If You Don't Like Cats, You'll Hate Two Cats.

[rionaleonhart]

I have now seen the final episode of the fifth season of House, and oh, oh, I love Cameron so much. When she fell into Chase's arms and cried! She is so adorable! I felt some of the adorability that first drew me to Cameron disappeared around the third season, so it was good to see her and think '♥ ♥ ♥' again. I'd like to go back at some point to rewatch the first two seasons, in which my mind was full of ♥ ♥ ♥ every time she was on the screen.


Speaking of ♥ ♥ ♥: I am now out of the torture cell in Metal Gear Solid, and OTACON YOU ARE SO ADORABLE. She likes dogs! She must be a good person! Please don't hurt her! SHE SHOT ME ABOUT FIFTY TIMES, OTACON.

(I keep calling Otacon 'Ocelot'. They are very different characters. Ocelot is probably a cat person, for one thing.)

Of course, Otacon is not the only one being a bit ridiculous in that scene. Snake, if you want someone to help you out of a cell, there are more helpful things you could do than grabbing his shoulders through the bars and yelling at him. If Otacon can't move, he can't help you. I'm just saying. (Not that he was particularly helpful anyway. Well, yes, all right, he was unintentionally useful, but I still love that Snake calls Otacon up to say 'I AM IN A CELL, HELP ME' and Otacon's response is 'o hay I brought you some lunch.')

Finally: yes, all right, keeping half an eye on the walkthrough at all times is a shameful way to play a game. But I am quite glad of my cowardice at this moment, because otherwise my chances of spotting the time bomb Ocelot left amongst my items would have been exactly zero. (Why am I so terrible at this game? It is distressing. I accidentally throw the guards every time I attempt a choke-hold. Every time!

I suppose I should give up the walkthrough, if only because 'AUGH I JUST GOT BLOWN UP AGAIN' entries will probably amuse you more than 'disaster was narrowly averted!' ones. Sadists.)

...asdjhsfdffgh I was just half-watching The Simpsons and suddenly realised that Otacon reminds me of Mr Smithers. I DON'T KNOW WHY.


Strange Things I Have Discovered In My Notebook Notepad Files On My Computer:

OH ODDISH
YOU ARE SO CLODDISH
I SHOULD HIT YOU WITH SOMETHING RODDISH
AS PUNISHMENT FOR BREAKING THAT ODD DISH.

Am I going to be the second female Poet Laureate? All signs point to 'doubtful'.

(Also:

OH GOD IT IS A PSYDUCK
WHERE
OH GOD IT HAS A PYRAMID HEAD
PYRAMID PSYDUCK
PSYCHIC PYRAMID (DUCK) HEAD
THE FEAR
THE HORROR
AUGH
AUUUUUUUUUUUUGH

I was going to say 'AS IF PYRAMID HEAD WEREN'T BAD ENOUGH WITHOUT PSYCHIC POWERS', and then the thought occurred that perhaps Pyramid Head is Derren Brown and now I just want to hide in a cupboard.

(This was, incidentally, part of a method for remembering that Psyduck is number 54 in National Pokédex order. It makes sense, I swear.))

Comments

[burningvigor.livejournal.com]

That scene with Cameron was pretty adorable, and this is coming from someone who doesn't like her that much.

Good luck with MGS! You can do it!!

I like your poems. 8D ♥

[th-esaurus.livejournal.com]

Please write poetry on all topics forever, thank you bye.

[timydamonkey.livejournal.com]

Bwahaha I love your poetry!

I wrote something similar to the first one a few days ago. I misread "bake a cake" as "be a cake" and provided helpfully bad poetry about it called "Ode to Being a Cake". It was very strange.

Though not as much as the Psyduck poem!

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

I love your poetry! It is beautiful! Well, not so much 'beautiful' as 'entertainingly daft', but still fun.

Derren Brown Pyramid Head hadn't occurred to me. Now I'm picturing the entirety of Silent Hill as a needlessly elaborate 'experiment' which is going to be on Channel Four any day now. And Derren taking the helmet off afterward and going "Oh, that's quite heavy."

