Riona (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rionaleonhart) wrote2019-01-04 10:48 am
rionaleonhart) wrote2019-01-04 10:48 am
Entry tags:
Old Fanfiction Book Club: Rachel's Pokémon Journey, Part Two
Previously on Old Fanfiction Book Club: Riona Rachel and Danielle were assigned their starter Pokémon and rivals without any personal input, because apparently twelve-year-old Riona was determined to remove any element of choice from the Pokémon universe. I've always been terrible at making decisions, so perhaps my escapist fantasy was a world where I wouldn't have to make any.
"Got any plans for the future? What Pokémon are you planning to catch?" I asked Danielle as we strolled along, with Bulba (her Bulbasaur) at her heels, having refused to get into its Pokéball. Come to think of it, so did Secret. After a couple of hours, the two friends and their Pokémon could converse freely with each other, and when I tried to recall Secret it cried "No! I'm not going back it there! It's cramped, it's smelly..." here she gave a sly Vulpix grin, "...and there's no decent toilets either."
YES, THE POKÉMON ARE GOING TO TALK IN THIS FIC. Apparently it only takes a couple of hours to become fluent in the language of any given Pokémon species.
Both our Pokémon conveniently refuse to get into their Pokéballs. Apparently 'just having your Pokémon out of their Pokéballs by choice' was a possibility that hadn't occurred to me. (Again, there's no choice allowed in this world.)
I can't really envision a 'sly Vulpix grin'. Also, 'the two friends and their Pokémon' is a weird phrase for Rachel to use in first person.
"Well..." Danielle said, "I really want to try to capture some of the Pokégods."
"Poké...gods?"
"Yes, haven't you heard?" she asked, looking at me strangely. "They say that there are almost certainly at least three Legendary Birds, and maybe up to five! There's also Mewtwo- have you heard the story about him? He was created by scientists, but he was too strong. Blew the lab apart! And they made him using the DNA of another Pokégod- Mew!"
I wonder where I got the phrase 'Pokégod' from. I'm pretty sure it's never used in canon.
"Oh, yeah- I remember in that video footage of Ash there was Mew and Mewtwo- Mew was the seriously cute one, wasn't it?" I said. "But, if they're so strong, what chance do you have?"
WHO HAS BEEN FILMING THIS ASH KETCHUM DOCUMENTARY
I really loved Mew. 'Mew' was actually the first name I went by online, on messageboards and guestbooks (remember those?), when I was eleven or so. Then I got a bit older and became 'Evil Mew of Darkness', with a badly MS Painted avatar of a black Mew with red eyes. I was extremely cool.
Danielle looked a bit sad, so I shut up.
We walked on for a while in silence, and then Danielle started complaining of a stone in her shoe. I went ahead with Secret.
Fuck you, Danielle. The weak are left behind.
Then...
"Tatta? Rat-tat-tattaaaaaaaa!"
It was a Rattata!
"Go! SECRET!"
***
"Secret! Use Tackle!"
"VUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLPIX!" Secret gave her war-cry before charging into the already injured Rattata. The little Pokémon gave a cry of pain before keeling over. I held my Pokéball high, but then I realised- Secret! My little Vulpix was exhausted. I picked her up.
Throw the Pokéball, Rachel! Catch the Rattata! Otherwise you've just beaten it up for no reason!
"Are you okay? That Rattata looked as if it bit you pretty hard," I said.
She managed a weak smile. "Of course I'm OK! Put me down!"
I placed her gently on the ground. She swayed a bit, and then collapsed.
"Secret! You're not all right at all! I'd better take you to the Pokémon center!" I cried.
Interesting that I use the American spelling of 'centre' here. Had I not realised the UK spelling was different, or did I feel I should use the US spelling because it was the one used in the game's translation?
Also interesting that I use the spellings 'okay' and 'OK' within the space of two lines.
She protested, saying she was perfectly all right, but I picked her up and carried her towards the nearest Pokécenter. On the way, I passed Danielle and told her where I was going. She looked at me enviously when I mentioned the battle ("How come you get a battle when I get a stone in my shoe?") but she could see that Secret needed medical attention.
