"Well, you obviously haven't thought of the fact that the number keys are still the same in Turkish," James commented, hitting the speed-dial for Hammond just before the phone was whisked out of his hands and hurled over the cliff.

James took a deep breath.

"Jeremy," he said. "If you're trying to do..." - oh, God, he couldn't bring himself to say it, it was far too insane - "...what I suspect you might be, I can assure you that this isn't the right way to go about it."