderland or Squall Leonhart?
Right, James Sunderland is right out straight away. You don’t want to have dinner with him. He’s just going to plunge you into deep depression and/or make you laugh nervously and back slowly away.
Squall Leonhart might be quite a good choice, because conversations with people I don’t know incredibly well tend to make me uneasy, and he probably wouldn’t be up for conversation either. He’s very similar to me in some ways. The dinner would be completely silent, but at least there wouldn’t be any hideously awkward talking.
Dr. Cox is freaking awesome, and I’d love to meet him, but I think he’d probably think that I’m a bit of an idiot. Squall it is, then.
Your best friend has to marry one of these characters, who do you pick for him/her – whole list?
...okay, I’m going to look at this character-by-character.
I can’t ever see Sherlock Holmes marrying. Envy is murderous and psychopathic. JD is a possibility, because he is adorable and a good person and yes, I think that JD could work. Pyramid Head – no. Just no. I don’t know whether Zell would be able to settle down well. Elliot would drive my friends crazy (I’m going to ignore any issues of gender). Dr. Cox, awesome as he is, is too emotionally screwed-up. Seifer Almasy would not work. James Sunderland, although he would probably be a loving husband, is three thousand different kinds of crazy. Rinoa is too clingy. Ben... I have absolutely no idea how my friends would get on with Ben. I think they’d probably like him, but I don’t think they’d be up for marriage. Captain Jack Harkness can’t be tied down. Phineas Nigellus is a portrait of a dead person, and already married. The Janitor is far too strange, and also too smitten with Elliot (eee adorable!). Squall Leonhart is another emotional screwup.
Wow, practically all of the people on my list are fundamentally unmarriable. I’d have to say JD, I think.
Who is more likely to sing ‘The Hills are Alive’ at a random moment – Envy or the Janitor?
Why do I capitalise the Janitor’s title? I suppose it’s because that’s how I imagine JD thinks of him. He’s not just the janitor. He’s ‘the Janitor’! *dramatic chord*
Anyway, I’d say that the Janitor would be more likely to burst into song. Envy doesn’t strike me as the ‘Hills are Alive’ type, while I can imagine the Janitor dancing around and singing it and JD seeing him and becoming rather unnerved. Also, the Janitor can sing. I... don’t think I’ve actually heard Envy sing, but I’m not sure he’d be all that good at it.
Pyramid Head and Elliot Reid have a baby. What will be the name and how are they (roughly) going to raise it?
...oh dear God.
Okay, I kind of doubt that the father’s going to stick around. Elliot, utterly traumatised, is going to name the bloodstained half-metal baby Hellspawn and desperately try to get rid of it before it kills anyone. Eventually she will throw it in a river, but it will crawl out and a series of mysterious patient deaths will occur, culminating in the death of Dr. Cox. Elliot, thinking the entire affair her fault, will wander numbly into Silent Hill.
It would be awful. The thought distresses me deeply.
Sherlock Holmes, Rinoa Heartilly, Dr. Cox and Phineas Nigellus go drinking and do karaoke. Who gets drunk quickest, and who sings what song?
Rinoa excepted, these four don’t strike me as terribly karaoke-ish. Anyway, Dr. Cox has excellent alcohol tolerance, and I imagine that Sherlock probably would too. Phineas probably wouldn’t drink. Rinoa gets drunk fairly quickly and begins singing – of course! – ‘Eyes On Me’. Dr. Cox and Phineas mock her about this for years afterwards. Phineas doesn’t sing. Sherlock, rather than singing, whips out his violin from nowhere and starts playing it. Cox, after a considerable amount of alcohol, is pressured by Rinoa into joining in her ‘Eyes on Me’ rendition to Holmes’ accompaniment, but starts laughing about three words into it and refuses to sing any more. He makes a mental note to call JD ‘Rinoa’ the next time he sees him.
Envy and JD swap bodies for some reason. What's gonna happen?
