rionaleonhart | 'I'll Be In Germany Next Year' Has Entirely Changed Its Meaning.

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'I'll Be In Germany Next Year' Has Entirely Changed Its Meaning.

Ladies and gentlemen, the worst pun I have ever made:

(RIONA and housemate RACHAEL are cleaning out the refrigerator, in preparation for moving house.)
Riona: We appear to have some freak grapes in here. They expired on the twenty-second of May, and yet they still look fresh and green.
Rachael: Oh, really? And I bought that pack from SPAR last week, and they had mould growing on them the next day.
Riona: They must have been a pack of Dorian grapes.

I'm sorry, but not nearly as sorry as I should be.

In other news:

- I love Sweden/Finland, but it simultaneously makes me a bit sad. Don't be so afraid of Sweden, Finland! Sweden is a sweetheart! I'll take him off your hands if you don't want him.

(HERE ARE SOME SWEDEN/FINLAND STRIPS (read the panels from right to left): warm now?, have you met my wife?, SWEDEN HOW ARE YOU SO ADORABLE (from the Polish-Swedish wars), NO SERIOUSLY HOW (can't find the translator for this one), watch what you say around someone so determined to attend to your needs (1, 2, from the battle for America).

I love that the Hetalia fandom have agreed on the styles in which to translate characters like Sweden and Poland. Poland's valley-girl speak brings joy to my heart.)

- I, er, appear to have applied for Germany/Italy at

1sentence. Whoops. (I'm not quite sure how I feel about Germany/Italy. I adore their relationship, but it has to remain quite innocent, because after a certain point my mind starts going 'HANG ON, THEY CAN'T DO THAT, ITALY IS MENTALLY ABOUT TEN'. These sentences are entirely rated G.) In writing the sentences, I have discovered that I am completely incapable of adopting Italy's perspective. I seem to get on quite well with Germany's, though, and as I love Germany to bits I think this is a good thing.

- You should all also make claims at

1sentence, incidentally.

- New Torchwood tonight, and, whilst I swore during the last series that I was going to stop watching this dreadful thing, we all knew I was lying. Let's have a little more fun and a little less senseless depression this time, all right, Torchwood? (And a little more Rhys.) Also: dear self, if this mini-series is as terrible as the series that preceded it, please stop watching.

- I hope that Hetalia introduces a Wales before long. The Torchwood crossovers would be many and ridiculous.

- Speaking of ridiculous Hetalia crossovers: I think the Top Gear team would be delighted to have the physical incarnation of England as the Star in a Reasonably-Priced Car. (I haven't been posting about the new series of Top Gear, have I? I am enjoying it very much.)

- And surely someone must have written fanfiction in which the Winchesters encounter America. Surely.

- I want to go home! My academic year finished almost a month ago! PLEASE STOP BEING SO COMPLICATED, UNIVERSITY HOUSING SITUATION; I JUST WANT TO SEE MY FAMILY.

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I think there must be secret brainwashing messages encrypted into Torchwood. Everyone knows it is awful, but nobody can stop watching it.

I just had the sudden thought that I would like to see L as the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car, just so he can perch on the sofa in that little way he does. And freak Jeremy out.

I WISH I COULD STOP. I'VE BEEN TRYING TO STOP SINCE HALFWAY THROUGH THE FIRST SERIES.

L as the Star in a Reasonably-Priced Car would be amazing. (BUT HOW WOULD HE OPERATE THE PEDALS?)

He would have to sit on the floor of the car and just guess where the track goes.

(I CAN'T LIE: I HAVE BEEN SECRETLY HOPING FOR THE LAST SOMETHING-SOMETHING HOURS THAT YOU ARE GOING TO WRITE MORE LIGHT EFRON/KEVIN JONAS.)

(I thought all it had done was freak you out! Should I try to expand it into a full fic? (That would be quite a memorable entrance to both the Death Note and Jonas Brothers fandoms.))

(It distressed me, which is a different thing entirely.)

WANT!!!

They could feed him biscuits and the ginger beer they keep around for James, and spare sugar cubes they have for tea, and he could keep staring at Jeremy, and it'd be brilliant!

I'm still not entirely sure about the plan to have Torchwood on every day of the week, because I don't think it'll be very good for ratings (it's the summer! People have plans in the evening because of the weather! They don't spend every night holed up inside to watch the world's most rubbish team of people defending the Earth!) although then again there is that 'watch it online' thing you can do if you're in Britain, which could also count as ratings.

