I Should Have Expected Nothing Less.

[rionaleonhart]

I haven't yet finished my seventh world in Kingdom Hearts III (the one with the swimming), but I'm making this entry now, because there's one aspect of that world I need to react to immediately.



The photorealistic human beings in the Pirates of the Caribbean world are a tiny bit disconcerting. Sometimes they work, and sometimes someone's face doesn't quite move in the right way and they fall straight into the uncanny valley.

When they do work, they're astonishingly impressive.

Our heroes look a bit more detailed and realistic in this world, but Ginger wants them to go a step further and make Donald Duck an actual duck.

I was really reluctant to fire on Luxord's ship in the naval race. He was talking so much about fair play! And I don't think he fires on you until you fire on him! But in the end I couldn't work out how to win the race without firing. (I could barely work out how to win the race with firing. It took me four attempts.)

I've always liked Luxord. I was going to say 'I don't know why', but I know why: it's because of my Derren Brown phase. I'm glad that the Xehanorted members of Organization XIII still hold on to their old personalities, or at least aspects of them. (I love that Larxene's immediately started scheming up another coup.)

Honestly, Sora, if you're tired of fighting Luxord's Nobodies, you could probably say 'how about a game of poker instead?' and I bet he'd go for it. Although you'd probably be very bad at poker. Maybe you could challenge him to a game of snap.

WHY WAS JACK SPARROW MADE OF CRABS

WHY

WHAT

OKAY, I ACCEPT A LOT OF NONSENSE IN THIS VIDEOGAME SERIES

WHY WAS JACK SPARROW

ACTUALLY A WALKING, TALKING, FIGHTING, IDENTICAL REPLICA OF JACK SPARROW

SENT TO US BY THE SEA GODDESS

AND MADE OF CRABS



I'm very confused, but, to be honest, it wouldn't be a Kingdom Hearts game if I weren't.

Comments

[shadaras]

I feel like that might be a reference back to... PotC3? The one where Jack's in that limbo realm of death or whatever and there's just a ton of him and also a bunch of crabs? At least, that's the best justification I can think of for why that might happen other than 'KH is just weird'.

[rionaleonhart]

The Pirates of the Caribbean world in this game seems to be largely based on the third film, and they're the same white crabs, so probably! I don't think Jack turned into crabs in that film, though, so I suppose it's the time-honoured Kingdom Hearts tradition of taking something weird and going 'this could be weirder.'

[shadaras]

Heh, yeah! Seems about right for KH. :)

[surskitty]

CRAB JACK CRAB JACK I LOVE THE CRAB JACK

he's always been a bit crabby when he doesn't have booze

and lately he's really been through shell

he's going to claw his way up though

and just

🦀🦀🦀🦀

[rionaleonhart]

I don't know how to react to this comment. I'm simultaneously extremely angry and very impressed.

[surskitty]

Ehehehe. I'm sorry. The crab thing is bizarre enough that it seemed like a good idea at the time? You can delete it if you'd like.

[rionaleonhart]

Oh, no, I love it! I'm furious about it. But I love it.

[thenicochan]

Never played KH2, but I was familiar with the name 'Luxord', so I looked him up. Yup, I remember him from the interwebs circa mid-2000s, plus that five second shot in Chain of Memories. He's the hot one.

[rionaleonhart]

All he wants to do is sail pirate ships and play stupid games with his enemies, and I can respect that.

I'm not sure if his name's ever said aloud in Kingdom Hearts II, because in this game it's pronounced 'Look-sword', and I was convinced it was 'Luck-sword'. He's a gambler! Having 'luck' in his name would make so much sense!

[thenicochan]

He sounds like a man after my heart.

Oh, huh. Yeah, I presumed 'Lux' was pronounced closer to 'Luck' than 'Look'. That'll take some getting used to.