Well, a lot of Sacred Heart patients are going to be dying, I can tell you that. Also, Dr. Cox is going to get killed the second he starts lecturing ‘JD’, which is an enormous pity.
JD is going to be utterly smitten with his newfound shapeshifting abilities and use them mostly to confuse Turk.
When Envy eventually tracks JD down, he will almost kill him before worrying that damaging his body could have repercussions, and will instead kidnap and torture him. This will achieve nothing in the way of reversing the change: it’s just stress-relief. JD, when he learns of Dr. Cox’s death, will attack Envy wildly – and he might even succeed in defeating him, with Envy’s body. As Envy’s body can shapeshift, JD wouldn’t have to worry so much about damaging his original adorable form.
James Sunderland and Captain Jack Harkness are dancing the forbidden dance. Who leads and who is accidentally kicked in the groin?
I can’t believe I’ve actually already written this pairing.
Captain Jack leads, of course. He’s probably the one who gets accidentally kicked in the groin as well, because James is hardly graceful.
I’d probably be able to expand on this answer more if I actually knew what on Earth the forbidden dance was.
If Elliot Reid and Dr. Cox were characters from the board game Clue (or Cluedo, as I know it), which one would be Miss Scarlet and which one would be Mrs. White?
Hmmm. I always imagined Mrs. White to be rather snarky (I don’t know what the characters are like in the movie, which I have never seen), which would seem to fit Dr. Cox, but that would leave Elliot to be Miss Scarlet, whom I imagine to be a rather smooth, seductive, decidedly un-Elliot-ish type. Still, the Coxinator isn’t all that seductive either, and Elliot does try sometimes, so I’m going to stick with that. Coxy is Mrs. White.
If Sherlock Holmes, James Sunderland, and the Janitor were on a road trip across the United States, who would drive, who would ride shotgun and fiddle with the stereo, and who would fall asleep in the backseat? Also, who would pay for gas?
The Janitor is driving - they're all in his van. Sherlock’s in the front, fiddling with the stereo, extremely curious about this modern technology. He disapproves of pop music, I have decided. James reminisces about Mary in the back seat, and eventually falls asleep all curled up and hugging his jacket. When they need petrol, the Janitor carefully sneaks James’ wallet out of his jacket pocket without waking him. James never realises that it’s gone missing. Not the most observant of people, our James.
All of the prime numbers gather for a dinner party. Who handles the grill, and who spikes the punch?
Envy spikes the punch... WITH POISON. JD is almost the first to die, because it’s free drink and he’ll take whatever he can get, but Zell alerts Dr. Cox, who carries JD at a run from the party and manages to save him. Ben, who was at the grill with Cox, also leaves to see what happens. Envy takes over the grill, but Zell looks nervously at him and refuses to eat anything he’s offered, and Phineas just stays in a corner and wonders what on Earth he’s doing there.
Captain Jack Harkness, Envy and Pyramid Head decide to have a threesome, when OMG SHOK HORRAR Dr. Cox walks in on them. What's the result?
Excuse me, I just have to take a moment to boggle at the sheer terrifying insanity of that threesome.
The man with hair like a palm tree changes, takes the form of the Doctor, and walks towards him with a feral grin. Jack’s seen shapeshifting species before, and the sex was always great. The pyramid-headed creature is violent and powerful, and he likes that, but he always keeps one eye on the Knife in its hand. The literal Knife. A big metal Knife that could cut a person in two isn’t what he’d generally look for in a bedfellow.
Suddenly the door slams open, and the doctor is standing there. Not the Doctor, the doctor. The one who’s looking after him. Dr. Cox.
Dr. Cox stares.
“Okay, Mr. Harkness,” he says eventually, “when I said ‘back injury, no strenuous exercise’, what exactly did you think that I meant? Seriously, I really want to know.” He looks from the man who isn’t the Doctor to the bloodstained pyramid creature and back again. “Then again, you’ve clearly got mental problems if these are your preferred partners, so maybe I should just see if I can get you transferred to a different hospital. For future reference, ‘no strenuous exercise’ does not mean ‘no strenuous exercise unless it involves hellish creatures from another dimension’.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” not-the-Doctor snarls, reverting to his green-haired form and stalking towards the doctor.
