Riona (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rionaleonhart) wrote2026-02-12 04:46 pm
rionaleonhart) wrote2026-02-12 04:46 pm
Entry tags:
Fanfiction: Sleep Well (The Goes Wrong Show, Robert/Chris)
Another Goes Wrong fic that grew out of a fill for the Three-Sentence Ficathon! I haven't posted the fill in question to this journal, but it was for the prompt 'goodnight kiss'.
'Riona, why would you name a fic Sleep Well if you already have a fic called Sleep Tight in a different fandom?' - look, leave me alone, titles are hard.
Title: Sleep Well
Fandom: The Goes Wrong Show
Rating: PG
Pairing: Robert/Chris, slight everyone/everyone
Wordcount: 1,600
Summary: On account of a booking mishap, the Cornley Drama Society are forced to share a single hotel room. The consequences are confusing.
It’s exciting to have secured a venue in London, but there are issues, and one of those issues is accommodation. More specifically, the fact that they only have a single hotel room for the entire cast. In retrospect, they probably shouldn’t have allowed Dennis to make the booking.
The bed has been destroyed in a fierce altercation between Annie and Robert over who should have it, which does at least put everyone on the same level, Chris supposes. He beds down on the floor. Some of the others are cuddling up close to each other, but Chris attempts to keep a professional distance, as far as is possible when this many people are sleeping in the same room.
“Good night, Chris.” Robert kneels down next to Chris and—
kisses him, kisses him on the mouth, kisses him in a room containing the entire drama society, and for an instant Chris is too stunned to react. What does – what does this mean; what is he doing?
Robert’s gone from his side by the time Chris regains the power of movement.
“Robert!” he exclaims, sitting up. The name comes out as more of a bewildered squeak than he’d envisioned.
“Hm?” Robert asks, glancing up from—
From kissing Dennis, apparently, which does not make this situation any less confusing.
“What are you—” Chris swallows. “What are you doing?”
“I’m wishing everyone good night, Chris, obviously,” Robert says.
“By kissing us?”
Robert fixes him with an incredulous look, a surely you know this look. “That’s how you wish someone good night. A goodnight kiss; it’s well known. You’re in your thirties, Chris; don’t tell me you’ve been doing it incorrectly all these years.”
It’s a relief, for an instant – there’s a reason for this, Chris doesn’t have to reevaluate their entire relationship – before it hits Chris that the reason absolutely does not make sense. “It – it depends on who you are to each other, surely? Parents and lovers, maybe, but you don’t kiss everyone.”
“What sort of distinction is that?” Robert asks. “Parents and lovers are very different things. Why would you kiss them and not everyone else?”
He speaks so authoritatively that, for a moment, Chris almost believes him; maybe Chris has been wrong about this all this time. He has to consciously remind himself that this is Robert and half the things he says are nonsense. “Look, Robert, this is ridiculous. Everyone here thinks you’re insane. People don’t kiss everyone they know good night.”
Max laughs. “No, he’s right. Sorry, guys; I can’t believe I forgot to kiss everyone.” He gives a quick kiss to Sandra and Jonathan, the two people closest to him, and then gets up and starts making his way around the room.
This proves nothing, Chris tells himself, firmly. Max almost certainly just thinks the situation is funny.
But of course Dennis is now convinced that this is the correct way to wish someone good night, so he starts kissing everyone as well, by which point Sandra and Annie evidently also think it’d be funny to join in, and...
Well. Chris ends up receiving a lot more kisses than he was mentally or emotionally prepared for, to be honest.
He spends the night desperately and unsuccessfully trying to rearrange his confused feelings about the drama society into a shape that makes sense to him. Lying here on the floor, he’s not exactly going to spend it sleeping, after all.
When Max tries to kiss him good morning, Chris cracks.
“No, look, stop this,” Chris demands, scrambling to his feet. “Stop this. From now on, nobody is allowed to kiss me if they’re not making an actual romantic overture. It’s confusing and it’s strange.”
“We’re in this hotel room again tonight,” Robert comments. From the tone of his voice, he is making an objection, but Chris can’t fathom where the objection lies.
“I very much doubt we’ll still have it once the cleaners see what’s happened to the bed,” Chris says. “What’s your point?”
“I won’t be able to wish you good night properly,” Robert says, warningly. “You won’t sleep well, Chris.”
“Fantastic,” Chris says. “As it happens, I didn’t sleep terribly well after five of my castmates inexplicably kissed me, so I’m prepared to take that chance.”
“It was perfectly explicable. I explained very clearly.”
“I’m going to have breakfast,” Chris says. “None of you are invited to join me.”
