rionaleonhart: kingdom hearts: riku, blindfolded and smiling slightly. (we'll be the darkness)
A worrying thought: how many of my favourite character types can be traced back to James Sunderland of Silent Hill 2? I love characters who make terrible mistakes and are overcome by self-loathing, characters trying to atone for things that can't ever be undone, characters who undergo horrible experiences they'll never recover from or be believed about, characters who can't trust their own perception of reality. And I follow all those threads back, wondering when I first developed these preferences, and they all take me to James Sunderland, all-time champion of the World's Worst Husband competition.

Mike Munroe of Until Dawn falls into three of these four character types (all four in a couple of fics where I kick in his perception of reality: Alone Together, Wrong Road Home) and, moreover, wears a James Sunderland-esque heavy green jacket for most of the game. It's no wonder I like him so much. If it's any consolation, Mike, you are at least a slightly better person.

Here is a small handful of Until Dawn ficlets, most written anonymously for drabble challenges on [community profile] fail_fandomanon, all focusing on Mike and Sam.

Until Dawn, 100 words, prompt: comfort bathing )

Until Dawn, 100 words, prompt: long-distance )

Until Dawn/Animorphs, 100 words, prompt: fusionfic )

Until Dawn, 300 words, prompt: Sam/Hannah )

(The last one came about because a friend challenged me to write some Sam/Hannah. Their response was 'Damn it, you managed to make my ship about your ship,' which is, I'll admit, a fair accusation. It's the only thing I can write!)
rionaleonhart: friendship is magic: rarity looks horrified. (oh no no no)
Here are a few thousand words of obnoxiously meta Community fanfiction. I suppose it's technically a finished fic, but I'm not going to give it a proper title and header because that will make it An Official Fic I Wrote, and it is so obnoxiously meta that I am frankly ashamed of myself.

Seriously, it's so bad that the answer to the question 'when is this set?' is 'between Community's cancellation and Yahoo! Screen picking it up'. It has footnotes. I'm sorely tempted to delete this entry-in-progress and run off without posting it at all. But I suppose someone might find at least a little amusement in it, and so I'm going to take a deep breath and hit the 'post' button.

(You may suspect, correctly, that this started out as idle musing on a Community/Silent Hill crossover. I don't know how it turned into this.)

Obnoxiously meta Community fic. )
rionaleonhart: friendship is magic: rarity looks horrified. (oh no no no)
Whoops, went quiet for a month and a half there. I'm still around! Not a lot's happened, though; I've mostly just been working. I hope there are still people here.

To my surprise as much as yours, I finally finished the answers to that character-number meme: the one where I picked fifteen characters and you asked questions like 'would Six and Eleven make a good couple?' without knowing which character corresponded to which number. The one I posted more than a year ago. That one. Whoops.

Previous answer instalments are here and here. Fandoms represented below the cut are My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy X, Final Fantasy XII, Final Fantasy XIII, Uncharted, The Mentalist, Red Dead Redemption, Phineas and Ferb, Portal, Peep Show, Silent Hill and Pokémon.

I was going to say 'It's stupid crossover time!' before remembering that, in this journal, every time is stupid crossover time. )

rionaleonhart: friendship is magic: rarity looks horrified. (oh no no no)
It is time for a game! Here is the premise:

- Come up with a good, or at least workable, concept for a work of fanfiction.
- Make it into a terrible idea by changing one word.

For example:

Jane wakes in unfamiliar surroundings. Red John is tired of the games. Extremely dark.

Jane wakes in unfamiliar surroundings. Red John is tired of the games. Extremely fluffy.

One of the l'Cie has been captured. Lightning mounts a rescue.

One of the l'Cie has been captured. Lightning awaits a rescue.

A love story about two souls displaced in time. Serah/Noel. Contains explicit scenes.

A love story about two souls displaced in time. Serah/Mog. Contains explicit scenes.

A series of ficlets in which various Waterloo Road pupils, struggling with personal issues, confide in the head.

A series of ficlets in which various Waterloo Road pupils, struggling with personal issues, confide in Pyramid Head.

YOUR TURN. Any fandom is welcome. I suppose you can try to write a snippet if you're really brave.
rionaleonhart: final fantasy viii: found a draw point! no one can draw... (you're a terrible artist)
It's been months since the first instalment of the character-number questions, but I have not forgotten about them! I'm just really slow.