I headed on and eventually reached the Centre. The smiling Nurse Joy informed me that she would be ready in half an hour. Quite a bit of time. I went out and began wandering slowly back to Danielle. When I reached there, I realised that the Rattata had recovered and made off- WITH MY CRISPS!!!!!!!!!!
I TOLD YOU TO CATCH THE RATTATA. (In all honesty, I'm sort of proud of Rachel for prioritising Secret's wellbeing over the capture.)
I love how many exclamation marks I used to convey my outrage here. (In my head, the Rattata got into my rucksack and stole the packet of crisps I'd packed for the journey. Why on Earth did I leave my rucksack out there in the wilderness? Danielle wasn't guarding it if I'd abandoned her!)
Also, I can't believe I thought of half an hour as 'quite a bit of time'. Hours used to be so long!
"Hey, Danielle!" I said, flopping down next to her.
"Hi!" she said. "How's Secret?"
"At the Pokécenter. She needs some time to recover."
I took out my 'Regulations & Tips' booklet and began reading.
"Rules and Regulations. Please follow these to make sure that you have a safe and comfortable career as a trainer." Danielle made a snorting sound. "Rule #1: If another trainer beats you, you must hand over- HALF YOUR MONEY???!!!"
For those who don't know, this is an actual mechanic in the early Pokémon games; if all your Pokémon faint in battle, you pay half your money to the winner. The amount paid out was reduced in later generations.
"Figures," Danielle said. "Otherwise you'd just run out."
"Yeah, but would you say that if you were beaten?"
'Figures' is an American expression; in fact, a lot of my dialogue has a slightly American feel to it. I suspect this is because my dialogue style - my writing style in general, in fact - was very heavily influenced by the Animorphs books.
"We could earn cash helping at the Pokécenter- Hey!" Danielle yelled suddenly. "I beat that dumb guy with the Magikarp and he never paid me!"
"How much did we get when we became Pokémon trainers?" I asked, ignoring her. "Oh yeah- ¥500."
It's not yen, twelve-year-old me. It's Pokédollars. Also, who is subsidising new Pokémon trainers?
"And how much does Nerdy-boy owe me? ¥250. And if he doesn't-"
"SECRET!" I yelled suddenly. "Oh, my God! I forgot!"
"Wait, Rachel, it's only-" Danielle started, but I had leapt up and dashed off at top speed.
My original author's note on the fourth chapter was '((I'll only add more chapters if people review! There's no point if people won't read it!))'. I'm pretty sure I posted chapters one to four to fanfiction.net simultaneously, so it was slightly ridiculous for me to become impatient. HOW DARE YOU NOT REVIEW MY FIC THE SECOND I POST IT.
I reached the Pokécenter- with a quarter of an hour to spare. Typical. Still, when it was over and I saw Secret bounding happily towards me, her old self again, it really was worth the wait.
"That fight with the Rattata- you were awesome! What are your attacks?"
It's possible you should have established this earlier, Rachel.
"Growl," she said. "Tackle and Growl. And Scratch."
"What, no fire attacks?"
She put on big baby eyes. "Me only level 6!"
Pokémon talking about their levels feels extremely awkward, but you'd better get used to it, because there's going to be a lot more of this.
"Level 6? But- I thought you got starters at Level 5!"
"Me only level 6... and me just fought a Rattata!"
"Oh." I felt real stupid now. "Yeah."
"Right!" said Secret, throwing off her babyish manner at once. "I wanna get out! Let's go let's go LET'S GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
We went.
I have a feeling the 'Let's go!'/We went exchange was lifted from an Animorphs book, but I can't be sure.
(EDIT: It is! Animorphs #21, The Threat, p.45 in the UK edition:
I sounded like I was threatening him.
I was.
"Let's go," I said.
We went.)
I like that I was obviously trying to give Secret a bit of personality: ready to go, determined, trying to pretend she's fine when she's injured.
***
"Danielle!"
She looked up and grinned. "I tried to tell you. I guess you got there a little early, no?" She sure seemed happy about something.
"No. I got there a lot early," I sat down- and then jumped straight up again.
A Pikachu! It was standing there, twitching its ears. Just asking to be captured!
"Go, SECRET!"
"Sparky, return!" Danielle said quickly. A beam of red light shot out from the Pokéball in her hand and sucked the Pikachu in.