Dr. Cox looks around the room again, shakes his head despairingly and leaves.
James Sunderland, Zell Dincht and Sherlock Holmes walk into a bar, and...
...the universe implodes.
Zell tries desperately to get James to cheer up as they drink, without much success. James has just got onto the topic of Mary’s eyes and doesn’t look as if he’ll be leaving it any time soon when Sherlock notices something shifty about the bartender, and the evening turns into a wacky mystery-solving adventure.
Pyramid Head, Elliot Reid, Captain Jack Harkness and Squall Leonhart are starting a band together, what is their name and what kind of music do they play? Also, who's the lead singer, and what instruments do the others play? HEE HEE HEE.
Pyramid Head plays the triangle. Obviously. Captain Jack Harkness is lead singer, because THE ACTOR SINGS AND SO OBVIOUSLY THE CHARACTER DOES OH YES I AM WITH THE MAKING OF SENSE. Squall plays the guitar, because I say so, and Elliot plays the bagpipes because one of them has to.
The band is called ‘SKREEEARKAKSAGF’. Harkness wanted ‘The Innuendo Squad’, but Pyramid Head wanted ‘SKREEEARKAKSAGF’, and you just don’t argue with Pyramid Head.
Captain Jack Harkness, Elliot Reid, and JD go on a crazy roadtrip together full of adventures and hijinks! What kind of vehicle do they take? Where are they headed? What lame roadside attraction do they stop for? Who gets kicked out of the vehicle first?
THEY TAKE A SPACESHIP
AN INVISIBLE SPACESHIP
AND OH BOY THERE IS SHAGGING LIKE WHOA.
Elliot’s the first to get kicked out, because she can be incredibly irritating. The actual kicking-out is unintentional, though: JD gives her an affectionate shove, and she falls out of the spaceship door far above the Pacific. They have to travel quickly back in time in order to rescue her.
Their ultimate destination is wherever the Doctor is: Captain Jack was looking for him, and he encountered JD and Elliot on the way and was immediately rather taken with them. They travel through time and space, looking for the Doctor and Rose! Also, they stop for every lame attraction ever, because JD wants to see them all.
I totally want to read that crossover.
Seifer Almasy, Pyramid Head, and Envy decide to rob a bank together! What kind of disguises do they wear? Who's the brains of the operation? How much cash do they get away with?
Okay, Pyramid Head and Envy are there. They get as much money as they want. Seriously, I think that those three make the most incredible bank-robbing trio ever.
Envy’s the brains, I think, because he’s just so devious. As he’s a shapeshifter, he can disguise himself as anything he damn well wants to. He’d probably disguise himself either as an important worker of the bank (if he wants to be sneaky), or as a loved one of one of the people working there (if he wants to be absolutely horrible, which I think is fairly likely).
Disguises for Pyramid Head are both impossible and unnecessary. I mean, what are the police going to do? You steer well clear of Pyramid Head if you know what’s good for you, no matter how many banks he robs.
Seifer disguises himself as Squall and snickers about the idea of Leonhart being arrested for the rest of the evening. He hopes that nobody was paying too much attention to the direction of his scar or the make of his gunblade. Even if they did realise that it was him, though, he was with Pyramid Head. What are they going to do to him?
James Sunderland, JD, Zell Dincht, the Janitor, and Sherlock Holmes are all forced into the same cheerleading squad. What is the resulting chaos like, and what game would they perform at?
Oh, JD and Zell would get on so well. It would be glorious and adorable. They would be such enthusiastic cheerleaders, too. James would be dreadful. Sherlock Holmes would probably be an excellent cheerleader, but he’d pretend not to be; Watson would lurk in the background and record his cheerleading escapades. The Janitor would continually sabotage the routine, but Holmes would quickly figure out what he was up to and put a stop to it.