Here is the second instalment! Fandoms represented are, as before, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy X, Final Fantasy XII, Final Fantasy XIII, Peep Show, Phineas and Ferb, Red Dead Redemption, Portal, Uncharted and The Mentalist, with the inevitable mentions of Silent Hill and Pokémon.

Some day I'll just have 'a delicious piece of cake' as the ninth character. )

There are yet more answers to come! Goodness knows how long it'll take me to get to them, though.
rionaleonhart: final fantasy xv: prompto, the best character, with a touch of swagger. (looking ahead)
I mentioned in my last entry how hot I found it when Jeff was beaten up in Community. On further watching: Jeff seems to be injured quite a lot, doesn't he? He's always being beaten up or having his head slammed onto a desk or getting accidentally kicked in the face. I probably shouldn't enjoy it as much as I do. Keep it up, Jeff. Also, sorry. It's not that I don't like you; it's just that you're particularly attractive when you're in pain.

The paintball episode ('Modern Warfare') is a magnificent, magnificent thing. I really love the shot where Jeff wakes up, gets out of his car and makes his way across the abandoned grounds. Gave me a bit of a craving for a Silent Hill crossover, to be honest. (Or post-apocalyptic Community fanfiction, but then the episode itself more or less fulfilled that craving.)

I think, although I 'ship Jeff/Annie the most, I sort of 'ship Jeff/everyone. Which is great, because Jeff also 'ships Jeff/everyone. Hooray!

And then, after writing the above, I watched 'Pascal's Triangle Revisited', the first-series finale.

Spoilers for the first-series finale of Community. )

So, yes, thumbs up to the first series of Community! I have very much enjoyed it and look forward to seeing more.
rionaleonhart: the mentalist: jane grins at you, evidently having just come up with a plan lisbon will hate. (let's go)
I posted Don't Look Back (my Waterloo Road/Silent Hill crossover) to and it got two reviews, both of which conclude with 'please update soon'. I - I don't think I have the heart to say 'er, sorry, that's actually the end, he's presumably trapped in his own head for ever, have a nice day.' (One of them wasn't logged in, so I don't even have the means to say it.)

The main reason for this entry: I just watched episode 4.17 of The Mentalist, 'Cheap Burgundy', and I'm quite excited about it. Thoughts!

The Mentalist: 'Cheap Burgundy'. )

New episode of Waterloo Road tonight! ♥! ...WELL, I CARE. BBC One at eight, if you've absolutely nothing better to do. I just want more people to watch this terribrilliant programme.

I don't suppose I've really sold it with all my 'THIS IS SO BAD, SO BAD, I LOVE IT' entries. Erm. The characters are engaging? The plots are invariably stupid, but the characters and the relationships between them are genuinely engaging. I think so, anyway.
rionaleonhart: the mentalist: lisbon, afraid but brave, makes an important call. (it's been an honour)
Well, apparently this is the unsettling product of feeling slightly unwell and listening endlessly to the Glee version of 'Somebody That I Used to Know'. Enjoy?

(To be honest, Josh's current storyline cries out for this crossover, and I tend to write Silent Hill crossovers even when they're not being cried out for. I don't know why I didn't anticipate this.)

Title: Don't Look Back
Fandom: Waterloo Road/Silent Hill
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 1,600
Summary: Set in series seven, during Josh's illness. Josh doesn't know where he is, he doesn't know how he got there, and he doesn't know if he can trust his own mind.

Don't Look Back )
rionaleonhart: final fantasy x-2: the sun is rising, yuna looks to the future. (um what)
Here is the first instalment of the answers to the character-number questions! You can still ask questions if you like, but you'd better ask them before reading these; the entry is over here.

Fandoms represented: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy X, Final Fantasy XII, Final Fantasy XIII, Peep Show, Phineas and Ferb, Red Dead Redemption, Portal, Uncharted, The Mentalist. Come to think of it, I think all of these are fandoms that only a handful of people on my flist are into. Whoops. Still, I hope you enjoy these!

In which there are terrible podcast ideas and strange gods, and the fact that robots don't have lips somehow becomes a problem multiple times. )

There are more answers to come, but I think that's enough for today.
rionaleonhart: legend of korra: korra cocks an eyebrow, looking smug. (we shall see)
I have now completed Uncharted 2! I think possibly my favourite part of the game, save the perfect opening and ending scenes, is the bit where Nathan and Flynn are working together and just snipe at each other the entire time. Hee!

I did come to like Chloe, in the end, which pleased me. I like her the most when she's with Elena. Then again, I also like Nathan and Sully the most when they're with Elena. Is there any character that can't be improved by the company of Elena Fisher?