I'm having terrible luck in my attempts to capture Pokémon in this fic.
"WHAT?" I yelled. "You caught a Pikachu?"
"Looks like it, doesn't it?" smirked Danielle, letting it out again.
"But- those are incredibly rare! How the heck did you find one?"
"I guess I just got lucky," Danielle said, smiling broadly. "Isn't he sweet?"
Pikachu was the real Danielle's favourite Pokémon. Unfortunately, I wrote this fic when I was in a state of 'ugh, Pikachu is so oversaturated, it's the worst'. (I've warmed back up to Pikachu now.)
"Pika!" said the 'chu happily. "Pipipikachu!" It jumped into her lap and stuck its tongue out at me. "Chu chu chu chu chuuuuuuu!"
'Chu chu chu chu chuuuuuuu' should be read to the tune of the singsong taunt 'nah nah na nah nah'.
"Are you teasing me?"
"What?" said Danielle.
"Your Pikachu needs a few lessons in manners! It stuck its tongue out at me!"
"Awww, you wouldn't do that, would you Sparky?"
"Chu!" said the mouse-like creature, shaking its head. "Pikachu!" It scowled at me.
Would... would Rachel be able to describe something as 'mouse-like'?
"Take no notice of the big mean Rachel!"
"Ka!" it said, turning away from me. "Pi! Chu!"
As I mentioned in the first instalment, the real 'Danielle' and I had drifted apart slightly; we'd switched schools and been put in separate year groups and sort of stopped spending time together. (This happened some years before I started writing this fic; I'd evidently been dwelling on it!) In this fic, I'm fairly sure I tried to deal with the distance between us by manifesting it in the form of A PIKACHU WHO HATED ME.
Secret jumped down from my arms. "Vul?"
"Oh, is Secret okay? Are you, Secret?"
"Vul!" said Vulpix, nodding vigorously. "Vulpix!" It trotted over to her Pikachu. "What's your name?" she asked in Vulpix-talk.
The Pikachu whipped round, sparks flying. Then it saw Secret and stopped sparking, but still looked tense.
"I'm Sparky. I belong to Danielle," it said.
"Well, I'm Secret. That's my owner, Rachel over there."
"Rachel?!" The Pikachu sparked slightly again.
"Yes. I was her starting Pokémon," Secret said.
"You were?" The Pikachu looked coldly at me. "What does it feel like belonging to her?" it asked, lowering its voice.
WE'VE ONLY JUST MET, SPARKY, WHY DO YOU HATE ME
"She's great! She's not just my trainer, she's my friend!" Secret said proudly.
Sparky gave a snort of laughter. "Yeah, sure."
"Yeah! Sure!" said Secret. "She's the best trainer I could wish for!"
Come to think of it, it's also possibly a bit too early for Secret to have formed this glowing opinion of me.
Sparky made a hissing sound.
"And now- now I'm looking for some Pokémon friends," Secret said. "Would you be friends with me?"
Sparky looked doubtful. "You belong to her?"
"Yes," Secret said.
"And you actually like her?"
"Of course."
"I'll think about it!" Sparky darted off to Danielle.
***
"Don't you think we ought to go to sleep?" Danielle asked after some vigorous Pokémon races (which Sparky always won, with natural Pikachu speed).
"Sleep? Yeah," I said.
We snuggled down in our blankets and went to sleep.
***
I was jolted suddenly awake by terrible pain coursing through my body.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"
"Ka! Kakakakakaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!" I felt it again.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You know, I'm not sure I conveyed the pain adequately. Could have used a few more exclamation points.
I opened my eyes; there was a flash of yellow, and then- nothing. Sparky was snoring gently about a foot away. I would have dismissed it as a dream, apart from the after-effects still there. And the fact that Sparky had been much, much further away when I fell asleep.
I tried to close my eyes again, but then the night exploded with noise. Danielle complaining of being woken up by a scream, the yelling of a furious Vulpix, and- another voice. A boy.
"Freeze, Pika. I saw what you just did. And it wasn't very nice."
At some point, before I took this fic down entirely, I evidently got embarrassed by the dramatic 'And it wasn't very nice' and cut it out. Too bad, younger me; I remember the line and I'm cutting it right back in. Your attempts to rewrite history won't work here.
