Riona (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rionaleonhart) wrote2024-08-27 12:00 pm
rionaleonhart) wrote2024-08-27 12:00 pm
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I Was Most Excited To See The Grebes, But I Can't Deny The Classic Appeal Of The Mallard.
Ages and ages ago, I attempted the demo of Stranger of Paradise: Final Fantasy Origin. Here is how this game begins:
- A mysterious armoured figure cuts down a load of soldiers with no context.
- The game cuts to a boss fight against a dragon with no context.
- The protagonist Jack walks through a field of wheat while playing Frank Sinatra's 'My Way' on his mobile phone. It is crucial to note that, with the exception of the party's strangely modern outfits, this game's setting is otherwise mediaeval.
- Jack approaches a city, then senses someone behind him and whips around to see two strangers, Jed and Ash:
Jed: (raising a glowing crystal) Look. The crystals can sense each other.
Ash: (also holding a crystal) You have one too, don't you?
Jack: (raising his crystal) My mission is to kill Chaos. That's all I know.
Jed: Me too.
Ash: Good. We're all on the same hunt.
Jack: I'm Jack.
Jed: Jed.
Ash: Ash.
And then they all fistbump.
And that's how this game's main characters meet. This is definitely how human beings interact on encountering someone for the first time.
It's important to note that you can strip all the characters down to their boxers. For half the first mission, I had everyone running around with no trousers.
Unfortunately, I was catastrophically bad at Stranger of Paradise and concluded that I wouldn't be able to play it. I was still vaguely curious about it, though, so I recently watched a Let's Play.
Stranger of Paradise: Final Fantasy Origin is a very bad game. Or, rather, it's a very badly told story; as the gameplay really isn't my thing, I'm not qualified to judge that aspect of it.
It has fun elements! I enjoy that Jack is a gruff action hero trapped in a swords-and-sorcery story, and he's furious about it; I love that, if anyone starts trying to offer exposition, he'll immediately tell them to fuck off. But it's just so sparsely, weirdly written that it's impossible to get invested.
Which is a shame, because there are glimpses of something interesting here. Jack's an extremely angry character who has a lot of feelings and doesn't know how to deal with them, i.e. exactly my sort of character! I'd be so into him if the game actually took the time to flesh out its party! Let's have a moment of silence for the character I'd have been obsessed with in a universe where the game had better writing.
I feel this entry probably has a very limited audience, so here's a poll for broader appeal.
- A mysterious armoured figure cuts down a load of soldiers with no context.
- The game cuts to a boss fight against a dragon with no context.
- The protagonist Jack walks through a field of wheat while playing Frank Sinatra's 'My Way' on his mobile phone. It is crucial to note that, with the exception of the party's strangely modern outfits, this game's setting is otherwise mediaeval.
- Jack approaches a city, then senses someone behind him and whips around to see two strangers, Jed and Ash:
Jed: (raising a glowing crystal) Look. The crystals can sense each other.
Ash: (also holding a crystal) You have one too, don't you?
Jack: (raising his crystal) My mission is to kill Chaos. That's all I know.
Jed: Me too.
Ash: Good. We're all on the same hunt.
Jack: I'm Jack.
Jed: Jed.
Ash: Ash.
And then they all fistbump.
And that's how this game's main characters meet. This is definitely how human beings interact on encountering someone for the first time.
It's important to note that you can strip all the characters down to their boxers. For half the first mission, I had everyone running around with no trousers.
Unfortunately, I was catastrophically bad at Stranger of Paradise and concluded that I wouldn't be able to play it. I was still vaguely curious about it, though, so I recently watched a Let's Play.
Stranger of Paradise: Final Fantasy Origin is a very bad game. Or, rather, it's a very badly told story; as the gameplay really isn't my thing, I'm not qualified to judge that aspect of it.
It has fun elements! I enjoy that Jack is a gruff action hero trapped in a swords-and-sorcery story, and he's furious about it; I love that, if anyone starts trying to offer exposition, he'll immediately tell them to fuck off. But it's just so sparsely, weirdly written that it's impossible to get invested.
Which is a shame, because there are glimpses of something interesting here. Jack's an extremely angry character who has a lot of feelings and doesn't know how to deal with them, i.e. exactly my sort of character! I'd be so into him if the game actually took the time to flesh out its party! Let's have a moment of silence for the character I'd have been obsessed with in a universe where the game had better writing.
I feel this entry probably has a very limited audience, so here's a poll for broader appeal.
Poll #31786 the impossible choice
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 43
Choose a water bird I saw at Hyde Park a couple of days ago.
View Answers
Coot
5 (11.6%)
Mallard
6 (14.0%)
Tufted duck
2 (4.7%)
Canada goose
1 (2.3%)
Egyptian goose
6 (14.0%)
Great crested grebe
3 (7.0%)
Black-headed gull
2 (4.7%)
Heron
11 (25.6%)
Moorhen
3 (7.0%)
Swan
4 (9.3%)