[th-esaurus.livejournal.com]

[bubbles-san.livejournal.com]

I thought Derren Brown was the Master and that Pyramid Head was his pet? (And that Derren was also Riona's brother Joseph and the Master was Obama, thus making Riona the First Sister? Hang on, I'm confused. Who did we decide Riona was? The Master or Derren Brown (or Pyramid Head?)

[bubbles-san.livejournal.com]

Riona, your poetry is weird
but it's not nearly as bad as you feared
you know it could be worse
your ability to write in verse,
because there's currently no blood pouring from my ears.

[gasmask.livejournal.com]

It actually took me a few seconds to notice anything odd about that picture. It looks so perfectly natural.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

I LOVE walkthroughs! They were my best friends during Silent Hill 2 and 4 and Final Fantasy VIII, and I've also used them during Morrowind, on occasion!

Also LOL POETRY.

[fireholly.livejournal.com]

unintentionally useful

Oh, he is even more adorable than that. If you call him after he gives you the ketchup, he says 'it's exactly the right colour and consistency... I took a long time finding it'.

Call him afterwards and Snake'll praise him for coming up with such a good idea (or, if you escape a different way, Otacon will be disappointed he couldn't figure out Otacon's idea). It is so wonderful. Particularly since Otacon could have just TOLD SNAKE TO USE THE KETCHUP but he wanted to test to see if Snake was as off-the-wall as he was (and had enough faith in it to bank his life on it). Impractical, but sweet.

[wolfenkahlon.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure someone does call your codec to warn about the bomb in your items... which is handy 'cause otherwise it would be a case of: "Yay! I am finally out of that cell and... why did I just EXPLODE!? Also, why did I not save my %&@#ing game!?"

Gah, I swear half the game for me consisted of "Okay... remember... choke don't throw, choke don't throw, choke don't... Goddammit!!" *guard staggers to feet, sees Snake and raises the alarm.*

[picaropicara.livejournal.com]

I never thought I'd find an incentive to play any of the Silent Hill games... but you've done it

[subtle-rift.livejournal.com]

'it's exactly the right colour and consistency... I took a long time finding it'.

Who designed that Shadow Moses Disposal facility? There's the 'unnecessary wolf tunnel bisection' and now the 'Ketchups of different colours and consistencies store room'.

[subtle-rift.livejournal.com]

She likes dogs! She must be a good person! Please don't hurt her!

I fail to see anything adorable in this perfectly sound and logical inferment.

[bubbles-san.livejournal.com]

And also I must admit
that I'm something of a sadist
(do forgive the lack of true rhyme
it's hard to talk like this all the time)
but I'd like to hear you talk of being blown to bits.

[saaski-moql.livejournal.com]

OH GOD IT IS A PSYDUCK
WHERE
OH GOD IT HAS A PYRAMID HEAD
PYRAMID PSYDUCK
PSYCHIC PYRAMID (DUCK) HEAD
THE FEAR
THE HORROR
AUGH
AUUUUUUUUUUUUGH

This made me laugh for an embarrassing amount of time. XD XD

[bubbles-san.livejournal.com]

And also, Riona, you must tell me, please
what made you decide to write poems like these
and how that helped you to recall
Psyduck's number and all-
To explain it would fill me with glee.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

If I recall, Riona is Derren Brown, who is Riona's brother Joseph, who is the Master, who is Barack Obama, and Derren Brown is also Pyramid Head. Which means Riona is both the First Sister and her own brother, and also she needs to waffle a bit less on health care reform and use her hypnotism powers to get a bill passed.

[fireholly.livejournal.com]

I'm a Metal Gear 2 fan, so I'm just thankful that MGS moved away from elevators in the woman's bathroom, dummy warehouses and having only one toilet in a whole country.

[rionaleonhart]

Cameron's unpopularity surprised and distressed me when I first looked at the House fandom. Pre-season three, she is the human equivalent of a basket of kittens to me. I have lost some of my love for her since then, though, which makes me quite sad. (I'm glad even non-fans found that scene adorable!)

