Riona (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rionaleonhart) wrote2004-05-30 08:15 am
rionaleonhart) wrote2004-05-30 08:15 am
Entry tags:
*cracks up*
http://www.prillalar.com/drabbles/
I find this thing absolutely hilarious.
To Chirpily Whirl
Cloud and Sephiroth were celebrating a chocobo-like Valentine's Day together. Cloud had cooked a silvery dinner and they ate against a tree by candlelight.
"My darling," Sephiroth said, stroking Cloud's thumbnail, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Cloud. "It is but a crazed token of my terrifying love."
Cloud opened the box. Inside was a flaming explosion! He gazed at it softly. Then he gazed at Sephiroth softly. "It's insane," Cloud said. "Come here and let me whirl you."
Just then, a smirking crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like the explosions, the burning fires of Nibelheim. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a beautiful voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Sephiroth read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."
They stared at each other sexily as the crone cackled some more. Cloud's eye began to tremble. Then Sephiroth shrugged, pulled out a thought, and hit the crone on her hair. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Cloud said and kissed Sephiroth twistedly. "This is an evil Valentine's Day!"
They dangerously burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they whirled each other all night long.
(Heh... giving Cloud a flaming explosion as a Valentine's Day gift? Sounds like Sephiroth to me.)
Cloud and Sephiroth
by William Shakespeare
Enter Cloud
Sephiroth appears above at a window
Cloud:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the Restore materia, and Sephiroth is the Moogle.
Arise, terrifying Moogle, and whirl the chocobo-like explosion.
See, how he leans his hair upon his thumbnail!
O, that I were a glove upon that thumbnail,
That I might touch that hair!
Sephiroth:
O Cloud, Cloud! wherefore art thou Cloud?
What's in a name? That which we call an eye
By any other name would smell as beautiful
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like the explosions, the burning fires of Nibelheim"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove insane.
Cloud:
Swain, by yonder chocobo-like explosion I swear
That tips against a tree the silvery thought--
Sephiroth:
O, swear not by the explosion, the flaming explosion,
That dangerously changes in its evil orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise evil.
Sweet, smirking night! A thousand times smirking night!
Parting is such crazed sorrow,
That I shall say smirking night till it be morrow.
Exit above
Cloud:
Sleep dwell upon thy hair, peace in thy thumbnail!
Would I were sleep and peace, so sexily to rest!
chirpily will I to my terrifying eye's cell,
Its help to whirl, and my beautiful eye to tell.
(...help me, can't breathe... *crazed giggling*)
An Insane Occurrence (oh, what an accurate title!)
Cloud paced up and down, jiggling his thumbnail. His very good friend, Mary Sue Thought, had arranged to meet him here against a tree. "I have something beautiful to tell you," she had said.
Mary Sue Thought was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Cloud expected to see her bounce up, her chocobo-like hair streaming behind her and her terrifying eyes aglow. (Isn't Cloud the one with 'chocobo-like hair'? Although I rather like the 'terrifying eyes'...)
Cloud heard footsteps, but they seemed rather evil (Sephiroth's footsteps sound evil. That kind of makes sense...) for a delicate and silvery girl like Mary Sue Thought, whose tread was flaming. He turned around and found Sephiroth staring at him.
"What are you doing here?" Sephiroth said sexily. (but of course!) "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."
Cloud had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so chirpily. "Mary Sue Thought asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Sephiroth, his hair began to throb softly.
"Oh," Sephiroth said, twistedly. "I'll just go then."
"Wait," Cloud said and caught Sephiroth by his eye (OW). "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Yes," Sephiroth said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like the explosions, the burning fires of Nibelheim.
From behind a Restore materia, Mary Sue Thought watched with a crazed light in her smirking eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Cloud/Sephiroth". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the Moogle from extinction.
Crazed Love
Cloud finished packing. Ever since Sephiroth, his own true love, had been lost at sea, Cloud had been chocobo-like.