I’m just going to ignore the ‘what game would they perform at’ part of the question, because I’m not actually sure I know what it means. Is this something to do with sport? I don’t have a clue about sport, or, for that matter, cheerleading.
Sherlock Holmes, Envy, JD, Pyramid Head and Zell Dincht are trapped in an elevator. Who dies first?
EVERYONE BUT PYRAMID HEAD and possibly Envy, who then carry on duking it out for the rest of time or until they team up, break out of the elevator and kill everyone in the world.
Who's most likely to defenestrate Rinoa Heartilly?
There are a lot of people who might defenestrate Rinoa. A huge number of people seem to hate her. If all the Squall/Zell and Squall/Seifer fans got their hands on her, she wouldn’t have a chance. I’m not saying that all Final Fantasy VIII slash fans despise Rinoa – I’m very fond of Squall/Zell, and the amount of Rinoa-bashing drives me mad – but the vast majority of them seem to.
Squall Leonhart and Captain Jack Harkness get into an argument about what "defenestrate" means. Who wins, or does something catastrophic happen before a resolution can be reached?
Well, in a way they’re both correct: languages change over the course of time, and by the 51st century ‘defenestrate’ has become a sexual euphemism. Because they’re both right, nobody can win and the argument doesn’t end until a meteor crashes into the planet and hideous alien lifeforms begin pouring out of it. So yeah, something catastrophic happens first.
Dr. Cox ate James Sunderland. Describe Elliot Reid’s reaction. (I feel I should mention that the original question was ‘Seven ate nine. Describe six's reaction.’ and made me giggle more than it should have.)
Elliot would probably stare in disbelief, then babble incoherently for five minutes, and then she would hide from Dr. Cox, take some time to think it all over, assume that she was seeing things (probably the case; I can’t see Dr. Cox literally eating people) and go to panic at JD about the sudden onset of insanity.
Ben Sullivan and Squall Leonhart, sitting in a tree. Complete this paragraph.
...annoying his companion and becoming very annoyed indeed respectively. This is another thing that I would rather like to read.
Phineas Nigellus wakes up to find himself in a compromising position with Envy and James Sunderland. Does he assume it's a setup? Who does he blame?
He immediately knows that it’s a setup, because he’s hardly capable of getting into a compromising position of his own accord, being a portrait and all. Possibly it would have made sense to assume that it was still-alive Phineas, but I WILL ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS HOWEVER I WANT TO. He outwardly blames James, because Envy quickly makes it clear that he is very dangerous and so blaming him could be risky. Privately, though, he’s sure that Envy is responsible for this, mainly because of the manic giggle and the fact that James seems to be just as confused as he is.
Seifer Almasy and JD engage in a long, torrid relationship which finally ends when the Janitor draws JD aside, engaging in a meaningful heart-to-heart about true feelings, use, and abuse. (That may well be the most improbable sentence ever written.) JD, realizing that he's been selling himself short for lo these many years, seeks therapy from James Sunderland (GREAT CHOICE OF THERAPIST, JD). Seifer, in a fit of wrath, tries to get revenge on the Janitor and James (now this I can actually see happening), but mixes up the license plate numbers and winds up cutting Captain Jack Harkness's brakes and filling Pyramid Head's glove compartment full of fire ants. (Lots and lots of fire ants.) Meanwhile, JD has gone on to tentatively date Squall Leonhart, who's just recovering from a bad experience with Rinoa Heartilly (OH MY GOD SOMETHING THAT MAKES SENSE TREASURE IT IT WILL BE GONE IN A MOMENT) and certain irreconcilable theological differences. JD and Squall decide to form a barbershop quartet (See? Told you), and rope Dr. Cox and Ben Sullivan into it as well. Now consumed with jealousy, Seifer and Rinoa form their own quartet with Phineas Nigellus and Zell Dincht. (Sorry, guys, but my money’s on the JD/Squall/Cox/Ben quartet, which I think could actually be pretty awesome if they could persuade Cox and Squall to actually sing.) Finally, the two quartets demand arbitration by a neutral party – Elliot Reid – and spar off in a barber shop. (It amuses me that Elliot also actually judges a barbershop face-off in Scrubs canon.) However, all is not resolved! Pyramid Head, stung multiple times by the fire ants, has mutated into Captain FireAnt, and – filled with a fiery anger! – decides to take his revenge for his bitter (burning) transformation on EVERYONE! He charges at Elliot, mandibles ready to rend and tear!