In the next instalment of Old Fanfiction Book Club, Rachel and Danielle meet two characters who definitely aren't supposed to be my brothers, I swear, and Rachel actually succeeds in catching a Pokémon for once.
"Got any plans for the future? What Pokémon are you planning to catch?" I asked Danielle as we strolled along, with Bulba (her Bulbasaur) at her heels, having refused to get into its Pokéball. Come to think of it, so did Secret. After a couple of hours, the two friends and their Pokémon could converse freely with each other, and when I tried to recall Secret it cried "No! I'm not going back it there! It's cramped, it's smelly..." here she gave a sly Vulpix grin, "...and there's no decent toilets either."
YES, THE POKÉMON ARE GOING TO TALK IN THIS FIC. Apparently it only takes a couple of hours to become fluent in the language of any given Pokémon species.
Both our Pokémon conveniently refuse to get into their Pokéballs. Apparently 'just having your Pokémon out of their Pokéballs by choice' was a possibility that hadn't occurred to me. (Again, there's no choice allowed in this world.)
I can't really envision a 'sly Vulpix grin'. Also, 'the two friends and their Pokémon' is a weird phrase for Rachel to use in first person.
"Well..." Danielle said, "I really want to try to capture some of the Pokégods."
"Poké...gods?"
"Yes, haven't you heard?" she asked, looking at me strangely. "They say that there are almost certainly at least three Legendary Birds, and maybe up to five! There's also Mewtwo- have you heard the story about him? He was created by scientists, but he was too strong. Blew the lab apart! And they made him using the DNA of another Pokégod- Mew!"
I wonder where I got the phrase 'Pokégod' from. I'm pretty sure it's never used in canon.
"Oh, yeah- I remember in that video footage of Ash there was Mew and Mewtwo- Mew was the seriously cute one, wasn't it?" I said. "But, if they're so strong, what chance do you have?"
WHO HAS BEEN FILMING THIS ASH KETCHUM DOCUMENTARY
I really loved Mew. 'Mew' was actually the first name I went by online, on messageboards and guestbooks (remember those?), when I was eleven or so. Then I got a bit older and became 'Evil Mew of Darkness', with a badly MS Painted avatar of a black Mew with red eyes. I was extremely cool.
Danielle looked a bit sad, so I shut up.
We walked on for a while in silence, and then Danielle started complaining of a stone in her shoe. I went ahead with Secret.
Fuck you, Danielle. The weak are left behind.
Then...
"Tatta? Rat-tat-tattaaaaaaaa!"
It was a Rattata!
"Go! SECRET!"
***
"Secret! Use Tackle!"
"VUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLPIX!" Secret gave her war-cry before charging into the already injured Rattata. The little Pokémon gave a cry of pain before keeling over. I held my Pokéball high, but then I realised- Secret! My little Vulpix was exhausted. I picked her up.
Throw the Pokéball, Rachel! Catch the Rattata! Otherwise you've just beaten it up for no reason!
"Are you okay? That Rattata looked as if it bit you pretty hard," I said.
She managed a weak smile. "Of course I'm OK! Put me down!"
I placed her gently on the ground. She swayed a bit, and then collapsed.
"Secret! You're not all right at all! I'd better take you to the Pokémon center!" I cried.
Interesting that I use the American spelling of 'centre' here. Had I not realised the UK spelling was different, or did I feel I should use the US spelling because it was the one used in the game's translation?
Also interesting that I use the spellings 'okay' and 'OK' within the space of two lines.
She protested, saying she was perfectly all right, but I picked her up and carried her towards the nearest Pokécenter. On the way, I passed Danielle and told her where I was going. She looked at me enviously when I mentioned the battle ("How come you get a battle when I get a stone in my shoe?") but she could see that Secret needed medical attention.
I headed on and eventually reached the Centre. The smiling Nurse Joy informed me that she would be ready in half an hour. Quite a bit of time. I went out and began wandering slowly back to Danielle. When I reached there, I realised that the Rattata had recovered and made off- WITH MY CRISPS!!!!!!!!!!
