I Should Probably Try To Find A Plastic Sword.

[rionaleonhart]

Riona: This is a long shot, but do you by any chance have any brown waistcoats, suitable for an eighteenth-century blacksmith or rather classy pirate?
Shop Assistant: I very much doubt it.

What I learnt from my enquiries in ten or eleven clothes shops yesterday: it is extremely difficult to find waistcoats in Brighton, and even more difficult to find a suitably piratey one. Eventually, I had to settle for one that was slightly too modern and not as brown as I would have liked. My Will Turner outfit is going to be a bit rubbish. Sorry, th_esaurus. But I love my new waistcoat and, as my real-life acquaintances will know, I rarely purchase new clothes, so I'm actually rather pleased.


I didn't post about Merlin, did I? I enjoyed it! It managed to interest me in Merlin/Morgana, which was the only pairing within the Arthur-Merlin-Gwen-Morgana group that hadn't really appealed to me before. And it was nice to have a Morgana-centric episode after the sad lack of the previous two.

(Spoilers for the episode (2.03); highlight to read:

I do wish Merlin had told Morgana about his magic, though. If anyone would understand the need to keep it secret, Merlin, she would! And she clearly needed someone to relate to! I JUST REALLY REALLY WANT SOMEONE OTHER THAN GAIUS TO FIND OUT WHAT MERLIN IS. IS THAT SO WRONG? Gaius is wonderful, of course, but I just think things would become so interesting if Morgana or Gwen or anyone other than the single-episode villains and assless freaks found out as well. And, of course, I am looking forward enormously to the day when Arthur discovers Merlin's secret.

)

I have also rewatched some first-series episodes of Merlin, and I have three things to say:

- Merlin really isn't a fan of subtlety or suspense, is it? If someone arriving at Camelot is evil (and they always are), you will see a little bit before the opening telling you 'BY THE WAY, THIS PERSON IS EVIL'. Of course, by now we've realised that no newcomer to Camelot is ever good (Lancelot excepted), so Merlin won't be able to surprise us even if it stops going 'HEY, THIS GUY IS ABOUT TO ARRIVE AT CAMELOT, BUT FIRST LET'S WATCH HIM KILL THIS OTHER GUY.'

- In the episode 'The Gates of Avalon', Sophia is Derren Brown. YOU'LL NEVER SEE HER KISSING ARTHUR IN THE SAME WAY.

- I want Anthony Stewart Head/Bradley James fanfiction and I don't know why.


Derren Brown recently Tweeted that he had dinner with Dan Radcliffe. I am taking this as evidence for the theory that he is, in fact, Albus Dumbledore. Also, here:

Just spent 5 mins looking for my slippers to find I was wearing them. Don't tell anyone, it doesn't fit the brand at any level.

He is so cute! So evil and yet so cute! It is ridiculous! (This mental lapse from the man who memorises the layout of London in his spare time.)

(EDIT: AND NOW HE HAS COMMENTED ON HIS ROULETTE FAILURE IN THE VOICE OF STEWIE GRIFFIN FROM FAMILY GUY. DORK. DOOOOOOORK.)


[INSERT SOME SORT OF SEGUE IN A VAIN ATTEMPT TO MAKE THIS ENTRY SEEM LESS DISJOINTED HERE], something I scribbled down in my notebook just before going to sleep:

In the Avatarverse, Derren Brown is the son of a female Waterbender from the North Pole and a male non-bender from the Earth Kingdom, so he was born and raised in the Earth Kingdom despite being a Waterbender himself. Due to the sexism of the Northern Water Tribe, his mother could teach him only how to heal, not knowing any offensive Waterbending, but Derren became fascinated by the possibilities of bending and began to experiment on his own. He discovered not only Bloodbending, allowing him to manipulate people physically, but how to manipulate people mentally (perhaps by somehow influencing the mood-altering chemicals in their bodies?). Yes, it's possible to force people to obey you with Bloodbending, but it is somehow so much more satisfying when you make them want to do it.

Have I been thinking too much about this? It is quite possible.

