Pedantry High-Five!

[rionaleonhart]

THE WEEK OF A THOUSAND MINUS NINE HUNDRED AND NINETY-SEVEN ESSAYS IS OVER. JOY.

In my Approaches to Literary Studies seminar, one of my fellow students said, "So there aren't actually sexy times in The Prelude?" It was marvellous. Then someone made a truly terrible joke along the lines of "What do pirates drink? L-ARRR-GER", and I spent the rest of the seminar thinking about dreadful jokes (one of the highlights of my October was a series of 'bee jokes' batted back and forth between my brothers, beginning with the already fairly awful "Why do wasps buzz? Because they like to BEE annoying" and completely deteriorating to "Why do bears live in the woods? BEE-cause... they can") and bursting out laughing at inappropriate moments. LOOK, THE WORSE A JOKE IS THE MORE HILARIOUS I FIND IT. DON'T JUDGE ME. IF YOU WANT TO TELL ME SOME REALLY BAD JOKES, FEEL FREE.

(I love my Approaches to Literary Studies seminars. We always end up getting completely sidetracked and discussing the similarities between Hamlet and The Lion King.)

Also, I am catching up on Series Four of House - I've just watched the fourth episode of the series - and I have developed a distinct fondness for Thirteen. She sort of reminds me of Cameron, back when Cameron was lovely. PLEASE DO NOT RUIN THIS ONE, HOUSE WRITERS.

Comments

[culf.livejournal.com]

I'm liking Thirteen as well. And Wilson is the most awesome ever in this season! And Cuddy's sadly not so much, so I'm considering giving up my House/Cuddy-shipt in favor of House/Wilson. Cuddy is no longer strong enough to keep up with him, which saddens me, but bring on the hot man love.

[talcat.livejournal.com]

I love your terrible jokes I'm gonna inflict them on my brother.

[rhosyndu.livejournal.com]

My favourite joke from an eight year old, ever:

What kind of bees make milk?
Boo-bees.

I'll get my coat.

[rionaleonhart]

That is whole new levels of awful. I think I love it.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

Thirteen is also very, very pretty, pretty in such a way that she reminds me of Jess from the hustling show.

[draegonhawke.livejournal.com]

[(I love my Approaches to Literary Studies seminars. We always end up getting completely sidetracked and discussing the similarities between Hamlet and The Lion King.)]

I AM SO GLAD I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE THIS HAPPENS TO. Except in my case it was 9th Grade English.

And, by the way, missy, you are to write lots of Man/Car fanfiction. There! You have been reminded.

[littlemoose.livejournal.com]

There are two sausages in a frying pan and one sausage says to the other sausage; "Gosh, it's hot in here!" To which the other replies; "OH MY GOD, A TALKING SAUSAGE!"


This one's better spoken, but hey...


Knock knock

Who's there?

The Interrupting Cow

The Inte...MOOOOO!

[culf.livejournal.com]

I've considered the similarities between Hamlet and The Lion King as well!
Oh, and talking of knock, knock-jokes, I know the best one ever.

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
You know.
You know who?
That's right, AVADA KEDAVRA!

Rubbish jokes? Allow me!

[ms-katonic.livejournal.com]

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

What's red and smells like paint?

Red paint.

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

Thankyouverymuch, I'll be here all night...

Re: Rubbish jokes? Allow me!

[rionaleonhart]

I am truly ashamed by how much I laughed at the 'red paint' one. Thank you!

[strangeumbrella.livejournal.com]

I thought you would be pleased (or, well, not-pleased) to hear that I am catching up with House to the degree that Cameron is becoming inexplicably manipulative! lol what. (ALSO WILSON'S ACCOUNT HAS JUST BEEN FROZEN MAYBE FOR LYING TO PROTECT HOUSE ONOES)

[rionaleonhart]

Oh, Cameron. I used to love her so, and then Series Three came along and augh what happened?

(Also, when I saw 'account' and 'frozen' my mind immediately leapt in entirely the wrong direction. DON'T MESS WITH THE POLICE; THEY CAN FREEZE YOUR LIVEJOURNAL ACCOUNT LIKE THAT.)

[strangeumbrella.livejournal.com]

LOL, WILSON GOT CAUGHT UP IN THE STRIKETHROUGH. I LIKE THIS THEORY. HE COULD NEVER TELL HOUSE ABOUT HIS JOURNAL BECAUSE HE WOULD BE MOCKED FOREVER AND SO WAS ALL "MY ACCOUNT HAS BEEN FROZEN! ...MY BANK ACCOUNT OBVIOUSLY UM."

...THIS COMMENT DID HAVE TO BE ALL IN CAPS YES

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

I used to know a terrible joke in Tagalog, but I forgot it.

I did have a weird conversation with a friend in the Philippines; I was trying to explain how some humor is really culture specific, and she didn't quite believe me. Then she told this joke;

"Who killed Magellan?"
"Lapu-Lapu."
"Who killed Lapu-Lapu?"
"...."
"The cuisinera"

After I looked blank, she explained that the cuisinera meant the cook. After I continued to look blank, she explained that Lapu-Lapu could also be a type of fish.

At which point I basically just went, "See, that's what I was talking about!"

[proleptic-fancy.livejournal.com]

This post reminded me that I need to go read Hamlet. Bugger.

Anyway, what's red and sits in a corner?

A naughty strawberry.


What's yellow and dangerous?

Shark-infested custard.

[jekesta]

What's green and invisible?

This cabbage. [handing someone an invisible cabbage.]

What's red and invisible?

This tomato. [handing someone an invisible tomato.]

What's yellow and invisible . . .

IT WORKS FOR SO MANY INVISIBLE OBJECTS AND NEVER STOPS MAKING ME HAPPY. I have very little shame.

Knock Knock
who's there?
Control Freak
co- Now you say 'control freak who'.

[newbie1990.livejournal.com]

THE CLASSIC OF ALL RUBBISH JOKES:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side. (Or to BEE on the other side, continuing the bee theme.)

[rionaleonhart]

to BEE on the other side

I AM LAUGHING MYSELF SENSELESS.

[bubbles-san.livejournal.com]

Nonono, it was BEE-cause the turkey dared him to.

I'll go 'way now.