Who steps in front of this ravening beast to save Elliot's life?
Firstly, this is the awesomest question ever.
Secondly: are you freaking kidding me? Nobody would be bold enough to stand up to regular Pyramid Head, let alone fire-ant hybrid Pyramid Head. No, wait, I take that back. The Janitor would do it, to protect Elliot. He’d somehow manage to defeat it, too. The fight scene would be awesome and involve a mop.
Squall Leonhart, Ben Sullivan and James Sunderland are out for a midnight stroll when suddenly OH NOES, they are attacked by zombies. How do they react?
James goes absolutely mad, because of course the zombies spark rather unpleasant memories of the less enjoyable of his trips to Silent Hill. He runs and hides. Ben stares for a moment, and then cracks up laughing. Possibly he tries to mimic the lurching zombie walk, just for the hell of it. Squall just takes out his gunblade. (Some of you need to scrub out your minds with soap, honestly.)
Elliot Reid and Phineas Nigellus have been going out for two years now, and Elliot has decided to pop the question. How does she go about preparing for this, how does the actual scene go, and what is Phineas's reply?
It's really a spur-of-the-moment thing.
“I,” he said slowly, staring at her, “am a portrait of a married man who has been dead for some considerable time. You are an irritating girl who has, for some inexplicable reason, been coming into my office and speaking to me – with very little regard for whether I personally would appreciate your company, which, by the way, I do not – every day for almost two years. You are now... proposing to me. Might I suggest, with all the respect that is due to you – which is very little, in my opinion – that you have recently been on the receiving end of a Confundus Charm?”
“You – ” She swallowed, blinking back tears. “You reminded me of someone I know.”
“And that, of course, explains everything.”
Envy, Seifer Almasy, James Sunderland, and Pyramid Head are all living together. Envy wants to get a dog, but Pyramid Head is strongly against the idea. Seifer and James both couldn't really care less. How does Envy convince everyone to let a dog take up residence in their house?
First, Envy tries to kill Pyramid Head. When that fails, he kills Seifer and James out of frustration, even though they’re not really standing in the way of his getting a dog. Then he begins sneaking dogs into the house. Pyramid Head keeps finding and decapitating them, but Envy continues to bring in more and more dogs. Eventually he collects together as many dogs as he can find, hunts down Tucker and forces him to make them all into a gigantic chimera dog so powerful that it is actually capable of defending itself against Pyramid Head.
JD and the Janitor are eating at an ice cream parlour. What kind of ice cream do they get? Now, Zell Dincht drops in and joins them. What kind of ice cream does Zell get? What do they start talking about, as they eat their ice creams?
JD is very enthusiastic about getting ice-cream at first, but then he realises that the Janitor is there and that, whatever he gets, he’s probably not going to be able to eat it because he’ll be too worried that the Janitor’s doused it with bleach or done something similarly horrible. Ever the optimist, however, he eventually chooses a chocolate ice-cream with chocolate chips, hides it under the table and pretends that he didn’t get anything.
JD somehow manages to offend the Janitor about three seconds into their conversation by implying that he’s a janitor. Never mind that he is a janitor: he’s offended, dammit, and when JD tries to start up a reasonably sane conversation by asking what kind of ice-cream he chose, he says that it’s mop flavour, obviously, he’s just a stupid janitor with no life. JD shuts up fairly quickly.