Still, it has creepy children, and this is always a good thing.

Do the BBC have to worry that much about ratings? They're not funded by advertising, after all. It does seem a bit odd, though.

Well, the people responsible for Torchwood probably worry about ratings, I imagine? They obviously want people to watch their show.

True. That was an odd comment I made there; not sure what I was thinking. Of course television stations want people to watch them, advertising or not.

Also, I missed this:

Still, it has creepy children, and this is always a good thing.

INCORRECT.

Not ad-funded, but I imagine they have to show value-for-money.

What on earth? Finland/Sweden?!

Mind you, we Finns are actually pretty kick-ass and not afraid of Sweden. ;)

(I'm actually very confused; what is this whole thing?)

Heh, it is quite confusing. Hetalia is a Japanese webcomic, now being made into an anime, about personifications of countries. This results in rather strange pairings, such as England/America, Germany/Italy and, yes, Finland/Sweden.

The translated quick description of Finland (who looks like this), from here:

A gentle young man with simplistic tenacity.

He seems very adult-like, and if you start talking with him it’ll last forever.

Also, he’s strangely strong in the cold. But he also loves saunas.

His awesome strength at the scene of a fire isn’t half-assed.

He likes to have really strange festivals.

But his friend Estonia snatched the Leader position from him.

(...do you have really strange festivals?)

Edited 2009-07-06 21:25 (UTC)

I like the idea of it, but yeah, since us Finns mostly tend to make jokes about the Swedes, it's kind of hilarious to see us paired up like that. :D

Well, we have a lot of different kinds of music festivals - my hometown hosts an annual folk music festival (it starts this weekend, actually) for example, but I don't know if they're strange. I'd say some of our contests are stranger! We have one for sauna going, wife-carrying, throwing mobile phones, playing air guitar, swamp football...

Oh! I heard about the wife-carrying contest from

futuresoon! (She had, incidentally, learnt about it through Hetalia-inspired research.) Is it true that the winner gets his wife's weight in beer? Because that's sort of amazing. (In fact, all of those contests sound amazing.)

[laughs] It's true, they do. We're kind of a crazy nation, I guess? We're really grumpy and grouchy for most of the year because it's dark, and then it's summer and light all of a sudden so we all just go nuts, basically.

There should definitely be a Wales. Hmm, that gives me an idea... *plots plots*
Also, I got your letter, and I enjoyed it very much! Your drabble is also the next one on the list. :D

'My' letter? I don't know what you mean.

(I'm glad you enjoyed it!)

Wait, what? New Torchwood?? Has the miniseries started already?

It has! I have just watched the first episode. It was not terrible!

(I love your icon. Rhys!)

See, I'd think Italy would be easier than Germany. Italy in my head isn't a ten-year-old, but a cheerful goof. He wants to hang out, have fun, eat well, and draw. Basic flaky artist boyfriend, without the emo.

Hmmm, I think my Hetalia characterisations do need to settle down a bit. We'll see how I feel once I've written a bit more.

I'll be interested in what you come up with. In some ways, Italy reminds me of you in your most flaily internet fannish moments. Only he's like that all the time, about everything, without anything sensible like lingustics or serious moments. And his brother is far less awesome than any of yours.

I think all the girl-chasing was a big influence. I pegged him as 'flaky young adult' pretty early. Now, in my head, he's the artistic boyfriend Germany's somehow acquired, who's never going to be serious, or get a responsible job, or make good money, but is really sweet and makes Germany smile, which is fine because Germany's done more than enough of the 'accomplished and responsible' stuff for both of them.

SWEDEN/FINLAND YESSSSS. There is even less fic of them than there is of Germany and Italy, which makes me sad, but then I just go and re-read their strips and I feel all warm and fuzzy again.

I think I justify non-G Germany/Italy the same way

amy_wolf does; fanfiction does tend to tone down the characters a bit, so fic!Italy in my mind is just a normal ditz. Like in that one fic I linked you, the one with the cathedral tower--he's not stupid, he's just kinda flaky and prefers not to think about the more upsetting aspects of life. And he's a fabulous cook.

A Hetalia!Wales would be ridiculously awesome, and in my headcanon she (Wales is a she, this is trufax) not only knows all about Torchwood but hasn't slept with Jack and never plans to, no matter how fervently he tries. She does feel oddly protective of him, though. Probably she and Ianto get along like gangbusters.

