rionaleonhart | There May Well Be Some Sort Of 'Ianto's Back! ...LOL FOOLED YOU' Moment.

My mum, reminiscing about her schooldays: 'We had a groundsman who we all fancied. And then we decided he was full of himself, so we all turned against him and locked him in a shed.'

Torchwood: Miracle Day begins tomorrow in the UK (nine o'clock, BBC One)! I've been a bit torn on whether to watch it, because I really don't know what level of quality to expect from Torchwood (in my opinion, Children of Earth was well worth watching but the first two series were largely dire), but I suppose I have to at least give it a try.

Here are my predictions for Miracle Day, bearing in mind that I know nothing but the basic concept:

- Captain Jack will have sexual tension with at least three characters and will kiss at least one. Large parts of the Jack/Ianto fandom will consider this a personal taunt and write furious screeds.

- The person Jack kisses will be female (or one of the people, if he kisses more than one). Two days later, fandom_wank will report on someone who believes, despite the fact that Jack's sexuality is and always has been 'yes, I'll shag that', that this means Jack is being 'made straight'.

- Captain Jack will make at least three references to previous boyfriends/girlfriends (e.g. 'I once dated a guy with three heads'); one of these will clearly be Ianto, although he won't be referred to by name.

- Myfanwy will be mentioned. Tosh and Owen, sadly, will not.

- The main plot will be resolved in episode four, and the remaining six episodes will be devoted to Jack having time-travelling sky-pirating sexual-tensioning adventures with Balthier and Fran of Final Fantasy XII. Let me dream.

- There will be at least four jokes about Wales, despite the fact that it is no longer set there.

- There will be an average of one explosion per episode.

- Someone will backflip whilst shooting.

- There will be a fight sequence on top of a train. Or on top of an aeroplane, because trains aren't quite ridiculous enough for Torchwood.

- We will learn that Rhys writes fanfiction.

- Rhys will die. I will be extremely distressed by this. In fact, I have quite a specific theory about this: Rhys will be mortally wounded near the end of the series, and Gwen will be forced to undo the 'miracle' knowing that in doing so she will cause his death.

- Oh, hang on, Gwen was pregnant, wasn't she? Gwen has a baby and the baby is you.

Again, these are pure speculation. I've no idea what is going to happen. Let's find out! (Any predictions of your own?)

(I'm being a bit ungenerous to the Torchwood fandom in the first two points, I suspect. This is because I've never really been involved in the fandom, so the only parts I've been exposed to are the really scary parts that occasionally rear up to alarm fandom in general. I'm sure the majority of Torchwood fans are perfectly lovely and reasonable; certainly the ones on my flist are.)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I don't think I will bother with Miracle Day, unless people on my friendslist go OH MY GOD YOU SHOULD SEE IT BECAUSE IT HAS THESE AMAZING THINGS HAPPENING IN IT.

My predictions: Team Torchwood is going to be completely useless, and at some point fuck up in such a way that a bad outcome is caused directly by their actions.

I also heard it's going to involve PC Andy, which seriously makes me wonder just HOW he's involved.

Team Torchwood is going to be completely useless, and at some point fuck up in such a way that a bad outcome is caused directly by their actions.

Well, that almost goes without saying. Although perhaps they'll be more efficient now that 60% of the team has been wiped out? Who knows?

Well, regular mediums can get by with stating the obvious, so can I :p.

"Although perhaps they'll be more efficient now that 60% of the team has been wiped out?"

I don't know, Tosh and Ianto were never the most useless ones. Mind, Gwen usually has some sense, and so does Rhys, so maybe they can balance out Jack.

Yeah. I mean I always hated Owen, but he had actual skills, and Tosh was a genius. Now we have a policewoman and Jack's...skills at Jack Harknessing up the place.

Edited 2011-07-14 01:36 (UTC)

I know a very minor spoiler as regards points 1 and 2 from an interview I read with Barrowman. I won't reveal unless you want me too.

I've also seen the 1st episode (since for once, being an American works out), but won't say anything. Also, though the American versions may be shorter, they are supposedly sexier. Too sexy for post-watershed BBC apparently.

