Why Do You Hate Me When I Show You Nothing But Love?

[rionaleonhart]

Tagged by draegonhawke.

a) Write down 7 things that piss you off
b) Now 7 things that make you happy.
c) 7 fun things that you wish you could get paid to do for a living.
d) Tag 7 people.

I’m supposed to come up with seven things that piss me off? It’s generally... very difficult to seriously piss me off. I can stay calm about most things. Okay, let’s see...



- My incredible, ridiculous social anxiety. This is, er, pretty self-explanatory. I am deeply, deeply afraid of talking to people, and I hate myself for it.

- Betrayal of trust. I’ve been lucky enough not to be seriously taken advantage of, so this is just a general thing, not related to any specific incident. LOOK I AM ALREADY CASTING AROUND WILDLY FOR THINGS TO PUT HERE.

- British superiority. I love living in England, but the prejudice against Americans here is shocking. There seems to be an ever-present assumption that we’re somehow better or more intelligent than they are. I hate that. I especially hate the fact that, as this mindset is so pervasive, sometimes I catch myself feeling superior. It’s actually really difficult for me to type this, because I don’t like admitting that I sometimes fall prey to having prejudices. I realise that they are stupid and determinedly beat them out of me if I catch myself at it.

- THE FUTURE. This isn’t really something that ‘pisses me off’; it is something that terrifies me. I’m leaving school in the summer! I’ve been in school for fifteen years! What am I going to do? Where should I apply for university? Am I planning to apply to university for all the wrong reasons? I’m going to have to leave the home and family that I love so much at some point – where should I go? What should I do? How will I survive?

- Gossip. It makes me very, very uncomfortable when people talk about other people behind their backs. I’m always too much of a coward to defend the person being talked about, though.

- People making assumptions about me. Even if the assumptions are true, it bothers me. If someone goes ‘OMG RIONA YOU SUPPORT HET PAIRINGS? SHOCK’, I’m going to be irritated at the implication that the only relationships I’m interested in are slash. If someone assumes that I prefer console RPGs to first-person-shooters without prior evidence, I’m going to be irritated even though it is absolutely true. I don’t know why.

- Um, people who kill or attack other people make me kind of annoyed.


Things that make me happy:

- Watching Scrubs. It’s so wonderful and hilarious, and it still manages to be completely heartwrenching at just the right moments. The cast version of ‘Waiting For My Real Life To Begin’ (song titles in quotes? Is that what I usually do? I’m very inconsistent) that they sang in ‘My Philosophy’ brings me to the brink of tears every single time, whether I’m watching the episode or just listening to the song. I just saw ‘My Occurrence’, the episode in which we first meet Ben. This series does horrible, horrible things to my heart.

...um, Riona, this is supposed to be a list of things that make you happy, not things that break your heart.

Scrubs really does make me ridiculously happy, though. Also, it is setting new land-speed records for making me fall in love with characters. I love Ben a, quite frankly, ridiculous amount. I love his weirdness and his slightly evil playfulness (Ben: Touch the nail! TOUCH IT! LICK THE TIP OF THE NAIL! JD: asdfjhfhg *faints*), and I really love the fact that he is someone who Perry (because I can only think of Dr. Cox as ‘Perry’ in relation to Ben) can treat as a friend and equal.

JD continues to be absolutely adorable. Passing out and desperate hope and ‘oh god yes’! Awww.

- Writing. I love it when I’m writing something and it’s going well, and I keep on being struck with inspiration throughout the day and scribbling lines down feverishly in my notebooks or on receipts or on whatever’s to hand at the time. It’s a little bit annoying when I’m trying to get to sleep or having a bath and I’m struck with an idea, but I keep a notebook beside my bed and paper in the bathroom for exactly those moments. The trouble is that I thunder towards finishing whatever I’m writing at a frantic pace when I’m in a writing mood, and then when I’m finished, although there’s that feeling of accomplishment, there’s also a slightly depressing ‘...now what?’ feeling.

- Dragging other people into my fandoms. Mainly because this often leads to...

- Reading what other people have to say about my fandoms. I do a little dance of joy whenever I see someone I respect talking about something I love.

- LiveJournal comments. Seriously, I love getting them. I rarely actually comment myself, though, which seems a little silly. I’m trying to improve on this.

- Reviews! Another thing that I love but don’t do for others enough! Every so often I’ll get into a ‘reviewing’ mood, though, and then whoever gets in my way will get an eight-hundred-word review, or four two-hundred-word reviews, or a mini-review on every one of their fifty sentence-fics.

- This is because, corny as it sounds, ‘making people happy’ is another thing that makes me happy. This is probably at least partially my reason for dragging people into my fandoms – if I can introduce someone to something that they enjoy, I will be absolutely thrilled.

I am not going to answer the last two questions, mainly because a) thinking about what I should do for a living, even in jest, freaks me out, b) I’m really lazy, and c) I never tag. If you want to do this, you are tagged! Enjoy!

Also, a meme stolen from firefly99, who posted it with hilarious results:

If you make up titles for fanfiction I didn't write (you may add more specifics, such as fandom, pairing, characters involved), I will respond with details of those non-written stories.