When Zell enters and chooses a chocolate chocolate-chip ice-cream, JD, forgetting that he’s supposed to be pretending that he doesn’t have an ice-cream, happily says that hey, he got that too, and also that tattoo is awesome and where did he get it? (cue fantasy sequence of tattoo-covered super-cool JD.) Zell happily joins them, and he and JD start rambling at each other about assorted TV programmes and the hero-worshipping of aloof people. The Janitor immediately despises Zell and begins plotting ways of making the lives of both of them a misery.
To end on a completely random note, I am very much enjoying the first Sly Cooper game! I am very, very bad at it, and at the moment I'm completely stuck on a stupid lorry race, but I am enjoying it nevertheless! I particularly like making Sly scamper up ladders and along ropes, because HE PUTS HIS SICKLE THING IN HIS MOUTH IT IS ADORABLE.
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The band is called ‘SKREEEARKAKSAGF’. Harkness wanted ‘The Innuendo Squad’, but Pyramid Head wanted ‘SKREEEARKAKSAGF’, and you just don’t argue with Pyramid Head.
DARE YOU TO WRITE IT.
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Also omg I need HELP, oh girl of all things Scrubs slash! Tell me the best J.D/Cox-ish episodes to download? *...may or may not be fanvidding. um.*
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Um, okay, although I'm not sure I'll be able to think of that many! Er, I suppose it depends partially on whether you'll be stripping the dialogue out or not.
Ones that could work for dialogueless vids (the actual moments are almost all Cox mocking JD, which really shouldn't be surprising):
- My New Coat - JD stares at Cox's crotch.
- My Last Day - Cox actually hugs JD! The universe implodes!
- My Mentor and My Old Friend's New Friend - fake almost-hugs.
- My Nickname - Cox puts his arm around JD's back. This doesn't sound as slashy as it looks. There's a shot of it in icon number 16 of this icon post. Icon 17 comes from the episode 'My Two Dads', if you're interested.
- I suppose you could use JD putting his hand on Cox's shoulder in My Screwup (waaaaaah!), which is so sad and adorable, but it feels weird suggesting an episode that's so much about the relationship between Cox and Ben for JD/Cox. YES I KNOW THAT I AM STRANGE AND TAKE COX/BEN WAY WAY WAY TOO SERIOUSLY.
ALAS I CANNOT THINK OF ANY MORE! THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS NOT SUFFICIENTLY VISUAL! If I spot any more good episodes, though, I'll let you know.
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Oh man, I love My Mentor. Spooning! And JD lists Cox as one of the 'people he loves'! Eeeee.
Omg is it wrong of me to want JD/Ben just a little bit?
Thank you for this! Shall let you know when it's done. *g*
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IT IS SO NOT WRONG OF YOU. I CRAVE JD/COX/BEN AND EVERY POSSIBLE PERMUTATION THEREOF SO MUCH. SO SO MUCH.
I look forward to it!
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And I was so tickled to see Phineas on the list--I think my very favorite one was:
Elliot Reid and Phineas Nigellus have been going out for two years now, and Elliot has decided to pop the question. How does she go about preparing for this, how does the actual scene go, and what is Phineas's reply?
It's really a spur-of-the-moment thing.
“I,” he said slowly, staring at her, “am a portrait of a married man who has been dead for some considerable time. You are an irritating girl who has, for some inexplicable reason, been coming into my office and speaking to me – with very little regard for whether I personally would appreciate your company, which, by the way, I do not – every day for almost two years. You are now... proposing to me. Might I suggest, with all the respect that is due to you – which is very little, in my opinion – that you have recently been on the receiving end of a Confundus Charm?”
“You – ” She swallowed, blinking back tears. “You reminded me of someone I know.”
“And that, of course, explains everything.”
Now that you mention it, Phineas is rather like Dr. Cox, isn't he?
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(The forbidden dance is the lambada. It is called the forbidden dance because it is both a dance and a auto-erotic experience!
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*Or perish.
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I am so naming my band "SKREEEARKAKSAGF". ...I don't have a band, but I'll get one just so I can name it that.