Well, yes, probably. Pyramid Head, for example, would probably stab her, which I wouldn't approve of. But she definitely brings out the best in the main cast of the Uncharted series.



they are adorable and I 'ship them so much. The way they work together and worry about each other when they're in danger; the way they poke fun at each other in quiet moments. The ending. ♥!)

The first thing I did upon beating the game was purchase the 'Dirty and Beat-Up' character model for Drake, so he can be covered in blood whenever I please. Although I do also love his winter jacket. Mildly saddened to find that the character model on its own doesn't cause him to stagger around in obvious pain. I swear I'm not a bad person.

The second thing I did was load up the 'Where Am I?' chapter and pet the hell out of some yaks. (Forget every other criticism levelled at it: the worst thing about Final Fantasy XIII was the fact that it wasn't possible to cuddle the little round sheepy things. The first time I saw a yak in Uncharted, I immediately steered Nathan in its direction and was saddened when he didn't interact with it. But, as it turns out, it is in fact possible to pet the yaks! Amazing!)

I've only realised upon writing this that these two things display very different sides of my personality.

Unrelatedly: why are the radio and television trailers for this year's Children in Need (for the benefit of non-UKers: Children in Need is an annual television event to raise money for children's charities) backed by the song 'Fuck You' by Cee Lo Green? I am really confused.
rionaleonhart: red dead redemption: john marston reloads sexily (debatable). (just gonna reload while talkin' to you)
Unexpected but pleasant side-effect of playing Red Dead Redemption: I am now actually capable of playing through the shooty bits in the more difficult Uncharted! Both I and Nathan Drake thank you for teaching me how to aim, John Marston. (Although Red Dead Redemption couldn't prepare me for the Press Circle to Not Die bits, so I picked up Uncharted for the first time since playing Red Dead, cleared the firefight I'd left off at and then impaled myself on a fence, forcing myself to do the firefight all over again, three times in a row.)

I wish I cared more about the characters of Uncharted. Perhaps the caring will come. At the moment, my thoughts are 'quite like Elena, not terribly interested in Nathan'. Although I did laugh out loud when I sent Nathan out for the second time to climb about on the side of a building, far above the sea, and his reaction was 'OH GOD WASN'T I JUST OUT HERE?'

Also, curiously, despite not being massively invested in the characters, I seem to be 'shipping Nathan/Elena a bit. I certainly like Nathan more when he's in her company. (Possibly it's taking me a while to warm to Nathan more for reasons related to the company he keeps than because of anything about Nathan himself; he was with Sully at the beginning of the game, after all, and I was unfond of Sully. I think Elena is a better influence on Nathan.)

Whilst I think this is a pretty great game, a note to whichever Uncharted designer decided it would be a great idea to include a level in which you drive upriver on a jetski whilst people shoot at you and hundreds of explosive barrels float inexplicably downstream: please step forward to receive your punch in the face. You know it's no less than you deserve.

...all right, so I've played a bit more since writing the above and SUDDENLY UNCHARTED DECIDED THAT IT WANTED TO BE A SILENT HILL GAME



unrelatedly I watched Fresh Meat yesterday (episode seven) and there was a bit in which JP, who is an awful awful human being and moreover played by Jack Whitehall (I don't mind Whitehall, but I've never found him even slightly attractive before), sat his geology teacher down to a bribe of a takeaway in an attempt to find out what was to be on the upcoming exam and started going 'oh, but you've already eaten part of it, it's far too late to go back now' like some sort of evil genius and help me it was sort of hot. I think the hotness was based entirely in the sound. Apparently Whitehall does a really good subtly threatening voice.
rionaleonhart: final fantasy xiii: lightning pays intense attention to you. (speak carefully)
Am I the last person in the world to discover 3D photographs? These are so cool. The viewing technique reminds me a bit of Magic Eye pictures, so if you know how to see those you may have a head-start. Human vision is crazy!

On a less positive note: why is there so much Final Fantasy XIII fanart in which Hope is a big manly man and Lightning is blushingly submitting to him? No, seriously, I do not understand. This Hope? This Lightning? Really?

Hope Seduces Lightning: A Fic

Hope: Uh... Light? I was wondering - is it okay if I ask you something?
Lightning: Hm?
Hope: ...uh, never mind.