I TOLD YOU TO CATCH THE RATTATA. (In all honesty, I'm sort of proud of Rachel for prioritising Secret's wellbeing over the capture.)
I love how many exclamation marks I used to convey my outrage here. (In my head, the Rattata got into my rucksack and stole the packet of crisps I'd packed for the journey. Why on Earth did I leave my rucksack out there in the wilderness? Danielle wasn't guarding it if I'd abandoned her!)
Also, I can't believe I thought of half an hour as 'quite a bit of time'. Hours used to be so long!
"Hey, Danielle!" I said, flopping down next to her.
"Hi!" she said. "How's Secret?"
"At the Pokécenter. She needs some time to recover."
I took out my 'Regulations & Tips' booklet and began reading.
"Rules and Regulations. Please follow these to make sure that you have a safe and comfortable career as a trainer." Danielle made a snorting sound. "Rule #1: If another trainer beats you, you must hand over- HALF YOUR MONEY???!!!"
For those who don't know, this is an actual mechanic in the early Pokémon games; if all your Pokémon faint in battle, you pay half your money to the winner. The amount paid out was reduced in later generations.
"Figures," Danielle said. "Otherwise you'd just run out."
"Yeah, but would you say that if you were beaten?"
'Figures' is an American expression; in fact, a lot of my dialogue has a slightly American feel to it. I suspect this is because my dialogue style - my writing style in general, in fact - was very heavily influenced by the Animorphs books.
"We could earn cash helping at the Pokécenter- Hey!" Danielle yelled suddenly. "I beat that dumb guy with the Magikarp and he never paid me!"
"How much did we get when we became Pokémon trainers?" I asked, ignoring her. "Oh yeah- ¥500."
It's not yen, twelve-year-old me. It's Pokédollars. Also, who is subsidising new Pokémon trainers?
"And how much does Nerdy-boy owe me? ¥250. And if he doesn't-"
"SECRET!" I yelled suddenly. "Oh, my God! I forgot!"
"Wait, Rachel, it's only-" Danielle started, but I had leapt up and dashed off at top speed.
My original author's note on the fourth chapter was '((I'll only add more chapters if people review! There's no point if people won't read it!))'. I'm pretty sure I posted chapters one to four to fanfiction.net simultaneously, so it was slightly ridiculous for me to become impatient. HOW DARE YOU NOT REVIEW MY FIC THE SECOND I POST IT.
I reached the Pokécenter- with a quarter of an hour to spare. Typical. Still, when it was over and I saw Secret bounding happily towards me, her old self again, it really was worth the wait.
"That fight with the Rattata- you were awesome! What are your attacks?"
It's possible you should have established this earlier, Rachel.
"Growl," she said. "Tackle and Growl. And Scratch."
"What, no fire attacks?"
She put on big baby eyes. "Me only level 6!"
Pokémon talking about their levels feels extremely awkward, but you'd better get used to it, because there's going to be a lot more of this.
"Level 6? But- I thought you got starters at Level 5!"
"Me only level 6... and me just fought a Rattata!"
"Oh." I felt real stupid now. "Yeah."
"Right!" said Secret, throwing off her babyish manner at once. "I wanna get out! Let's go let's go LET'S GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
We went.
I have a feeling the 'Let's go!'/We went exchange was lifted from an Animorphs book, but I can't be sure.
(EDIT: It is! Animorphs #21, The Threat, p.45 in the UK edition:
I sounded like I was threatening him.
I was.
"Let's go," I said.
We went.)
I like that I was obviously trying to give Secret a bit of personality: ready to go, determined, trying to pretend she's fine when she's injured.
***
"Danielle!"
She looked up and grinned. "I tried to tell you. I guess you got there a little early, no?" She sure seemed happy about something.
"No. I got there a lot early," I sat down- and then jumped straight up again.
A Pikachu! It was standing there, twitching its ears. Just asking to be captured!
"Go, SECRET!"
"Sparky, return!" Danielle said quickly. A beam of red light shot out from the Pokéball in her hand and sucked the Pikachu in.
I'm having terrible luck in my attempts to capture Pokémon in this fic.
"WHAT?" I yelled. "You caught a Pikachu?"
"Looks like it, doesn't it?" smirked Danielle, letting it out again.
"But- those are incredibly rare! How the heck did you find one?"