-
As predicted, the hotel politely informs them that, if they attempt to stay again tonight, the police will be getting involved. Annie books their new accommodations for after the play, at least, so the room arrangements should hopefully be slightly more sane.
The play itself is... not a perfect performance, perhaps. Still, nobody needed urgent medical attention, and that’s always a victory. Well, nobody in the drama society, at least; an ambulance did need to be called for one or two members of the audience.
Robert put on a fairly poor performance; he always seemed to be looking at Chris, rather than the characters he was actually supposed to be addressing. He’s occasionally paid too much attention to Chris in a scene before, but never on this scale. Chris might need to have a word with him about that.
A couple of wrong trains later, they eventually make it to the new hotel. Chris is looking forward to a proper night’s sleep in an actual—
“Right!” Annie exclaims, returning from the check-in desk and clapping her hands together. “Our room is on the second floor.”
“Our room?” Chris echoes.
Annie looks startled, and then shifty.
“Annie,” Chris says, “did you only book us one room?”
“I thought—” Annie shrugs. “I thought it was really fun and cosy, all of us staying together. Like a sleepover.”
“Yeah!” Dennis exclaims. “It was great, right?”
Chris squeezes his eyes shut for a moment. “Annie.”
“I told them to give us loads of blankets,” Annie says. “So it’ll be more comfortable, right? And I got them to take the bed out, so we’ll have more room.”
-
Unfortunately, Robert’s ridiculous idea of appropriate bedtime conduct has caught on, and once again half the drama society’s members go around kissing everyone. Chris watches warily, standing against a wall, ready to move at speed if necessary. But they do seem to be respecting his request, at least; nobody approaches him.
Until Robert.
“No,” Chris says, as soon as Robert locks eyes with him.
“Chris, I need you to trust me. I’ve taken what you said on board.”
“So you’re not going to kiss me,” Chris says, unconvinced.
Robert shakes his head. “That’s not what you said, Chris.”
What the hell is he trying now? “That is absolutely what I said. I said no one was allowed to kiss me. That includes you.”
“You said no one was allowed to kiss you if they weren’t making a romantic overture.”
“What difference does that make?”
“I’ve spent all day endeavouring to fall in love with you,” Robert says. “Frankly, I think I should be applauded for managing it by the deadline. You’re not an easy man to love, you know.”
Wh—
What?
“What on Earth are you talking about?” Chris asks. It takes him a couple of efforts to get the words out.
Is this a dream? It would be very convenient if this could turn out to be a dream. But that would require Chris to have fallen asleep, which is apparently impossible in the company of these people.
“I think I’ve been perfectly clear,” Robert says. “It’s essential that I wish you good night, because I am a person who respects courtesy and tradition. You won’t permit it unless it’s romantic. Fine. I’m in love with you, ergo the kiss is a romantic one and you must accept it.”
“Must?” Chris demands. “What do you mean, must? I’m under no obligation to be kissed!”
Robert looks outraged. “Those were your terms, Chris!”
“Because it didn’t occur to me that you were enough of a lunatic to do this!”
“I’ve gone to a lot of effort! Entirely for the sake of ensuring you sleep well! It’s very important for the director to be well-rested, you know.”
That throws Chris. Maybe it’s the sleep deprivation; it really is important to be well-rested. “You... made yourself fall in love with me because you wanted to help me sleep?”
“Well, why else would I do it?” Robert asks.
For a while, in this conversation, Chris was too bewildered to pay attention to anything but Robert. He’s slowly becoming aware, now, of the silence in the room, the way everyone else is watching them.
“Could we... could we talk about this privately?” Chris asks.
Max wolf-whistles, and Chris flushes. “Actually, no, let’s talk about it here. If you’re really in love with me, I’m – I’m sorry you went to that... emotional trouble.”
“It’s simply another role,” Robert says, solemnly. “No apology necessary.”
Chris swallows. Last night’s assorted kisses left him with some very discomfiting feelings, and he doubts it’ll be any better when there are actual romantic undertones involved. But...
Well. A part of him is honestly a little touched that Robert would do this for him, even if the specific thing Robert has done for him is absolutely insane.
“You can kiss me good night, I suppose,” Chris says. “If you really must.”
“See, was that so hard?” Robert asks.
Chris isn’t sure what to expect, tenses up a little as Robert approaches him. But it’s the same chaste kiss it was yesterday. A goodnight kiss, nothing more; the only thing that’s changed is the knowledge that Robert is now apparently in love with him.
“Good night, Chris,” Robert says.
Chris touches his fingers to his own lips, automatically. “Good night, Robert.”
A few seconds pass. They still haven’t broken eye contact.
Max raises a hand, grinning. “Hey, I just realised I’m in love with you too.”
“No,” Chris says.
'Riona, why would you name a fic Sleep Well if you already have a fic called Sleep Tight in a different fandom?' - look, leave me alone, titles are hard.
Title: Sleep Well
Fandom: The Goes Wrong Show
Rating: PG
Pairing: Robert/Chris, slight everyone/everyone
Wordcount: 1,600
Summary: On account of a booking mishap, the Cornley Drama Society are forced to share a single hotel room. The consequences are confusing.
It’s exciting to have secured a venue in London, but there are issues, and one of those issues is accommodation. More specifically, the fact that they only have a single hotel room for the entire cast. In retrospect, they probably shouldn’t have allowed Dennis to make the booking.
The bed has been destroyed in a fierce altercation between Annie and Robert over who should have it, which does at least put everyone on the same level, Chris supposes. He beds down on the floor. Some of the others are cuddling up close to each other, but Chris attempts to keep a professional distance, as far as is possible when this many people are sleeping in the same room.
“Good night, Chris.” Robert kneels down next to Chris and—
kisses him, kisses him on the mouth, kisses him in a room containing the entire drama society, and for an instant Chris is too stunned to react. What does – what does this mean; what is he doing?
Robert’s gone from his side by the time Chris regains the power of movement.
“Robert!” he exclaims, sitting up. The name comes out as more of a bewildered squeak than he’d envisioned.
“Hm?” Robert asks, glancing up from—
From kissing Dennis, apparently, which does not make this situation any less confusing.
“What are you—” Chris swallows. “What are you doing?”
“I’m wishing everyone good night, Chris, obviously,” Robert says.
“By kissing us?”
Robert fixes him with an incredulous look, a surely you know this look. “That’s how you wish someone good night. A goodnight kiss; it’s well known. You’re in your thirties, Chris; don’t tell me you’ve been doing it incorrectly all these years.”
It’s a relief, for an instant – there’s a reason for this, Chris doesn’t have to reevaluate their entire relationship – before it hits Chris that the reason absolutely does not make sense. “It – it depends on who you are to each other, surely? Parents and lovers, maybe, but you don’t kiss everyone.”
“What sort of distinction is that?” Robert asks. “Parents and lovers are very different things. Why would you kiss them and not everyone else?”
He speaks so authoritatively that, for a moment, Chris almost believes him; maybe Chris has been wrong about this all this time. He has to consciously remind himself that this is Robert and half the things he says are nonsense. “Look, Robert, this is ridiculous. Everyone here thinks you’re insane. People don’t kiss everyone they know good night.”
Max laughs. “No, he’s right. Sorry, guys; I can’t believe I forgot to kiss everyone.” He gives a quick kiss to Sandra and Jonathan, the two people closest to him, and then gets up and starts making his way around the room.
This proves nothing, Chris tells himself, firmly. Max almost certainly just thinks the situation is funny.
But of course Dennis is now convinced that this is the correct way to wish someone good night, so he starts kissing everyone as well, by which point Sandra and Annie evidently also think it’d be funny to join in, and...
Well. Chris ends up receiving a lot more kisses than he was mentally or emotionally prepared for, to be honest.
He spends the night desperately and unsuccessfully trying to rearrange his confused feelings about the drama society into a shape that makes sense to him. Lying here on the floor, he’s not exactly going to spend it sleeping, after all.
When Max tries to kiss him good morning, Chris cracks.
“No, look, stop this,” Chris demands, scrambling to his feet. “Stop this. From now on, nobody is allowed to kiss me if they’re not making an actual romantic overture. It’s confusing and it’s strange.”
“We’re in this hotel room again tonight,” Robert comments. From the tone of his voice, he is making an objection, but Chris can’t fathom where the objection lies.
“I very much doubt we’ll still have it once the cleaners see what’s happened to the bed,” Chris says. “What’s your point?”
“I won’t be able to wish you good night properly,” Robert says, warningly. “You won’t sleep well, Chris.”
“Fantastic,” Chris says. “As it happens, I didn’t sleep terribly well after five of my castmates inexplicably kissed me, so I’m prepared to take that chance.”
“It was perfectly explicable. I explained very clearly.”
“I’m going to have breakfast,” Chris says. “None of you are invited to join me.”
As predicted, the hotel politely informs them that, if they attempt to stay again tonight, the police will be getting involved. Annie books their new accommodations for after the play, at least, so the room arrangements should hopefully be slightly more sane.
The play itself is... not a perfect performance, perhaps. Still, nobody needed urgent medical attention, and that’s always a victory. Well, nobody in the drama society, at least; an ambulance did need to be called for one or two members of the audience.
