Riona (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rionaleonhart) wrote2016-09-10 11:51 am
rionaleonhart) wrote2016-09-10 11:51 am
Hello, Keith.
I went to a recording of The Unbelievable Truth a few days ago! The panellists were John Finnemore, Lucy Porter, Jeremy Hardy and Frankie Boyle; the host, as ever, was David Mitchell. It's the first time I've seen Lucy Porter live; she's never entirely worked for me on the radio, but I quite enjoyed her here.
I don't think I'll ever reach the ridiculous lengths of my recording recaps in my university days, but I actually remember a handful of things!
The aim in The Unbelievable Truth, if anyone's unfamiliar with the rules, is to spot the ridiculous truths concealed in a lecture composed almost entirely of nonsense. Finnemore, lecturing on the subject 'Donald Trump', opened with, 'Donald Trump is the current Republican nominee for the office of President of the United States.'
Porter: ...
Hardy: ...
Boyle: ...
Hardy: (buzzes, very hesitantly)
Mitchell: Jeremy.
Hardy: I mean... God help us, but that is true, isn't it?
Mitchell: Yes, it is, in fact, true.
Hardy: I thought for a moment maybe I'd woken up and it had all been a horrible dream.
Finnemore: It's a game about ridiculous, unbelievable facts. I had to open with that one.
Other apparently true facts I've now learnt about Donald Trump: his failed business ventures include 'Trump Steaks', 'Trump Vodka', 'Trump: The Game', 'Trump Magazine', 'Trump University', 'Tour de Trump' (an American version of the Tour de France, apparently - although, given the name, perhaps the bikes would just be riding over Trump himself) and a travel website called 'GoTrump.com', and he once wrestled another millionaire to the ground and forcibly shaved him.
Porter: A woman stabbed her husband at their wedding reception with the knife used to cut the cake. He survived but spent the rest of the night in tiers.
Mitchell: I've always found the cake-cutting part of weddings very dull. The sense of jeopardy might help to enliven things.
Porter: It's more exciting when they snap each other's necks in the first dance.
One of Finnemore's claims in his lecture on spies was that David Mitchell had been recruited by MI6. Jeremy Hardy buzzed it as true.
Mitchell: Unfortunately, that is not true.
Hardy: But that's what you'd say if you had been, isn't it?
Mitchell: No, no, I'm not a spy.
(Finnemore resumes lecture)
Mitchell: (in a very loud 'confidential' whisper) I AM.
Porter: Whereas China has the Great Wall of China, Great Yarmouth has the Wall of Great Yarmouth, which runs the length of Great Yarmouth and is the only manmade structure visible from Great Yarmouth.
Finnemore: (buzzes on Porter's lecture) ...oh, I don't like Lucy's smile.
Mitchell: There's no need to be rude.
Later, Finnemore declared, 'I don't like Frankie's haircut' - but it had been too long for a call-back and, for a strange, uncomfortable instant, it seemed like he was just insulting Boyle out of the blue. He very hastily explained his intention.
Mitchell: (on snail racing) Unfortunately, it's been discovered that the practice of removing the snails' shells 'to make them go faster' actually just makes them sluggish.
Finnemore screwed up several retakes of one line, eventually cursing and throwing his script across the stage mid-sentence.
'You know, you worry a lot about tiny details,' Mitchell said, 'but that last take was fine.'
Producer: All that remains is for me to tell you that this will be broadcast... (checking dates)
Finnemore(?): Hooray!
Producer: This will be broadcast on the...
Hardy: Radio.
Entirely unrelatedly: there's a picture of Winhill in Esthar's Presidential Palace. I never noticed it before, in all the thousands of times I've played Final Fantasy VIII. Oh, Laguna.
I don't think I'll ever reach the ridiculous lengths of my recording recaps in my university days, but I actually remember a handful of things!
The aim in The Unbelievable Truth, if anyone's unfamiliar with the rules, is to spot the ridiculous truths concealed in a lecture composed almost entirely of nonsense. Finnemore, lecturing on the subject 'Donald Trump', opened with, 'Donald Trump is the current Republican nominee for the office of President of the United States.'
Porter: ...
Hardy: ...
Boyle: ...
Hardy: (buzzes, very hesitantly)
Mitchell: Jeremy.
Hardy: I mean... God help us, but that is true, isn't it?
Mitchell: Yes, it is, in fact, true.
Hardy: I thought for a moment maybe I'd woken up and it had all been a horrible dream.
Finnemore: It's a game about ridiculous, unbelievable facts. I had to open with that one.
Other apparently true facts I've now learnt about Donald Trump: his failed business ventures include 'Trump Steaks', 'Trump Vodka', 'Trump: The Game', 'Trump Magazine', 'Trump University', 'Tour de Trump' (an American version of the Tour de France, apparently - although, given the name, perhaps the bikes would just be riding over Trump himself) and a travel website called 'GoTrump.com', and he once wrestled another millionaire to the ground and forcibly shaved him.
Porter: A woman stabbed her husband at their wedding reception with the knife used to cut the cake. He survived but spent the rest of the night in tiers.
Mitchell: I've always found the cake-cutting part of weddings very dull. The sense of jeopardy might help to enliven things.
Porter: It's more exciting when they snap each other's necks in the first dance.
One of Finnemore's claims in his lecture on spies was that David Mitchell had been recruited by MI6. Jeremy Hardy buzzed it as true.
Mitchell: Unfortunately, that is not true.
Hardy: But that's what you'd say if you had been, isn't it?
Mitchell: No, no, I'm not a spy.
(Finnemore resumes lecture)
Mitchell: (in a very loud 'confidential' whisper) I AM.
Porter: Whereas China has the Great Wall of China, Great Yarmouth has the Wall of Great Yarmouth, which runs the length of Great Yarmouth and is the only manmade structure visible from Great Yarmouth.
Finnemore: (buzzes on Porter's lecture) ...oh, I don't like Lucy's smile.
Mitchell: There's no need to be rude.
Later, Finnemore declared, 'I don't like Frankie's haircut' - but it had been too long for a call-back and, for a strange, uncomfortable instant, it seemed like he was just insulting Boyle out of the blue. He very hastily explained his intention.
Mitchell: (on snail racing) Unfortunately, it's been discovered that the practice of removing the snails' shells 'to make them go faster' actually just makes them sluggish.
Finnemore screwed up several retakes of one line, eventually cursing and throwing his script across the stage mid-sentence.
'You know, you worry a lot about tiny details,' Mitchell said, 'but that last take was fine.'
Producer: All that remains is for me to tell you that this will be broadcast... (checking dates)
Finnemore(?): Hooray!
Producer: This will be broadcast on the...
Hardy: Radio.
Entirely unrelatedly: there's a picture of Winhill in Esthar's Presidential Palace. I never noticed it before, in all the thousands of times I've played Final Fantasy VIII. Oh, Laguna.
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