'I Don't Understand Why Everyone Thinks Paedophiles Are So Funny.'

[rionaleonhart]

Here is a dilemma with which my brother presented me a couple of days ago:

Fred: Would you rather turn everyone who looked at you to stone or have snakes for hair?
Riona: I'd rather have snakes for hair.
Fred: But they bite you.
Riona: Oh. Are they poisonous?
Fred: No.
Riona: Right. I'd still rather have the snakes.
Fred: And they call up their vulture friends to peck at you.
Riona: I'd take away their mobile phones.
Fred: You've got no arms.

I love my family.

Whilst I'm recounting conversations, an exchange I had with a fellow English Language student on the bus:

Riona: I can never be allowed to have a child, because I'd just study its language and forget to feed it.
Nick: Social Services will come to take it away, and you'll just be going, 'No! It hasn't reached the jargoning stage!'
Riona: I've been watching the small child over there. I could kidnap it, write my dissertation on it...
Nick: 'The Baby I Stole', by Harriet Evans.
Riona: It'd make an impression.


I have now watched all but one episode of Derren Brown's old Mind Control series, and at the very end of one of the episodes, just after the credits, Derren Brown freaking poledances. I mean, all right, it's just a two-second shot of Derren revolving around a pole, fully clothed, but my reaction was still the verbal equivalent of '!!!!!' and a rapid rewinding.

You glorious lunatic, Derren.


derrenbrownfic, guys! I think all the people on my flist who would be interested may have joined already, but I thought I'd give a reminder just in case. (I maaaaaay be posting a Derren Brown/Robert Chase fic later today (EDIT: it's up there now!). It's got sex in it, and, as you know, I can't write sex scenes, so you can laugh at me.)