Comments

[fireholly.livejournal.com]

I vaguely remember not reading that wonderful fic you did a while back. It was called I Am A Man Of Constant Sorrow and involved Jack Harkness and someone else, but I can't remember. I think he was very angsty. I think that was the only fic I've ever not read which involved an angst scene in which one of the characters only used the word 'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaangst'.

[rionaleonhart]

Ah, I Am A Man Of Constant Sorrow. My second attempt at Jack Harkness/James Sunderland and, I think, my best. Having learnt from my previous attempt, I decided that attempting to keep the characters reasonably realistic was just Not The Answer.

Hence I Am A Man Of Constant Sorrow.

Although the ridiculous amount of shagging was fun to write, I think my favourite part of it was when Jack first met James. It remains, I think, my finest example of characterisation to this day.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Jack asked, squatting beside the weeping man.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaangst," he lamented, clutching a photograph to his breast.

"'Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaangst' is not a word," Jack said sternly. "Tell me in words."

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaangst," repeated the man. Jack frowned. It was clearly going to take all of his detective skills to figure this one out.

Then, of course, he realises that all James needs is a really good shag. I am also particularly proud of the dialogue during sex:

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaangst."

"Look, this is the best sex you've ever had and you know it, so if you'd kindly stop whining -"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaangst."

"I can understand that you've been through a pretty rough time, but I'm doing the best I can, okay? Can't you put in a little effort yourself? I feel like I'm shagging a wall. And yes, I would know."

"...Mary?"

"No, Jack. I'm Jack."

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaangst."

"I wish you'd stop saying that.

[fireholly.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow, I remember now. Such warm and happy memories. If a rabid chichuawa hasn't eaten your computer insides, could you send the fic to me plzthx?

[idan-cohen.livejournal.com]

Surely your epic work, My Marmoset Is All I Have To Give, made me giggle and laugh quite merrily, despite (In all likelihood), the way I didn't know any of the characters it featured.

I also approve of making people happy. That is all I have to say right now!

[rionaleonhart]

One of the more unfortunate things about My Marmoset Is All I Have To Give is that I thought when I started writing it that a marmoset was a weasel-like creature, and only realised that it was a type of monkey halfway through chapter fifty-seven. Because of this, the major plot twist that my readers loved so much (that the stoat Edward Elric gave to his brother Alphonse as a peace offering was actually a monkey in disguise, in case you've forgotten - I hope I haven't spoiled anyone reading this, but seriously, it's by far my most famous work and I'll be very surprised if anyone here hasn't read it) was actually completely accidental.

I think that my innovation of having every third chapter be a ten-thousand-word description of a different type of metal was a stroke of genius, if I may say so myself. One thing that I was rather shocked by was the fact that very few readers picked up on the morse code. Every time 'marmoset' was mentioned in lowercase in the description it corresponded with a dot, 'MARMOSET' was a dash, and by the end of every metal-describing chapter a letter would have been spelt out. Unfortunately I couldn't come up with enough metals to spell out 'IT WAS THE MARMOSET IN THE PANTRY WITH THE CARVING KNIFE', so I ended up having to use Dalekanium and Mithril. I don't think anyone noticed, though.

The particularly unfortunate thing about so few people picking up on the blatant morse code was that most of my readers believed that the narrated solution to the mystery - that Sherlock Holmes had brutally murdered Flax with a poisoned monocle - was the true solution, when in fact, were they only slightly more observant, they would have realised that it was the monkey all along.

[fireholly.livejournal.com]

I knew it. I remember my suspicions building that it was the monkey, but...

[idan-cohen.livejournal.com]

(Is a marmoset really a type of monkey and not a weasel-like creature? Are you sure? You have ruined my dreams.)

's sad that your grand sequel, It Was The Monkey You Idiots, never did gain the recognition that it should have.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

I remember reading your story The Happy Fluffy Bunny Adventure!, which if I remember correctly, was a wonderful crossover between Doctor Who and Red Dwarf. I especially liked the scene in which Cat and Cap'n Jack gave each other fashion tips.

[calamitysxchild.livejournal.com]

yea.

You definitely need to write more Scrubs fics.

Right now. :P

I'm pretty sure I've read almost every single one that's available on the 'net. :P

[thebaconfat.livejournal.com]

I so hear you on the social anxiety. ARRGHH I try so hard to be friendly and talk to people but I get nervous and I can't think of things to say and ablksfjhjdhf it sucks.

I sometimes fall prey to having prejudices.

Everyone does. I think we might be sort of hardwired for it -- same goes for the 'making assumptions' thing. It's sucky, but there it is. I think the important thing here is that you're able to recognize it and admit to it. Not everybody's tough enough to admit to being wrong about that sort of thing, or willing to make the effort to change.

And man, people who write thoughtful reviews -- I AM TALKING ABOUT YOU HERE SUBTLE SUBTLE SUBTLE -- make my heart incredibly happy. A thoughtful review cancels out like two hundred rude customers, it is awesome, MY MATH IS FLAWLESS.

I've always been fond of your compassionate and sophisticated look at grief and the mourning process, Zombie Dumbledore and the Adventure of the Broken Time-Turner. The Pyramid Head cameo, while understated, was really the emotional high point of the fic.