*adds the whole thing to memories so she can come back and read it again. And again. And again. Because it's THAT AWESOME.*
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I notice that you didn't ask any questions. If that was just because you missed the question post, what with the being-away and all, you can comment here with questions using random character numbers from one to fifteen and I'd be happy to answer them. If you don't particularly want to, I'm just glad you enjoyed the nonsense!
I will totally buy every album that SKREEEARKAKSAGF makes. It will be glorious.
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By the way, I never heard what you thought of the FMA movie!
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y = 5 + cos8 - 12x^2
flipping variables: x = 5 + cos8 - 12y^2
12y^2 = 5 + cos 8 - x
y^2 = (5 + cos 8 - x)/12
y = sqr ((5 + cos 8 - x)/12)
f(-1)(x) = sqr ((Zell Dincht + cos Seifer Almasy - x)/Captain Jack Harkness) BUT WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?
I actually just got around to watching the FMA movie this morning! My reaction can be summed up briefly as follows (put behind spoiler-blackout in case anyone should be browsing the comments who wants to see it):
Envy: I’m a dragon!
Hughes: I’m a Nazi!
Alphonse: I’m disturbingly attractive for a thirteen-year-old!
Wrath: I’m good!
Gluttony: I’m this really weird hydra-Gluttony assless freak!
Alfons: I’m some random guy! Now I am dead!
Riona: I am so confused!
Possibly more coherent thoughts may be to come later. POSSIBLY NOT.
Hey, have you watched any Scrubs yet?
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Fine, then. Four, six, eleven, and thirteen are suffering at the hands of some serious badfic authors and have been sent to Hogwarts. What kinds of crap are they forced to endure, what makes them finally snap, and what revenge do they inflict on the story/author when that happens? And finally, why can't that REALLY happen when characters are being mistreated, eh?
*amused by your reaction to the FMA movie and wondering if she is in fact the only person who actually thought the movie made SENSE (ignoring one or two minor plotholes)* Srsly, I feel stupid for getting the movie at this point. Everyone else seems convinced it makes no sense, so I must REALLY be missing something. o.O
Scrubs has to wait until after exams. :(
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ROFLROFLMAO.
James reminisces about Mary in the back seat, and eventually falls asleep all curled up and hugging his jacket.
Awwww!
OH MY GOSH I WANT TO READ ZELL AND HOLMES AND JAMES HAVING A WACKY MYSTERY ADVENTURE AKHFDOHFUDSFJEDUIFHSUDU
Pyramid Head plays the triangle.
I HART U
Sherlock Holmes would probably be an excellent cheerleader, but he’d pretend not to be; Watson would lurk in the background and record his cheerleading escapades.
HEEEEAAAART
He charges at Elliot, mandibles ready to rend and tear!
*LMAO* Whose question was that?
Man, you win at memes. As always.
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The ridiculously long question was, as I think you may have suspected, the evil evil work of
And thank you! So many of these question scenarios need to be written, seriously.
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I'm, er, sorry?
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FWEET IS THE SOUND OF MY BRAIN GIVING UP AND ESCAPING THROUGH THE WINDOW.
Seriously, that's probably the most frightening concept ever created. I filled in the character names and then spent about five minutes staring at the screen with my eyebrow twitching.
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(Zombies!)
hehhe:D
(Anonymous) 2006-06-05 12:38 pm (UTC)(link)i reli do
pleaz love me bak
i love u
thanks babe
i reli wud like 2 b m8z?
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...oh dear God.
Okay, I kind of doubt that the father’s going to stick around. Elliot, utterly traumatised, is going to name the bloodstained half-metal baby Hellspawn and desperately try to get rid of it before it kills anyone. Eventually she will throw it in a river, but it will crawl out and a series of mysterious patient deaths will occur, culminating in the death of Dr. Cox. Elliot, thinking the entire affair her fault, will wander numbly into Silent Hill.
It would be awful. The thought distresses me deeply.
Now that I know who Elliot is, I am SO VERY VERY VERY SORRY.
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...er, yes, I am forgiving you while using my Angry!Cox icon. I think I'm just taking every opportunity to use it.