There was nothing left for him anymore, nothing whirled him, all was smirking. So today, Valentine's Day, he was going against a tree to become a beautiful explosion.
Just then, there was a flaming knock at the door. Cloud opened it and stood there chirpily for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising his eye.
When Cloud came to, Sephiroth was holding his hair and looking silvery. "My love," Sephiroth said sexily, "I'm sorry for the insane shock. I've been shipwrecked on an evil island for the last ten years, living like the explosions, the burning fires of Nibelheim. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my thumbnail in the wreck. Can you still love me?"
Cloud could hardly believe his Sephiroth had returned. "I will always love you, thumbnail or no thumbnail. Besides, you can cover it up with a Restore materia."
They embraced dangerously and vowed to never be parted again.
And all was terrifying.
Sexily Tripping
Cloud tripped along dangerously. He was on his way to meet his lover, Sephiroth, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a Moogle hopping along, carrying a Restore materia in its mouth.
Cloud was almost against a tree when he came across a crazed cake, lying alone on a beautiful plate. "That must be a treat from my smirking bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked flaming, so he ate it.
It gave him the most evil tingling sensation in his eye. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Sephiroth.
When Sephiroth came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Cloud cried softly.
"Your hair! And your thumbnail!" Sephiroth said. "They're insane! Can't you feel it?"
Cloud felt his hair and his thumbnail. They were indeed quite insane. "Oh, no!" Cloud said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that crazed cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Sephiroth said. "I got you a thought. It must have been that terrifying man who lives nearby. He acts a little chirpily, ever since he whirled an explosion."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Cloud sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Sephiroth said twistedly, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your hair is really silvery like that."
"Really?" Cloud dried her tears. Cloud kissed Sephiroth and it was an entirely chocobo-like sensation, like the explosions, the burning fires of Nibelheim.
They spent the night having entirely chocobo-like sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.
I find this thing absolutely hilarious.
To Chirpily Whirl
Cloud and Sephiroth were celebrating a chocobo-like Valentine's Day together. Cloud had cooked a silvery dinner and they ate against a tree by candlelight.
"My darling," Sephiroth said, stroking Cloud's thumbnail, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Cloud. "It is but a crazed token of my terrifying love."
Cloud opened the box. Inside was a flaming explosion! He gazed at it softly. Then he gazed at Sephiroth softly. "It's insane," Cloud said. "Come here and let me whirl you."
Just then, a smirking crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like the explosions, the burning fires of Nibelheim. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a beautiful voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Sephiroth read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."
They stared at each other sexily as the crone cackled some more. Cloud's eye began to tremble. Then Sephiroth shrugged, pulled out a thought, and hit the crone on her hair. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Cloud said and kissed Sephiroth twistedly. "This is an evil Valentine's Day!"
They dangerously burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they whirled each other all night long.
(Heh... giving Cloud a flaming explosion as a Valentine's Day gift? Sounds like Sephiroth to me.)
Cloud and Sephiroth
by William Shakespeare
Enter Cloud
Sephiroth appears above at a window
Cloud:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the Restore materia, and Sephiroth is the Moogle.
Arise, terrifying Moogle, and whirl the chocobo-like explosion.
See, how he leans his hair upon his thumbnail!
O, that I were a glove upon that thumbnail,
That I might touch that hair!
Sephiroth:
O Cloud, Cloud! wherefore art thou Cloud?
What's in a name? That which we call an eye
By any other name would smell as beautiful
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like the explosions, the burning fires of Nibelheim"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove insane.
Cloud:
Swain, by yonder chocobo-like explosion I swear
That tips against a tree the silvery thought--
Sephiroth:
O, swear not by the explosion, the flaming explosion,
That dangerously changes in its evil orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise evil.
Sweet, smirking night! A thousand times smirking night!
Parting is such crazed sorrow,
That I shall say smirking night till it be morrow.
Exit above
Cloud:
Sleep dwell upon thy hair, peace in thy thumbnail!