Comments

[th-esaurus.livejournal.com]

I really hope the opening to this entry is a true-to-life transcript ;__;

[rionaleonhart]

I promise you that it is.

The shop assistant seemed entirely unfazed. Perhaps he is used to catering (or, indeed, failing to cater) to eighteenth-century blacksmiths.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

I was quite excited when Neil Gaiman was tweeting at Derren Brown (http://twitter.com/neilhimself/status/4652771640). It's the sort of random fandom crossovers you get with real people!

[rionaleonhart]

Hee, I had not seen that! It sort of makes me want to continue my Derren-in-London-Below crossover.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

Also, have you tried secondhand clothing shops? They often have unusual clothes. Y'know, for future dressing up.

[dancesontrains.livejournal.com]

Have you been to Dirty Harry (http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?hl=en&rlz=1I7ADFA_en&um=1&ie=UTF-8&q=Dirty+Harry+brighton&fb=1&gl=uk&hq=Dirty+Harry&hnear=brighton&view=text&latlng=1916953713201562368)? They have loads of waistcoats.

...and I somehow missed the part about you buying one anyway! /o\ Never mind, one of these days I am dragging you around to try clothes on >:D

[rionaleonhart]

Oh, thank you for the advice! I shall remember that when I am next in need of a waistcoat.

Oh, dear, you do not want to go clothes shopping with me. It will be a painful experience for both of us. Clothes shops and I do not get along.

[dancesontrains.livejournal.com]

I was trying to think of some clever retort involving masochism, sadism and sex shops, but failed :(

[wanttobeatree.livejournal.com]

Have I ever mentioned that I love your assless freak? CAUSE I DO.

[rionaleonhart]

I am glad it is appreciated! It wasn't in this entry at first, but I couldn't resist going back to edit it in.

[wanttobeatree.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you edited it in. I would have been so confused without it! A RIONA POST WITH HIGHLIGHT-TO-READ AND WITHOUT ASSLESS FREAKS? IT'S JUST NOT ON.

[zeitheist.livejournal.com]

The only part of the highlighted text which is readable to me on my friends page layout is 'interesting' and 'assless freak'. For some reason this amuses me.

OH GOD DERREN BROWN. I'm sort of gaining an affection for him from you, via some sort of osmosis. I've never even seen a Derren Brown show (he frightens me too much). THIS IS CLEARLY ALL YOUR FAULT.

[rionaleonhart]

Derren Brown has obviously learnt how to control minds through others' Livejournal entries. Be very careful.

[zeitheist.livejournal.com]

*backs away from you in horror*

[fera_festiva]

I was going to suggest Dirty Harry too! OK, so if you haven't, then try that costume shop on that same street. Also, oddly enough, Primark often has waistcoats.

I LOL'd at "assless freak". :D

[rionaleonhart]

Man, I didn't manage to get to Primark before closing time. Thank you for the advice!

[fera_festiva]

I only know this due to a quite pisspoor steampunk outfit I had to put together last year...

(I completely missed the part in your post where you said you'd already bought something. *facepalm* I'm not with it today at all.)

[misskass.livejournal.com]

I'm quite desperate now for someone to find out Merlin's secret. Someone nice, of course, as all the evil people inevitably already know or are assless freaks of some kind (apparently), so someone nice knowing something about Merlin other than the fact that he's Arthur's sexytimes friend slave would be awesome.

[rionaleonhart]

YES. I am deeply sad that he missed such a perfect opportunity to tell Morgana. On the other hand, I do sort of want Arthur to be the first to find out, and as so much of Merlin revolves around keeping the magic secret I don't imagine that will be happening for a while.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Your Derren Brown/Avatar idea makes an alarming amount of sense.

And please get Will Turner pictures! You've got an amazing resemblance to Orlando Bloom in the first place (although you may be proof that it is possible to look more feminine than Orlando Bloom), and you seem quite piratically inclined. Please?

You can send them by mail to the undisclosed location, if you like. You can even claim they are from Will Turner.

[rionaleonhart]

The main reason I decided to dress as Will Turner was because you and ladybella had said I looked like Orlando Bloom. I'm not sure how convincing a genderswapped Will Turner I'll be, but there may well be photos after th_esaurus' party!

