"If Gene Wanted To Survive The Present, He'd Need A Job On Top Gear."

[rionaleonhart]

rionaleonhart: Well, I'm fairly sure Ken Livingstone was trying to get them eaten by the giant squid for environmental reasons. (pause) ...I've never said that before.

sacred_sarcasm: Jeremy could shoot the unicorn, eat it and only then realise that it was Richard.
rionaleonhart: You're a terrible person.

I met up with sacred_sarcasm today, which was, quite frankly, amazing. We sat in a coffee shop and talked for three solid hours about a gigantic 'EVERYONE GOES TO HOGWARTS' crossover fic based entirely on the discussions about which houses characters would be in, how Deathly Hallows was essentially a great big poke in the eye for fandom, whether the Top Gear trio would be any better at alien-hunting than Torchwood, the fact that the Torchwood team quite clearly need to get a hamster called Richard, the fact that any cute fluffy pets the Torchwood team acquire are more or less guaranteed to be evil lesbians bent on world domination, Richard Hammond the rainbow unicorn and the fact that a Top Gear/The Lion King crossover would never work because lion cubs can't drive cars.

Also, I, er, may have promised to write Top Gear werewolf-fic. Just to warn you. But sacred_sarcasm now has to write 'Richard Hammond is a rainbow unicorn. JEREMY/JAMES LOVE SOMEHOW ENSUES', so perhaps I shall actually seem relatively sane.

(So, now that sacred_sarcasm is within a convenient train-ride's distance of London, when is the next London TGS meetup going to be?)

Comments

[th-esaurus.livejournal.com]

Also, I, er, may have promised to write Top Gear werewolf-fic.

I'M SURE YOU HAVE PROMISED OTHER FIC BEFORE THIS. *peers*

It sounds like you have met a cracktacular kindred spirit today. Good times!

[rionaleonhart]

SHUT UP, I DON'T HAVE AN UNFINISHED JAMES/RICHARD/OLIVER FIC HAUNTING ME ON MY HARD-DRIVE. I did warn Sacred that my track record with promised fic is not the best.

And indeed! Crack-addled conversations are always marvellous. Perhaps not conversations that are addled with actual crack, but you know what I mean.

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

Metaquoted (http://community.livejournal.com/metaquotes/6504621.html).

Lions can't drive cars indeed. :D

[rionaleonhart]

STARTLED FLAILING. Thank you so much!

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

"but would there be carporn? :D"

Oh, you naive commenter, it's Top Gear. There's ALWAYS going to be carporn!

I love how everybody goes and continues the mad crossover ideas.

[kadrin.livejournal.com]

I recently realised that the Top Gear boys are plainly Etherites with high scores in Forces and Entropy. (And, at least in Richard's case, Life.) I am not sure if you will have any idea what this means, but trust me - if you do, I am sure you will agree with me!

[rionaleonhart]

I did not know what Etherites were! And now, having looked up the Sons of Ether on Wikipedia, I am... not much the wiser, really. But I am sure you are correct!

[cryforthemoon.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you had fun. :D

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm fairly sure Ken Livingstone was trying to get them eaten by the giant squid for environmental reasons. (pause) ...I've never said that before.

So, I take it you read my fic, then?

[rionaleonhart]

I did indeed! You are an absolute lunatic.

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

Wait, was this the squid/rentboys fic? What? WHERE?

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

Well, no team can be WORSE than Torchwood, and a fluffy hamster would obviously get eaten by Myfanwy, and look, if I can make Top Gear/Beauty and the Beast work, then someone else can totally make Top Gear/The Lion King work.

Also, Hammond the rainbow unicorn? Because now I'm imagining My Little Pony, and that just worries me.

YES WEREWOLF FIC! Jeremy will clearly claim that it makes no difference for James anyway. OR BETTER YET, James has always been a werewolf and no one has ever noticed.