Would I were sleep and peace, so sexily to rest!
chirpily will I to my terrifying eye's cell,
Its help to whirl, and my beautiful eye to tell.
(...help me, can't breathe... *crazed giggling*)
An Insane Occurrence (oh, what an accurate title!)
Cloud paced up and down, jiggling his thumbnail. His very good friend, Mary Sue Thought, had arranged to meet him here against a tree. "I have something beautiful to tell you," she had said.
Mary Sue Thought was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Cloud expected to see her bounce up, her chocobo-like hair streaming behind her and her terrifying eyes aglow. (Isn't Cloud the one with 'chocobo-like hair'? Although I rather like the 'terrifying eyes'...)
Cloud heard footsteps, but they seemed rather evil (Sephiroth's footsteps sound evil. That kind of makes sense...) for a delicate and silvery girl like Mary Sue Thought, whose tread was flaming. He turned around and found Sephiroth staring at him.
"What are you doing here?" Sephiroth said sexily. (but of course!) "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."
Cloud had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so chirpily. "Mary Sue Thought asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Sephiroth, his hair began to throb softly.
"Oh," Sephiroth said, twistedly. "I'll just go then."
"Wait," Cloud said and caught Sephiroth by his eye (OW). "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Yes," Sephiroth said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like the explosions, the burning fires of Nibelheim.
From behind a Restore materia, Mary Sue Thought watched with a crazed light in her smirking eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Cloud/Sephiroth". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the Moogle from extinction.
Crazed Love
Cloud finished packing. Ever since Sephiroth, his own true love, had been lost at sea, Cloud had been chocobo-like.
There was nothing left for him anymore, nothing whirled him, all was smirking. So today, Valentine's Day, he was going against a tree to become a beautiful explosion.
Just then, there was a flaming knock at the door. Cloud opened it and stood there chirpily for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising his eye.
When Cloud came to, Sephiroth was holding his hair and looking silvery. "My love," Sephiroth said sexily, "I'm sorry for the insane shock. I've been shipwrecked on an evil island for the last ten years, living like the explosions, the burning fires of Nibelheim. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my thumbnail in the wreck. Can you still love me?"
Cloud could hardly believe his Sephiroth had returned. "I will always love you, thumbnail or no thumbnail. Besides, you can cover it up with a Restore materia."
They embraced dangerously and vowed to never be parted again.
And all was terrifying.
Sexily Tripping
Cloud tripped along dangerously. He was on his way to meet his lover, Sephiroth, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a Moogle hopping along, carrying a Restore materia in its mouth.
Cloud was almost against a tree when he came across a crazed cake, lying alone on a beautiful plate. "That must be a treat from my smirking bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked flaming, so he ate it.
It gave him the most evil tingling sensation in his eye. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Sephiroth.
When Sephiroth came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Cloud cried softly.
"Your hair! And your thumbnail!" Sephiroth said. "They're insane! Can't you feel it?"
Cloud felt his hair and his thumbnail. They were indeed quite insane. "Oh, no!" Cloud said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that crazed cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Sephiroth said. "I got you a thought. It must have been that terrifying man who lives nearby. He acts a little chirpily, ever since he whirled an explosion."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Cloud sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Sephiroth said twistedly, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your hair is really silvery like that."
"Really?" Cloud dried her tears. Cloud kissed Sephiroth and it was an entirely chocobo-like sensation, like the explosions, the burning fires of Nibelheim.
They spent the night having entirely chocobo-like sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.
no subject
[Then Sephiroth shrugged, pulled out a thought, and hit the crone on her hair.
Then Sephiroth shrugged, pulled out a thought, and hit the crone on her hair.
"Your hair! And your thumbnail!" Sephiroth said. "They're insane! Can't you feel it?"
Cloud felt his hair and his thumbnail. They were indeed quite insane. "Oh, no!" Cloud said. "I'm a woman!"]
no subject
XD how ver like Cloud.
The last story had be laughing my ass off.. hell- this entire post had be laughing my ass off. Thaaats beautiful stuff man XD I love add lib things.