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

I think you'll be as good at playing genderswapped Will Turner as I am at having near-misses with tsunamis. Which, going by these past couple weeks, is alarmingly good.

[the-funmonkey.livejournal.com]

Derren Brown is the son of...a male non-bender. - IT JUST NEVER GETS OLD. I AM SORRY.

The Merlin/Morgana angle pleased me, mainly because we have now ticked off every possible angle of this OT4. Bonus points to the scriptwriter for Arthur's jealous rant about flowers, though.

I wonder if Derren has conversations with himself using Stewie as one of the voices? I bet he does.

[rionaleonhart]

IT IS NOT MY FAULT THAT AVATAR HAS FAILED TO TAKE INTERNATIONAL SLANG INTO ACCOUNT.

Yes, Arthur demanding his flowers! It was such a 'no, I'm not imagining things, the BBC really are keeping half an eye on the fandom' moment.

I wonder if Derren has conversations with himself using Stewie as one of the voices? I bet he does.

...well, I certainly hope he does. (That mental image has generally improved the world.)

[urawrd.livejournal.com]

I can't tell you how hard I laughed at his Stewie impression. I mean, oh my God I love him.

[rionaleonhart]

HE IS SO RIDICULOUS. And I am excited to see on your journal that you may be going to see Enigma live, because there was a bit of it that just made me think of you.

[urawrd.livejournal.com]

Oh what, now I'm curious! D:

[rionaleonhart]

No joke: the first thing I thought when we left the theatre was 'I MUST TELL urawrd ABOUT oh, blast, we've been sworn to secrecy, haven't we?'

I hope you enjoy it!

[rimon.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD THE STEWIE GRIFFIN THING.

I love real-life fandom crossovers. I laughed hard at the part about Derren Brown being Dumbledore.

By the way, it's kind of odd to see a big block of blackness with the words "assless freak" in the middle of it.

[bubbles-san.livejournal.com]

Riona always does that if she has spoilers. She blacks them out and adds 'assless freak' somewhere in blue.

For the amusement factor.

[rionaleonhart]

Derren Brown is Dumbledore. I will not be convinced otherwise. He is an incredibly powerful bird-owning gay wizard who has had dinner with Harry Potter! His home looks like this!

[rimon.livejournal.com]

I wasn't entirely convinced until I saw the picture. Now I am 100% sure you are right.

[johnnypurple.livejournal.com]

Ooh, Sophia as Derren Brown. Hmm. Interesting. I wonder if this was what Nix & Sajee had in mind when they made this:

[adraekh.livejournal.com]

The words "assless freak" are staring at me in a way that makes me uncomfortable.

That said, I have completely succumbed to Derren Brown's mind powers and actually ordered his book off Amazon the other day. It's not as if I actually have the time to read his book (or any other book), but - argh! Cannot resist.

Also, I went to a guest lecture yesterday, and the guy who introduced the lecturer looked creepily like Derren Brown. A little less thin around the cheeks, but nevertheless - it was highly disturbing. He even had the goatee down. (Er, and I think said guy is a Classics professor at my school. I find that kind of amusing for some unknown reason.)

[rionaleonhart]

Oh, I hope you enjoy Derren's book! I was pleasantly surprised to realise he was actually an excellent writer, and the memory techniques are genuinely useful.

Obviously your lecturer is Derren Brown himself, having altered your perception just enough to make you think it must merely be someone who looks like him. You'd better watch out.

[adraekh.livejournal.com]

Observation: Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize.

Explanation: He is either the Master, or he's been taking lessons from Derren Brown over the years. It is probably the latter, seeing as how Obama lived in Chicago, and the Classics professor (whom we all agree is really Derren Brown) has also lived in Chicago for at least the past five years.

It all makes perfect sense, and now, I am living in mortal terror.

[newbie1990.livejournal.com]

I AM EXCEEDINGLY HELPFUL (http://community.livejournal.com/merlinrpf/tag/bradley/anthony). Unless you no longer have the craving, in which case I am just annoyingly late.