This Is An Actual Transcription Of My Train Of Thought Whilst Typing.

[rionaleonhart]

The Top Gear trio would be the worst fellows for House ever. Cuddy would just give up and cry in a corner. Actually, I can't quite work out whom they would drive off the brink of sanity first: her or House. Let us assume, for the purposes of this exercise, that House is sane.

Let's see. Jeremy would refuse to play any of House's games. Richard would probably -

...oh, God. Richard would be Chase, wouldn't he? He'd look up to House and aspire to be like him.

In fact, Richard is a sort of Chase to Jeremy's House.

And James May is totally James Wilson.

I can't believe I've never made an entry about this before.

Comments

[rionaleonhart]

I imagine that, if the Top Gear trio actually were House's fellows, he'd try to manipulate the three of them into a horribly tangled mess of sexual relationships, purely because it would amuse him.

[talcat.livejournal.com]

This is true but the sex wouldn't be as pretty and not worth as much selling it to gay porn sites or the nurses.

Or WOULD IT?!

[rionaleonhart]

I actually really want someone to write this now. Doubtful, confused, manipulative, incredibly screwed-up sex? Cuddy would work out what House was up to eventually and be absolutely horrified. Wilson would just go "...you did what?" And Jeremy, James and Richard would end up desperately trying to repair their friendship, thwarted at every turn by House, who thinks that friendship is so much more fun when it's been twisted out of all recognisability, and this could be such an intriguing fic.

I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO WRITE TOP GEAR ANGST.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Why not?

[rionaleonhart]

It's just - I - oh, dear. I did once swear that I wouldn't write Top Gear angst, because I watch Top Gear for the fun and the friendship and the ridiculousness, but after crossing it over with Silent Hill and flinging James into a universe in which nobody recognises him I suspect I may have sort of broken that resolution already. And it could be really interesting.

If only I had the first idea of how to go about writing it. Bloody writer's block.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

To be fair, them wandering around Silent Hill was as low-angst as possible under the circumstances.

But the circumstances were Silent Hill.

[talcat.livejournal.com]

And Jeremy, James and Richard would end up desperately trying to repair their friendship, thwarted at every turn by House, who thinks that friendship is so much more fun when it's been twisted out of all recognisability,

Or they could turn tables on House while letting him THINK that's whats happening surely the three of them with the Stig's help could outwit house.

[jira-rd.livejournal.com]

Black or white Stig?

[talcat.livejournal.com]

White Stig!

[jira-rd.livejournal.com]

:D Black Stig go BOOM!

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

You're aware that 'getting Richard and Chase to sleep together' and 'getting the Top Gear trio into a horribly tangled mess of sexual relationships' aren't mutually contradictory events. He could do them both on the same visit.

I'm not picturing House, having gotten Richard and Chase to have sex, sitting next to Jeremy while watching, and making some very pointed remarks about how it all looks, and what he bets Jeremy wants to be doing right now.

[talcat.livejournal.com]

And Jeremy doing the same back right at him!

[rionaleonhart]

I am fairly certain that putting Jeremy and House in the same room would have terrifying(ly brilliant) results.

[talcat.livejournal.com]

I am fairly certain that putting Jeremy and House in the same room would have terrifying(ly brilliant) results.

Which I would want to see!