Riona (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rionaleonhart) wrote2008-09-28 08:08 pm
rionaleonhart) wrote2008-09-28 08:08 pm
Entry tags:
Does Whatever An Iron Can.
DC comics from forty years ago are absolutely hilarious. We've got colossal boxes of my dad's old superhero comics in the attic, and I've just started looking through them. It is an interesting experience! Also, my dad becomes a gigantic fanboy when I talk to him about them, which is a bit brilliant.
One of my favourite stories is the hypothetical reversed-role tale 'Killer Kent Vs. Super Luthor!', because it is ridiculous on so many levels.
Mrs Kent: This is the third bank job we've had to pull this month!
Mr Kent: That's because we need lots of loot to pay Dr. Markem for the operation he performed today on our son, Clark! (Ahahaha, 'our son, Clark'? 'Our son, Clark. You remember that our son's name is Clark, don't you, dear?')
[In our imaginary tale, the Kents are Clark's real parents--and also notorious bank robbers!]
Mr Kent: But the operation was worth every G-note we had to pay! Now, thanks to Dr. Markem... we can be absolutely sure that Clark will grow up to be a criminal, like us!
That's right: they robbed a bank to pay for an operation to make their son evil. I know that some parents are keen on carrying on the family business, but, er...
OH, WAIT, IT GETS BETTER. Do you want to hear exactly what this operation entailed?
Dr. Markem: I gave you your criminal mind! Years ago, when you were a child, I inserted a tiny chromo-stimulant in your brain! I made it from evil genes and chromosomes I took from your real parents. It duplicated their criminal tendencies in you!
EVIL GENES, YOU GUYS. EVIL GENES. Also, I notice I seem to have somehow picked up these comics' bizarre tendency to emphasise everything despite never having read them before. Hmmm. (There is also a villain called Mxyzptlk, who is from the fifth dimension and can only be defeated by tricking him into saying his name backwards. OH, AND SUPERMAN HAS THE POWER OF SUPER-VENTRILOQUISM. ALTHOUGH DON'T ASK ME HOW THAT DIFFERS FROM NORMAL VENTRILOQUISM. AND SO DOES HIS SUPER-DOG. I have no idea why I didn't start reading these earlier.)
Did you know that Lex Luthor wants to kill Superman because Superman made him bald? I didn't. I laughed for about five minutes when my dad told me. SUPERHERO COMICS ARE AMAZING.
One of my favourite stories is the hypothetical reversed-role tale 'Killer Kent Vs. Super Luthor!', because it is ridiculous on so many levels.
Mrs Kent: This is the third bank job we've had to pull this month!
Mr Kent: That's because we need lots of loot to pay Dr. Markem for the operation he performed today on our son, Clark! (Ahahaha, 'our son, Clark'? 'Our son, Clark. You remember that our son's name is Clark, don't you, dear?')
[In our imaginary tale, the Kents are Clark's real parents--and also notorious bank robbers!]
Mr Kent: But the operation was worth every G-note we had to pay! Now, thanks to Dr. Markem... we can be absolutely sure that Clark will grow up to be a criminal, like us!
That's right: they robbed a bank to pay for an operation to make their son evil. I know that some parents are keen on carrying on the family business, but, er...
OH, WAIT, IT GETS BETTER. Do you want to hear exactly what this operation entailed?
Dr. Markem: I gave you your criminal mind! Years ago, when you were a child, I inserted a tiny chromo-stimulant in your brain! I made it from evil genes and chromosomes I took from your real parents. It duplicated their criminal tendencies in you!
EVIL GENES, YOU GUYS. EVIL GENES. Also, I notice I seem to have somehow picked up these comics' bizarre tendency to emphasise everything despite never having read them before. Hmmm. (There is also a villain called Mxyzptlk, who is from the fifth dimension and can only be defeated by tricking him into saying his name backwards. OH, AND SUPERMAN HAS THE POWER OF SUPER-VENTRILOQUISM. ALTHOUGH DON'T ASK ME HOW THAT DIFFERS FROM NORMAL VENTRILOQUISM. AND SO DOES HIS SUPER-DOG. I have no idea why I didn't start reading these earlier.)
Did you know that Lex Luthor wants to kill Superman because Superman made him bald? I didn't. I laughed for about five minutes when my dad told me. SUPERHERO COMICS ARE AMAZING.
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Okay, that's pretty damn special.
Also, you need to read this: http://www.superdickery.com/ Especially the "Everything's better with monkeys" section. Because it's true!
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I still can't get over EVIL GENES. Blast that evil DNA! Damn you, adenine, for corrupting that innocent thymine!
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