As I apparently need a great deal of luck with MGS, thank you!

[rionaleonhart]

I wish you could live in my head, because then I would have your hilarious brilliance on hand at all times!

[rimon.livejournal.com]

That is the best Pokemon poetry I have ever seen.

Incidentally, it's the only Pokemon poetry I have ever seen. But that doesn't make it any less great.

[rionaleonhart]

WHY

WHY

WHY WOULD YOU MAKE SUCH A THING

You are a genius, but I am filled with fear.

(Although, like gasmask, I took a moment to notice what you had changed.)

[rionaleonhart]

I am glad you appreciate my poetic genius.

[rionaleonhart]

I would like to read your ode to being a cake, if you have it to hand!

[bubbles-san.livejournal.com]

So when she was calling Obama a dork last year, she was actually calling herself a dork?

And what are the odds she's her own grandpa? *bricked*

[rionaleonhart]

And Derren taking the helmet off afterward and going "Oh, that's quite heavy."

I can see this with worrying ease. Why is the concept of Derren Brown's having created Silent Hill as part of a psychological experiment so very plausible?

[timydamonkey.livejournal.com]

I'll give you the conversation clip and replace the display names with LJ user names... lol:

[18:36] timydamonkey: ODE TO BEING A CAKE
[18:36] timydamonkey: OH WOULD I LIKE TO BAKE
[18:37] timydamonkey: A TRULY SCRUMPTIOUS CAKE
[18:37] timydamonkey: (NO!)
[18:37] timydamonkey: I WOULD RATHER BE A CAKE
[18:37] timydamonkey: THAN A STUPID FAKE
[18:37] yumiboo: BY A LAKE
[18:37] timydamonkey: OMFG I CAN'T RHYME
[18:37] timydamonkey: ...I'M OUT OF TIME

...I think I was just really hyperactive at the time! I'm also really not a poet. :P

[subtle-rift.livejournal.com]

Plus, it's presumably in the women's bathroom, so that could be a problem.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Yes, indeed. I don't think Riona would deny her own dorkiness (in a good way, Madam President Master Pyramid Head! We love you, really!)

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

He was trying to help Sunderland through his widower's grief, but it went wrong?

[rionaleonhart]

There is such shame in using a walkthrough for me! I FEEL THAT I AM NOT A 'REAL GAMER'.

I'd love to see the walkthroughs for Derren Brown: The Videogame. 'BLOCK YOUR EARS DURING THE NEXT CUTSCENE, OR DERREN WILL FORCE YOU TO ROB A BANK.'

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

I will also happily use cheat codes and such. I probably fail at being a 'real gamer', but I am enjoying myself.

ALSO, AVERT YOUR EYES FROM THE NEXT CUTSCENE. NOT THAT YOU CAN, BUT YOU SHOULD PROBABLY TRY.

[rionaleonhart]

Oh, Otacon. Whilst I did like the idea that he risked life and limb sneaking in just to bring Snake something to eat, the fact that he actually wanted Snake to work it out for himself is just as charmingly ridiculous. I think I may love him a little.

[rionaleonhart]

Ah, it's slightly less evil if someone calls to warn about it. Although that raises the question of why the game designers added the bomb at all. To illustrate Ocelot's cunning, I suppose.

I'm glad I am not the only one tragically incapable of performing a choke-hold.

[rionaleonhart]

THE AWFUL TRUTH: Pyramid Head is not actually a Psyduck. Although I cannot guarantee that he is not actually Derren Brown.

(If you're going to play a Silent Hill game, go for Silent Hill 2. And then start thinking about what the characters from your other fandoms would experience in the town of Silent Hill. It is a crossover well that never runs dry.)

[rionaleonhart]

There should be poetry about every Pokémon.

NO, WAIT, I HAVE A BETTER IDEA: every poem should involve Pokémon in some way. Yes.

[rimon.livejournal.com]

I'll remember this rule the next time I write poetry.