"I guess I just got lucky," Danielle said, smiling broadly. "Isn't he sweet?"
Pikachu was the real Danielle's favourite Pokémon. Unfortunately, I wrote this fic when I was in a state of 'ugh, Pikachu is so oversaturated, it's the worst'. (I've warmed back up to Pikachu now.)
"Pika!" said the 'chu happily. "Pipipikachu!" It jumped into her lap and stuck its tongue out at me. "Chu chu chu chu chuuuuuuu!"
'Chu chu chu chu chuuuuuuu' should be read to the tune of the singsong taunt 'nah nah na nah nah'.
"Are you teasing me?"
"What?" said Danielle.
"Your Pikachu needs a few lessons in manners! It stuck its tongue out at me!"
"Awww, you wouldn't do that, would you Sparky?"
"Chu!" said the mouse-like creature, shaking its head. "Pikachu!" It scowled at me.
Would... would Rachel be able to describe something as 'mouse-like'?
"Take no notice of the big mean Rachel!"
"Ka!" it said, turning away from me. "Pi! Chu!"
As I mentioned in the first instalment, the real 'Danielle' and I had drifted apart slightly; we'd switched schools and been put in separate year groups and sort of stopped spending time together. (This happened some years before I started writing this fic; I'd evidently been dwelling on it!) In this fic, I'm fairly sure I tried to deal with the distance between us by manifesting it in the form of A PIKACHU WHO HATED ME.
Secret jumped down from my arms. "Vul?"
"Oh, is Secret okay? Are you, Secret?"
"Vul!" said Vulpix, nodding vigorously. "Vulpix!" It trotted over to her Pikachu. "What's your name?" she asked in Vulpix-talk.
The Pikachu whipped round, sparks flying. Then it saw Secret and stopped sparking, but still looked tense.
"I'm Sparky. I belong to Danielle," it said.
"Well, I'm Secret. That's my owner, Rachel over there."
"Rachel?!" The Pikachu sparked slightly again.
"Yes. I was her starting Pokémon," Secret said.
"You were?" The Pikachu looked coldly at me. "What does it feel like belonging to her?" it asked, lowering its voice.
WE'VE ONLY JUST MET, SPARKY, WHY DO YOU HATE ME
"She's great! She's not just my trainer, she's my friend!" Secret said proudly.
Sparky gave a snort of laughter. "Yeah, sure."
"Yeah! Sure!" said Secret. "She's the best trainer I could wish for!"
Come to think of it, it's also possibly a bit too early for Secret to have formed this glowing opinion of me.
Sparky made a hissing sound.
"And now- now I'm looking for some Pokémon friends," Secret said. "Would you be friends with me?"
Sparky looked doubtful. "You belong to her?"
"Yes," Secret said.
"And you actually like her?"
"Of course."
"I'll think about it!" Sparky darted off to Danielle.
***
"Don't you think we ought to go to sleep?" Danielle asked after some vigorous Pokémon races (which Sparky always won, with natural Pikachu speed).
"Sleep? Yeah," I said.
We snuggled down in our blankets and went to sleep.
***
I was jolted suddenly awake by terrible pain coursing through my body.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"
"Ka! Kakakakakaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!" I felt it again.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You know, I'm not sure I conveyed the pain adequately. Could have used a few more exclamation points.
I opened my eyes; there was a flash of yellow, and then- nothing. Sparky was snoring gently about a foot away. I would have dismissed it as a dream, apart from the after-effects still there. And the fact that Sparky had been much, much further away when I fell asleep.
I tried to close my eyes again, but then the night exploded with noise. Danielle complaining of being woken up by a scream, the yelling of a furious Vulpix, and- another voice. A boy.
"Freeze, Pika. I saw what you just did. And it wasn't very nice."
At some point, before I took this fic down entirely, I evidently got embarrassed by the dramatic 'And it wasn't very nice' and cut it out. Too bad, younger me; I remember the line and I'm cutting it right back in. Your attempts to rewrite history won't work here.
In the next instalment of Old Fanfiction Book Club, Rachel and Danielle meet two characters who definitely aren't supposed to be my brothers, I swear, and Rachel actually succeeds in catching a Pokémon for once.