England would probably get into a shouting match with Jeremy. You'd think he would prefer James, but in truth he gets along best with Top Gear Dog, who doesn't ask him annoying questions or have excessively high expectations of him. Jeremy meeting America, now, that would be...something.

Possibly I will write about the Winchesters meeting America eventually! Possibly! I promise nothing other than that I adore the idea very much and apparently quite like doing Hetalia crossovers.

Sweden and Finland are wonderful! Ahahaha, you are a terrible, brilliant person.

Italy does occasionally attempt to chat up women in the canon. I probably need to get over my aversion to the idea of his having sex, yes. (But I've only got, er, four sentences left to write, so I doubt Germany and Italy will be having sex in any of the fifty.)

I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING YOU SAY ABOUT WALES. Especially her female-ness. I hadn't been thinking of her as a woman, but it just works.

I want to see Jeremy meeting America. I want to see it immediately.

Oh, I really hope you do write it. You would do it wonderfully.

I now want fic where Jack tries to seduce Wales, and she keeps shooting him down.

Riona, you're the one who's written Torchwood characters before. I think you know what you have to do.

I've only attempted Torchwood fanfiction once! In an unfinished crossover! With nine other fandoms! And there's no canonical Wales!

Pish-posh! I've read fic using the old Germanic state of Brandenburg; at least Wales is an actual country. And "once, unfinished" is still better than "never, not even attempted". The world needs this of you, Riona.

It does! Only Riona can save us all!

One thing that confuses me about Hetalia.

Where do the countries live?

In, er, the countries!

It is a bit confusing. Japan-the-landmass is referred to as Japan-the-person's 'house'; the period before the 1860s during which Japan refused contact with the outside world is depicted in Hetalia as Japan refusing to come out of or let anyone into his house.

Yes, but where are their houses located?

I think, although I may be wrong, that the house represents the entire country.

And yet, simultaneously, the country exists as a country.

I don't know. Hetalia isn't terribly serious and consistent about such things.

Except for Holland, because we were willing to do pretty much anything if it got us a decent trading deal, including (if I am recalling correctly) give up Christianity. Hmm, go to heaven or trade? TRADE PLZ.

I'd like to imagine Japan sneaking Holland in and out of their house like some clandestine love affair.

If you think that's confusing, look for the Surprise!Hitler moment in the manga. He's apparently Germany's 'boss'. I'm not entirely sure how that works.

Also, these (http://hurricanine.livejournal.com/213538.html) are indirectly your fault.

I felt that you should know about the existence of more pokemanips that you are indirectly to blame for.

I can't see them; it's a locked entry! Why would you torment me with Pokémanips that I cannot see?

I'm sorry! I did not know it was locked! I shall go prod the creator into unlocking them.

Or perhaps I shall just link to each individual picture. Will that work even if the journal is locked?

Linking to each individual picture may or may not work, depending on where they're hosted, and for courtesy's sake you should ask the person who created the manips for permission first.

Doesn't matter, I got her to unlock them.

I haven't seen Torchwood yet! Anyway, Sarah Jane Adventures >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> that edgy lesbian-hating mess. I need to get the box sets so I can show you.

:( I'm sorry about the housing situation; that's never very nice. Are you still looking for a new place for you and your housemate?

Torchwood was actually surprisingly good! The first two series both started out with strong episodes and then went downhill, though, so we'll have to see whether that holds. And I do not doubt that the Sarah Jane Adventures are better, because most things are.

We've found a place, but of course now it's a matter of sorting out all the paperwork and such, and we have to be especially careful to leave this house in order due to massive moving-out-at-the-last-moment guilt.

YES. YES. SO MUCH YES. Why can't the adult spinoff be as good as the children's spinoff?

Dorian grapes? You're a bad person.

And you must come home because I am coming home today, and honestly, what is the point of your not being in a London which has a Rei in it? (By which I mean: I want you to come home too so that I can hang out with you.)

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'I'll Be In Germany Next Year' Has Entirely Changed Its Meaning.

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You think that's bad, try 'lie back and think of England'.

Thank you; I shall. Except not, because it feels oddly incestuous.

Re: You think that's bad, try 'lie back and think of England'.

Re: You think that's bad, try 'lie back and think of England'.

Re: You think that's bad, try 'lie back and think of England'.

Re: You think that's bad, try 'lie back and think of England'.

Re: You think that's bad, try 'lie back and think of England'.

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