Thank you for holding back on spoilers! (And I hadn't heard about the censorship! I'm very curious now about what's going to be censored. I suppose the Internet will work it out as the UK episodes air.)

- The main plot will be resolved in episode four, and the remaining six episodes will be devoted to Jack having time-travelling sky-pirating sexual-tensioning adventures with Balthier and Fran of Final Fantasy XII. Let me dream.

When this does not happen, you must use it as an excuse to go back to writing Time Travelling Sky Pirates of Ivalice. :P

Why on Earth would it not happen? I don't understand.

I am tickled by how accurate this will no doubt be! But I can't with Torchwood anymore. I gave it its chance. Even one of the TV guides this week was all SERIOUSLY? WE'RE STILL WITH THE TORCHWOOD THING?

SIGH.

If we learned that Rhys writes fanfiction, that would get me to watch. Otherwise, I don't think I can be bothered.

(Although now I kind of want to write a second person fic about you, the reader, as Gwen's baby. Actually, no, I don't.)

These made me crack up, ahaha.

Oh man, Torchwood fandom. Back when I was still RP'ing at ST_D, I mentioned how useless Torchwood 3 were in a joke (a joke about Top Gear, no less) and accidentally started a flame-war with the other seven players because THEY ARE NOT USELESS THEY ARE HIGHLY COMPETENT IN REGARDS TO EVERYTHING THEY DO CLEARLY YOU ARE WRONG ABOUT THEM BEING USELESS.

I'm fairly certain you're predictions are all spot-on. Fandom is a scary place, especially the rabid end.

- We will learn that Rhys writes fanfiction.
This has to be canon already. He's probably a BNF. Jack probably loves his work. Cough.

And while yes it seems the Doctor Who people run out of last names, and so yes we've already had Sarah Jane Smith and Mickey Smith and Martha Jones and Ianto Jones, it better come out somehow that Rhys Williams and Rory Williams are cousins. Because it is so perfect.

But yeah, Rhys is my number one. It used to be Owen after he died the first time, but um, then the second time happened so...

I suspect Torchwood fandom is like Supernatural fandom - I keep meeting all of the lovely and mellow people who write fic and agree to disagree and understand things like "It is possible to like Sam and Dean both, to varying degrees" and "It is possible to dislike incest ships to the point of not wanting to read the fic while not thinking all incest fans are horrible and unworthy of being allowed on the internet" and not the people who turn up on fandom_wank who are all "I am the real wife of Jensen Ackles! Daneel Harris is just some crazy stalker putting out fake news articles to fool the press!" (And I still think the "Daneel Harris and Genevieve Cortese are both lesbians!" people are wasting a good tinhat - if I was going to sit around imagining they were secretly lesbians, I'd come up up something a lot more fun than "That means their husbands can secretly be in love with each other, instead!"*)

That being said, I'm quite sure your first two predictions will prove correct. A lot of people in fandom fail to grasp the difference between "Exclusively gay guy suddenly hooking up with a woman" and "Guy who's had a long-established history of sudden hook-ups with men and women (and various other beings) suddenly hooking up with a woman". (Not to mention the difference between "This is the pairing I personally prefer" and "THEIR LOVE IS THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD AND YOU ARE STOMPING ON GOD IF YOU SUGGEST EITHER OF THESE CHARACTERS MIGHT HAVE HAD A SEXUAL THOUGHT ABOUT ANYONE ELSE!")

I've seen the first episode already (due to a combination of me not having the pay TV channel that it's being shown on here and the fact that it's already been shown in America), and I'm giggling at the amount of truthiness that you've written here. Gwen's baby is definitely me! 8D

Rhys will die. I will be extremely distressed by this. In fact, I have quite a specific theory about this: Rhys will be mortally wounded near the end of the series, and Gwen will be forced to undo the 'miracle' knowing that in doing so she will cause his death.

Ooh! Ooh! Brain twin! This has been my theory for months, too!

I haven't seen the first episode yet either, but I also predict that Jack will be mortally wounded at least 5 times this season.

LOL TORCHWOOD.

That is all.

There May Well Be Some Sort Of 'Ianto's Back! ...LOL FOOLED YOU' Moment.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject