Riona (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rionaleonhart) wrote2009-09-16 10:56 am
rionaleonhart) wrote2009-09-16 10:56 am
Entry tags:
That Tune Is His Mind Control Music.
Here is a genuine thought I had a couple of nights ago:
Perhaps I should write fanfiction about Derren Brown's hammering-a-nail-up-his-nose act. But how am I supposed to write convincingly about that if I don't know how it feels? I suppose I'll have to NO WAIT NO THIS IS A VERY BAD IDEA.
Speaking of bad ideas, one spawned in a recent exchange with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
emmarrrrr:
emmarrrrr: (regarding Dissidia: Final Fantasy) You don't control Jecht - Jecht uses his manliness to make you input the moves he wants to use!
rionaleonhart: The idea of the character controlling the player is a rather interesting one. Although I suppose it wouldn't make for a terribly good game. (That is exactly what would happen in Derren Brown: The Videogame.)
So! Derren Brown: The Videogame. It has all sorts of different story paths, but it turns out that programming them in was entirely pointless, because Derren will always manipulate your choices to ensure his preferred outcome. You'll replay it in the hope of getting the 'arrested for fraud' ending this time and realise halfway through that, for reasons you can't quite place, you're taking all the actions that lead to the 'world conquest, intimate relationship with David Tennant and all the broken glass you can eat' ending again.
Whenever you interact with another character, Derren's internal voice quietly analyses all their language and behaviour in the background. Because Derren may claim to 'switch off' his analytical powers in day-to-day life, but it is so much more fun to assume he can't.
You barely need to touch the controls, of course, because the main character can read your intentions. Most of which he has carefully planted himself. Despite its quite clearly being a terrible concept for a game, it somehow achieves perfect scores in every magazine and on every review site, and even Yahtzee sings its praises.
Also, the ending credits send the player into a catatonic trance, just in case Derren is short on volunteers for his more disturbing television sequences and needs to resort to kidnapping.
Even knowing this, you're going to buy the game.
Mr Brown has been using his Twitter more in the past couple of days, which pleases me. My favourite of his tweets has to be the thousandth:
1000th tweet! Omgomg! Ok, here we go... I'm gay! God, that's so much better. Huge cloud lifted.
With the initial rather low-key 'by the way, I'm gay' mention in the Independent, and the Sun's later 'EXCLUSIVE: DERREN BROWN IS GAY, A FACT THAT WE ARE SURE DID NOT BECOME PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE HALF A YEAR AGO (LOOK, LEAVE US ALONE, WE REALLY WANTED TO MAKE THAT "MIND BENDER" PUN)', I think Derren Brown's thousandth tweet is actually the third time he has come out. Perhaps he is going for some sort of record.
Perhaps I should write fanfiction about Derren Brown's hammering-a-nail-up-his-nose act. But how am I supposed to write convincingly about that if I don't know how it feels? I suppose I'll have to NO WAIT NO THIS IS A VERY BAD IDEA.
Speaking of bad ideas, one spawned in a recent exchange with
emmarrrrr:emmarrrrr: (regarding Dissidia: Final Fantasy) You don't control Jecht - Jecht uses his manliness to make you input the moves he wants to use!rionaleonhart: The idea of the character controlling the player is a rather interesting one. Although I suppose it wouldn't make for a terribly good game. (That is exactly what would happen in Derren Brown: The Videogame.)So! Derren Brown: The Videogame. It has all sorts of different story paths, but it turns out that programming them in was entirely pointless, because Derren will always manipulate your choices to ensure his preferred outcome. You'll replay it in the hope of getting the 'arrested for fraud' ending this time and realise halfway through that, for reasons you can't quite place, you're taking all the actions that lead to the 'world conquest, intimate relationship with David Tennant and all the broken glass you can eat' ending again.
Whenever you interact with another character, Derren's internal voice quietly analyses all their language and behaviour in the background. Because Derren may claim to 'switch off' his analytical powers in day-to-day life, but it is so much more fun to assume he can't.
You barely need to touch the controls, of course, because the main character can read your intentions. Most of which he has carefully planted himself. Despite its quite clearly being a terrible concept for a game, it somehow achieves perfect scores in every magazine and on every review site, and even Yahtzee sings its praises.
Also, the ending credits send the player into a catatonic trance, just in case Derren is short on volunteers for his more disturbing television sequences and needs to resort to kidnapping.
Even knowing this, you're going to buy the game.
Mr Brown has been using his Twitter more in the past couple of days, which pleases me. My favourite of his tweets has to be the thousandth:
1000th tweet! Omgomg! Ok, here we go... I'm gay! God, that's so much better. Huge cloud lifted.
With the initial rather low-key 'by the way, I'm gay' mention in the Independent, and the Sun's later 'EXCLUSIVE: DERREN BROWN IS GAY, A FACT THAT WE ARE SURE DID NOT BECOME PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE HALF A YEAR AGO (LOOK, LEAVE US ALONE, WE REALLY WANTED TO MAKE THAT "MIND BENDER" PUN)', I think Derren Brown's thousandth tweet is actually the third time he has come out. Perhaps he is going for some sort of record.
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Being their Star In A Reasonably Priced Car meant he was going to spend most of the day with the Stig, and if there was one thing Derren didn't like, it was not knowing something, so he grabbed the chance to find out the identity of the Stig with both hands.
It wasn't that he was going to tell anybody, but he did want to satisfy his own curiousity.
"Do you mind if we take a short break?" Derren asked after his second practice lap.
The Stig shook his head, so Derren got out of the car, and went over to the Stig, who had stepped out as well. It would be a challenge to use his tricks on someone whose face entirely covered, but that was part of the fun.
It took some time, and some effort, but eventually the Stig nodded. Derren smiled, despite the slight headache he now had from concentrating on the Stig. "That's really very kind of you," he said, as the Stig took his helmet off.
The sight underneath the helmet was surprisingly familiar, as Derren saw it in the mirror all the time. "How - what - excuse me?" Derren spluttered. This wasn't possible. He had no long lost twins, or clones, and all right, maybe some people looked like him, but a perfect match like this wasn't possible. "I, er, I'm just going to get some tea." Derren turned his back on the Stig, and walked off. Things were bound to make more sense after a cup of tea. Perhaps all the petrol fumes had made him lightheaded.
***
The Stig smirked underneath his helmet. He felt a little bad for confusing Derren like that, and no doubt it would ruin his laptime, but then the tricks Derren had tried to use on him weren't fair either. Stig didn't get a lot of opportunities to use his own powers very often, so he couldn't help but use them when he could.
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But obviously, Richard did ask Derren to make Jeremy say he loves caravans, because Richard is still bitter about the Paul McKenna thing.
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Somewhere between the licking and the clothing removal, everyone just ran for it.
Although apparently, Jeremy's not a good subject for hypnotism.no subject