Riona (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rionaleonhart) wrote2026-08-12 10:51 am
rionaleonhart) wrote2026-08-12 10:51 am
I Could Have Modified His Eyes And Clothes, But I Love That He's Still Recognisable Unedited.
The Murder at Haversham Manor, 2012 (dir. Chris Bean)
I'm sorry, everyone. I had the sudden realisation that Galuf of Final Fantasy V was basically a ready-made pixellated Robert Grove, and there was only one thing I could do. Someone should make The RPG That Goes Wrong.
While I'm posting stupid Goes Wrong things, here are a few ficlets! (Not all the ficlets I've written lately; I'm keeping a couple in reserve in the hope I can combine them into a single fic.)
The Goes Wrong Show, Robert/Chris, safeword, 300 words. Originally written for the 'No One Nuts November' bad sex challenge on Tumblr.
It’s only when he’s on his back, Robert looming over him, that it really hits Chris: this is happening, this is real, this is happening. His entire body goes cold. Robert is simply too big, too imposing, too impossible to trust; he’s going to – he’s going to split Chris in half, or choke him to death, or—
“Safeword!” Chris exclaims, frantic.
Robert pauses. “Hm?”
He’s still poised for... for entry, so to speak. It’s making Chris extremely nervous.
“I know we didn’t discuss a safeword,” Chris manages to say. “I thought the word itself might suffice for, for—”
“Chris,” Robert says. “What is a safeword?”
Oh, God. He has to explain this concept now? In this position? He can barely think. “It’s... it’s a way of saying I’d like you to stop, please.”
Robert is frowning. “Why not just say stop?”
This is getting worse and worse. He’s starting to wish he’d just stayed quiet and let Robert get on with it. “Well, there... there could be situations in which I might say stop but not actually want you to stop.”
“Why on Earth would you tell me to stop if you don’t want me to stop? Mixed messages, Chris. Confusing direction. This is exactly why every play you put on is a disaster.”
“I...”
He has no idea what to say. The idea of attempting to explain any further is horrendous.
“I... suppose you’re right,” Chris mumbles, in the end.
“You want me to stop, then?” Robert asks. “Or is this one of those occasions when you apparently don’t say what you mean?”
Chris presses both hands over his face. “I think I’d like to stop, please.”
“It would have been a great deal simpler if you’d said that in the first place,” Robert remarks. “Fine.”
The Goes Wrong Show, Annie and Vanessa, 430 words. Written in response to an Annie/Vanessa request on Discord.
Chris isn’t in the rehearsal room, or his dressing room, or the cafeteria. It’s no surprise, Vanessa knows; she’s here early. But she just wants to get this over with, get out of here, move on. Maybe if she just leaves the letter on his dressing table—
She rounds a corner and almost walks straight into Annie.
“Vanessa!” Annie exclaims, lighting up. “Glad I’m not the only one here.”
It’s strange to see her smiling. Vanessa’s been thinking about yesterday’s fiasco of a performance ever since it happened, burning with embarrassment; she’d almost forgotten that smiling is presumably still something people do. “G-good morning.”
“Congratulations on your first play with us, by the way!” The words send an arrow straight through Vanessa; she winces. “Ready for the next one?”
“I’m not actually here for rehearsals,” Vanessa says. “I was just looking for Chris.”
“Oh, he just sent a text,” Annie says. “The rehearsal’s cancelled. Dennis got stuck in a water butt again.”
So Chris isn’t here. Sudden changes of plan have always made Vanessa slightly nauseous, but she’s already so humiliated that she barely feels it. “I – I wanted to give him a letter.”
“I can pass it on to him, if you like,” Annie offers, holding out a hand.
“I’d appreciate that.” Vanessa digs the letter out of her bag, hands it over. “Thank—”
She tails off. Annie is opening the envelope. Vanessa’s not sure whether to object; Annie is doing it so naturally and casually that... maybe it’s a normal thing to do?
Annie flips the letter open, and her eyes widen. “You’re leaving the drama society? Already?”
“I—” Vanessa hadn’t planned for anyone else to find out, not in front of her like this. “I let everyone down so badly at the performance yesterday. I just don’t think the stage is for me.”
“Let everyone down?” Annie asks, looking up at her.
“I froze up,” Vanessa says. “I just... fell apart, the moment we deviated from the script. I barely spoke a word.”
“Better than some people,” Annie says. “Did you hear some of the stuff Max and Robert improvised?”
Vanessa shakes her head. “The whole thing was a disaster. You can’t possibly think I belong here, after such a dire first performance.”
Annie laughs at that. “Did you ever see any of our plays before you joined?”
Vanessa hesitates. “I... I didn’t, to be honest.”
“Come on.” Annie waves her towards the cafeteria. “Let’s grab something to eat, and I’ll tell you how our other plays have gone. You definitely belong here.”
The Goes Wrong Show, Vanessa, How to Get Away with Murder, 160 words. Written in response to a request from valicelavidad on Tumblr: 'was wondering if you had any thoughts re cornley drama society finding themselves in a HTGAWM situation?'
Vanessa huddles against the wall of the rehearsal room, shaking. Staring at the body of the choreographer.
Is he dead? She thinks he’s dead. Oh, God, he’s dead, isn’t he?
All she wanted was to come in early, get a head start on the ballroom scene. She just got frustrated with him constantly changing the timing, she just gave him a shove, she didn’t mean to—
Chris strides into the room, clapping his hands together. “Right! For today’s session, I thought we would—”
He freezes mid-step. Staring. Vanessa lets out a sob and tries to hide her face against her knee.
More footsteps. Gasps and whispers, and this can’t be happening, this can’t be happening, this can’t—
“Oh, Ness,” Annie’s voice says, softly.
A hand touches Vanessa’s shoulder, startling her into looking up. It’s Dennis. She was expecting them all to shrink away from her.
“That time again, is it?” Robert asks.
“You’ll be fine,” Annie assures her. “We’ve hidden loads of bodies.”
I don't often stick around in a fandom long enough to become recognisable, so I'm delighted to have found myself accruing a reputation in the Goes Wrong fandom. Multiple people have referred to me as 'the Robert guy' or 'a Robert connoisseur'. It's the name I've always wanted to make for myself.
Yes, I've only known Robert Grove existed since December. I stand by it. It's the name I've always wanted to make for myself; I just haven't always known it's the name I wanted to make for myself.
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I stand by it. It's the name I've always wanted to make for myself; I just haven't always known it's the name I wanted to make for myself. this is the type of energy that we could all be bringing more of to fandom tbh. kudos!
But also, every time you bring up the Goes Wrong Show fandom, I'm struck by how skewed my perspective of it is. Me over here, "What do you mean, it's not filled to the brim with people equally fascinated by Robert Grove?? That doesn't sound right..."
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(Robert isn't necessarily the most lethal member of the drama society; these are mostly Robert-related because Robert's the character for whom I seek out supplemental material. But I do think there's a fair chance that Robert is the most lethal member of the drama society.)
I made a 'who's your favourite member of the Cornley Drama Society?' poll on Tumblr, and Robert came joint last with Sandra, each with four of 149 votes! I was a little shocked. I'm not expecting everyone to be as horny for Robert Grove as I am, but I thought he'd at least win fans over by being entertaining! Alas, they're all into Trevor and Chris.
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I remember you talking about that poll! It was another one of those "am I looking into a mirror universe" moments for me... except I think that actually, in fact, I am the person from the mirror universe, not everyone else, lol.
Alas, they're all into Trevor I'm picturing Robert going, "but he's not even an actor!!"
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Robert is frowning. “Why not just say stop?”
He does have a point there, I've never really got that either.
Vanessa’s been thinking about yesterday’s fiasco of a performance ever since it happened, burning with embarrassment; she’d almost forgotten that smiling is presumably still something people do.
Vanessa you wonderful disaster
“The rehearsal’s cancelled. Dennis got stuck in a water butt again.”
Amazing
“Better than some people,” Annie says. “Did you hear some of the stuff Max and Robert improvised?”
Oh god I bet
Annie laughs at that. “Did you ever see any of our plays before you joined?”
QUITE.
“You’ll be fine,” Annie assures her. “We’ve hidden loads of bodies.”
I can well imagine
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(The real-life Goes Wrong actors have a safeword for performances, incidentally, because it can be hard to tell when someone's actually in pain amongst all the staged injuries.)
Thank you so much!
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He has no idea! Chris knows more about Robert, and Chris is being forced to explain kink! Perfect!
I love that Robert went in this direction.
Ah, the classic "Everyone doesn't feel as bad about me screwing up as I do?" moment of confusion.
These things happen!
Aw! Vanessa, relax! You're with your people! You're going to make terrible theater together!
Perfect!
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Thank you so much!
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Incredible work. Love this for you.
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