[rionaleonhart]

I - I can't actually remember how we came up with Hammond the rainbow unicorn. I think it was that we were discussing a fic containing the following quote:

In the room of requirements, it looks like they are in the middle of an enchanted fairytale forest. There is a unicorn with a lilac tail and mane. Its horn is lilac and gold. Pink petals are continuously falling and disappearing before they hit the ground. Fairies are fluttering around playing with each other and watching the only humans in the room. (Quote from here.)

Sacred commented that she didn't think unicorns were generally a very successful fic ingredient, I challenged her to write a fanfic that finished with Jeremy and James riding on rainbow unicorns into the sunset, and then I believe we both realised the lack of Richard and concluded that he would have to be one of the unicorns at exactly the same time.

[serriadh.livejournal.com]

it will be based on my little pony, yes. But with jokes about horns and riding and virgins, I expect.

[perrie.livejournal.com]

Your metaquoting was amazing, your fanship is amazing and you can READ TORCHWOOD EMAILS?! Friending. So friending because, um, you're awesome. :-D Hi. XD

[rionaleonhart]

Hello; it's nice to meet you! And yes, I was very excited to discover the Torchwood e-mails. Oh, Owen; I know I shouldn't like you, but you're so very entertaining.

[gasmask.livejournal.com]

No, what the world needs is not Hammond as a unicorn, but rather, HAMMOND/UNICORN FANFICTION.

Please write it this very second. ;)

[rionaleonhart]

We were actually forced to change the track of the conversation very abruptly when my mind started drifting towards horrible horrible Clarkson/unicorn!Richard thoughts.

[darthfi.livejournal.com]

Werewolf fic?

Andy and I have one we can sic on you...

Which fandom icon does one choose?

[saturnial.livejournal.com]

I am here from metaquotes, incredibly amused, and curious as to what the London TGS is. Anything that involves Torchwood/HP/Top Gear slashy crossovers sounds liks something I need to get involved with... O_O

A problem I have far, far too often.

[rionaleonhart]

TGS is topgearslash; the London TGS meetups are, not terribly surprisingly, occasions on which members of topgearslash gather in London to talk about Top Gear, slash, Top Gear slash and, inexplicably, zombies.

[x-losfic.livejournal.com]

re: Hogwarts House:

"The Prydonian Chapter (also known as the Prydon Chapter) was known to produce devious Time Lords, and more than a few renegades.

More Time Lords from this chapter have assumed the office of Lord President than all others put together. They wear scarlet and orange ceremonial robes (DW: The Deadly Assassin). The Prydonian Academy was located some distance up Mount Cadon. (NA: Timewyrm: Revelation) "

So aren't the Prydonians all Slytherin anyway? Including the Rani, the Doctor and the Master?

[wolfenkahlon.livejournal.com]

I will just note that I heartilly approve of Top Gear Werewolf fic!

[serriadh.livejournal.com]

Oh, YOU! You had to quote the worst part of the WHOLE conversation, didn't you :D

'twas lovely to meet you - will type up my own account at some point (am usin g course computer to read this at lunch time!)...

WEREWOLF FIC!

(Oh, and Clarkson is a Hufflepuff. Just in case anyone still wants to persist with their totally WRONG opinion otherwise. And Richard!unicorn should be shot, but I think probably I'll grant him a reprieve.)

[queencallipygos.livejournal.com]

One of the many "Hi, I'm here from metaquotes" commenters you'll be getting. I just wanted to brace you for the possibility of getting a very enthusiastic later comment from a woman in Brooklyn who is trying to simultaneously type and squeal with glee; that would be my roommate, who is a huge Top Gear fan (we don't get the episodes quickly enough on BBC America, so she downloads them and watches them on her computer) and I have sent her a link telling her that if she didn't know you yet, she should.

[rionaleonhart]

Hee! Well, enormous Top Gear fans are always very welcome in this journal.

[rubaiyyat.livejournal.com]

[magi] ...okay, pondering how to do serious!RainbowUnicorn fic has done hairline cracks to my brain. (Because I'm a sucker for echidnafic? IDK.) Can I have a stab at, like, Squall?

[rionaleonhart]

You are always very welcome to write about Squall the Rainbow Unicorn.