Robert put on a fairly poor performance; he always seemed to be looking at Chris, rather than the characters he was actually supposed to be addressing. He’s occasionally paid too much attention to Chris in a scene before, but never on this scale. Chris might need to have a word with him about that.
A couple of wrong trains later, they eventually make it to the new hotel. Chris is looking forward to a proper night’s sleep in an actual—
“Right!” Annie exclaims, returning from the check-in desk and clapping her hands together. “Our room is on the second floor.”
“Our room?” Chris echoes.
Annie looks startled, and then shifty.
“Annie,” Chris says, “did you only book us one room?”
“I thought—” Annie shrugs. “I thought it was really fun and cosy, all of us staying together. Like a sleepover.”
“Yeah!” Dennis exclaims. “It was great, right?”
Chris squeezes his eyes shut for a moment. “Annie.”
“I told them to give us loads of blankets,” Annie says. “So it’ll be more comfortable, right? And I got them to take the bed out, so we’ll have more room.”
Unfortunately, Robert’s ridiculous idea of appropriate bedtime conduct has caught on, and once again half the drama society’s members go around kissing everyone. Chris watches warily, standing against a wall, ready to move at speed if necessary. But they do seem to be respecting his request, at least; nobody approaches him.
Until Robert.
“No,” Chris says, as soon as Robert locks eyes with him.
“Chris, I need you to trust me. I’ve taken what you said on board.”
“So you’re not going to kiss me,” Chris says, unconvinced.
Robert shakes his head. “That’s not what you said, Chris.”
What the hell is he trying now? “That is absolutely what I said. I said no one was allowed to kiss me. That includes you.”
“You said no one was allowed to kiss you if they weren’t making a romantic overture.”
“What difference does that make?”
“I’ve spent all day endeavouring to fall in love with you,” Robert says. “Frankly, I think I should be applauded for managing it by the deadline. You’re not an easy man to love, you know.”
Wh—
What?
“What on Earth are you talking about?” Chris asks. It takes him a couple of efforts to get the words out.
Is this a dream? It would be very convenient if this could turn out to be a dream. But that would require Chris to have fallen asleep, which is apparently impossible in the company of these people.
“I think I’ve been perfectly clear,” Robert says. “It’s essential that I wish you good night, because I am a person who respects courtesy and tradition. You won’t permit it unless it’s romantic. Fine. I’m in love with you, ergo the kiss is a romantic one and you must accept it.”
“Must?” Chris demands. “What do you mean, must? I’m under no obligation to be kissed!”
Robert looks outraged. “Those were your terms, Chris!”
“Because it didn’t occur to me that you were enough of a lunatic to do this!”
“I’ve gone to a lot of effort! Entirely for the sake of ensuring you sleep well! It’s very important for the director to be well-rested, you know.”
That throws Chris. Maybe it’s the sleep deprivation; it really is important to be well-rested. “You... made yourself fall in love with me because you wanted to help me sleep?”
“Well, why else would I do it?” Robert asks.
For a while, in this conversation, Chris was too bewildered to pay attention to anything but Robert. He’s slowly becoming aware, now, of the silence in the room, the way everyone else is watching them.
“Could we... could we talk about this privately?” Chris asks.
Max wolf-whistles, and Chris flushes. “Actually, no, let’s talk about it here. If you’re really in love with me, I’m – I’m sorry you went to that... emotional trouble.”
“It’s simply another role,” Robert says, solemnly. “No apology necessary.”
Chris swallows. Last night’s assorted kisses left him with some very discomfiting feelings, and he doubts it’ll be any better when there are actual romantic undertones involved. But...
Well. A part of him is honestly a little touched that Robert would do this for him, even if the specific thing Robert has done for him is absolutely insane.
“You can kiss me good night, I suppose,” Chris says. “If you really must.”
“See, was that so hard?” Robert asks.
Chris isn’t sure what to expect, tenses up a little as Robert approaches him. But it’s the same chaste kiss it was yesterday. A goodnight kiss, nothing more; the only thing that’s changed is the knowledge that Robert is now apparently in love with him.
“Good night, Chris,” Robert says.
Chris touches his fingers to his own lips, automatically. “Good night, Robert.”
A few seconds pass. They still haven’t broken eye contact.
Max raises a hand, grinning. “Hey, I just realised I’m in love with you too.”
“No,” Chris says.
no subject
Off to a great start already!
I love Robert's confidence!
Becoming a polycule as a joke!
You can't say he didn't offer an explanation! It was even in English!
I love that this is not the worst by their standards!
Chris, you need to get on her level.
It took him nearly twenty-four hours to fall in love, Chris! Be impressed!
I love that this makes a weird kind of sense.
Aw, Chris! Let people love you!
no subject
So much fun :D <3