I learnt recently that Hope's voice actor also voices Phineas Flynn in Phineas and Ferb. This is delightful to me. I want Phineas to meet Hope and teach him about making the most of every day. There's a hundred and four days of Focus-pursuing; Cie'thhood comes along just to end it...

In subsequent poking through voice credentials, I also discovered that Snow's voice actor is voicing James Sunderland in an HD rerelease of Silent Hill 2. I don't know whether to be terrified or laugh forever. Has anyone written fanfiction in which Snow heads into Silent Hill to find Serah? Do it now; I'll wait. (I went to see if I could find anything about the remake on YouTube, and I found this preview, if anyone's curious about the new voices.)

Come to think of it, Cie'th wouldn't be at all out of place in Silent Hill. (Those Seekers? The monsters that basically consist of a head and an arm? I freaked out when one dropped a Cie'th Tear and I realised it had been a person once.) It's generally tougher to write Silent Hill crossovers with a character that already has experience of the horrific. Plus, although Snow certainly has psychological weak spots into which the town could twist a sharpened paperclip, I'm having trouble imagining why it would want to. Not a man with much darkness in his soul, Snow Villiers.

I think what I've learnt today is that 'shared voice actors' does not necessarily an unshakable foundation for a crossover make.

But it's still an awfully tempting one.

(EDIT: Today, I asked my brother to put some plates in the washing machine.

He did exactly that.

I really need to think more before I speak.)
rionaleonhart: final fantasy x-2: the sun is rising, yuna looks to the future. (staring into your soul)
If anyone was taking bets on how long it would take me to write a Silent Hill crossover after vaguely speculating on it in the previous entry, apparently the answer is 'two days'.

Title: But Through Your Eyes
Fandom: X-Men: First Class/Silent Hill
Rating: R
Wordcount: 2,500
Summary: In which Charles searches for Erik and perhaps finds more than he wanted to.
Warnings: This is a Silent Hill crossover and is therefore violent and weird.

But Through Your Eyes )
rionaleonhart: okami: amaterasu is startled. (NOT SO FAST)




And to think there was a scene in the episode that made me hope there might be half a chance of Tom/Karen. Alas, no; Tom/Karen must remain the baseless pairing of my heart, and instead we get the worst pairing ever. It's as if the writers went, 'Oh, hello, Riona! Would you like a piece of delicious chocolate cake? Yes, I thought so. Well, sadly we have no delicious chocolate cake to offer you, so we're going to hit you with sticks instead.' Is it absolutely necessary to bring out the sticks, Waterloo Road? I'm not entirely certain that the two things are substitutable.

Yes, all right, almost none of you watch Waterloo Road and so chances are this entry won't make any sense to you, but I had to express my disapprobation somewhere.

Oh, before I forget, I meant to make a quick note on the tennis yesterday. It's very difficult to get me to care about tennis most of the time, but dangle an Isner-Mahut match in front of me and I won't be able to take my eyes off the scores. I was so hoping they would play for another eleven hours, or at least that Mahut would win this time (he's my favourite because he looks like a porcupine), but alas no.

I want to write fanfiction set during the eleven-hour match last year, in which the world ends around them and Isner and Mahut don't notice because they're absolutely focused on playing. Isner hits the winning shot and falls to the ground in victory, and as he gets to his feet again he notices, for the first time, the eerie silence in the stands.

(Yesterday, I found out that Mahut was six foot three and went 'hang on, that can't be right, he's so much shorter than Isner'. And then I looked Isner up.

John Isner is six foot nine. How is that even a real height?)

And back to X-Men!

I'm quite amused by the way the appetite of fandom constantly expands to demand slightly more than it's been given, no matter how much it's fed. James McAvoy claims he had sex with Michael Fassbender four times, and the primary reaction I see on Tumblr is 'NOT ENOUGH TIMES'.

On that subject: James McAvoy, you massive troll. He and Misha Collins should work on something together. They'd end up competing with each other to see who could render the largest number of fans unconscious.

Here is a delightful thing I watched recently: the X-Men: First Class trailer redone with footage from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. No, seriously, it's beautiful. If you're wondering 'would that really work?', the first shot will give you your answer. Many thanks to [ profile] nightfire_kvala for the link!

I think X-Men: First Class is officially my fandom of the moment. I wonder how long it'll be before I try to cross it over with either Silent Hill or Pokémon. Either could be fun, where by 'fun' I mean 'fun' in the case of Pokémon and 'completely devastating' in the case of Silent Hill. goodness, Silent Hill was made for Erik Lehnsherr. But, then again, so was Magneton. Decisions!
rionaleonhart: harry potter: extremely poorly-drawn dumbledore fleeing and yelling NOOOOOOOOO. (NOOOOOOOOO)
I've never been a big Rigsby/Van Pelt 'shipper - nothing in particular against the pairing; I just don't think they have much chemistry - but there are some moments between them that I really love, and the end of 'Like a Redheaded Stepchild' is one of them. Van Pelt is engaged to someone else, but when Rigsby kisses her it's not an invitation to infidelity; it's just a goodbye. He doesn't expect anything from her. I think it's a really lovely moment.

The Mentalist is usually a fairly tame police procedural show, but then 'Strawberries and Cream Part One' happened and AAAHH


First, though, I'm going to discuss a non-AAAAAHHHHH-inducing thing: when Jane was curled up on the sofa with a blanket over his knees, talking to Lisbon on the phone a little sleepily, I immediately wanted phonesex. (Er, by which I mean I wanted Jane/Lisbon phonesex, not that I wanted to have phonesex myself.) What is it about Jane that makes me want to read phonesex? I suppose it's because Jane in my personal canon never actually has sex; phonesex is something that can be sexual for one of the pair, whereas the other is just enjoying constructing a scenario (and occasionally throwing entirely unerotic comments in, just to be a pain in the neck).

Further thoughts! Spoilers for 'Strawberries and Cream, Part One', the first half of the Mentalist third-series finale. )

...well, that was an awful lot of rambling about something maybe four of you watch.

(Apparently America got to watch the two parts of the finale in immediate succession, rather than having to wait a week between episodes. THAT'S NOT FAIR.)

So this entry doesn't consist solely of spoilery chatter about a series you don't watch: I don't really use Twitter, but I occasionally look at trending topics or run experimental searches. A few days ago, I found that over four hundred tweets listing my name with the then-trending #oldpeoplenames hashtag had been posted within three hours. THANKS, TWITTER. I'll have you know that I have met at least one other young Harriet.
rionaleonhart: kingdom hearts: sora, riku and kairi having a friendly chat. (and they returned home)
I was wondering last week where all the Doctor Who reaction posts were; evidently you were all waiting for this episode! And I can't blame you, because there was so much to react to.

Thoughts on yesterday's episode of Doctor Who ('Day of the Moon'). )

Stupid ficsnippet I wrote before I realised I would never be able to write an American from the sixties convincingly and it therefore wasn't going anywhere:

"Canton Everett Delaware III," the Doctor says. "You are amazing."

"It's pronounced 'the Third', I think," Rory says, quietly. "Not 'eee'."

"What? Oh, yes, of course; that naming style doesn't come into fashion for a long time yet. Did I ever tell you about that time I met Lady Edith Callican AAAA? Lovely woman, but it was always a bit embarrassing saying her name; I felt I was crying for help."
rionaleonhart: final fantasy versus xiii: a young woman at night, her back to you, the moon high above. (nor women neither)
Here is one of the more surreal things the Internet has spawned: a clip from Peep Show with a piece of music from Silent Hill 2 laid over it, making it deeply sinister. The ending in particular screws with my head.

And now more notes on Final Fantasy XIII!

Spoilers up to the first time you meet Cid. )

I was a little worried that Final Fantasy XIII wouldn't really work if I wasn't at the controller myself, but I'm really enjoying this game, even if I'm watching rather than playing it. There's so much delightful interaction between the characters, and visually it's absolutely beautiful. It really does work as a film.
rionaleonhart: harry potter: extremely poorly-drawn dumbledore fleeing and yelling NOOOOOOOOO. (NOOOOOOOOO)
I'm a young woman on Livejournal. I see my friend's posted a series of adverts, so I check them out, and I'm laughing so hard I wreck your car.


Despite being in my room.

Why is your car in my room, anyway? That's just asking for trouble.

Here's a meme I haven't done in a while!

- Write a list of characters and number them.
- Input the number of characters into this random number generator as the maximum and generate two numbers.
- Ramble about how the corresponding pairing/partnership/general interaction would (or, indeed, wouldn't) work. Perhaps write a snippet/one-sentence fic for it if you're feeling brave.
- Repeat to your heart's content.

(Although I haven't actually done this meme in over a year, I've kept my numbered list and continued to add characters to it as new ones enter my awareness and my affection, hence frankly ridiculous numbers like 143 cropping up in here.)

Represented below the cut: Peep Show, Pokémon, Just William, Glee, Silent Hill, Sherlock Holmes, Disney's Mulan, Supernatural, Kingdom Hearts, High School Musical, Waterloo Road, Fullmetal Alchemist and, erm, Arnold Schwarzenegger. )

Finally: have you always wanted to see strangely adorable zombie ultraviolence set to an upbeat Japanese pop song? [ profile] zarla knows you have, and she has provided. (She's made an entry about it here, if you'd like to learn about some of the detail that went into it or leave her a comment.)
rionaleonhart: top gear: the start button on a bugatti veyron. (going down tonight)
Okay, I officially have far too many half-finished fics lying around. I'm going to go through my 'Unfinished Fanfiction' folder and list what I have in there, so I can see at a glance what's on the to-write pile. If anything catches your fancy, feel free to ask about it or just verbally kick me until it's finished. Listed in descending order of present wordcount.

The present contents of my 'Unfinished Fanfiction' folder. )

It seems I have fiction on the go for about twenty different fandoms. I think this is a sign that I officially have too many fandoms.

(Regarding the Peep Show/Harry Potter AU: I know I once said it was impossible to write Peep Show fanfiction with a pre-adulthood Mark Corrigan, but I have since changed my stance. Writing Peep Show fanfiction in which the principal characters are eleven really makes no difference to their personalities whatsoever, in the case of one because he was essentially born thirty and in the case of the other because he retains the mentality of an eleven-year-old for the next twenty-five years.)

What I've realised about my writing habits recently - and this is the reason behind a couple of the 'unlikely to be finished' notes - is that I find it easiest to motivate myself to write if I feel I'm writing something nobody will have done before. It's why I'm able to write canon-compliant stories for Peep Show, whilst my Kurt/Blaine fics for Glee are always bizarre AUs: there's barely any fanfiction for the former, so anything I write will be new, whereas with Kurt/Blaine, a popular pairing in a popular fandom, it's difficult to find a concept that hasn't already been written.

...also, er, this isn't in my Unfinished Fanfiction folder, but I just came across it in my notebook:

"Gotter Rattata," William said, proudly. "An' Henry's got a Weedle an' Douglas's got a Spearow an' Ginger's not got anythin' yet, so we're catchin' somethin' for him now."

Why - why did I start writing a Just William/Pokémon crossover?
rionaleonhart: final fantasy x-2: the sun is rising, yuna looks to the future. (the end)
It annoys me that my primary fandoms of the moment are Peep Show and Glee, two shows that are essentially impossible to cross over. I tried to conceive of something involving Mark and Jeremy at school, but... no. Mark Corrigan cannot be a teenager. It simply doesn't work. He was born thirty.

Peep Show is generally quite a difficult programme to cross over with anything, possibly because its main characters are so incapable of normal human interaction. Try to have Mark converse with anyone but Jeremy and he immediately dissolves into panic, desperately trying to maintain his 'I'm a normal person, really, please believe this for long enough for me to get out of this conversation without humiliating myself' mask. I can't imagine he'd approve of Pokémon. Try to send him to Silent Hill and all he'll find is a piece of graffiti saying We considered sending monsters after you, but we decided you'd suffered enough.

The exception is Mark Corrigan/Luna Lovegood, which would be adorable. Mark would worry in her company at first, but eventually he would come to realise that she is a) equally bad at social interaction and b) not self-aware enough to recognise it and therefore probably not aware of how socially incompetent he is. He doesn't feel that he's at risk of fucking up their relationship every time he speaks to her! It's a miracle! Is this how other people feel in interaction with their significant others all the time?


Eventually, when she's staying over, she steps out onto the balcony to look up at the stars, leaving her wand on the bedside table, and Mark, in a fit of madness, locks her out. It's entirely reasonable; if he hears another word about Nargles, after all, he's fairly certain that he's going to snap and use an Unforgivable Curse on her, so morally this is almost certainly the right decision.

When she tries to get back in, fails and asks him to open the door, Mark is already regretting his rash action, but he's gone too far already; he can't back out now. He pretends that the lock has somehow become stuck.

"Just use an Unlocking Charm," she suggests.

Mark panics and snaps his wand in half. Why did he do that? That was utterly idiotic. And then, of course, he can't find an excuse for not using her wand to unlock the door, so in the end it didn't achieve anything. He lets her in, and she doesn't seem to suspect that any of it was intentional, but he resents her so much for causing him to break his wand that the relationship cannot continue.

...did I say it would be adorable? It would be adorable for a while, at least.